The Logic of Vulcan Emotions
by Stephen D. Greaney
sexual situation, adult theme, no erotica
plot summary: Chekov gets a special assignment, as Kirk tries to keep the Federation together, in this often humorous story.
Captain’s Log: Stardate 4131.9
The Enterprise will soon break orbit above the planet Vulcan. Our overt mission is to transport two opposing delegations to Earth, and the Federation’s Planetary Policy Appeals Commission. More importantly, StarFleet has ordered that we use every possible means of persuasion in forestalling a diplomatic crisis.
The Vulcan government has ruled that a group promoting emotionalism among Vulcans has engaged in dangerous, and illegal activity, and must disband. The newly banned group is appealing the decision to the Federation Commission empowered to overrule unjust decisions made by the individual planetary governments of Federation members.
The Vulcan High Council has officially informed the Federation that it will seriously consider leaving the Federation entirely, if the Commission rules in favor of the appealing group… The Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society.
The Society takes the position that it has the right, under Federation law, to have its members express emotion, and encourage other Vulcans to join them. They have every reason to expect the Federation will overturn the banning of their group by the Vulcan government.
The Vulcan High Council states that allowing the existence of a group promoting emotionalism among Vulcans is the first step on a journey toward complete chaos on Vulcan. They point to the history of violent barbarism among Vulcans before they abandoned emotions in favor of supreme logic.
I can only hope to foster an agreement between the two sides before we reach Earth; avoiding the real possibility that a cornerstone of the Federation, the Vulcans, will leave the Federation forever. I consider myself lucky to have Mr. Spock at my side in these impending delicate negotiations.
The lights of the transporter panel blinked obediently for Mr. Scott, and the transporter chief, as they looked down at the panel. The others stood closer to the transporter pads. Kirk had one foot resting on the stair separating the pads from the Transporter Room floor. Wearing full dress uniforms had been discussed. Better to make an impression with them at the formal dinner, it was decided.
McCoy said, “What I don’t understand is why we are responsible for negotiations, and not the Federation Diplomatic Corp?”
Spock replied, “A simple matter, Doctor. First, do no harm. The diplomats fear that interceding at this juncture can only invite further trouble for the Federation, and believe we are fully capable of defusing the situation.”
“Well gentleman, that’s not going to happen if we stand here gabbing all day,” Kirk said. He turned his head, and spoke in an expectant tone. “Mr. Scott?”
“Aye, sir. I’ll beam the first party aboard.”
Kirk inquired, “Are both parties on transporter pads?”
“Then beam both parties aboard simultaneously.”
“But Captain, Vulcan Space Command specified that the parties be beamed aboard separately,” Scott protested.
“I’m aware of that, Mr. Scott. You have your orders.”
“Yes, Captain. Preparing to energize.”
Kirk addressed Spock, and Dr. McCoy, for a moment. “I want them together as soon as possible. I want to see what I’m dealing with here.” Then, “Mr. Scott, you’re spending an awful lot of time in the Transporter Room for the Chief of Engineering?”
“Aye. These pads have been acting up a wee bit lately. It would be more than my job is worth to loose the patterns of a Vulcan High Council delegation.”
“I see your point,” Kirk said with a grin. “Energize.”
The familiar sights and sounds were evident as five Vulcans, from the planet below, had their atoms reassembled on the transporter pads.
Kirk immediately stepped up. “Madame T’Pau, I had no idea you would be gracing my ship.”
“Indeed, Kirk. Thee are looking fit considering thy death,” T’Pau said.
“If I may, that was entirely my responsibility,” Bones broke in.
“Thee do thyself no credit by reminding us of thy outworlder treachery,” T’Pau intoned. To Kirk she said, “Thee feign respect, yet thee have us in the presence of rabble. Thee have prepared quarters for us?”
Kirk said, “Why yes, T’Pau. But I thought the two delegations could tour the ship, and then later perhaps dine together with my senior officers. We would be interested in hearing from both sides regarding the issues that separate you.”
