Past:
I was born into this strange world that isn’t worth much. I was born in Montgomery, Alabama. It wasn’t long into my life when I had to face travesty and despair. The death of my grandmother, then the death of my father and finally the death of my other grandmother….This all happening in a 6 month span. This event in my life has had the largest effect on my life. I have grown up without family other than my mom I became distant to a lot of people. I didn’t much feel like dealing with friends or anyone to that sort. It took a long time to feel normal again, it was like feeling lost but knowing exactly where you are and being unable to get what you need. After a long time getting back into the way of things, my mom and I moved to my hometown of Winfield, Alabama. At this point I was quiet and distant from everyone. My teacher hated me, I was just one of her least favorite students and she treated me horribly. She would go out of her way to get me in trouble, but I made it through then and then eventually I moved on. As time moves I reach 7th grade I had acquaintances at school, but nothing I would consider a friend. That year I decided to join the band, this was the spiral into the best part of my life as of yet. When I joined that I slowly talked to more people and getting closer to them, but to no avail I didn’t have a real friend. It wasn’t until 9th grade year that I felt I had finally made friends, Josh and Ren the names of my friends. It was a good year the second best of my life. Now forward to the best year of my life so far sophomore year, this year I was happiest I’ve been and I had met my current girlfriend and I had even more friends. That year was also the one I went to universal. Then finally the travesty of my life. Moving to the state of Colorado going to Mitchell, this would start a whole new lifestyle for me and I didn’t, and still don’t like it. To the present.
Yeah people die, not fun usually… This is a fact of life, we all die and we can’t do anything about our inevitable fate. But most people will face the death of a family member by the time they are sixteen. Statistics say that 87% will face this. To deal with this people grieve in weird ways. Some people will deal with it by crying and being distant, some will resort to alcohol and drugs, some cut, kill themselves. Everyone does it different.
The Present:
I’m still at Mitchell doing my thing trying to get by. I personally hate Colorado, It’s an insufferable state. The snow, the cold all of it, just dreary and unwelcoming. As a person of the southern. But recently my cousin last week overdosed and died. After being on life support for a few days but have little to no brain activity she needed a miracle, but didn’t get one. This time was difficult at first. I know her too well, but she was still family. Me personally I didn’t grieve because I didn’t really know her. It’s not as if I didn’t care but more of the fact that I don’t feel as though I am worthy or I have a real reason to be. She had a daughter and a son and I haven’t much seen them seen them since her death but I have asked about it. You see they have plenty reason to grieve…I’m not sure if they did Well the daughter mostly did but the son I think he is in his own world rejecting the fact that she died Obviously I don’t know for sure but In my honest opinion I feel it would be more than likely that they reject the fact that they lost a parent I mean Everyone has a different way of grieving maybe they did something completely different way of doing it…Maybe I was spot on. Recently I learned that the daughter is most definitely doing worse she took it very hard and has plenty reason to also. While the son, he has a mental issue so people bought him an Xbox and games play on it….He isn’t doing bad, but I mean obviously he is having a few hiccups, but other than that he is happy with it, he was bought off and thus delaying his griefs? Maybe he feels completely different on the inside, but he’d just a kid he can’t do something so elaborate. Right?
Research
100% of people grieve differently, the reason is, is because every person has a different connection with the person they lost and they have different feelings in the moment. A lot of people will say they are okay but inside they are lost and sad but they are actually just rejecting the fact the person they cared about is gone forever. This was estimated for up to 1 in 17 people will reject the loss of a loved one.
Future
Obviously in my lifetime I will lose a lot of people. Life is about choices and what you do with it right? Well in the end does it really matter because you can do everything in your life right but you will still get health issues or something like that? So knowing you can do everything right you could still get problems. Then my questions is why does do things right even matter. Right now a lot of my direct family has health issues, some even have a death sentence…That meaning they have a health issue. It is a depressing live we live knowing we are going to lose people we care about. I feel that one of the scariest things is that one day you will outlive your partner and the grief of a loss like that at an old age like that would be the death of me. I’m usually patient with people and I try to keep how I feel a little on the inside. I have a fear of death whether it’s me or someone I love…The thought of losing someone or dying myself scares me infinitely. Though life itself is a question? This question that many people life is just WHY? Why do any of this? In life you are always in a constant state of loss…you are born and make childhood friends, then you lose those friends, then you move to middle/high school and make friends there just to move to college and lose them, then to college you make new friends, after that you start a life, losing those friends… somewhere along the way you might meet someone and have kids or something and then your kids leave you and then all along this way you lose your family until you lose and die. That is just plainly depressing, all this loss in your life and in your future, most will hear this and not acknowledge the truth to this statement, but one day they will meet death and look back on life and realize all this loss. The best part is, that you can’t do anything about this… absolutely nothing…utterly depressing. But you have to make the most of life as it is because you are reasonably stuck here.
A study shows that in one’s life on average they will lose 7 people to death, and 23 friends and people you will care about to no communication and life’s infinite cycle of loss.