TRYING TO GET OVER YOU
By: Lauren Taylor
B’Elanna was standing at the end of the corridor, silently, not
saying a word. Tom had to get to her, fast. He ran down the corridor, but
B’Elanna seemed to get further and further away with each step he took.
Finally, he was to her, and he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting
to let go, never, never…
Tom sat up in bed, hot and sweating. This was around the
twentieth dream he’d had about B’Elanna since she died six months ago. It
was getting harder and harder to get through each day without her. His
friends had tried to help him, but it was no use. He felt that, if
B’Elanna was dead, he might as well be dead, too. He wrapped the blankets
tighter around him, and layed back down in bed, only to be forced to get
up by his door chimes.
He staggered to the door, slowly, for he was still half-asleep.
He pressed a button on the panel beside the door, and saw that Harry was
on the other side, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and shorts.
“Are you coming to the luau?” Harry asked him, eying Tom’s matted hair,
and wrinkled clothes that he hadn’t bothered to change out of before
going to bed.
“Does it look like I’m going to a luau?” Tom snapped.
“So, let me guess. You’re going to stay in your quarters all night until
your duty shift comes up again?” Harry asked, annoyed.
“What does it matter?” Tom brushed it off as he walked back to his
bedroom.
“It matters a hell of a lot more than you think it does!” Harry yelled,
starting in behind Tom, “Face it, Tom, all you’ve done since B’Elanna
died is sit in your quarters, biting off anyone’s head that even says a
word to you. You’re not the only one who lost someone special! B’Elanna
was my friend, too, and not a day goes by when I don’t think about how
much I miss her, and wish she was still here. But I’ve moved on with my
life, and you should, too. It’s been six months! Don’t you think it’s
time to just pick up the pieces and accept the fact that she isn’t coming
back?”
“I don’t care if it’s been six months or six years! Point is, she’s still
gone and there’s nothing I can do about it! So, why don’t you and
everyone else on this goddamn ship just leave me the hell alone!” Tom
screamed, and then turned back around, walked into his bedroom, and shut
the door.
***********************************************
I’ve been tryin’ to get over you
I’ve been spendin’ time alone
I’ve been tryin’ to get over you
But it’ll take dyin’ to get it done
“Tryin’ To Get Over You” Vince Gill
***********************************************
Kathryn Janeway looked up when she saw the young ensign walk onto
the holodeck, alone. She gave Chakotay a devastated look, and turned back
to Harry, who seemed in shock.
“He’s not coming. I tried to talk to him, but he won’t listen. He’s just
going to hide out in his quarters like he does every night.” Harry
explained, remorseful.
Janeway gave him a sympathetic smile, and explained to him that
he triend everything he could. She knew how it felt to lose someone you
love. After her fiancee, Justin, was killed, she acted pretty much the
same way Tom had been acting. She had told Tom that story, but nothing
could bring him out of the mood he’d been in for the last six months. She
was almost beginning to accept the fact that they would never get Tom
Paris back, not as long as B’Elanna was gone. The only way he would cheer
up is for B’Elanna to somehow miraculously appear, which she knew was
impossible.
**********************************************
That was the first and last luau they went to. B’Elanna looked so
beautiful that night, in that long, flowered dress. God, how he had
wanted to kiss her that night, tell her that he loved her, anything. If
only he’d said how he truly felt about her. But it was too late. She
would never be back, never would know that he loved her. He wanted her
back more than anything. She died not knowing what he thought of her,
that she meant everything to her, that he would give his life for her.
Everyday since her death, he yelled at himself for not being there in
engineering, to push her out of the way of the console…