T’Pau walked past Kirk saying, “We weary of this. We will retire to our quarters. Our assistant will visit thy command center.”
“The Bridge, Madame T’Pau,” offered Spock.
T’Pau continued, “But not in the presence of these heretics.”
“We expect the Federation to look upon us more kindly, T’Pau,” came the reply from the obvious leader of the opposing delegation. He was a tall man, perhaps Spock’s age. “I am Salec, and we are of the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society.” He smiled at Kirk, as he gestured toward his two companions. Salec was accompanied by a young male, and female.
T’Pau halted before Spock saying, “Spock, will thee escort us to our quarters?”
Spock gestured toward the door as he said, “Of course, T’Pau. Please step this way.”
Salec spoke as Spock was about to turn away. “Spock, I hope we can talk later. I would be interested in discussing your experiences aboard the Enterprise.”
“That would be agreeable. I will have ample time to answer your questions, Salec.” With that Spock turned to go.
Kirk said, “Dr. McCoy, would you escort Salec, and his party, on a tour of the ship?”
“Delighted, Captain,” Bones said. The doctor’s broad smile brought smiles to the faces of Salec, and his companions. “Let’s start with Sick Bay. Mr. Spock finds it fascinating,” said the doctor.
Kirk offered a polite hand of support down from the transporter pad level as he said, “And you?”
T’Pau’s tall, slender and young looking assistant ignored Kirk’s hand as she descended saying, “You may call me T’Lan.”
Kirk was quickly by her side saying, “Welcome, T’Lan. Let me show you my Bridge.”
Within moments, only the transporter chief, and Scotty remained. “That didn’t go too well,” said the transporter chief.
“Things could have gone much worse,” said Scotty.
“Oh? How so?”
“We could have lost their patterns.”
Kirk knew he wasn’t making any headway with T’Lan, and made no effort to move on with the Bridge tour once she became stationary near Mr. Chekov. Kirk remained as pleasant as possible. “If you have any further questions about Bridge operations, Mr. Spock can -”
T’Lan cut off Kirk. “Captain, I am here as a courtesy. It is not the intention of this delegation to engage in endless socialization with you, your crew, or the opposing delegation. We have serious matters to attend to. This Commission -”
“The Planetary Policy Appeals Commission…,” Chekov broke in.
“Yes, thank you…,” replied T’Lan.
“Ensign Pavel Chekov at your service…”
“Thank you, Mr. Chekov… Captain, we consider the Planetary Policy Appeals Commission to be an abominable intrusion upon the rights of individual sovereign governments. It is inconceivable to us that the Federation would be able to dictate, from Earth, terms regarding the very foundation of Vulcan society,” T’Lan said firmly.
“T’Lan, the Federation has never had a spirit of dictating terms to member governments. Why, in the long history of the Federation -”
“There has never been a time when a founding member was considering leaving the Federation. Vulcan survived thousands of years before the Federation. It can doubtless survive thousands more without the Federation. Can the Federation survive without Vulcan?”
Kirk didn’t have a stock answer prepared, and was glad Mr. Chekov chose to speak. “I’m sure the Captain is aware of the gravity of the situation. It is similar to a time in Earth’s history when my mother country, Russia, quite rightly, threatened to leave the European Union over arbitrary dictates that impacted upon the stability of sovereign Russian society.”
“Indeed,” said T’Lan. “How did the situation resolve itself, Mr. Chekov?”
“Well, the importance of Russia could not be denied. Russia maintained the principals of individual sovereignty, while negotiating an acceptable compromise; no doubt saving the entire European Union from collapse,” replied Chekov.
“A most logical historical analogy with the current crisis…”
“Thank you,” said Chekov. “Mr. Spock often compliments me on my powers of logic. If I had a credit for each time Mr. Spock has said to me, ‘That is a flawless example of a logical conclusion,’ I would be a very wealthy man.”
