Expose

************************************************************

\”Expose\”

************************************************************

(Emmy Odd@aol.com)

************************************************************

\”And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free.\”
John 8:32

************************************************************

Kes sat, eyes closed, hands clasped in a childish attitude.
Tuvok\’s bland voice pierced her cloudy subconcious. \”All right,
Kes, breathe deeply. Focus your mind on this.\” he said, handing
her a thin chain of silver. \”What do you see?\”

Kes concentrated hard. A light shone through her mind, and
then it darkened. She had a sudden intake of breath, and she
shook her head. \”Nothing. I\’m just no good at this.\”

Tuvok sighed. \”You\’re tired, Kes. The dark circles under
your eyes suggest little sleep. The logical mind-clearer would
be to sleep.\”

Kes smiled wanly as she stood up. \”But I promised the
Doctor I\’d help him after this…\”

Tuvok shook his head, waving her out of the room.

************************************************************

Kes was still in a daze as she headed to Sick Bay.
Suddenly she ran into someone. A flood of light filled her eyes,
and she saw B\’Elanna and Chakotay locked in an embrace in
Engineering, and saw the alien who had controlled their minds.
She witnessed B\’Elanna\’s vision as acutely as Torres herself.
She blinked her eyes open once again, to see the Chief Engineer
helping her up. \”Sorry, I…\” started Torres, but Kes had
already run.

************************************************************

Kes timidly knocked on Janeway\’s Ready Room door, jarring
her from her logs and paperwork. She waved the Ocampa inside,
smiling. \”What can I do for you, Kes?\”

\”Captain, my telepathic powers have increased…
strangely.\” faltered Kes.

\”In what way?\” said Janeway, standing up.

\”I… saw a crewman vision… and I don\’t know if I should
tell you.\” said Kes, looking around nervously.

\”Well, if it\’s in the best interest of the crew, you should
tell me.\”

\”I… don\’t know, Captain! I just need to tell someone,
and I\’m afraid Neelix and Tom just wouldn\’t understand!\” cried
Kes.

\”You can trust me, Kes.\” said Janeway maternally.

The Ocampa shivered, curling herself into a nearby chair.
\”It\’s about… B\’Elanna.\”

Janeway sighed, sinking into her chair. * Mutiny and
rebellion *, she thought wearily. \”I don\’t know if I should hear
this, Kes.\”

Kes shivered. \”You\’re probably right, Captain. If you
want to, I\’ll come back later.\”

But Janeway, lost in thought, did not hear Kes\’s words, or
her silent exit. A hundred ideas plauged her… what thought of
B\’Elanna\’s would upset Kes so much?? There was only one person
who might have an idea… She tapped her comm badge, \”Janeway to
Chakotay.\”

************************************************************

Chakotay found Janeway in her Ready Room, staring out the
huge windows into endless space. He smiled at the commanding
picture she made against the infinite darkness. The smile soon
faded as she turned around, and he saw her haggard expression.
She shook her head mournfully. \”Kes\’s telepathic abilities have
increased.\”

Chakotay looked puzzled. \”Why is that bad, Kathryn?
Tuvok\’s been working for months with her to heighten her
abilities! Isn\’t that good?\”

Janeway looked sorrowfully at him. \”She saw someone\’s
vision, and was very upset.\”

Chakotay eyed her. \”Who?\”

\”B\’Elanna…\”

\”B\’ELANNA?!?!\”

\”Yes… I didn\’t ask what she saw… I wanted to talk to
you first.\”

Chakotay paced the room like a caged tiger. \”What is there
to talk about?\”

Janeway ran her hand through her hair worriedly. \”Should
we…?\”

\”… ask Kes to tell you what B\’Elanna thought?\” Chakotay
said chokedly. \”I can\’t tell you what to do, not when it\’s about
B\’Elanna.\”

Janeway stood up, clenching her fists. \”Why? Because
she\’s a Maquis? Because you want her to harbour mutinous
thoughts? Do you want her to take over the ship so you can take
over?\” she said bitingly.

Chakotay couldn\’t take anymore. \”Dammit, Kathryn, I don\’t
want the ship! I don\’t want the Maquis in charge of this ship!
And I don\’t want to protect her because she\’s a Maquis! I just
think that her thoughts are her own!\”

Janeway stepped back, overcome by Chakotay\’s forcefulness.
\”I\’m… sorry, Chakotay. I didn\’t mean to imply… my emotions
just…\”

Chakotay\’s expression softened at Janeway\’s hazed look as
her tounge fumbled to apologize. \”I understand, Kathryn, but
it\’s just not my place to say. I suppose her thoughts aren\’t her
own now that Kes has read them, even by accident. But the
question is: should Kes tell you about them?\”

\”I don\’t know, Chakotay. What if…?\”

Chakotay looked away. \”Then I guess it\’s best we know,
isn\’t it?\” he said hoarsely.

\”I\’ll talk to Kes…\” murmured Janeway abstractly, but no
one, not even herself, heard her.

************************************************************

Kes came into Janeway\’s Ready Room a few minutes later, the
time between Chakotay\’s departure and Kes\’s entrance Janeway
spent pacing the room frantically. She looked up at the timid
creature, whispering, \”Tell me, Kes.\” like a awed child.

Kes had practiced for an hour exactly how to say the
horrible words to the Captain, and began, \”You remember how our
minds were possessed by aliens once?\”

Janeway nodded reminicently, a vauge chill from the memory
sweeping over her. \”Yes, I remember.\”

Kes tried to keep up the air of calm, but she broke down at
the look on Janeway\’s eyes. Her body racked with sobs as she
sputtered, \”I saw B\’Elanna… right before she was possessed…
then she…\”

\”What, Kes? I must know!\” Janeway said, grabbing Kes\’s
arms.

\”She… and Chakotay… in her quarters…\” she moaned, but
it was not her moan, it was the aching, pain-ridden moan issuing
from the Captain that flooded Kes\’s ears at that moment. Janeway
fell back into her chair, releasing her grip on Kes\’s arms, and
covering her face with her hands. Kes\’s heart went out to the
Captain, and she fled from the room.

She ran from the room blindly, hitting a solid object as
she rushed, frightened by Janeway\’s reaction. The solid object
helped the elfin Ocampa to her feet. She blinked the tears from
her eyes, and, seeing the tattooed face of the Commander, spun
around, afraid. Chakotay furrowed his brow, and hurried to
Janeway\’s Ready Room, fearing the worst. But sabatours and
rebellion could never have shaken Janeway like what Kes\’s eyes
had revealed to the Captain.

Chakotay found Janeway on the floor of her Ready Room,
hugging her knees fiercely and shaking. She felt a warm arm
across her shoulders, and she saw Chakotay\’s fearful gaze, and a
new wave of hopelessness fell over her. Chakotay shook his head
grimly. \”So she wants your overthow, Kathryn.\”

The bright head came up to look at Chakotay, the saltwater
still dripping from her lashes. \”Not in the way you mean,
Chakotay. She…\”

\”What?\”

Janeway breathed deeply, as if it was her last. \”When the
alien brought our hidden fears and fantasies to life… we all
thought up some strange things, things we wouldn\’t want anyone to
know.\”

Chakotay nodded knowingly. \”And…?\”

\”B\’Elanna had a fantasy which was so strong that Kes saw it
as if she was inside her head.\”

Chakotay couldn\’t stand the speculation. \”AND…??\”

\”And it was about… you… seducing her…\”

Chakotay jumped to his feet. \”ME?!?! Why me???\” he cried.

Janeway hugged her knees again. \”How should I know, or
Kes, or anyone. Only B\’Elanna knows, and when she mentioned it
to me, not telling me WHAT she envisioned, she was as confused as
we are. But you are friends, and no one can accuse you of
unattractiveness.\”

Chakotay sighed, not hearing Janeway\’s obvious compliment,
which he normally reveled in, it being so rare. \”This
complicates things even more… why?\”

Janeway shook her head. \”It was a subconcious thing, after
all, Chakotay. She can\’t help it.\”

\”But now that it\’s out…\”

Janeway put her hand on his shoulder. \”I don\’t know what
to say to encourage you, but something must be done.\”

Chakotay started to walk towards the door, then was
arrested by a sudden thought. \”You don\’t think that B\’Elanna
might do something…?\”

Janeway shook her head. \”Klingons have a high sense of
honor, Chakotay.\”

\”Maquis half – Klingons, Kathryn?\” said Chakotay poignantly
as he left the room.

************************************************************

Janeway was in her quarters when Chakotay entered the room
with B\’Elanna. Chakotay smiled with the wonderful dark smile he
always saved for her… but now he smiled at B\’Elanna. He looked
at Janeway as if he looked at a lower lifeform. \”I love
B\’Elanna, as I always have, and we\’re taking over the ship!\” he
laughed mockingly, aiming a phaser at her.

\”NO!!\” Janeway screamed, and she sat up in her bed, her
brow drenched in cold sweat. She put a hand up to her throbbing
forehead, and realized she wasn\’t getting any sleep tonight. She
looked around, feeling horribly stifled in her own quarters…
she wanted to run and hide where no one could find her… but on
Voyager, that was impossible.
Janeway thought of the holoprogram Chakotay had shown her a
few weeks before… a serene lakeside. She flung on her uniform,
ripping off her comm badge, and strode to the holodeck.

************************************************************

When she got there, she commanded, \”Computer, activate
program Chakotay Alpha One.\”

The computer beeped jarringly. \”Negative. Program is
already in progress.\”

Janeway arched an eyebrow, but shrugged her shoulders.
\”Very well. Let me enter.\” The doors swished open and shut
behind her, leaving her in a beautiful mountain vista. She
breathed in deeply, smiling at the pine aroma. She found a
familiar footpath, where she and Chakotay had walked only a few
weeks earlier… she sighed, saddened, and plunged down the path
towards the shimmering lake.

She walked for what seemed an eternity, until her eyes,
weary of constant forest shrubbery, feasted on a gorgeous sunset
over a picturesque lake.

She could hear Chakotay whispering, \”That\’s the real beauty
of this place, Kathryn… walking in the darkness for so long,
and then… this.\” She could feel Chakotay\’s grip on her hand,
his breath sweeping over her face, indicating the nearness of his
face to hers; his free hand gesturing towards the lake, then her
face, caressing her cheek as he kissed her for the longest moment
of her life.

She had been so perfectly happy… but now she was plauged
with strange and horrible emotions and thoughts.

She walked down to the pebble-strewn beach, towards a huge
boulder where they had sat, hand in hand, just watching the
sunset. But she had had the thrilling feeling that Chakotay
hadn\’t even noticed the sun. She sighed, her voice swelling
until it reverberated across the lake.

She saw with suprise a head pop up from behind the huge
stone, then disappear again. Her reverie broken by this, she
walked over to where the boulder was, and found Chakotay there.
She crouched beside him, whispering, \”You couldn\’t sleep either?\”

\”I didn\’t even try.\” he murmured.

\”I did, and all it got me was chills down my spine and a
horrible nightmare.\”

\”What about?\” Chakotay said, eyes full of caring, but his
hands leaden, almost afraid to touch her.

\”It was horrible… you said… you said you didn\’t love
me… and you tried to kill me.\” said Janeway, her voice
unsteady.

\”Oh God, Kathryn! I would never do that… I would never
say that!\” he whispered savagely.

\”I try to convince myself of that, but I can\’t.\”

Chakotay looked hauntedly at Janeway. \”I think you just
killed my soul, Kathryn.\”

Janeway couldn\’t bear to look at Chakotay\’s face, which was
now blanched and fearful. \”I\’m sorry, Chakotay, but what if…?\”

\”I love you, Kathryn. Nothing can change that. Know
that.\”

His tone was filled with melancholy and passionate
undercurrents, and Janeway looked at the face that she trusted so
implicitly as her First Officer, but was so diffident of in love.
Her voice faltered, \”I don\’t know…\”

Janeway was so unconciously lovely in her miserable
bewilderment that Chakotay unknowingly edged nearer to her,
laying a finger on her lips. His voice was rife with tender
passion as he murmured, \”Here, at this exact spot, you were so
very sure, Kathryn, that you loved me. And I was just as sure of
my love for you then as I am now. A few weeks, a few years, it
makes no difference; I will always love you. Seska, B\’Elanna, or
anyone else is of no consequence. If you wish, I will speak to
B\’Elanna, and I will tell her the same thing.\”

A single tear rolled down Janeway\’s cheek, and she looked
up at Chakotay, a shadow of a smile on her lips. And there was
naught to do but for him to kiss her. But even as Janeway\’s lips
responded, she wondered about the Chief Engineer, and how she
would ever face her again.

************************************************************

The afore-mentioned Torres was hunched over a console near
the warp core, busy entering countless command codes and
diagnostics, when she felt a steady pressure on her shoulder.
She spun around, finding Janeway standing behind her, uncommonly
anxious. \”I need to speak to you, Lieutenant.\”

\”Yes, Captain?\”

Janeway shook her head. \”Not here. My Ready Room.\”

B\’Elanna looked quizzically at Janeway as she strode out of
Engineering, but followed nonetheless.

************************************************************

When they arrived in the Captain\’s Ready Room, Janeway sat
in her chair, eyes darting around the room. She drew a sharp
breath, and began the hardest speech she\’d ever made in her
career, no shilly-shallying… it only made it harder.
\”Lieutenant, when Kes bumped into you yesterday, she
inadvertently had a telepathis episode, and she saw a deeply-
buried vision.\”

B\’Elanna turned defensive. \”What do you mean, Captain?\”

Janeway sighed. \”She saw your alien vision from a few
months ago.\”

B\’Elanna stood like a deer in headlights, her eyes saucers.
\”No…\” she gasped. Janeway could only nod, and B\’Elanna
murmured tragically, \”Does…?\” Janeway nodded brokenly again.
\”Oh GOD… I don\’t understand… it was subconcious… it wasn\’t
REAL… I could never THINK such a thing… oh GOD…\” she paced,
clenching her fingers violently.

