Lieutenant’s Personal Log, Star Date 2431.15
I’ve been here for a little over a month now on the Enterprise, and needless to say, it has been quite a journey. Things I had anticipated, or hoped for, have not gone according to plan. Apparently, things on a major starship are just as they are on the planets. You’d think being on a dignified vessel would change people’s attitudes or behaviors, but alas, nothing is different.
As the record shows, I am one of the youngest graduates from Starfleet in their entire history. I graduated with top honors and record scores. I was practically given my own ship if I had chosen to take it. Being a captain is not something I would want to pursue. I recognize that Starfleet’s goals are to train people and promote them to the highest rankings of succession. I, on the other hand, have no interest in power or authority over people. I am only interested in power or knowledge over machines. I yearn to manipulate them and improve them beyond previous capabilities. Maybe this is why Captain Picard and I get along so well. He has commanded this vessel longer than most captains serve period. Captain Picard’s thirst for discovery, whether personal or professional, outweighs any ambition Starfleet has for him.
Because of my thirst and above average knowledge of the engineering department and holodecks, I seem to have alienated myself from most of my peers. My guess is they are intimidated by me, threatened by me, or jealous of me. This is in no way a boast by any means, but only an astute observation. I find that most of the crew avoids me, makes very little conversation with me, or fails to invite me to any recreational event. Albeit, I was used to this at the academy. I just hoped it would be different here. On the other hand, the only crewman who has not treated me differently is Lt. Cmdr Data. Naturally, since he is an android, he shows no favoritism or preference to certain humans, although his regard of me, instead disregard, is quite a comfort. Even though you spend 24/7 with over 1000 people, you can still be lonely.
[end log]
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Lieutenant’s Personal Log, Star Date 2455.5
I am thankful things have changed a little around here, alas only if it is a little. I was sitting in Ten Forward yesterday when the eccentric bartender, Guinan, approached me. She’s a very inquisitive lady…or as some might say, nosy. Maybe it’s her lengthy age, but she has a way about her that makes her a good listener. Honestly, other than Lt. Cmdr Data, she has been the only one here to simply ask me how I was doing. Most of the time, people approach me about personal programming for the holodecks. It’s amazing to see how many people visit the holodecks more than once a day…as an objective sidenote. She has a way of getting you to spill your guts, and it was quite liberating. I have the utmost respect and admiration for Counselor Troi, but Guinan has a way about her that would make her the ultimate counselor. She should apply if Counselor Troi ever leaves. She asked me a puzzling question yesterday. Since I’m always helping people with the holodecks or Lt. Cmdr La Forge in engineering, do I ever get time to myself? I felt a little ashamed, because I couldn’t answer her question. My job is my passion. Anything else out of that is a distraction. She told me that instead of helping others for once, I should create a list of programs for myself…to enjoy. Not to test.
I’ve always gone with my two favorites, Tolkien and Shakespeare programs, but Guinan challenged me to get out of my comfort zone. In fact, Lt Cmdr Data approached me the same day and asked me the same question. I am making it a note to ask Guinan if she put him up to that. Lt Cmdr Data offered, that even though Sherlock Holmes was his favorite, he did reach out and attempted new programs. It’s odd to me, that an artificial life-form would desire, wish, or take risks in their decisions. Data fascinates me the more I get to know him.
Today, I picked a program out of my comfort zone. I couldn’t pick the meekness of Bilbo Baggins, or Viola, pretending to be someone she wants to be. I decided to go with Robin of Locksley…yes, Robin Hood. Honestly, it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Having a physically demanding role, much less one of utmost courage and gall was quite different. Standing there in the middle of Sherwood Forest listening to the trees move in the wind and the leaves rustle at my feet gave me such a feeling of freedom.
Needless to say, I am excited to divulge my findings to Guinan and Lt Cmdr Data. In fact, I may ask Lt Cmdr Data to participate on my next act of pillage upon the rich or maybe even let him play the Sheriff of Nottingham.
[end log]
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Lieutenant’s Personal Log, Star Date 2479.75
Today my family has suffered a great loss. My older brother, Daniel, was killed in the line of duty against a Romulan warship. He was trying to protect the life of another crewman. I am deeply saddened by my brother’s death, but I am at a loss on how to express it. Most of my youth was spent in school, so I didn’t get to know my brother very well. My brother was not the student I was, but he was a leader and a great tactical officer. Qualities I think I will never be capable of. Counselor Troi tried her best to console me, but because I expect that kind of behavior from her, it’s hard to see it as sincere. On the other hand, Lt Cmdr Data never ceases to surprise me. I’m beginning to think he is more human than any one on this ship.