“Which is why I’ve decided to have Mr. Chekov work with you for the remainder of our journey to Earth. With his powers of logic, you two working together could create another historic compromise. Mr. Chekov, you’re temporarily re-assigned, effective immediately,” spoke Kirk authoritatively.
“But Captain, my duty post?”
“I think we can hold down the fort without you for a few days. Now show T’Lan some of that famous logic while you learn the Vulcan position. Report to the Briefing Room at 1600 hours. That should give you two enough time to get acquainted.”
Chekov was already on his feet. “Perhaps we can finish your tour of the ship?”
“That would be agreeable,” came T’Lan’s quick reply. In a few moments they disappeared behind the doors of the turbolift.
Sulu immediately spoke. “Captain, with respect, Chekov doesn’t have much diplomatic experience. Is he the right man for the job?”
“You saw what happened, Sulu. I had nothing. The Federation was withering on the vine. Is my youngest officer the right man for the job? He’s got to be… he’s got to be.”
Dr. McCoy was justifiably proud of his Sick Bay, and did a proper job of showing it off. Now he conducted his guests into the empty of patients hospital ward area.
“Your medical laboratories have a most impressive array of scientific equipment, Doctor,” said Salec. “But what is the healing philosophy behind your medicine?”
“That’s an interesting question coming from a Vulcan. Mr. Spock finds the scientific aspects of medicine most worthy of discussion. I must say, I find the smiling faces of you, and your associates, refreshing. Spock maintains a disdain for outward displays of emotion.”
“A most perceptive comment, Doctor,” said Salec. “We Vulcans are capable of, and do feel the same emotions as humans. But, the archaic, and dare I say, illogical attitude prevalent in our wider culture has the poor populace of Vulcan continually wringing emotions from their consciousness, like unwelcome intruders into the sanctity of their homes. A culture deprived of emotional awareness is a culture starved of information, and knowledge. That is what the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society seeks to change.”
“You’ll get no argument from me on the value of emotions,” said the doctor.
“Nor I,” said Nurse Chapel as she rejoined the group, and the discussion. “But, Salec, I’ve made a study of Vulcan culture. I can’t imagine you’re making much headway against centuries of logic as the only consideration?”
“Ah, yes. But our once tiny group has seen exponential growth, as Vulcans starved for what it means to be truly Vulcan, flock to us,” Salec proudly stated. “Tell me Doctor, might the lovely Nurse Chapel accompany us on the remainder of our tour?”
“Why, yes,” replied the nurse. “It’s nice of you to notice. I do have a few more questions. You’re the Vulcan equivalent of a college professor, aren’t you?”
“I am. Our society first took root among my students.” He looked at his Vulcan companions. “Young minds can be fertile soil for obvious truths their elders refuse to face.”
Spock was learning the hard line stance T’Pau intended to maintain, as they stood facing each other in the well-appointed guest quarters.
“We will not negotiate with that mentally unbalanced charlatan,” she told him. “Spock, he opens a trail leading to the death of our civilization. The ordered minds of logic brought us out of the wasteland of emotional disorder, and are the foundation of all Vulcan accomplishment. Would thee have us scurry around like so many humans? The strength of the Vulcan mind needs the constant discipline of logic to maintain equilibrium. We are not humans.”
“Of that, I am well aware,” answered Spock. “But, it is illogical to assume that allowing this group to function will bring about a revolution of emotionalism in Vulcan society, leading to a permanent descent into barbarism.”
“Enough! They grow like a cancer. The healthy body destroys a cancer. The High Council will keep Vulcan healthy. Has life among the humans deranged thee, Spock?”
“Madame, I have devoted my life to the pursuit of logic. My shipmates, and my human ancestry have not altered that. I see no reason to be insulting.”
T’Lan requested that Chekov take her to a location not covered by standard tours of the starship. “My quarters are just down this way. But I warn you, they are nothing special,” said Chekov.
“But the private quarters of such a fine example of humanity do interest me, Mr. Chekov.”
“Here they are. Don’t forget to wipe your feet.”
The doors automatically admitted them, and closed behind them. T’Lan said, “Wipe my feet?”