Janeway gathered her shattered nerves, and walked over to
B\’Elanna, murmuring maternally, \”It\’s all right… we all had
visions we couldn\’t control… you can rest in your quarters…
it will be all right… I promise…\” she cooed, more to herself
than the frustrated Torres. She desprately wished Chakotay
wasn\’t involved with this… he was B\’Elanna\’s friend, he could
soothe her… but not now… Torres nodded mutely, rushing
angrily from the room.

************************************************************

For the first time since being promoted, B\’Elanna Torres
didn\’t follow the Captain\’s orders – – instead burying herself in
her work, her only words barked orders. A hushed silence fell
over Engineering, as crewmen snuck by the fearful majesty of
B\’Elanna\’s humiliated wrath.

An incredibly brave, or incredibly insane, crewman, an
ensign, slipped beside her silently, laying a hand on her tense
arm. Her head snapped up, nearly knocking into Harry\’s. How
Harry survived the glare alone was a feat in and of itself. Her
whole body plainly said, \”Die, foolish mortal.\”, but Harry, a
generous amount of the milk of human kindness mixed with his
blood, was willing to take that risk.

\”What\’s wrong, B\’Elanna?\” he said, genuine concern in his
eyes.

B\’Elanna was more than a little bewildered by Harry\’s
gentle tone, and found her wrath toppling beneath simple
friendliness. She frowned nonetheless as she related the
horrible events of the past few hours to the eager ensign before
her. By the time she got to the part about her confrontation
with Janeway, hot tears were spilling unconciously over her
cheeks, and Harry guided her towards the empty hall.

Finally, she incoherently finished her tale, and broke down
completely, the only thing keeping her from collapsing was
Harry\’s awkward grasp around her shoulders. \”And… I\’m just
so…\” she sputtered.

\”What?\” asked Harry, slightly expectant.

\”Embarassed… angry… afraid…\” moaned Torres, clutching
Harry tighter.

\”Afraid? Of what?\” queried Harry.

\”I\’ll lose Chakotay\’s friendship…\”

\”Oh.\”

\”Oh?!?\” B\’Elanna said, looking up at Harry\’s rather
crestfallen face.

\”Well… I was hoping you\’d think I was…\”

\”What?\” said B\’Elanna pointedly, staring at Harry from the
uncanny position she was now in.

\”Well… that I was jealous…\”

\”Jealous?!?\” flubbered Torres. \”What do you mean??\”

\”Well… I might be a little… jealous you weren\’t
thinking of me…\” blushed Harry.

B\’Elanna twisted from Kim, confused. \”Why would you be
jealous…?\”

Kim looked at B\’Elanna very intensely… and Torres\’s eyes
widened with comprehension. \”You don\’t mean…?\”

\”I think so.\”

\”I… I don\’t know what to say… or think… or feel…\”
said B\’Elanna wildly, finding her thoughts drifting oddly to
Chakotay. As if to counteract her mental torment, she kissed him
passionately, and rushed down the hall abstractly, leaving poor
Harry, dazed, standing in the center of the hall, much as
Cinderella had fled her prince at midnight.

************************************************************

Janeway sat, alone this time, staring at the gorgeously-
hued sunset in the holodeck, trying to piece the puzzle of the
past two days together, finding all the parts hopelessly askew,
and many of the pieces missing, if they existed at all. She
heard a shuffling step, and her heart lept, but sank as she saw
the gold of the uniform that was nearing her. \”Captain, I
thought I\’d find you here.\” said Harry disjointedly.

Janeway smiled serenely at Kim. \”Come, sit down, Harry.
What\’s wrong?\”

Harry looked around, ignoring her painful question.
\”Beautiful place you have, Captain. Very relaxing, I suppose.\”

Janeway flushed. \”It\’s not my program. It\’s… Commander
Chakotay\’s.\”

\”Oh.\” said Harry, realizing he\’d trod on rather personal
ground.

\”But that doesn\’t answer my question, Harry… what\’s
wrong?\” Janeway said maternally, the resonance in her tone
inspiring utter confidence.

\”It\’s… B\’Elanna.\” he mumbled.

Now it was Janeway\’s turn to whisper, \”Oh. What…
happened?\”

\”I… sort of… implied that I was… jealous of her
fantasy about Commander Chakotay… and…\” faltered Harry.

\”And…?\” said Janeway strangely.

\”And… she kissed me… and ran away. I don\’t
understand…\”

Janeway smiled wanly at Kim\’s distraught face, so like
little Clare\’s as she pored over some difficult quantum mechanics
or internalized some childish hurt. She withheld a desire to hug
Harry, and mother the fear and pain from his wounds.

Once again she wished Chakotay wasn\’t involved in this…
they all needed him so much… but it was up to her. \”Oh Harry,
I wish I could say love makes everything better, but I can\’t, or
I\’d be a hypocrite. I don\’t know what B\’Elanna thinks about any
of this, and I have a feeling she doesn\’t either. All you can do
is be strong, for her and for yourself. And that\’s all she can
do, either.\”

\”Thank you, Captain.\” said Harry as he stood up, a peaceful
smile flickering across his face as he left. His grateful words
were silently echoed by the tall, dark figure a meter away in the
dense woods, before he disappeared as well.

************************************************************

Harry poked his head into the darkened Mess Hall, ducking
from a flying tureen that clattered beside his head. His eyes
widened as he witnessed B\’Elanna in all her fury… no more
tears, no more weakness; only a fearful tower of seething rage
issuing silverware and dishes from her person as she stormed
around like some huge human tornado.

She didn\’t see Harry sneak up behind her until, as she was
wrenching a heavy pot from its hook, she was siezed around the
waist and dragged to a seat near the window. She clawed and
screamed like a banshee, it was a wonder that someone didn\’t here
or that Harry wasn\’t ripped to shreds.
Then again, it wasn\’t a wonder at all – – while B\’Elanna
had only frustration and anger fueling her strength, Harry had
adrenaline and simple human passion coursing through his veins as
he slung B\’Elanna into the seat; the only things keeping him from
ending up in a thousand pieces on the floor.

He hunched over B\’Elanna, pinning her arms to the chair so
she wouldn\’t slug him. Staring into her eyes, he said, \”What is
WITH you?? It was just a vision!\”

\”It\’s not about that anymore!! It\’s… it\’s…\” cried
B\’Elanna wildly, struggling to unpin her arms, but Harry held
firm.

\”It\’s WHAT?\” said Harry staring at her deeply.

B\’Elanna writhed uncomfortably, but seeing that Harry
wasn\’t to be denied, sighed, half-irritated, half-thankful. \”I
don\’t know… I guess… I was glad you were… jealous…\”

Harry shook his head, confused, releasing his grip on
B\’Elanna\’s arms. She spun from the chair, knocking him into it
as she fled to a less intimate seat. Her eyes glowed faintly in
the moonlight, the scattered silverware casting strange patterns
of reflected light on her face.
The expression on her face had transformed: intense as
ever, but more curious and poignant than furious. She set her
mouth, and they stared at each other, the foriegn, eerie Klingon
gazing at the innocent moonlit face of the boyish ensign.

It was almost as if they would never speak or move again…
until Kim eyed the floor for a split second and saw the violent
mess strewn on the floor. B\’Elanna shifted her gaze as well, and
they both fell to the impersonal task of collecting Neelix\’s
mangled utensils. Suddenly, B\’Elanna noticed the clink of
gathered dishes only came from her – – Harry was just sitting
there, staring into space… her space… \”Harry!\” she whispered.

\”Huh?\” said Harry, shaking the cobwebs from his mind.

B\’Elanna crawled over to where Harry sat. \”You were just
sitting there – – what\’s up?\”

\”Oh… umm… I was just thinking… umm… it wouldn\’t be
a total loss if Neelix never found his cookpots, would it?\” he
grinned, covering up the fact that he had been internally
soliloquizing on B\’Elanna\’s hunched form.

B\’Elanna smiled, and Harry blurted, \”You know, you\’re even
more beautiful when you smile than when you\’re angry.\”

B\’Elanna turned to look at him, her eyes softening. \”You
really think that?\”

Harry nodded, Libby all but forgotten. \”With all my
heart.\”

During this episode, they had unconciously edged closer and
closer to each other. B\’Elanna smiled again, and Harry was so
intoxicated by her smile that he wrapped his arms around her and
kissed her.

After a few breathless minutes, B\’Elanna and Harry opened
their eyes, and looked around again. B\’Elanna looked at Harry.
\”You know, we really do have to pick this stuff up.\”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. \”Not yet.\”

************************************************************

A few days later, Janeway sat in her quarters, her head
leaned back against Chakotay\’s chest as they talked. \”It\’s
almost as if Kes\’s telepathic mishap did more good than harm.\”

\”I\’m just a little suprised at B\’Elanna – – Harry doesn\’t
seem her type.\”

Janeway craned her neck to kiss his cheek. \”Opposites
attract, Chakotay.\”

Chakotay and Janeway shared a long kiss, their happiness
mirrored by a half-Klingon and a young ensign sharing dinner in
the Mess Hall.

************************************************************

FIN

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Days of Future’s Past

************************************************************

“Days of Future’s Past”

************************************************************

Time past and time future
What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.

– T. S. Eliot

************************************************************

A young girl sat brushing her thick dark hair in her
quarters. The sterile atmosphere had been softened over many
years by knickknacks and the soft fall of fabric and colors.
Against the muted warmth of the room, the girl bloomed like an
exotic hothouse orchid. She was a paradox in and of herself, her
ebony curls framing a pale, spirited face with a strong nose and
chin, her eyes a gorgeous cloud of blue and gold, depending on
her mood.

Right now her eyes were an intense shade of blue,
glittering as she pulled her hair into a regulation chignon at
the nape of her neck, her slim hand brushing past an intricate
tattoo over her right eye. This completed, she stood up,
brushing off the severe crimson and black of her uniform,
straightening her collar, decorated with a small dull-bronze pip.
She set resolutely out of her room, headed stalwartly out towards
the Captain’s quarters.

************************************************************

When she arrived, she was greeted by a woman sitting in a
large chair, a huge gold-bound book in her lap. The woman’s hair
caught the mellow light, accentuating the gold and silver
highlights that threaded her dark hair. She lifted her head at
the familiar beep, her face breaking into a maternal smile.
“Kehs,” she murmured, laying the heavy book aside to stand up and
hug her.

The girl grinned, her smile causing a strange gasp from the
older woman. “Hello, Mother.”

“I though you’d come, Kehs. What did you want to talk
about today?”

The younger woman sat on the floor in a familiar attitude,
gazing up at her mother with abject fascination, which sent the
Captain’s heart to her throat in remembrance. “Father.”

Janeway sank back into her chair, clutching the book and
feeling suddenly very old. The invisible lines now asserted
themselves, and she nodded. “I suppose you don’t remember him
very well… you were so young when he…”

Kehs looked down. “Died.”

Janeway’s eyes bored holes through her daughter. “NO! We
don’t know if he’s alive or dead…” she murmured brokenly.

Dispite her age, Kehs hugged her mother’s knees fiercely,
her own tears had been wept out, later replaced by curses, and
finally, resignation and a vague feeling of emptiness. Her
father had left on an away mission, and had been captured by
Kazon, never to be seen by Voyager again.

She was only five at the time, her few memories of him were
very clear: hugging her, wiping her face when she had spilled
Neelix’s cheese sauce over her head when she was three, tucking
her into her bed, showing her exquisitely carved stones,
patiently explaining to the serious young Kehs each of the
symbols on them. Dispite the length of time, she never forgot
those spiritual lessons, or the look in his eyes when he beamed
with pride when she would repeat them back a week later verbatim,
adding her own childish spin on his wise words.

Finally, Janeway cleared her throat enough to speak,
gesturing to a footstool nearby. She opened the thick album in
her lap, quickly turning past the inscription written in
Chakotay’s hand – – some things were just too deeply personal to
tell even your daughter. Besides, she had memorized it the first
day she saw it – – it was buried in a warm, living part of her
heart and soul, where Chakotay, Kes, and Tom lived on in her
memories. She pointed to the first picture in the album,
explaining, “It would have been easier to put these pictures in
the files, but your father insisted it would be more meaningful
if we had something with more weight to thumb through. He spent
a week’s replicator rations on this for us…” she sighed, her
eyes reminiscent.

Her gaze fell back to the picture that was under her
finger. “This was taken at Kes’s second birthday party. She was
an Ocampa, and they only live 9 years normally, but we were lucky
enough to have her with us for 11 years. She died when you were
very small, and we knew the end was near when you were born, and
she asked us to name you after her. Neelix, Tom, and the Doctor
couldn’t stand the thought of another Kes, but Kes was adamant,
so we added an ‘h’ to her name. She was the first person to hold
you after you were born, and she was your god-mother. She loved
you so much. Even when she couldn’t hold you anymore, I brought
you to see her everyday. When she died, you were right next to
her, curled in the crook of her arm, and she had the most
peaceful smile I’ve ever seen on her face. You cried for days
afterwards… you didn’t understand why Kes didn’t wake up.”

A tear splashed down, and she smiled wanly as she pointed
to another picture, of two young men, one in a red uniform and a
roguish expression, the other in gold with an innocent smile.
“That’s Tom Paris and Harry Kim. They…”

“Lieutenant Kim?? He used to look like THAT?” laughed
Kehs, staring at the fresh-faced young man.

Janeway stared at her daughter, and then realized it had
been more than 15 years since she had looked at these pictures.
“Yes, this was his first mission. He was so young then, very
ambitious. The best ensign a Captain could hope for. Everyone
on this crew has been more than I could have hoped for…” she
sighed again, but she couldn’t get ahead of herself, and
backtracked, “And this is Tom Paris. He began to take alot of
risks without Kes to give him a real reason to take care of
himself. Finally, he was taking a shuttle to a Talaxian planet,
when he just… ended it all, or beamed to the planet for good,
we don’t really know – – his comm badge was lying on the seat of
the chair – – but for all intents and purposes the shuttle was
empty when we tractored it in.” She lifted her hand to turn the
page, saying, “And this is the crew on the Bridge…”

But Kehs grabbed her hand, saying, “What about Father?”