I was sitting in Ten Forward in a corner crying, but not sobbing. I assume my attempt at grief was coming across as alarming, if not awkward, so Lt Cmdr Data sat down in front of me and inquired about my discomfort. I have come to terms that Data is my only friend on this vessel, even though is my superior officer and an android, he has filled all the duties that a friend would fill. He expressed his condolences and proceeded to tell me that he, too, had lost a brother. I’ll admit, this floored me. I didn’t think androids could have a sense of family, but after Data explained to me the story of his brother Lore, it hit me that Data and I aren’t so different after all. Lore was a stranger to Data as was Daniel to me. Although Daniel was a man of honor and valor, Lore was quite the opposite. I asked Data if he was sad or something close to that effect, and all he could say was not used to Lore and he could not experience loss like myself. That didn’t make me feel better, but I know Data was only trying to help. Mere attempt by Data was still comforting though. But this was not what baffled me. Data took it upon himself to get up, walk over to me, and hug me. Even though it wasn’t human contact or a warm hug like you would receive from a parent, it felt just as good. I wish I could commend Dr. Soong for his brilliance for his creation of Data.
Does it make me strange that I find comfort from a machine? Is it odd that a machine is the only friend I have?
[end log]
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Lieutenant’s Personal Log, Star Date 2507.75
When you sign up for Starfleet, you take the risk of either a peaceful mission and/or a violent one. I figured my odds on the Enterprise would be hit or miss for either situation. I have been on this starship for a year now, and I’ve been in very few skirmishes or combat. Four days ago, I was faced with my own mortality against the enemy face to face.
The Romulans managed to hijack the Enterprise and take the senior officers hostage. At one point, Lt Cmdr Data and I were devising a plan to rescue them but were confronted and out-manned by a group of Romulans patrolling the ship. They decided to use Data as a bargaining chip to get Captain Picard to release operating codes to the master computer. Their idea was to use Lt Cmdr Data as an android in a human situation. They threatened to fire upon him and disassemble his body for study. I know Captain Picard, and if I had been in his shoes, I would’ve let the Romulans destroy him. Sacrifice one for the good of the many. I, on the other hand, am not Captain Picard. Letting the Romulans get a hold of Starfleet technology and information could be more dangerous than we could imagine.
The Romulan went to fire upon Data with his weapon after Captain Picard refused to relinquish control. Seeing the possible loss of my friend and fellow crewman, without any hesitation or second thought, I stepped in front of Lt Cmdr Data. I’m not really sure what my thoughts were other than to protect my friend. I remember screaming “Don’t kill him! Don’t shoot!” I shielded Data as best as I could and hoped my body was big enough to deflect it from him. The Romulan froze in his tracks. It must have been his Vulcan side that took over. A perplexed look came across his face, and he lowered his weapon. Seeing my opportunity to get the upper hand, I lunged at him, acquired his weapon, and reversed the situation. We shortly regained control over the ship, and transported the Romulans to a starbase for detainment.
I was later questioned, even reprimanded for throwing caution to the wind and jeopardizing my life, by Captain Picard. He could not understand why I would sacrifice my life for Lt Cmdr Data’s. Since he is only a machine, he could be repaired or replaced. I felt it unfair that Lt Cmdr Data was in the room with us, but I felt it necessary to speak my peace. I told Captain Picard that when I see Lt Cmdr Data, I don’t see an android. I see a friend. I asked him why it was so different for me to fight for him in the physical sense as he had done for Data’s status of ownership. Captain Picard had seen Data, not as Starfleet property, but as a serving officer of a federation. I saw Data as a fellow crewmate and wanted no harm to come to him. Why is it so hard to explain why you would lay down your life for a friend? I don’t care if he is an android. He has been better to me than any one person on this vessel. The look on Captain Picard’s face was one for the record books. The man is rarely wrong, and in this instance, he knew he was. He sighed, smiled, and put his hand on my shoulder. He thanked me for my service and valor towards the ship and the crew. This must have been what my brother would’ve felt…a sense of pride and servitude.
Lt Cmdr Data, on the other hand, has seemed to have blown his circuits. He finds it intriguing that a human would sacrifice themselves for him. He does not see the logic behind it. In fact, he told me I was foolish and not to throw my life and career away. I just simply laughed at him, God knows he makes me laugh a lot and makes me aware of stuff I take for granted as being a human. He has not been the same to me since that day. He takes it upon himself to help me with more things, or ask if there is something he can do for me, or just act non-Datalike. It’s almost like he’s grateful. Maybe my act of sacrifice was the most human thing anyone’s ever done for him.
Can android’s be thankful?
[end log]