“A joke. Please sit down.”
T’Lan’s eyes darted about as she took in some of the particulars of Chekov’s modest accommodations. She saw prints by Russian artists, a balalaika hanging on a wall and leather bound books by authors like Tolstoy, and Dostoyevsky. She chose the couch in Chekov’s sitting area, and motioned for Chekov to sit next to her. “Ah, humor. I’m afraid your jokes are wasted on me. The logic behind humor escapes me.”
“There must be more to Vulcan life than only logic.”
“A logical conclusion, Pavel. Like you, we Vulcans have art, music, literature and other diversions. But there is something about you that makes me think of physical pleasure.”
“Yes, physical pleasure.” With those words she began to kiss Chekov on the mouth with an urgent passion. He made no attempt to escape the arms that encircled his body, and used his own to draw T’Lan closer.
The whistling tone of a wall communicator sounded, and sounded again, before Chekov would leave T’Lan’s warm embrace, walk to the device, and answer. “Chekov here.”
“There you are, Chekov,” came the voice of Uhura. “Mr. Spock reports T’Pau insists that T’Lan join her immediately in her quarters.”
“Message received, Lieutenant. Chekov out.” He joined T’Lan again on the couch, took her hands in his, and said, “Maybe we can continue this discussion later?”
“Of that, you can be assured,” she replied.
The group of men from the senior staff were all seated, and ready for business at 1600 hours.
“Mr. Spock, the results of your shuttle diplomacy, report,” began Kirk.
“Disappointing, Captain. T’Pau remains unyielding in her stance toward the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society, and refuses to negotiate.”
“And Salec?” Kirk inquired.
“In our brief meeting he expressed profound disappointment in me, personally.”
“Salec had hoped I might serve as a role model to his followers, accounting for my mixed parentage, and living among a largely human population.”
“He thought you’d pick up some of our bad emotional habits,” Kirk finished for Spock.
“Fat chance of that,” said Dr. McCoy.
Kirk asked, “What have you got for us, Bones?”
“I was just down to see the Society members in one of the rec halls.”
“Well, it’s hardly Sodom and Gomorrah down there,” said the doctor. “Beyond the smiles, and congratulating each other warmly for winning at chess, I wonder how deeply they’re actually feeling their emotions?”
“A good question, Doctor,” said Spock. “It is possible that the Society members are more interested in rebelling against the norms of Vulcan culture, rather than reviving a discredited lifestyle, thousands of years out of date.”
“I don’t think they’re play acting, Spock,” Bones responded. “I think they need more experience expressing their emotions. Speaking from a human perspective, I think Salec’s arguments are well developed.”
“Perhaps borrowed from human criticism of Vulcan culture,” countered Spock.
“Salec seems passionate in his beliefs,” said Bones.
“Gentleman, may I remind you that the Enterprise is hurtling through space, at warp speed, toward an uncertain future for the entire Federation? Let’s assume the Society members are sincere, and move on,” said Kirk. “Do either of you have any good news to report?”
“Nurse Chapel has struck up a friendship with Salec,” said Bones.
“That could work in our favor, Captain,” said Spock. “Nurse Chapel has familiarized herself with Vulcan customs. With all his seeming openness, Salec has a reputation as a recluse. He is rarely among the general populace of Vulcan, preferring the company of a handful of his early followers.”
“Continue your analysis, Spock,” said Kirk.
“This is purely supposition, Captain. It seems likely that the Vulcan High Council has sent T’Pau to gather further information on the enigmatic Salec.”
“And her reluctance to even meet with her quarry?”
“Deception, Captain. I suspect each side is avoiding the negotiating table until it can find a new vulnerability in the other. It seems a foregone conclusion that the Federation Planetary Policy Appeals Commission will rule in favor of the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society. The ideals of individual liberty are clearly established in the Federation Charter. A ruling in favor of the Society could lead to Vulcan withdrawing from the Federation… unlikely. It appears equally unlikely Salec wants a ruling that will be negated by a Vulcan withdrawal from the Federation.”