Janeway sighed. “I suppose I thought I might be able to
distract you, but I see you’re too much like, or extremely
different from, both of your parents to be so blind.”

Kehs looked at her mother with a familiar arch of her
eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

Janeway sighed, realizing she had unconsciously left the
door wide open for her daughter to probe further, and that there
was no turning back now. “In the beginning of this trip, we
expected to be home in three weeks, with a few bruises and the
Maquis prisoners we had come for. But due to the Caretaker,
which I’ve told you about, and perhaps some of my own hubris, I
ended up captaining a ship half Starfleet, half Maquis halfway
across the galaxy from where we began. It was strange at first,
and very exciting. We tried vainly for the first few years to
find a way home, but when we realized we wouldn’t be getting home
for 70 years, we dedicated ourselves to exploration primarily,
but I never gave up the hope that someday I would see Mark
again.”

“Mark?”

Janeway crimsoned. “I was in love with him – – I left him
on Earth, taking care of my dogs.”

“Oh.”

“But after a few years, I realized that Mark should go on
with his life, even if I couldn’t. I had very lofty ideals on
how I should distance myself from the crew, and I stuck to them.”

“Until…”

“Until one day, three years after Voyager had been sent
across the galaxy, I had been communing with my spirit guide…”

“Father’s ritual!” cried Kehs.

“Yes, with Commander Chakotay, as I knew him then. I was
in the center of a peaceful place in my mind, when I felt a hand
on my shoulder. I don’t know why, but I felt my ideals
rearranging themselves to suit him. He kissed me, and my ideals
just gave up on me then and there. I was very good friends with
all of the senior officers after that, but I think I was
attracted to your father even when he was a Maquis Captain trying
to kill me, but of course, I didn’t know it then.” she said,
turning a few pages, her eyes glistening.

Her slim fingers caressed a picture of herself and
Chakotay, her voice rich with emotion as she said, “This was
taken about two years later, when we were married. It was a
small ceremony, with a small party at Sandrine’s afterwards.”
She flipped another page, revealing a picture of Janeway holding
a small child. “You were born two years later. Tuvok did most
of the commanding the first year, and we spent alot of our off-
duty time with you. But we were traveling through what Neelix
said was unpopulated space, and you were a relatively quiet baby,
so we had no trouble. In fact, all of the Bridge crew came to
see you almost as soon as the Doctor announced your birth. You
were the most beautiful baby in the universe, and there are 150
people on this ship who would agree with me.” she smiled as she
glanced at the picture of herself and Chakotay holding Kehs.

She turned another page, her face pure joy as she recounted
her babyhood. “As soon as you could walk, you were dragging us
out of bed, or toddling off to the Mess Hall or the Bridge. You
loved to just sit in Chakotay’s lap and watch the viewscreen for
hours. You would fall asleep, and I’d carry you off to bed.
Then you learned to talk, and you were ordering around the
ensigns like you were born to. And if they didn’t do what you
asked, you’d look at them so sweetly they probably would have
caused a core breach if you wanted them to.”

She thumbed through a few more pictures, until she came to
a picture of Kehs holding a large carved rock. “When you were
four, you became very introspective and quiet. You asked your
father to teach you everything he knew about the carvings he made
and his tattoo. You were fascinated by it.”

“I know, I still remember what he taught me.” she murmured,
squeezing her mother’s hand.

Janeway stared at the dark face staring up from the album,
and smiled wistfully. “So do I, Kehs, so do I.”

A beep issued from Kehs’s comm badge, and a severe voice
said, “Bridge to Ensign Kehs. You are needed on the Bridge.”

Kehs smiled sadly at her mother. “Yes, Commander Tuvok.
I’m on my way.”

************************************************************

Janeway shivered unconsciously as Kehs left. After
Chakotay left, she never allowed anyone to call Tuvok
“Commander,” dispite his rank. After a few years, the pain
subsided just enough to let her call her first officer “Commander
Tuvok” on the Bridge, but in her mind and her Ready Room, Tuvok
was always “Lieutenant Tuvok” to her.

He had been a dear friend to her, and was her rock in the
months after Chakotay’s disappearance. She had become absorbed
in her work, forgetting her little daughter, and Tuvok always
convinced her to let go of the sorrow; the one to countermand her
order to destroy every Kazon ship they found. Finally, she put
the broken pieces of her psyche together, and became once again a
wise and caring captain to her crew, and a loving mother to her
daughter. But sometimes she felt strangely incomplete, as when
she came home to her daughter, who looked up at her and hugged
her and loved her, and she realized that she wouldn’t ever
embrace her husband again, only this wee part of themselves that
brightened her mother’s life.

She raised Kehs in extraordinary grace and maturity,
blossoming into the lovely young woman she and Chakotay had
wanted their only daughter to become. Tuvok educated her mind as
Janeway had educated her soul: with the utmost care and
attention. It was he that discovered that Kehs had a little of
the telekinetic abilities of her namesake, though not to the
amazing heights of the Ocampa. Her sympathy and assertiveness,
as well as the adventuresome spirit of her parents, led her to
don the crimson uniform of command. Janeway had been very proud
and glad – – as well as a little saddened that Chakotay would not
see the day she received her uniform and diploma. Before the
ceremony, she and Kehs had sat in her quarters, conducting what
Kehs hoped would contact Chakotay wherever he was. Janeway had
felt a warm, protective presence in the room, which passed as
quickly as it had come, but left Janeway with a warm assurance of
his love, no matter how far apart they were.

Janeway smiled, reflecting on her life. She had been very
sad when she realized she would never see Mark again, but they
had been apart from each other for long stretches of the time
they had been together. But she and Chakotay had been together
constantly for 14 years, had been aware of their feelings for
each other for 2, then were married for 9 years. It was as if
their souls had become so closely knit, they no long even had to
speak but with their eyes. Dispite the brave facade her crew
saw, a small part of her was lonely and a bit afraid when she
realized they would probably never find the Kazons, much less
hope that Chakotay might still be alive if they did.

Kehs’s voice suddenly echoed through the room, strangely
thick. “Captain, you might want to come to the Transporter
Room.”

“Right now?”

“RIGHT now. The Kazon have transported someone on board
you might want to see.”

************************************************************

Janeway shook her head of the memories, and hurried to the
Transporter Room, wondering what new aliens they had met up with
now. A small crowd had filled the room, which parted before the
Captain’s stride. She looked up, and she gasped at the figure on
the transporter. “Chakotay!” she whispered.

“Captain?” he murmured disjointedly, stepping from the
platform. The crowd had vanished except for Kehs and Janeway.
He shook his head, and turned to stare at Kehs, and at the
familiar tattoo on her forehead. “Who are you?”

Kehs smiled joyously. “I’m Kehs, Father.”

Chakotay blinked rapidly. “What?”

“Kehs, your daughter. I’m not surprised you don’t
recognize me.”

“You’re not?”

“I was only five when you disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

Janeway put an arm around Kehs’s shoulder. “Now, Kehs, I’m
sure the Kazons’ must have addled his memory. Go to your
quarters, and we’ll return later.”

Kehs smiled naively at Janeway. “Yes, Mother.”

Chakotay stared even more. “Mother?”

“Why, yes, Chakotay, I would hope so. You are my husband.”
grinned Janeway.

Chakotay leaned on the transporter console. “I’m sorry, I
must be a little more than a bit addled. I’m very confused.”

Janeway smiled, guiding him toward the door. “I’m sure
everything will be quite clear after we talk in our quarters.”

Chakotay was too dumb-founded at this point to do anything
but nod and follow the woman he thought was just his captain.

************************************************************

Janeway handed him a steaming cup of coffee, and settled in
next to him on the sofa. Chakotay put the mug down, and put a
hand next to his forehead. Janeway smiled warmly at him as he
gazed around the room. “I… we… lived here?”

Janeway nodded. “For nine years.”

“Nine years? How many years have we been out here?”

“Twenty-eight years.”

“And how many years was I missing?”

“Fourteen. You disappeared when Kehs was five, and she’s
nineteen now.”

“Gods…” murmured Chakotay, “That’s another thing I don’t
remember… Kehs. Tell me about her.”

Janeway smiled reminicently. “She was born two years after
we were married, and she and my duty to the ship and crew were
the only thing that kept me sane after you disappeared. I would
fire on any Kazon that came in sensor range for months. But I
finally accepted that wasn’t going to do any good, and life went
back to some semblance of normalcy.”

“And Kehs?”

“Kehs was devastated, but children are very resilient,
especially Kehs. She was always very solemn and wise, and then
more than ever. She pored over your logs and your carvings even
more than when you were there. She would take your medicine
bundle and commune with her spirit guide…”

“She has a spirit guide??”

“You helped her find it a few weeks before you were
captured. She was constantly talking to it, but she could never
find you, and that pained her. She still talks to it, and when
she turned fifteen, she took your tattoo to honor you. She said
she wanted to help you make amends with your father, and she
hoped that you’d come to her then.”

“She’s very spiritual, I take it.”

“She’s amazingly like you, and it hurt me at first, then it
was comforting. I made her wear her hair over the tattoo at
first, but finally I accepted she was her father’s daughter, even
if her father was dead or millions of miles away.”

A tear sparkled in her eye, a restrained ache she’d buried
for so long bubbling to the surface. Her voice was clouded as
she murmured, “I missed you so much, Chakotay!”

Chakotay looked at Janeway, and he wrapped his arms around
her, murmuring, “It’s all right, I’m here now…” more confused
than ever.

************************************************************

Chakotay was relieved to find the Doctor unchanged in the
midst of this confusion. “Ah, Commander Chakotay, you’re back.”

“You’re not surprised to see me after all these… years?”
said Chakotay.

“Time means little to me other than just another stardate,
and it means even less without Kes.” sighed the Doctor, but he
immediately scrutinized Chakotay. “What seems to be the problem,
Commander?”

“I don’t remember anything…”

“How much do you remember, Commander?” he asked, scanning
his head.

“I don’t remember the past 13 or so years that supposedly
occurred before I was captured! Before that, I remember
everything in great detail.”

The Doctor snapped the tricorder shut, raising his eyebrow.
“Interesting. You have forgotten almost all of your experiences
on Voyager?”

“Yes… except for the first year or so…”

“Interesting. Do you remember being captured by the
Kazon?”

“Sort of… I remember being held hostage, but Captain
Janeway was about to beam me back, and I ended up back here.”

“Hmm… I am at a loss, but I do suggest bed rest right
now. Even if you were in perfect health, you need it.”

************************************************************

Chakotay lay on a sofa in his quarters, trying to piece the
events he’d missed – – or forgotten – – together. It was very
strange he only remembered up to his abduction – – and that
Janeway was only his Captain and friend the way he remembered it.
And now he found himself back on a very different Voyager, 27
years gone by he could not recall, with a wife and a grown
daughter, two friends dead, and a thousand and one minute changes
surrounding him.

He wondered how he could forget, even with amnesia, such a
long amount of time, and such landmarks in his life as marrying
and having a daughter! And with such a woman as Janeway!
Chakotay was still amazed that Janeway would ever forget Mark,
and that she would ever let herself fall in love with a
subordinate.

*I must be pretty good* smiled Chakotay, but he sobered as
he saw his face in the mirror. His face was too young and
healthy to have been over sixty. His brain clicked, and he
suddenly realized that it was not a strange case of amnesia – –
he had somehow fallen into a spatial rift like Harry – – but he
hadn’t been on a shuttlecraft.

He racked his brain to think of why and how, when Janeway
padded up beside him softly. He was concentrating very hard, and
he didn’t notice her presence until she laid a hand on his
shoulder. He looked up, a million questions about Kazon and
transporters throbbing in his brain, but when he looked at the
love and longing in her beautiful blue eyes, he hadn’t the heart
to ask any of them.

He smiled at her, and she swept her arms around his
shoulders. He found himself amazed at the youthful resiliency in
her form and face. Her face was unlined, save for small lines
that he – – or the Chakotay that had existed in this thread of
time – – had caused. Her hair was thick and dark, save for a few
strands of silver. She didn’t look 60-odd anymore than he did,
but her eternal loveliness was a gift from God, not due to rifts
or anomalies.

He smoothed her soft hair and face, drawing her face to
his. Her lips caressed his softly, taking his breath away in the
sweetness of the moment. He had dreamed of this moment in the
deep recesses of his mind for so long, but he had never in his
wildest imaginings thought it could be so perfect. She pulled
away, her lips covering his cheek with a million light kisses as
she did so.

She sat down very close to him, her arms still around him.
“It’s so wonderful to have you back.”

Chakotay sighed deeply, his breath rustling wisps of her
hair about. “There’s something I have to tell you about.”

Janeway sidled nearer. “What about, Chakotay?”

“When I transported onto this ship, it was from a Kazon
ship, but not from the Kazon ship on your port bow.”

“What?”

“Well, that’s the thing. It’s not the same ship that
abducted your husband. It was a Kazon ship in another point of
time that brought me here by mistake.”

“What do you mean?”

Chakotay looked away from Janeway’s penetrating gaze. “I
am Commander Chakotay from 27 years in your past. I am as yet
unmarried, and we have only been in the Delta Quadrant for a
year. Kes – – the Ocampa – – is two years old, and Tom Paris and
Neelix are as close to friends as they can be. There must have
been some sort of mix up, and I ended up here.”

“You must be so insulted…”

“INSULTED?!?” gasped Chakotay. “I have been dreaming of it
since I met you!”

Janeway smiled happily. “Then why don’t you stay here
Chakotay?”

************************************************************

Chakotay stared at Janeway. “I can’t do that, Captain.”

“I’m Kathryn in this time thread, Chakotay, and yes you
can. You have a wonderful life here… ”

“…which I didn’t get to experience half of.”

“But you may not be able to experience any of in your time
stream, Chakotay! Who knows if she will ever love you there!”

“You do.”

“But this a totally different point in time, Chakotay! It
is governed by different events that may or may not occur in your
time stream.”

“I…” But Chakotay’s objections were cut off by Kehs’s
entrance.

“Father, Mother.” she said, smiling.

She hugged Janeway, and fell to the floor before them,
looking up at the two of them through the silky fans of her
lashes. “Father,” she said, laying her head on his knee. He
looked at Janeway, and she shook her head violently.

He put a tentative hand on her head, stroking the dark
waves of her hair, the thick curls brushing away to reveal the
glowing ivory of her cheek and forehead, where the tattoo reached
from scalp to eyebrow. He traced the design, a sense of pride
swelling inside him for this daughter who was his in only a
remote sense of the word – – and who might not ever exist in his
real place in time. She lifted her head, and as she hugged him,
he wondered what his Kathryn Janeway was doing right now with
this Janeway’s husband.

************************************************************

In a time thread 27 years before the one the Commander had
found himself in, Kathryn Janeway was preparing to receive her
First Officer back from the Kazon ship off their bow. The blue
thread of the transporter beam expanded into the muscular form of
Commander Chakotay. But as the features came into focus, Janeway
noticed he had aged – – his graying hair and lines on his
chiseled face implied he was at least a very youthful 55.

He turned to Janeway, his eyes pure fire. He stepped
quickly from the platform, eyes on Janeway. “Kathryn!” he
exclaimed, catching her up in his arms and kissing her. Tuvok
and Harry could only stare as Janeway just slipped her arms down,
too amazed to struggle.

Finally, he pulled away, and Janeway stared at Chakotay.
“What…?”

Chakotay grinned at her. “That wasn’t the welcome I was
expecting from my wife, Kathryn.”

Janeway looked back at Harry and Tuvok, who shrugged their
shoulders and arched their eyebrows respectively. She turned
back to Chakotay. “What have they done to you, Commander?” she
said.

“They tortured me the first few years, but finally they
realized I wasn’t going to give in, and so I’m here.”

“Years?!? You were only gone for a day, and it was a
peaceful meeting, or as peaceful as it can be with Kazons!” She
stared at his gray hair. “You’ve… aged, Commander… how??”

“This is what 14 years does to us, Kathryn.”

“This is very strange… ”

“I think it’s rather strange you don’t remember your own
husband, Kathryn.”

“Stop calling me that! I’m Captain Janeway, and I’m not
married to anyone, especially not Commander Chakotay, whoever you
are!”

Chakotay looked pained. “This is very odd… Captain.”

*That’s an understatement* thought Janeway as she led him
out of the Transporter Room.

************************************************************

Back in the alternate time thread, Chakotay was reviewing
all “he” had missed with his “wife” and “daughter,” who lay on
the floor looking up in awe of him. He was in awe of the whole
situation, but even as he reveled in the love and warmth of this
reality, he realized that he had missed too much for him to be
any use here – – the older Chakotay that had fallen in love and
had a daughter here belonged here – – even if he never had a
chance with Janeway in his reality, it was where he belonged.

He looked around, wondering – – hoping – – if this would
ever happen in his time thread… whether there would ever be a
beautiful daughter like Kehs, or if he would ever have a wife
like this Kathryn Janeway. He vowed then that if – – when – – he
got back to his proper place, he would tell Janeway how much he
loved her. His reverie was interrupted by Kehs’s sweet mellow
voice. “Father, I’ve missed you so!”

He smiled benevolently at the eager young face he might
never see on his Voyager. “I’ve missed you too, Kehs.”

************************************************************

Back on his reality, Janeway was desperately trying to
figure out what had happened to her First Officer. “Can you
explain what happened, Commander?”

“Of course… Captain.” began the older Chakotay. “You
see, I was married to Kathryn Janeway and I had a lovely little
daughter named Kehs. We were very happy until I was captured by
Kazon when Kehs was five. I was dragged around the quadrant for
14 years until they finally were captured by Voyager. I was
about to beam to Voyager when I found myself here – – which is
what I thought was Voyager.” He blushed, and added, “By the way,
I am sorry for my actions when I first saw you. I miss my wife
terribly.”

Janeway smiled. “It’s quite all right. I miss my First
Officer. I suppose it must be some sort of mix-up in realities,
and Commander Chakotay must be in your reality.”

“If he’s anything like the Chakotay I am, he won’t want to
leave.” grinned Chakotay.

“He’ll come back.” said Janeway resolutely, wondering if
her alternate reality Janeway had that much of a hold on
Chakotay. She knew that his alternate reality did.

************************************************************

Chakotay worked feverishly with Harry on the transporter,
trying to figure out how to get him back home. Harry tapped out
a few figures on the console, saying, “The way I see it, if we
beam you to your Voyager at the same time as your Voyager
transports this reality’s Chakotay here, then we might be able to
swap the two of you. But we have no coordinates or time frame to
work from.”

“So we need to find some coordinates, Harry!” said
Chakotay.

“OK, OK, but this may take awhile. I can hypothetically
create a long range scanner on a frequency high enough to find
and contact your reality.”

“I don’t do ‘hypothetical,” Harry – – I want that scanner
soon.”

“Yes sir.”

“What are you talking about, Father?” said Kehs, slipping
into the room.

Chakotay looked at Harry, and said quickly, “Just some
transporter adjustments, dear.”

“Oh… I’ll go…”

“No… it’s all right, I’m done now. Why don’t we have
lunch together?”

Kehs smiled happily. “Sure, I have an hour or so until my
shift.”

************************************************************

The alternate Chakotay was also eating Neelix’s pithy
cuisine with Janeway in her quarters, relating his courtship of
her alter ego. Janeway barely ate as she sat in awe of this
thrilling personage she thought she knew so well – – but then
again, this was a person who’s life was ruled by events that may
not have occurred in her reality. The thought that the Chakotay
she knew might be a totally different man put a lump in her
throat.

“She – – you – – was so beautiful, when I first saw her I
fell in love with her. She was staring at me with the grimmest
stare I’ve ever seen on her face. I think I’ve loved her ever
since. But it wasn’t until 3 years later she found out – – I was
helping her contact her spirit guide, and I put a hand on her
shoulder. She opened her eyes, and I just had to kiss her. We
were married for 7 years before the accident. I miss her so
much!” he said passionately, clutching Janeway’s hand. They
stared into each other’s eyes, and he stroked her cheek, pulling
it to his. Janeway was so surprised and thrilled she could only
wrap her arms around him. Suddenly, Chakotay moaned, pulling
away from her.

“My head… it’s like it’s going to explode!!” he yelled.
His eyes went wide, and he saw a young woman with dark hair and a
pale tattooed face in his mind’s eye. Janeway hunched over him,
afraid.

************************************************************

Kehs hugged her “father,” and he brought a hand up to his
forehead. “My head… ” he said, seeing his Captain’s face
looking concernedly. *I’ve got to get to sickbay!* he thought.

************************************************************

“And all of a sudden, I saw my daughter’s face.” said
Chakotay as the Doctor scanned him with a critical eye.

“I see. It would appear you had a mental connection for a
few seconds with your alter ego, so to speak. He probably saw
Janeway’s face, no doubt.” he said.

“That’s it!!” cried Harry. When the gathered senior
officers turned to stare at him, he replied, “You see, if we can
harness the connection when it’s great, we can send a message to
the alternate time stream and arrange a transport time.”

“Wonderful. Do it. Doctor, alert Mr. Kim when a
connection is made.” said Janeway, turning from Chakotay, daring
to hope that she would get her Chakotay back.

************************************************************

Meanwhile, back across the gulf of time, to an identical
sickbay 27 years in Voyager’s alternate future, Chakotay was
telling the Doctor of his vision. “It would appear that you made
contact with your alter ego, Commander.”

“Alter ego?? Father, what is he talking about??” cried
Kehs, hugging his arm.

“Nothing, Kehs, nothing.” he tried to calm his “daughter.”

************************************************************

“Captain, we’ve created the neural implant. It will
release a impulse with the message when the spatial – mental
connection is made. We can implant it anytime.”

“Are you sure it won’t have any side effects to either’s
brain?” said Janeway tentatively.

“We won’t know until after the connection is made.”

Janeway sighed, hoping her risk would get her First Officer
back. “Do it.”

************************************************************

Even as his Captain was risking his existences to get him
back, Chakotay was eating with his “daughter,” wondering of the
wisdom of trying valiantly to get back to his Voyager as he
talked to this bright, articulate young woman.

His Janeway would never let anything, not even love, shadow
her duty to the ship and crew, and even if she did get involved
with… someone… she would never be a mother and still remain
captain – – it went against her principals.
But, he thought as he stared at “his” and Janeway’s
daughter, did he honestly know the woman who sat next to him day
after day for a year now? She was as far away from him as the
lowliest of ensigns. That was expected, even in the Delta
Quadrant. That was how it was. But even worse was that he had
been a Maquis – – and she would never understand how it was to
have to give up Starfleet to honor your parents and protect your
family. And so, throughout the entire meal, Kehs chattered
blithely on about a thousand different things, but Chakotay,
plagued by doubts, heard not a wit.

Kehs had begun to relate her 16th birthday when a sharp
stabbing and an echoing voice rushed through his head. The mess
hall went black, and Janeway’s voice and face filled his mind.
Her face was stony and her voice tight as she said, “Commander,
this is the Captain. We’ve recorded these instructions for you
to follow. They are being transmitted by the Chakotay here to
your brain. Have the transporter lock on to these coordinates at
0600 hours tomorrow morning…” Then Janeway’s resonant voice
proceeded to rattle off a stream of numbers and figures for him
to enter into the computer. Then her face half-turned from him,
a sigh filling his consciousness, and Janeway said in a
passionate half-whisper, “Get home, Chakotay. You have to.”

A click signaled the end of the message, and Janeway’s
worried visage melted to reveal the daughter-she- would-probably-
never-have’s face wearing an identical expression. “Father?
What happened??”

Chakotay shook his head, unable to think of anything but
getting the hell to the transporter room, yelling, “Chakotay to
Kim! Get down to the transporter room NOW!”

************************************************************

Janeway hurried to the sickbay when she heard that the
connection had been made, hoping for the best but fearing the
worst. She entered the room like a madwoman, rushing to the
alternate Chakotay’s bedside, barking, “How is he?” as she
clutched the end of the bed.

“He should be fine, but we won’t be able to assess for
permanent brain damage until he regains consciousness,” said the
Doctor blandly.

Janeway turned on the Doctor, boring holes into him. At
that moment, the good Doctor found out what fear was. Slowly,
levelly, her simple words knifing him, she said, “I don’t take
“should”s well, Doctor.”

“I’ll tell you as soon as he wakes,” said the Doctor
tentatively, backing behind Kes.

“He’d better wake soon – – there isn’t much time until
0600!” she said, gripping Chakotay’s hand until her knuckles
turned white. She had the fleeting thought that perhaps Chakotay
could feel her fear across the depths of time and space.

“If he doesn’t wake in time to transport, then you won’t be
able to send a neural impulse again – – he won’t survive.”

Janeway’s worried gaze fell on Chakotay’s impassive face, a
salt water tear trickling down her cheek and splashing on the
aged Chakotay’s tattoo, bringing its distinctive lines to a
starker clarity in her heart-wrenched soul.

************************************************************

Back in the alternate future, Chakotay was relating the
coordinates and figures with superhuman recall, inspired no doubt
by Janeway’s passion-rife plea for his return. Fueled by it and
pure adrenaline, he put Lieutenant Kim and his minions through
their paces as he resumed his feverish work on the transporter.
Chakotay glanced at the time, yelling, “It’s almost 0530!!
Hurry!”

“I’m hurrying as fast as I could!!” yelled Kim. At 0555,
Kim sighed. “Done!” he said, lifting his hands from the
console.

“Thank God!” he said, stepping onto the platform.

But at that fateful moment, Janeway rushed in. “You’re
leaving?!?” she gasped, clutching his hand.

“I have to – – I belong there.”

“Don’t!!”

“Just have faith… Kathryn,” he said, gazing into her
bleary blue eyes. She squeezed his hand, and he drew his free
hand to her face, wrapping her in a final embrace. He drew
away, and disappeared, leaving this strange possible future-
paradise for the place he now called home.

************************************************************

At 0530, 27 years beforehand, Janeway was dozing a short
distance from where the older Chakotay lay, now half-awake. His
gaze fell on Janeway’s form, and for a split second he thought
he’d been transported back to his Voyager already. But then
Janeway awoke, her eyes not beaming with the affectionate warmth
his Kathryn did. He groaned, a searing pain coursing through his
head, waking Janeway, who gasped at the time. “We have to get
you to the transporter room immediately!” she cried, grabbing his
hand impatiently and half-dragging him to the transporter room.
When they reached the transporter room’s doorway, the older
Chakotay grabbed her arm, twirling her around so that she reeled
from the force of her own acceleration. Chakotay looked at her
hungrily, staring deeply at her. “Must I go?”

Janeway looked away. “You don’t belong here.”

“But what if…”

“There are too many “what if”s in this life to do anything
but send you back to where he belongs.”

Chakotay nodded. “I suppose you’re right. You’re not
really my Kathryn – – but I’m afraid of how long we’ve been
apart, how much I’ve missed…”

Janeway turned to look at him. “I’m sure she loves you and
misses you just as much as I miss my… first officer.”

Chakotay grinned, reminding her of her commander’s dusky
smile. He strode onto the platform, and turned to her again.
“Absence maketh the heart grow fonder, Captain.”

Janeway returned the older man’s smile as he disappeared in
a shimmering wisp of blue plasma.