“So, it’s your theory that both sides would be willing to compromise if we could get negotiations started?”
“And that both sides wish to remain aloof, so as not to weaken their negotiating position. You will note Salec has made no move to open negotiations, although he states he is ready for them. I have already stated T’Pau’s stance.”
Chekov inquired, “Why would not Salec wait until a favorable decision from the Commission has been made, and call the bluff of the High Council?”
“Because he can’t afford to take the chance of being blamed for causing Vulcan to withdraw from the Federation, and the real disruption to Vulcan society that would follow, totally discrediting their cause,” answered Kirk.
“Exactly, Captain,” said Spock.
Scotty spoke, “What about the threat to Vulcan culture that the Society poses?”
“Overblown,” said Spock. “While exact figures are unavailable, my recent indirect analysis of the situation reveals that all disaffected Vulcans who want to join the Society have already done so. Knowledge of the existence of the organization is widespread among the Vulcan population.”
Sulu asked, “What reason would T’Pau have for entering negotiations now, before the ruling?”
“Doubtless the High Council does not want to be in a position of backing down from its stated probable intention of leaving the Federation if its sovereignty comes into question,” said Spock. “The wild card in this situation, to follow Mr. Chekov’s earlier analogy, is that T’Pau has enough power, and influence, to negotiate for the High Council, or even to leave the Federation, without further consultation with the High Council on Vulcan. Salec must also be aware of this fact.”
“Then it’s in all our best interests to get negotiations started as soon as possible, which is what I’ve wanted from the beginning,” said Kirk. “I’ll impress upon Nurse Chapel the urgency of opening negotiations. We’re dealing with guesswork here. I’ll be much happier once negotiations have concluded. Mr. Chekov, we haven’t heard your report. How are relations between you, and T’Lan?”
“Relations are good, Captain.”
“What have you learned of the Vulcan position?”
“I am still unclear about the finer points, Captain,” said Chekov. “Rest assured I will be on top of the Vulcan position upon my next meeting with T’Lan.”
“I want both sides at the negotiating table tomorrow morning, Mr. Chekov. You’ve got to convince T’Lan to get T’Pau to be there. I’ll issue formal invitations.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem for Mr. Chekov, Captain,” said Sulu. “He seems pretty popular with the Vulcan ladies.”
“Yes, sir. I saw him talking with the woman from the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society.”
“I was merely giving directions to the entire party,” said Chekov.
“She didn’t seem in any hurry to leave once she got them,” Sulu said with a smile.
“StarFleet’s orders are to use every possible means of persuasion,” Kirk said as he met Mr. Chekov’s gaze. “Anything else, Mr. Sulu?”
“I’m glad I’m not Chekov.”
“I’m glad I’m not Nurse Chapel.”
This brought a round of laughter Kirk sought to suppress by bringing both hands up. “Gentleman, hurtling through space toward an uncertain future…”
Kirk went directly to Sick Bay to explain the situation to Nurse Chapel. “Let me get this straight, Captain,” she said. “You want me to exercise my influence over Salec, using any means necessary, to get him to the negotiating table?”
“That’s right, Christine… for the good of the Federation,” said Kirk.
“For the good of the Federation…” With that, she slapped Kirk hard across the face. “I signed aboard this ship as a nurse. I’m not an Orion slave girl! Now you get out of here, or I’ll have you brought up on sexual harassment charges. With your reputation, you’ll be at a distinct disadvantage, let me tell you.”
“But, Christine, I never suggested-” Kirk sputtered.
Soon after, in Kirk’s quarters, he met with his friends. “The nerve of that woman. I never meant to suggest any sexual-”
Spock interrupted, “Didn’t you, Captain?”
“If she read something into my suggestion, for the good of the Federation, that’s her problem,” Kirk continued. “Maybe some of Sulu’s roses?”
“Better let it go, Jim,” said the doctor. “I’ve seen her get like this before.”
“Do tell, Bones.”