************************************************************

Janeway’s smile faded after a few minutes of impatient
waiting. She clutched Harry’s sleeve as she stood next to him,
not even blinking as she watched the platform as if her whole
life lay upon it. *Maybe it does,* thought Janeway, her heart in
her throat. The blood pumped in her head, and she nearly sank
physically from the pure fear. Finally, she turned from the
transporter and walked toward the door, her heart heavy and the
salt water brimming in her eyes. In a froggy whisper, she
croaked, “Scan for…”

But her order was countermanded by a burst of white light
from the transporter. Janeway was thrown to the floor by the
blast, and Tuvok and Harry fell behind the console.

Janeway pushed the stray hair from her face, her bun
hanging loosely by a single pin. She blinked the dizziness from
her eyes, and saw Chakotay, HER Chakotay, bending over her with
grave concern in his face. “Chakotay!” she gasped, the tears
sparkling in her eyes radiating pure joy.

Chakotay grinned at her, the beaming from her eyes so like
the Janeway he had just left. He put his arm around her waist as
if to help her up, but neither made a move to regain their
equilibrium. “Yes… Kathryn,” he said, deliriously happy as he
saw the pleasure in her eyes.

She pushed herself up a little higher with one arm, and
wrapped her free arm around his shoulders, as he drew his head
towards hers. They kissed softly, even more sweet than their
alter realities had led them to imagine.

Janeway pulled away, nodding towards the console where
Tuvok and Harry lay just behind. Chakotay grinned and helped her
up, just as Tuvok and Harry staggered up from behind the console.
They shared a enigmatic smile, and they left the room as Tuvok
began to spurt technobabble. Tuvok closed his mouth, and ignored
Harry’s repressed smirk.

************************************************************

Meanwhile, another, older Janeway clenched a 27-years-older
console as a similar thread of blue revealed a gray-haired man
with a prominent tattoo. Tears sparkled in the unfaded blue
eyes, and a long lingering, ageless kiss was exchanged, unheeding
of Lt. Kim and Commander Tuvok. God was in his heaven, and all
was right with every world.

************************************************************

The two commanding officers walked down the strangely empty
hall towards the turbolift. As they stepped inside, Janeway
murmured resolutely, “Captain’s Quarters.”

She turned to Chakotay, who remained mute, a shadow of a
smile playing on his lips and glimmering in his eyes. Janeway
was relived to see it again. In a low voice he said, “When would
you like my report on this?”

Janeway smiled mysteriously at Chakotay. “How about right
now… in my quarters?”

Chakotay grinned as he heard the words he had put not-so-
subtly in her full red mouth. “You’re the captain.”

************************************************************

Janeway strode into her quarters, remembering how his older
counterpart had been in here only a few hours before. “Coffee,
black.”

Chakotay turned to Janeway as she sat down on the couch
beside her. “Well, I suppose you know about the alternate
reality already.”

“Some of it.”

“The…”

“Daughter, etc.” Janeway said, then sobered. In a small
voice she said, “What did you think?”

“What?”

“Me… the two of us… married…” faltered Janeway
hesitatingly.

Chakotay blushed, smirking slightly. “You will never grow
old, Captain…”

Janeway knitted her brow. “Captain?”

“I’ve always called you Captain, Captain.” said Chakotay.

“What about just now in the transporter room?”

“I don’t know… it just seemed to be the right thing to
do… it felt right.” said Chakotay. “Why?”

Janeway stared into her cup with a whimsical little smile.
“Oh, I don’t know, it just felt right for you to say it.”

With this frank admission, Chakotay sidled closer to her,
carefully enveloping her hands in his as he extricated her cup
from her clenched fingers. He moved his hands from hers only
long enough to put the mug aside, and then to stroke the last few
pins from her hair gently, his fingers caressing her face, slowly
tilting her chin up to him. Janeway had briefly experienced his
embrace and those of his alter-ego, but it was nothing compared
to this – – his lips consuming hers passionately, his arms
enveloping her warmly.
He broke away from her mouth, smiling down at her half-
tilted body. He opened his mouth to speak, but Janeway pressed
her finger to silence him, looking gravely at him. She could
feel his mouth frown from beneath it, and his eyes cloud with
confusion as she shook her head blankly. “Not here, not yet,
Chakotay.” she murmured. Her hand moved from his lips to his
chest, making a mild attempt to put distance between them. She
could feel his heart pounding under her palm, as fast or faster
than the thundering of her own.

Janeway stared at Chakotay’s features for the longest time,
unable to discern the emotion on his face – – it was almost
devoid of any. The dawning realization of the impact of her
words made her blush furiously. She opened her mouth to
apologize, but it was Chakotay’s turn to silence her. “I
understand completely… Captain.” he said slowly, “It was just
the… moment, I suppose.”

Janeway smiled wryly at Chakotay. “It’s not that I don’t –
– appreciate – – the affection, Chakotay… it’s just a bit fast
– – I realize you just came back from an alternate reality where
everything had been settled long before you got there, but here
we’ve still got alot of things to discuss… especially since
falling in love doesn’t just affect us…” Goaded by Chakotay’s
sudden grin at “falling in love,” she added, her lips curving
into a velvety half-smile as she did so, “But the first thing I’d
like to tell you is, you can call me Kathryn.”

Chakotay grinned again, fired up by her frank admission,
stroked her hair again, sending a heady aroma from her cascading
curls, but he reigned in his every instinct, assisting Janeway
aright again. He held onto her arm, whispering calmly, “You
know, we have all the time in the world – – or rather, 75 years –
– to work through this… and I’m very patient, Kathryn.”

She blushed, smoothing her hair back behind her ears into
some semblance of order. As she pulled a last veiling lock from
in front of her eyes, she noticed Chakotay’s intense gaze, its
penetrating look silently worshipping her every move and glance.
Crimsoning hotly, she nevertheless turned slightly towards him
again.

The embarrassed and almost shy look flitting across her
lips, for the first time, combined with the disarray of her hair,
the flush of her cheeks and the challenge in her brilliant eyes
so enchanted him it was impossible for him to do anything but
sweep his hands around her throat, burying his fingers in her
warm hair, and kiss her again, as old equals and new lovers.
Janeway felt a surge of jubilance and victory, her entire body
responding to the kiss. She relished it for a few minutes, and
suddenly pulled away, smiling, “I have bridge duty now.”

As they separated outside of her quarters, Chakotay watched
her disappear down the corridor, then glanced back at the clock
in her quarters. “It’s 10 minutes until the shift change!” he
thought, puzzled.

At the same time, Janeway was smiling to herself. “Always
leave them wanting more,” she laughed, ever fully the captain.

************************************************************

Posted in Voyager | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Fire Burns

************************************************************

\”The Fire Burns\”

************************************************************

\”Cold Fire\” Continum

by emmyodd@aol.com

************************************************************

Editor\’s Note : This story begins in the last few minutes
of \”Cold Fire,\” when Susperia has just been released from the
force field.

************************************************************

The child stared at Janeway. \”You show me mercy, even
though I would destroy you?\”

Janeway nodded.

\”Then I will do the same,\” she said, touching the Captain\’s
shoulder. A flash of light filled the room, and Janeway blinked.
The worm-like creature that was Susperia was gone. Gasping,
Janeway dimly heard Chakotay\’s voice.

\”Captain, according to our latest scans, we\’re…\” he
gasped.

\”We\’re…?\” goaded Janeway.

\”We\’re… home. Well, less than two weeks from the
Demilitarized Zone,\” he said.

Janeway didn\’t know what to say. A wave of emotions surged
through her, not all good. She said, \”On my way,\” with an odd
undercurrent that quirked Tuvok\’s eyebrow.

************************************************************

Two weeks later, Janeway sank into her Ready Room chair
with a sigh. Her sigh was echoed by her First Officer who had
followed her inside. She turned swiftly, perplexed.

\”What\’s wrong?\” she asked. \”I thought you\’d be overjoyed
to know you\’ll soon be off this ship and out of my jurisdiction,\”
she smiled.

Chakotay didn\’t laugh at her wry comment as he would
have… before. He took a deep breath. He could say anything
now, as they inched closer and closer to his… home. That sent
a whole new thought through his head: WAS it home? Was it
anything like when he\’d left? Did he belong there anymore? He
shook that from his head, and concentrated on the captain and
what he would say as his farewell.

He could say almost anything : He could tell her how much
he resented her command, how horrible it felt to be Starfleet
again, how he hated her and everything she stood for.

But he couldn\’t – – it wasn\’t true.

But he couldn\’t say what he really felt anymore than he
could lie and utter the blasphemous untruths. He couldn\’t look
deeply into her eyes, tell her how he wished they could be lost
in the Delta Quadrant forever – – together – – grasping her
lovely face in his hands and drawing her lips to his. That was
impossible – – now more than ever. He sighed again, looking at
her with a dull ache gleaming in his eyes.

\”Captain, I won\’t be leaving.\”

\”What?\” she said.

\”You\’re granting me and the other former Maquis a pardon,
right?\”

She nodded, unable to fathom what he was driving at.

\”And with a pardon you\’ll ask for our reinstation into
Starfleet, with the field promotions?\”

Janeway nodded, realization dawning on her but emotion
still keeping her from speaking.

\”So of course we\’ll have to be commissioned somewhere?\”

Janeway\’s mouth dropped open, still mute. Tears budded in
her eyes, but she viciously blinked them away, not wanting to
show her heart-felt happiness to her First Officer.

\”You want me to request you be commissioned on Voyager?\”
she said after a breathless pause.

It was now Chakotay\’s turn to nod blankly.

Janeway tried to hide the spreading flush of joy, but was
unable to, and she found she didn\’t care anymore. Finding her
voice again, which now rang with happiness, she said, \”I can\’t
think of anyone I would rather have as my… First Officer.\”

Chakotay grinned happily. \”Yes, Captain.\”

************************************************************

After he left, Janeway felt oddly racked with an
inexplicable sense of guilt. But she didn\’t have anything to
feel guilty about: over the course of her year as Captain of
Voyager, she had behaved immpeccably, beyond reproach. It was
laughable for her to think otherwise.

But she did. With a sigh she recalled how she had put
Mark\’s picture in a file cabinet just the other day, almost ready
to say the words she\’d been forming on her lips silently for
months.

Only months? Only a year since she\’d said goodbye to Mark
– – a year she thought would only last three weeks at the time,
and only a few weeks ago she had thought would last forever?

Forever. She had thought so many things would last
forever: her parents, her dogs, her alligance to Starfleet, her
relationship with Mark.

And then, it seemed only one thing was forever: Voyager and
its crew, in deep deep space, beyond the point where the light of
familiar stars could touch them. Voyager and its crew. Her
crew. First Tuvok, her old friend. Then youthful Harry and
jaded Tom. Then fiery B\’Elanna, goofy Neelix, sweet Kes, and
Chakotay. Chakotay. Yes, he was her crew now, her first
officer.

\”Only that and nothing more,\” she thought, an echoing
refrain that was first uttered by a demonic raven hundreds of
years ago, now haunted the captain of Voyager. She ran her hands
through her hair, ignoring the fact that she was ruining her bun,
the visible sign of the barriers of captaincy, deaf to the
clatter of pins on the desk.

DID she want anymore?

WAS there anymore to… anything?

She stood up, shaking her head, partially to loosen her
hair from the remaining confining pins, but more to clear her
head from the insane thoughts running through her head. There
was nothing between them – – nothing.

If only she could belive it.

Janeway sighed. Subspace communication to Earth would be
possible in a few hours. Mark would have to be contacted.

But what would she say?

************************************************************

Chakotay suffered from the same agonizing ambivilance the
captain did. His animal guide refused to come to comfort him,
and everything he saw, smelt, or even touched reminded him of her
– – maybe even more what he touched agonized him because he would
never have that right.

And he had practically begged for her to commission him on
Voyager once they got home. Why?

Because she was a good captain he\’d come to trust in a sea
of bueracracy?

Maybe.

Because he wouldn\’t feel right on any other ship, under any
other command?

Better, and yet still only an excuse.

Because he was in love with her and wanted to be close to
her forever, even if she never acknowledged him?

The naked truth in that statement, almost as much a
question as an answer, knocked him backward physically onto his
bunk. WAS he in love with Janeway? He thought hard, the
questions and answers melting together in his mind as he drifted
off to sleep, where even in his dreams, or maybe even more so
there, her face now haunted him.

************************************************************

Janeway\’s voice was the one that roused him a few hours
later. \”Commander, I just thought you\’d like to know we\’re
within subspace communication range now – – I just sent my
requests into Starfleet Headquarters.\”

Chakotay ran a hand through his head. Had he only imagined
a waver in her tone? \”Understood. Thank you, Captain.\”

Even he didn\’t quite know what he was thanking her for.

************************************************************

Janeway was telling the truth when she said she\’d sent her
request to Starfleet HQ, but the worst was yet to come. What to
say to Mark – – and what NOT to say. She cleared her throat
uneasily, and turned to face the computer\’s monitor with a false
smile on her lips.

\”Mark – – this is Kathryn. We\’re finally home. I don\’t
know how this message will reach you, but I will be – – happy – –
to see you again. We should reach Earth in a few weeks.\” She
sighed, and added as a dutiful afterthought: \”I love you.\”

As she sent the communication off, she buried her face in
her hands.

************************************************************

Chakotay had no one to send a subspace to. His mother and
father were killed in the original revolt, his sister held
hostage by the Cardassians, then shot before his eyes via a
viewscreen, where he was helpless to save her. Had someone told
him at that moment he might have a child by a Cardassian woman,
he would have laughed at them.

Chakotay turned from that chilling thought to what lay
ahead, almost equally as fearful – – at least to him. Once
Starfleet sent the go-ahead for the pardons, most of the Maquis
would be dropped off at various places as per their requests.