“Very funny,” he replied. “She’s got a quick temper. She’ll settle down if you stay out of Sick Bay.”
“The idea that I’d use my crew-”
Spock said, “Didn’t you suggest a sexual dalliance to Mr. Chekov in the Briefing Room?”
“That was a joke,” replied Kirk.
“Indeed,” said Spock.
“I don’t know, Jim,” said Bones. “The boy looks up to you, and with your reputation-”
Kirk became indignant. “What about my reputation?”
“Jim, you end up with a girl in every port.”
“Well, Doctor, I’ll have you know, I go into these relationships with every intention of doing right by these women… eventually. Maybe I’d better have a talk with Chekov?”
“Unwise, Captain,” said Spock. “Since Vulcan women appear to find Mr. Chekov… pleasing… it might be better to let him carry out StarFleet’s orders as he sees fit. We do not seem to carry any other influence with T’Pau.”
“That still leaves Salec,” said the captain. “I don’t like this at all. I feel so removed from the action.”
Spock had a suggestion. “Perhaps if you offered your body to Salec…”
Bones rolled his eyes upward, but remained silent.
“That wouldn’t be my first choice,” replied Kirk.
Outside Chekov’s quarters, T’Lan tentatively approached the doors to knock. The doors opened automatically as she neared. “Pavel?” She entered, and the doors closed behind her. “Pavel, I am here.” Hearing no response, she was about to leave when she noticed the glow of a computer screen that Chekov had left on accidently. Curiosity compelled T’Lan to walk over, and examine the contents of the screen. She read aloud, “The Passionate Vulcan… An Erotic Novella About the Secret Desires of the Vulcan Female…” This interested her enough to sit, and read for a time. Then she turned off the screen, and got up.
T’Lan found a mirror hung over the dresser in Chekov’s bedroom. She studied her appearance. Her long, dark hair was pulled up, and back, held in place by a large silver clip. This she didn’t touch, nor the subtle cosmetics that further accented the high cheekbones, big eyes and full lips of her young looking face. Although she appeared to be Chekov’s age, she was likely older, considering that Vulcans age differently than humans.
In a few moments she removed the pretty knitted garment she wore over her drab dress, and stepped out of her dress. Then she pulled the knitted garment back on. She was content with the result. Her long legs were daringly exposed for a Vulcan, and the form fitting yarn seemed to amplify her womanly figure. It was an old trick, but she expected Chekov to like it.
She folded her dress, deposited it on Chekov’s dresser, and went to the sitting area to await his arrival. It wasn’t long. “Ah, Pavel,” she said. “I have been waiting for you. The doors opened automatically.”
“They do that,” he said. “Think nothing of it. I would keep my quarters unlocked all the time if I knew I would have such an exotic beauty waiting for me each time I returned.” Chekov joined T’Lan on the couch.
“You find me beautiful?”
“Oh, yes. I could not imagine a more erotic circumstance than being here alone with you.”
“Those are the exact words I wanted to hear,” she said as she gave herself to Chekov’s embrace. After a few minutes of heated caressing, and kissing, she said, “Tell me, Pavel, what do you know about satisfying the sexual desires of a Vulcan female?”
“Only what I read,” he replied.
“A scientific approach… most logical.” Then she got to her feet, and removed the silver clip from her hair. She shook it down, and it fell past her shoulders. Another old trick, but Pavel enjoyed it. “I think it is time to further your knowledge with some practical experience.”
Chekov didn’t need any more encouragement. He lifted T’Lan in his arms, and carried her to his bunk.
After they made love, T’Lan was the first to find her voice. “Oh, Pavel, such savage passion, and stamina. I was sure you were seeking release from the drives of pon farr!”
Chekov was sweating, and out of breath. He eventually managed a complete sentence. “I did not want to disappoint you with an ordinary human performance.”
“You have made me so happy,” said T’Lan.
“Pavel, you must take me again!”
“I must? How about if we talk for a little while first?”
“Take me now, Pavel, now,” she moaned.
“No, no, wait. There will be time for that, I promise,” he said. “We became so passionate, so quickly. I do not really know you. Tell me of your hopes, and dreams. Tell me about you.”
“Ah, I believe I understand. You want a more personal connection to me. You are not satisfied with the physical act alone. You are searching for an emotional attachment as well. Is this what humans call romance?”
“You could say that.”
“These dimensions of character you reveal to me are most pleasing,” she said.
“You said that you were happy. That is an emotional statement. I would not have expected that from you, T’Lan.”
“Perhaps I wanted to express satisfaction for your physical performance in a way that was familiar to you,” she replied.
“Perhaps. You still have not told me about yourself, T’Lan.”
“The romance again. You are persistent, Pavel. Please begin with yourself, so I may have an example to follow.”
“Well, as a StarFleet officer, I have my entire career ahead of me. Many in StarFleet spend their entire careers without being posted to a starship as grand as the Enterprise. I am fortunate. As for the future, who can say? Captain Chekov, Admiral Chekov… the future will take care of itself soon enough. For now, like you, I am happy.”
“You are right,” said T’Lan. “T’Pau would curse me for saying it, but I am happy. Even identifying an emotion we are experiencing is difficult for Vulcans. But, I am confident I am happy. It may not be proper to acknowledge emotion, yet I have done so. Being with you has exposed aspects of myself that I have suspected, but did not have clear evidence for previously. You have helped to give me a new resolve for the future. That, and your wonderful company, are reason enough for happiness.”
“You are very kind, T’Lan. You know, the Captain expects me to convince you to have T’Pau attend the negotiations?”
“Yes, I am aware. I do not expect your Captain to be disappointed.”
“As I said, you are very kind.”
“Is that the flush of pon farr rising within you, Pavel?”
Later, Chekov felt the need to visit Sick Bay. Nurse Chapel attended to him. “Feeling better, Pavel?”
“Yes, thank you, Christine.”
“The way you came in here, so exhausted, and with all those pulled muscles. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“To be perfectly honest, I had sexual relations with a Vulcan female. You know what that is like. The woman was pleased,” said Chekov.
“Of course she was. You’re a nice young man,” said Christine. “But, that doesn’t explain why you came in here as if you were in hand-to-hand combat with a Klingon.”
“You know… pon farr.”
“Pon farr happens to Vulcans, not Russians.”
“I was simulating the pon farr behavior of a Vulcan male, as the only way to satisfy the desires of a Vulcan female,” he explained.
“Vulcan females have needs similar to those of human females. They don’t require super human efforts to be satisfied,” she said.
“They do not?”
“You must have slept through your comparative sexuality class at the Academy,” said the nurse. “This woman must have been looking for some kind of peak experience, and took advantage of your lack of knowledge about Vulcan sexuality.” Christine scowled, “Did Captain Kirk give you the idea of sleeping with her?”
“No. This was my intension from the moment I saw her… even before.”
“I think you were looking for a peak experience yourself. Only, not so exhausting.”
Negotiations finally began in a small formal meeting room. Kirk was relieved, as he got the talks underway. “On behalf of StarFleet, and the United Federation of Planets, let me thank both sides for agreeing to attend these negotiations.”
T’Pau spoke, “Is that what thee call it, agreeing?”
“Yes, Captain, most disingenuous,” said Salec. “Sending your invitations through those thugs in red shirts armed with phasers, and having them escort us here…”
“Is that what happened? Let me apologize to you both,” said Kirk. “My Yeoman must have garbled my orders… a most inefficient fellow. I’d transfer him to other duties, but Admiral McCaughey assigned him to me, and you don’t cross her. That would be like offending you, Madame T’Pau. It’s just not done.”
“Indeed, Kirk,” she said. “We have decided that negotiations are unnecessary, and we can return to Vulcan. The High Council will lift the ban on the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society, and let each Vulcan make their own decision on the merits of joining the Society.”
“A logical decision considering the repercussions of the High Council’s own representative, T’Lan, joining our Society,” said Salec.