Chakotay didn\’t really want to go back to Dorvan V, but
Janeway had insisted he go at least for a little while before he
came to Earth to recieve his promotion. It was only to a full-
fledged Commander – – Janeway had wanted him to accept captaincy
– – but it was enough for him. That Janeway was practically
shoving him out of Voyager, supposedly for his own good, was a
slap in the face. She probably wanted him gone for good, but was
too big-hearted to deny his request.

He paced, raging silently about this for a few minutes,
until an almost timid beep jarred him from his furious
speculations. \”Come.\”

Janeway stepped through the doorway only halfway – – and
stepped back into the hallway a quarter-step at the sight of his
face. \”I\’m sorry…\” she stammered, her wary blue eyes wide and
her half-illuminated form catching the light and darkness in a
gorgeous symmetry of both.

His face softened, his dark thoughts vanishing. The scowl
lifted, replaced by an uneasy grin. \”Think nothing of it. It\’s
just a mood.\”

Janeway stepped further inside, the light from the hallway
briefly enveloping her in a golden effulgence before the door
swished shut on the dim room. She edged towards him, eyes soft
and bright as she surveyed him. \”Why? I thought you\’d be happy
to get home.\”

\”I thought you would too,\” he pointed out, making her blush
in the faint light. \”You\’ve been so anxious to get home to that
Mark-person.\”

Janeway didn\’t blush… instead, she paled to near ice-
white in the starlight. \”I suppose so… I guess it\’s just
rather anticlimactic, I guess. I guess I was finally about to
accept that we wouldn\’t get home…\”

She let the tantalizing phrase hanging between them like a
curtain – – replacing the solid barricade of before. It still
shrouded her feelings, but every so often it would flutter a bit
from a sigh or a gentle gust of breath, and reveal a piece of her
he\’d never seen before. As it filled him with a new sense of
hope, it smothered it quickly. She was Mark\’s, or rather, Mark
was hers. It wasn\’t his place to assume…

Or hope.

************************************************************

A few days later, Starfleet sent a lengthy subspace back to
Voyager, granting full pardons to the Maquis crew for their
service and promoting Commander Chakotay, as well as B\’Elanna
Torres to Lieutenant so they, as well as any Maquis who wished
so, could be commissioned to Voyager.
There was no word from Mark.

************************************************************

Chakotay sighed as he finished reading the Starfleet
subspace. He was back in Starfleet, full pardon. No going back
now… but back to what?

************************************************************

More than a year after their original departure, Voyager
finally arrived on Earth. Janeway sighed. She hadn\’t been the
same since they\’d left Dorvan V. Tuvok hadn\’t suspected the
cause of the captain\’s melancoly, and had anyone suggested it was
because of who they\’d beamed down there, he\’d have dismissed it
as illogical – – his captain would never react to any officer\’s
departure so negatively – – she never had before.

Nevertheless, Janeway had been a changed person since the
Maquis, except B\’Elanna, who wanted to return to Earth with
Janeway, had left Voyager one by one, the one left on Dorvan V
unwittingly carrying her heart as a souvenir. It hadn\’t in the
least showed in her captaincy of the ship, nor in the set of her
face as she was greeted by Admiral Necheyev a few minutes ago.

But as she saw Earth, her home, she viewed it with new
eyes. It was where she had been born, where she learned and grew
up – – where she fell in love with Mark.

But now it seemed like a fetter, a huge planetary cage that
had a stronghold on her that was confining and irrevocable. The
change, so long repressed, sprung to her eyes as saltwater tears
which flowed freely down her face as she hung her head.

Tom Paris, who was a bit teary himself, didn\’t think
anything of Janeway\’s outburst. He got up after he put the ship
in space dock, hugging her. Janeway was comforted by the
gesture, as she was with the hugs and tears shared by the entire
Bridge crew, even Tuvok. It was as she had dreamed so many times
as they sped towards home.

Except Chakotay wasn\’t there. His seat was empty, as
Janeway hadn\’t bothered with promoting Tuvok for the short
duration of their journey. She now regretted that decision – –
the empty chair upset her more than Tuvok\’s stoic form in it ever
could.

And it was by her own folly it was so: Chakotay wasn\’t
exactly enthusiastic about staying on Dorvan V, even for a few
weeks. It wasn\’t necessary, he told her, as he practically
begged her to let him stay. But Janeway had been adamant, no
reason for her stubborness except to put distance between them so
she could think – – about everything…

************************************************************

Even after convincing him to stay on Dorvan V for a few
weeks, Janeway had practically had to drag Chakotay onto the
platform when they arrived in orbit around his home planet.

Until he could no longer see Voyager after it left orbit,
Chakotay held the hope that she would change her mind and beam
him back aboard, to the point that he\’d imagined her eyes filling
with those eloquent, silent tears as she turned to beam him back
aboard, rushing to hug him when he rematerialized on the
platform, saying she was a fool to try to shove him out of her
life, whispering that she loved him.
And he imagined himself kissing her hair, dispite the
ensign behind the console a few meters away, whispering that it
didn\’t matter anymore… nothing did, as long as they were
together.

Maybe that hope shone in his eyes as Janeway said a brief,
meaningless goodbye… or maybe it shone in her own. Maybe it
was a shared vision that neither could fufill… yet.

************************************************************

Either way, he was gone now. And now, without him, she
felt still more confused than ever.

She tried to think logically, trying to convince herself
that she was worrying about nothing but effimate touches and
meaningless gazes, that there was nothing to assume or wish for,
but her heart clubbed her brain senseless, dazing both.

************************************************************

Chakotay, sitting on a cliff on a planet millions of miles
away from her now, sighed. He\’d been welcomed back with open
arms by his father\’s tribe, who were more than happy to include
even the prodigal son of their long-deceased leader.

But when they learned he was Maquis no longer, now back in
Starfleet, going against his father\’s wishes for him again, the
smiles grew wooden, the impulsive hugs and kisses of welcome all
but gone.

In fact, the only one who even spoke to him of their own
accord was Kat, his third or fourth cousin by some long-forgotten
marriage. She was a visitor to Dorvan V as well, only she was
welcome here. She had always been a favorite with her much-older
cousin, dispite the fact that she was one of dozens and the blood
kinship was extremely diluted.

When he\’d originally left Dorvan V, she wasn\’t even born –
– he didn\’t know of her existence until years later, when she was
eight. Her parents had been killed alongside his father, and she
was raised by aunts and uncles most of her life.

He had come back then for a reason similar to the one he
had come back for now: to find what little of his family and
tribe had survived. Only then he was an honored Maquis Captain
in the eyes of his tribe, not a turn-coat Starfleet Officer.

He would have gone eight more years unknowing he had a
living cousin, had she not gone looking for him. More than
anything, she was the possesor of a curious spirit, so the first
moment she heard she had an adventurous cousin who was a Captain
of a starship, she had to see him.

She weedled his whereabouts in the mountains from not-so-
closemouthed relations, packed a small pack, matter-of-factly
informed her aunt that she was going to find her cousin, and
left, just like that.

It didn\’t take very long, either. She took less than a
day, without any way of pinpointing him save her own senses.
When she did find him, it was on a cliff very much like the one
he sat on now, overlooking a wide plain of forestland. He\’d
nearly shot her when he detected her presence, but luckily she
was very agile (Or, if you asked Kat, she\’d modestly point out
that he was a really bad shot in the first place).

From that first encounter, they were fast, close friends,
dispite the initial phaser fire. The other cousins were a large
blur, and he could bearly keep their names straight, but right
off the bat he was her \”Cousin \’Kotay,\” and she was little
\”Katie,\” though he always thought of her as an adult, and held a
profound respect for her opinions on everything.

For the all too few years (But it felt like forever) they
knew each other, she was the only reason he returned to his home
planet. She was uncannily bright, with asperations for Starfleet
someday. Chakotay encouraged her studies, and he was deeply
saddened that he missed the last five years of her life.

As he thought of this, a pair of brown hands on his
shoulders shook him from his reverie. He looked up, finding a
grinning face, his own features in a merrier, younger, feminine
form, standing over him. He grinned in reply, and she flopped
down childishly beside him, her elbows on her knees and one hand
on her cheek and the other resting on the ground.

She turned to look at her cousin again, who was looking out
at the beautiful vista before them. But he wasn\’t happy like he
always was here – – he looked miserable. She nudged him gently,
asking quietly, \”What\’s wrong, \’Kotay?\”

He grinned at the old nickname, but sobered again when he
saw her worried face. The years hadn\’t taken the childishness
from her dark features completely, but had tempered them with a
bit of solemness, which made them inspire total candor even more.

He sighed. \”No one likes me here anymore, Kat.\”

\”I like you, Chakotay. The others are just disappointed.\”

\”But why? I\’ve done the best I could!\”

\”They want you to be a Maquis and honor your father again.\”

\”If I could I would, Kat – – and as for my father, I\’ve
honored him as best I could! What does THIS\” he gestured to his
forehead, \”stand for, if not for honoring my father!?\” He
continued, explaining his encounter with the \”sky spirits\” in
deep space, which led to his explaination of why he had become a
Starfleet Commander.

Kat nodded understandingly as he told her the stories, and
after he finished she shook her head. \”There\’s something you
haven\’t told me – – there\’s got to be a better reason why you\’re
not a Maquis anymore – – you felt so strongly about it. What is
it?\”

\”I\’ve become disallusioned with the Maquis,\” Chakotay
growled bitterly, then seeing Kat\’s face, poured out the whole
story, from Tuvok and Janeway to Seska\’s betrayal and beyond.

Kat\’s mouth formed an \”O\” and she said, \”Something tells me
you were very hurt about that – – at the time. But you\’ve long
since gotten over those hurts. There\’s something else – –
someone, but not this Seska person, is keeping you in Starfleet.\”

Chakotay smiled wryly. \”You always get to the heart of the
matter, even before I do. I guess it is Kathryn.\”

\”Kathryn?\”

Chakotay blushed, \”I mean Captain Janeway.\”

Detecting the fire in his eyes as well as the fire in his
cheeks, Kat shook her head. \”No, Chakotay, you meant Kathryn – –
because you\’re in love with her – – Am I right?\”

Chakotay nodded.

\”Is she in love with you?\”

Chakotay didn\’t move. \”I don\’t know – – her eyes say yes –
– but then I wonder why she shoved me off the ship.\”

Kat patted her cousin\’s arm. \”I\’d bet anything she needs
time – – she\’s been brought home when she thought she\’d never see
home again – – she has alot of thinking to do, Chakotay. You
need patience to see this through, a virtue I know you have tons
of.\”

\”But I have to decide now whether to go back on Voyager or
not – – they need my acceptance in a few days.\”

\”You must go back, Chakotay – – they need you, and you
don\’t belong here.\” Chakotay looked at her, stunned, until she
grinned sheepishly, saying, \”I\’ll need a Commander\’s letter of
recommendation if I expect to get into the Academy.\” Chakotay
smiled, and Kat hugged him warmly, saying, \”You didn\’t think I\’d
be left out of the adventure, did you?\”

After she left him on the cliff, Chakotay pulled out a PADD
Janeway had given him, silently reading an intercepted subspace
in the fading light of the sun. He looked up with a inner light
radiating from his features. \”I\’ll do it.\”
************************************************************

Admiral Necheyev greeted Janeway, in a blue dress and Mark,
in civilian black and white, as they arrived at the celebration.
No matter how technologically advanced Starfleet became, it
always cherished large, festive parties in ballrooms. \”You look
lovely, dear,\” she said, smiling.

Janeway forced a smile as she clutched the sides of her
skirt, saying, \”Thank you, Admiral. You remember Mark?\”

Mark grinned, and as the Admiral nodded approvingly,
Janeway, instead of a surge of love for him boiling up inside
her, could only think how his smile was rather pale and insipid
compared to…

Janeway shook the thought from her head as she looked
around. \”Where are the Maquis crewmen? Have they not arrived?\”

The Admiral looked slightly flustered. \”Umm… we were
unable to reach them…\”

Janeway spun around. \”I gave Starfleet specific locations
to find every crewman we dropped off on our way home, so they
could be reached when they were needed on Voyager. You COULD
contact them… you just chose not to. Why?\”

Admiral Necheyev lifted her head loftily, saying, \”They ARE
former convicts, Kathryn.\”

\”They are my crew, and they are loyal men and women whom I
value greatly,\” Janeway said, eyes flashing. \”They should be
invited to their own \’Welcome Home\’ party.\”

\”Well…\”

Janeway swept off before the Admiral could finish her
sentence, leaving Mark to smooth things over with the indignant
Necheyev.

He caught up with her a few minutes later, sweeping her
into his arms and whirling her around the dance floor. Janeway
was stiff, noticing how she no longer felt any electricity in his
embrace. As they spun around, Mark said, \”I need to tell you
something, Kathryn.\”

Janeway shuddered inside, but looked up and asked lovingly,
\”Yes?\”

\”Well, there\’s… someone else.\”

Janeway stopped in her tracks. \”What?\”

\”You\’d love her, Kathryn… she loves dogs, and she\’s a
perfect angel,\” he smiled.

\”And what about me?\” she said, secretly relieved deep
inside her shock.

\”I… don\’t know… I\’m sorry, Kathryn.\”

Janeway wrenched herself from him. In a cold voice that
had an eerie ring of jubilance in it, she said, \”I don\’t think
you should call me \”Kathryn\” anymore, Mark. Goodbye.\”

The crowds parted like the mythical Red Sea as Janeway beat
her stormy exit. Her eyes stung in anger and embarassment. She
had no one left now… no one. Conquering herself, she lifted
her head proudly so that no one would think her cowed. As she
looked up, she stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes focused on
a distant figure in dress uniform. Disbelief filled her mind – –
this was too much like the ancient movies – – but her eyes and
her heart told her differently.

No… it couldn\’t be…

But the cropped head and familiar tattoo could belong to no
other.

\”Chakotay,\” she whispered.

The faint whisper was heard by no one, not even those
closest to her in the room, and yet somehow it reached the ears
of a tall man across the room, echoing in his brain like a shout
never could. Maybe it was louder than she intended, maybe it was
the size of the room and the echo. Or maybe it was because he
had been listening for it ever since he stepped off the ship from
Dorvan V.

He lifted his head, amazed at what he saw staring back at
him, so familiar dispite the alien dress she now wore. It was
impossible – – too much as he had dreamed it for months now – –

No… it couldn\’t be…

But the deep blue eyes and shining auburn hair could belong
to no other.

It was a small miracle within that stupifying miracle that
neither crashed into anyone as they walked towards each other,
eyes unseeing, ears unhearing, hearts unheeding. Or maybe it was
merely that the crewmen and civilians milling around them saw the
looks in their commanding officer\’s eyes, which compelled them to
edge away from them.

When they reached each other, words wouldn\’t come.
Finally, in a strange, thick voice she said, \”I thought she
didn\’t tell you about this.\”

\”Admiral Necheyev didn\’t tell me about alot of things…
but that doesn\’t mean I don\’t find out eventually,\” he smiled,
breaking from his trance.

Janeway smiled back, her own haze clearing. But her smile
faded as she saw another man coming up behind Chakotay.

Chakotay turned to see what had paled her, and stiffened as
he, not knowing quite how he did, recognized his adversary.

Janeway broke the stillness with a terse, \”Hello, Mark.\”

Mark reached out to touch her hands, but Janeway edged from
his touch like he\’d been stricken with the plauge. His face
fell, but he continued anyway. \”I just wanted to say I\’m sorry
for hurting you.\”

Janeway smiled, dispite the fact that she was flaming
inside that their moment was broken, to say nothing of his gall,
fueled only by guilt, assuming she was heart-broken. So she
decided to be as painfully frank as he was. \”Mark, I want to
thank you for setting me free.\”

\”What?\” echoed Mark and Chakotay in unison, the latter
exultant and the former bewildered.

\”Mark, I said goodbye to you in my heart months ago. I
don\’t blame you for going on with your life… if we hadn\’t found
the wormhole, I would have as well. I was very happy with you
before, and I am very happy now without you, Mark, and I have you
to thank for both.\”

Mark was confused until he saw Chakotay\’s shadow looming
over Janeway\’s shoulder protectively. His eyes widened, and he
nodded in understanding. Janeway intercepted the look, and
hugged him one last time. She forgave him his arrogance. \”Go
and be happy,\” she whispered in his ear, finding the
understanding in her heart to bless him. He nodded, and
disappeared into the ebb and flow of the crowd one way as Janeway
did so in the opposite direction.

************************************************************

Chakotay turned to follow her outside and down a flight of
stairs, through a small garden that surrounded the perimeter of
the building to a small cliff overlooking San Fransisco Bay.
After a long moment of staring at the water and the stars, she
turned to face him.

The look in her eyes was unmistakable, and yet he found
himself forced to ask: \”Did you mean that?\”

Janeway was silent for another long moment, then looked at
him, smiling, \”Have you ever known me not to tell the entire
truth about anything?\”

Chakotay shook his head grinning as his hand found hers,
but he looked up again, still perplexed. \”But why did you send
me to Dorvan V if you loved me?\”

Janeway looked down, slipping her hand from his to rub her
arms to ward off the chill. \”I felt… obligated to him… I
never turn my back on what I\’m obligated to do.\”

Chakotay wrapped an arm around her, uttering a silent
thanks to Kat as he turned her to him again. \”Admiral Necheyev
offered me a commission back on Voyager, and I of course
accepted, but she\’s still wary of me.\”

Janeway smiled whimsically, wrapping her arms around his
waist happily. \”She\’s one woman… she can do nothing to you.\”

Chakotay smiled, stroking her chin with his free hand.
Smiling at her exquisite face he briefly cursed himself for ever
doubting… His voice rang with elation and triumph as he said,
\”But one woman can do so much, Kathryn… you got us home,
granted us pardon… and made me fall in love with you.\”

The moon was full, but the glow on her face was her own.
The stars glittered on the surface of the water, but the sparkle
in her eyes came from an inner well-spring of emotion. The wind
blew softly, but it was not the air that stirred over her face
gently before it was covered with his.

************************************************************

B\’Elanna, Tom, and Harry greeted Janeway and Chakotay as
they boarded Voyager a few months later. Janeway smiled at the
gold circlet on B\’Elanna\’s hand. It would appear that she and
Chakotay were not the only pair that Voyager\’s long journey home
had coupled.

She smiled, gesturing at Torres\’s hand. \”Am I to assume
that is from Harry?\” she said wryly, arching her eyebrow at Harry
Kim, who grinned sheepishly.

Tom butted in, grinning, \”Yes, Captain, you\’re looking at
the future Mrs. Harry Kim!\”

B\’Elanna scowled at Tom, but only briefly. \”I intend to
keep my own name, of course.\”

Janeway nodded. \”As do I, Miss Torres.\”

Harry, B\’Elanna and Tom stared blankly for a second, until
they saw the spreading grin on the Captain and Commander\’s faces.
Tom sprung up, seizing the oppertunity to heckle a new couple,
yelping, \”Chakotay, you old dog!\”

Janeway sighed, her hand moving instinctively to her
temple. Even after five years, she still wasn\’t used to Tom\’s
ravings. She looked to her fiancee, who shrugged eloquently.
They retreated down the hall to the turbolift as quickly as is
humanly possible, with Paris close behind them nevertheless.

Shaking their heads, B\’Elanna and Harry picked up their
duffels and strode down the corridor, the adventure beginning
once again.

************************************************************

FIN

Posted in Voyager | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Cap\’n Kate

DISCLAIMER: The plot is mine (and Mary\’s), but the characters,
along with a vast part of the universe as we know it, belongs to
Paramount and its affiliates.

************************************************************

\”Capin\’ Kate\”

************************************************************

by emmyodd@aol.com

************************************************************

Humbly dedicated to:

Mary Moore
(mgmoore@facstaff.wisc.edu)
for her wonderful plot idea, and unerring support,

Michelle Green
(tigger@cais.com, thepooh@aol.com)
for her continued inspiration to me, as well as countless other
writers,

and

Joan
(Jaeti@aol.com)
for helping me over a major bump in this story

************************************************************

\”Ok, Captain, you wanted a better holonovel: here you go,\”
said Paris devilishly as he whipped the blindfold away.

Janeway looked around at the holodeck. The salt air stung
her face, and the wooden deck rocked beneath her feet. She
stared at Paris. \”What is this?!?\”

\”A pirate ship!! Pretty amazing, huh?\” he said gleefully.

Janeway was too struck by the surroundings to speak, and
Paris patted her shoulder, striding toward the doors with a
careless, \”Now, don\’t be surprised if you see some familiar
faces: I programmed in some of the crew as characters. Enjoy!\”

Janeway, still strangely awestruck by the ship and its
rough crew that surrounded her, walked towards a rough-hewn door
to the Captain\’s quarters. Once inside, she found a pair of
leather pants, a soft, pale silk shirt, and gladiator boots.
Smiling somewhat to herself, she put them on, unpinning her hair
and pulling in back in a looser tie.

She felt a surge of adventure boil up in her blood as she
stepped out onto the deck of the ship again, the balmy breezes of
the Gulf stroking her face and rippling through her hair and
loose shirt like a caress.

She turned to the man hunched over the huge steering wheel,
asking, \”Where are we headed?\”

The man turned to her, his face strangely like Tuvok\’s, and
then again, strangely not. He croaked in a decidedly non-Vulcan
voice, \”We be headin\’ for the Spanish Main, Ca\’pin\’.\”

\”Excellent,\” grinned Janeway, thrilled to the tips of her
toes by the words \”Spanish Main.\” She turned to the helmsman
again, asking, \”What ship will we be attacking?\”

\”The pride of the Spanish fleet, La Dama de Oro. She\’s
rumored to have \’er weight in gold onboard, as well as a thousan\’
chests a rubies an\’ diamonds in \’er berth. A lovely gift to the
people of Ireland, eh, Ca\’pin\’?\”

Janeway frowned. \”Won\’t such a ship be guarded?\”

The man bowed deeply before her, almost touching his nose
to the deck. \”Nothing you, \”La Bella de Mar\”, canna handle, me
lady,\” he said.

\”When will we meet them?\”

\”A few hours, nae doubt. If\’n the wind picks up a bit,
maebbe less.\” Janeway was unused to such a vauge estimate, but
she nodded and went off to explore the rest of the ship.

************************************************************

The sun swung low in the holographic sky when Janeway
reappeared on the top deck. In the fading glimmer of the
gorgeous sunset, she could see a shadow of a far-off island, and,
closer to them, a glorious ship from which waved a Spanish flag.
\”La Dama de Oro!\” she whispered, her words echoed by the youthful
voice in the crow\’s nest high above her. She looked up,
squinting, and found a grimy version of Harry Kim grinning down
at her. \”Captain! She\’s but a few minutes away now!!\”

Janeway spent the next ten minutes in breathless
anticipation, watching as they bobbed ever nearer to the ill-
fated ship. Then with a primal cry, the ship dropped anchor, the
rag-tag crew swinging over like a human wave upon the poor Dama
de Oro. Blood poured into the salty sea, and the ship was
stripped bare of its booty. They lifted anchor, and Janeway
threw her head back as they sped from the ravaged ship.

A lusty cry began, swelling up, higher and louder as more
and more voices joined in the makeshift chorus. \”Hurrah for
Captain Kate!! Hurrah for the Irish Angel!!\”

************************************************************

The next day, as Janeway stepped onto the bridge, Paris
grinned over his shoulder to the Captain. \”Did you get to my
twist yet?\” he grinned.

\”What twist?\” asked Janeway.

\”Trust me – – you\’d know,\” he smirked, with a sideways
glance at Chakotay for no apparent reason.

Harry\’s voice interrupted them. \”We\’ll be ready for the
tests of the sight-to-sight transporters in a few hours,
Captain.\”

\”Good – – Commander, you\’re in charge of them,\” she nodded
to the Commander.

************************************************************

Later the same day, Janeway, back in her pirate garb, was
barking orders once again, reveling in the thrill of being a sort
of female Robin Hood on the seven seas. Suddenly, Harry\’s
smudged, disheveled face reappeared from the crow\’s nest, and a
stream of loud, harsh, unlovely cockney poured from his mouth:
\”Cap\’in Kate, we\’re being followed by a ship – – it looks like
one of the Armada.\”

\”The ARMADA?!\” said Janeway, running to get a better look
with her spyglass. It was one of the Spanish Armada all right,
and it looked like they wanted a fight. *And they\’ll get one*
she thought, grinning. \”Cannons at the ready, fire on my
command.\”

\”Aye.\”

The ship drew nearer, and she could see the figure of a man
standing at the prow of the ship, but the sun glinting off the
water blinded her for a split second, and his figure disappeared.
*Must have gone below,* she thought.

************************************************************

\”Here you go, B\’Elanna,\” grinned Paris oddly, handing her
the hand held transporter.

B\’Elanna passed it to Chakotay. \”Here, all you have to do
is enter the coordinates of the place, or the name of the room on
the ship, into the computer, and it will transport you to that
place.\”

\”All right. Here goes nothing.\” Chakotay disappeared in a
shimmer of blue, and B\’Elanna went to the console.

Harry turned, hearing a strangled gasp issue from B\’Elanna.
\”I… I can\’t find him, Harry!! He must be somewhere on the
ship, but I can\’t pinpoint his location!\”

\”We\’ll have to do a search of every room on this ship – –
it could take hours!!\”

B\’Elanna stared at Harry, seemingly unaware of a strange
gleam in Tom\’s eyes. \”Then that\’s exactly what we\’re going to
do.\”

************************************************************

*KA-BOOM!!* A huge explosion rocked the ship, nearly
blowing the entire side away. \”Cap\’in! We\’re gonna sink!!
We\’re all gonna die!!\” cried a crewman.

\”No,\” said Janeway, \”We are NOT going to die. We\’re going
to surrender.\”

\”WHAT?!?\”

\”Trust me!\” she snapped, and she stood on the prow of her
decimated ship, her chin held high. Even if her plan didn\’t
work, the safeties would save her from getting killed… or doing
something that was totally insane.

************************************************************

She heard gasps, Spanish and Irish alike, from all sides as
she grabbed a rope and swung aboard the ship, alighting far
enough from the elaborately dressed captain for her not to
discern his features, nor he hers. She heard murmurs of \”La
Bella de Mar!\” echoing around her as she walked forward, bowing
deeply just before him.

\”I am Captain Kathryn Janeway. I humbly surrender myself
and my crew to your just hands,\” she said grandly.

She looked up, finding herself staring into dark eyes,
uncharacteristically cruel, of her first officer. *TOM!* she
thought, realizing the impertinent twist Paris had inserted so
deviously into the holonovel.

The man with Chakotay\’s face growled, \”I am the Marquis de
Chakotay, and you are as good as dead, La Bella de Mar!\”

************************************************************

Chakotay shook the fog from his eyes, finding himself on a
ship, but definitely not Voyager. It was a large boat, circa
1700. He glanced around, and he saw a sinking ship before the
one he stood upon. An Irish flag flew, tattered, from the
cracked mast, and dozens of ill-clothed men were boarding the
ship, then being led below by men wearing sparkling uniforms,
like the one he now wore.

He looked down, and found a startlingly beautiful woman
kneeling before him. Then, she looked up at him with a fire in
her eyes. It wasn\’t until she said, \”I will gladly die for my
countrymen, Marquis de Chakotay!\” in a
passionate timbre that he recognized his Captain.