“Take care, Salec,” said T’Pau. “We may still reverse our decision.”
“Madame T’Pau, it’s obvious you’ve given this decision the proper logical consideration,” said Kirk. “Surely one remark doesn’t negate that logic.”
“A reasonable statement, Kirk,” said T’Pau. “Spock, thee are a good influence on thy Captain.”
“Thank you, T’Pau,” Spock replied.
T’Lan spoke with Chekov, in the Transporter Room, prior to leaving the ship. Chekov said, “Then you had always planned to join the Society?”
“I saw it as a possibility,” said T’Lan. “Spending time with you brought my emotions to the center of my attention at last. I knew I could never go back to my unemotional self. I always knew I would have to meet with Salec himself to join the Society. My former position as assistant to T’Pau raised many questions.”
“You have left government service?”
“Yes. As a representative of the High Council, joining the Society sent the issue of the banning into utter turmoil. T’Pau had little choice but to lift the ban. T’Pau has no place on her staff for the woman who guaranteed the government will no longer persecute the Vulcan Emotional Freedom Society.”
“It is obvious you have embraced emotion,” he said. “Why the deception about us, and pon farr?”
“Oh, you have discovered that,” she said. “I confess I saw the fanciful erotic novella in your quarters. I have never been taken by a Vulcan during pon farr. Like humans, we Vulcans have sexual relations all the time.”
“Oh yes. I am having sex all the time.” Chekov spoke as a representative of all humanity. He thought it appropriate to stretch the truth.
“Sexuality is logical,” said T’Lan. “But, pon farr does not happen all the time. I saw an opportunity for something similar, pon farr with an emotional human!” She gave Chekov a hug, and saluted him in the Vulcan way. “Live long, and prosper, Pavel.” She took her place on the transporter pad.
T’Pau, and Spock entered the Transporter Room as T’Lan dematerialized. When Mr. Chekov walked past T’Pau, she paused, and frowned noticeably.
Chekov later returned to duty on the Bridge. “Good to have you back, Mr. Chekov,” began Kirk.
“Thank you, sir.”
“I’m afraid I have some good news, and some bad news for you.”
“I will take the good news first.”
“Very well. Admiral McCaughey wants to pin a medal on you for distinguished service to the Federation.”
Chekov smiled. “That is a great honor, sir.”
“You haven’t heard the bad news. You’re not getting the medal. Mr. Spock will explain.”
“T’Pau was most upset by you as she was about to beam down to Vulcan, Mr. Chekov.”
“But, Mr. Spock, I did nothing,” protested Chekov.
“Perhaps not at that moment. She said you smelled like, what translates as a rutting pig, and you were full of outworlder treachery,” said Spock.
“I suppose a woman of her advanced years might be allowed an unkind racial remark,” said Chekov.
“Curious how Vulcan women react to you, Mr. Chekov,” Spock continued. “It is almost as if you are giving off the female attracting pheromone that Vulcan males exhibit during pon farr… or its powerful chemical equivalent. I understand there is a black market cologne available.”
“I would not know of such things,” said Chekov.
“Were we on Vulcan, there would be an investigation. Use of the pheromone cologne is a punishable offence,” said Spock. “I understand the odor of the cologne is almost undetectable, and the Vulcan female responds to it in a subliminal fashion. I suspect T’Pau’s long experience helped her detect the otherwise unnoticeable fragrance.”
“I admit nothing,” said Chekov firmly.
Kirk said, “But you can see why a medal is impossible?”
“Yes, sir,” Chekov spoke with resignation.
Uhura spoke up. “Captain, I’m not Vulcan, but I can smell him from here. I’m overwhelmed with desire. Make Chekov take a bath!”
“I have never been so insulted,” said Chekov. “Russia introduced the ancient Romans to bathing. Why, at the Academy, they used to pound on the door of the sonic shower telling me to save some sound waves for the others.”
Everyone laughed, but Spock, and a very aggrieved Chekov.
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