He repressed a desire to gasp as he recognized Kathryn
Janeway\’s face, uncannily tinted in a surreal flush, and he set
his face even more psuedo-stonily. \”And so you shall – – when we
get back to Spain.\”

************************************************************

Janeway wasn\’t so deeply involved in the holonovel that she
didn\’t see the irony of the situation that appeared before her.
A faint glimmer of a smile quirked her lips as she knelt proudly
before him. SHE was the rebel now, willing to sacrifice her life
for her people, and he was the Captain, only less forgiving. Her
eyes opened, finally understanding the man she\’d worked with for
so long. She pulled on her loose collar, suddenly uncomfortable.
She opened her mouth to command the end of the novel.

************************************************************

Chakotay stood, seeing the words forming on her lips,
unable to do or say anything to halt the words that would reveal
his identity to her. He held his breath silently, but Janeway\’s
voice was cut off by a louder one over the comm system.
\”Captain, there\’s something you should know.\”

\”Yes?\”

\”Commander Chakotay is missing,\” said B\’Elanna a tad too
recklessly.

\”MISSING?!\” gasped Janeway, leaping up, looking at
Chakotay, who was stock still. \”What do you mean?\”

\”He was testing one of the new site to site transporters –
– but now we can\’t find him. We\’re doing a search of the entire
ship, but it\’s still going to take a while.\”

\”I\’m on my way… Computer, show door.\”

The door remained hidden.

\”Computer, show door!\”

The door was still invisible.

\”B\’Elanna, why won\’t the doors to the holodeck open?\”

\”I don\’t know, Captain: it\’s probably just a computer
error, but you\’ll just have to sit tight until we find Commander
Chakotay.\”

\”That\’s fine – – make finding him your top priority.\” said
Janeway, with a soft glance in Chakotay\’s direction that made his
heart stop.

\”Yes, Captain.\”

Janeway sighed, slumping back to the deck with a resigned
air. \”Computer, freeze program.\”

\”Unable to comply.\”

Janeway rubbed her head. \”Guess there\’s no going back
now.\” she sighed, and resumed her defiant pose before Chakotay.

************************************************************

Chakotay breathed an inward sigh of relief – – he had
sucessfully dodged detection for now. But the more present
danger was Janeway – – and whatever she was planning to do. He
knew Janeway well enough to know she wasn\’t going to give up so
easily. But Chakotay was under the masculine impression,
undaunted by Seska\’s wiles, that he could take whatever she
dished out.

************************************************************

A few hours later, Janeway found herself alone in a cold,
damp brig below the rocking deck. She stretched out on the musty
straw that lined the floor, eyeing the metal bars that slashed
the dim lantern light that poured from an unknown source outside
of the room. She closed her eyes, attempting to rest, but a
clank and a turn of a key echoing through the hollow brig brought
her to attention. A Spanish officer picked his way through the
dingy room, and he yelled, \”Up! The Captain wishes to see you!\”

************************************************************

Janeway followed the officer meekly into a palacial room.
She stood, awestruck by the gorgeousness of the room, her eyes
roving the room until her gaze rested on the \”Marquis\”\’s
impressive form behind a ornate mahogany desk. She wanted to
smile at the familiar face, but it was so alien at the same time
that she only nodded. \”You wish to see me, sir?\”

\”Marquis\” Chakotay stared at the lovely woman, her face
clouded with an undiscernable emotion, her thick curls clouded by
a film of dust and straw. He gathered his wandering thoughts,
and drew his brows together. \”Yes… we have decided you will be
more useful to us guiding us out of the Gulf than below in the
brig. Unless you wish to remain a prisoner…?\”

\”Very well,\” said Janeway, an idea springing into her mind,
\”I will assist you. But what do I get in return?\”

Chakotay attempted to smile villianously, but in \”Capin\’
Kate\”\’s view, it was overwhelmingly charismatic. \”My word that
you and your crew will be pardoned by the Spanish when we
return.\”

\”And why should I belive that?\”

\”I\’ve given you my word – – that\’s all I have.\”

\”I don\’t buy it.\”

\”Fine – – here,\” he said, pulling a finely-wrought chain of
silver, from which dropped a small stone of brilliant blue, from
around his neck, and handed it to her, his eyes strangely
transfixed on her. \”This is my pledge to you that you and your
crew will go free. If not, you may keep it. It\’s worth all the
gold on this ship.\”

\”Very well, sir. I accept your offer.\”

************************************************************

And so Janeway found herself installed as a sort of first
mate upon the ship. Janeway shuddered a bit whenever she thought
of her new title… *dreadful pun!* It was a bit interesting to
toy with the idea of really serving under Chakotay – – even if it
was on a very different ship, with very different crewmen. She
almost found herself relishing having to report to someone else –
– but then again, she could always go back to being the Captain,
and Chakotay was stuck serving under her for the rest of his
life…

Nevertheless, during the hours she spent on the holodeck
working for Chakotay, she found herself respecting, trusting, and
understanding her first officer more implicitly as she worked
beside his image \”day\” after \”day.\”
She wondered why nothing happened, although she wasn\’t bored, she
was getting a little apprehensive.

Her apprehension proved fortuitous. The very next \”day,\” a
cry arose from above. \”Marquis! There\’s a storm off the port
bow!\” cried a Spanish sailor from the crow\’s nest.

But it was too late for warning… the storm was on them
seconds later, tossing the ship on the huge waves that had swept
up. \”Hurricane!\” cried the crew.

The white uniforms of the crew became rain drenched as they
scurried to steer the ship to safety, but they were unsuccessful.
Chakotay turned to Janeway desprately. \”You know these waters…
what do we do??\”

\”You\’ll have to trust me… and let my crew help!\” yelled
Janeway, tossing her hair from her face.

\”Fine! Here\’s the key – -\” he yelled back, pressing the
large ring of brass keys into her palm. \”Hurry!\”

Janeway dashed below to the brig, freeing her crew with a
hasty, \”Hurricane!\”, which explained everything. The crew ran to
their posts, aiding their enemies in this time of crisis.

Janeway rushed above, yelling to her crew in an instinctive
fashion, although they didn\’t hear a thing she said in the
horrible roar of the wind and waves. She hustled around, adding
her strong arms wherever she could. Suddenly, a huge wave tossed
the ship into the air, sending it crashing into the sea
violently, shoving Janeway to and fro on the deck. Janeway had
never been so tired — she had been operating automatically, her
brain in a fog. Through her exhaustion, she heard Chakotay
order, \”Take her to my quarters to rest.\” Too tired even to
protest, Janeway staggered after the crewman to the quarters, and
collapsed on the bunk – – instantly asleep.

************************************************************

A few hours (or was it days?) later, Janeway sat up, very
concious of her location and of a splitting headache. She
groaned, grasping her head as she tried to look around. A pair
of arms pushed her back down onto the soft sofa gently, applying
a compress, horribly clammy and wet, onto her forehead, which
eased the intense pain somewhat.

The compress shifted, and Janeway slowly opened her eyes,
and found herself face-to-face with Chakotay. For a split second
she was in a haze, wondering how Chakotay had gotten into her
holonovel, as well as conciously resisting the desire she found
boiling up to call his name. Then the fact that it was only a
program with Chakotay\’s face came crashing down, and Janeway
groaned miserably.

Chakotay mistook this for pain, and he lifted the compress
from her head, murmuring, \”How are you, Kathryn?\”

\”Terrible.\” she sighed, realizing she was very cold and
horribly wet at that moment. She shivered, sitting up.

\”Here,\” said Chakotay, handing her a steaming mug as he sat
down beside her on the sofa.

Janeway\’s face was warmed by the heat radiating from the
cup, but her insides revolted, and she shook her head tiredly,
her head drooping onto the opposite arm of the sofa.

\”That can\’t be comfortable, Kathryn, lean on me.\” Even
coming from a seemingly psuedo-Chakotay, the words rang true of
their entire relationship. Janeway had always elevated herself
from her crew, even Chakotay, despite his arguments that it was
unecessary, even unhealthy. Whenever she\’d been down, he\’d
offered a shoulder to cry on, but no matter how she wanted to,
she had always refused. But this time, she could find no reason
to resist. She closed her eyes, now very warm, wondering why
she\’d spurned his friendly advances before. As she sat there,
she realized: it wasn\’t rank, it wasn\’t Mark, it was that she\’d
wanted more than friendship, and in all appearances, he didn\’t.

************************************************************

How wrong, for once in her life, Janeway was! As Janeway
had slept, and as she leaned on him now, Chakotay had had a
thousand thoughts crowd in his head. He had totally fallen for
her – – when he wasn\’t quite certain – – but as she lay there,
only a few meters from him, her hair damp against her face and
neck, he realized he couldn\’t go on not knowing how she felt
about him… even having her laugh in his face was better than
this hopeless musing.

Janeway opened her eyes, finding Chakotay staring down at
her. She sat up, asking \”Yes?\” a trifle dazedly.

Chakotay edged nearer to Janeway, who was breathtaking even
in, or perhaps because of, her disheveled pirate garb. He opened
his mouth, and the words he\’d kept inside for as long as he\’d
served under her poured out like a dam breaking. \”I\’ve fallen in
love with you, Kathryn.\”

************************************************************

Janeway\’s wan smile faded. \”What?\”

\”I\’ve fallen in love with you, Kathryn.\” repeated Chakotay,
an eerie echo of another holonovel: one she wanted desprately to
forget. She looked at the eyes of the magnetic face, a mirror
image of a man she was so attracted to in reality. But the
nagging memory of the horrible Lord Burliegh repulsed her, and
she shoved him away desprately.

She stood up, suddenly angry. \”You can\’t love me! You\’re
just a program Tom put into this stupid holonovel that I can\’t
get out of! The real Chakotay isn\’t madly in love with me, and
never will be! It isn\’t possible, it isn\’t even thinkable!\”

Her cheeks burned in humiliation at her stupidity, and
anger, which was worse, mainly because it was directed at an
unfeeling, unseeing, unthinking projection of light and energy
that had manipulated itself into this intimidating form that she
had fooled herself into thinking really was Chakotay, really was
in love with her, and that she was in love with him… She sank
to the floor, burying her face in her hands, wishing this would
all end soon, not hearing the murmured command, nor the shimmer
of the disappearing holoprogram dissipating around her.

A hand slipped across her shoulders in a familiar touch,
and a familiar gust of breath cooled her hot face, stained with
ignored tears. She looked up, and she saw the grid of the
holodeck around her, back in her uniform, and the real Chakotay,
back in his own crimson uniform, looking down at her, smiling.
\”But Captain, I AM real – – and I do love you.\” he said, stroking
her face with real, human tenderness.

\”You mean, they were searching all over for you… and you
were here all along?? And I… and you…??\” she sputtered.

\”I couldn\’t find my comm badge to contact B\’Elanna, and I
sure as hell wasn\’t about to use yours – -I nearly decimated our
chance for this once – – with Seska – – and I was not going to
throw away this one.\”

\”This?\” she asked, quite aware of what \”this\” was, but
wanted to hear him say it.

\”This,\” he whispered, drawing her close to him.

After the longest moment of her life, Janeway felt
something press against her neck, and found the delicate silver
chain was still there. \”This chain… it should have disappeared
with the rest of the holonovel.\”

\”No, it shouldn\’t have,\” said Chakotay, his hands over
hers, fingering the tiny glistening stone pendant. \”It\’s mine…
or rather, yours.\”

\”I\’m afraid I don\’t understand…\” murmured Janeway.

\”I\’ve kept it with me, around my neck, since my mother died
in the first attack on our planet… it was hers, and my father
gave it to her years ago… I never showed it to Seska – – she
even knew I wore it – – but somehow, when I found myself with you
in that holonovel, I knew that I should give it to you.\”

His words struck a chord in her heart, and she looked up at
him, the beam in her eyes drowned slightly by a film of budding
saltwater. She didn\’t know quite what to say – – words just
didn\’t seem appropriate. Luckily, Kathryn Janeway was blessed
with the God-given gift of startlingly eloquent blue eyes that
said everything her numb lips could not. She blinked slowly,
delibrately, jewels of shining water droplets splashing down on
her pale cheeks and the vivid crimson of her uniform.

The dark spots on her shoulder reminded her that B\’Elanna
was still looking for Chakotay. It wasn\’t until Janeway twisted
a bit away to tap her comm badge that she realized how intimately
they had been sitting on the holodeck floor, and how cool the
room actually was. Her dark voice rang through the room like a
bell, shattering the gorgeous moment like a beautiful hammer.
\”Janeway to Torres.\”

\”Yes, Captain?\”

\”I seem to have found the Commander,\” murmured Janeway with
a strange inflection in her serene voice.

\”Yes, Captain?\”

\”Well, it would appear that Commander Chakotay was beamed
into the holonovel, and I wasn\’t able to find him until just
now,\” she continued, her hand finding Chakotay\’s in a gentle
squeeze.

\”What?!?\” B\’Elanna cried, trying to maintain total shock in
her tone.

\”I can\’t explain it either,\” she said.

\”Well, it would appear that his comm badge was off-line – –
his location just showed up, Captain,\” said B\’Elanna.

\”Well, now that we\’ve fixed this, can you open the holodeck
doors?\” asked Janeway, suddenly very tired.

\”Yes, Captain.\”

With this, the heavy door slid open, and the bright light
of the corridor shone into the dim gridded room. Janeway stood,
striding towards the passage way, as if to deny everything that
had taken place like one waking from a dream.

She had her foot over the threshold when a hand grasped her
shoulder, enveloping it completely in its grasp. She turned, and
found herself staring into Chakotay\’s unfathomable gaze.
Something in the depths of his eyes bored into her, making her
slightly afraid. For some reason she couldn\’t explain, she found
her heart thrashing uncomfortably in her chest. And yet, she
couldn\’t turn away.

In a thick, raspy baritone so low she could barely hear it,
Chakotay said, \”Must you go?\”

Janeway was at a loss. Her head spun at the thought of
what effect her words might have. She looked at Chakotay.
\”No… yes… I don\’t…\”

She finally realized she couldn\’t make a fool of herself
anymore – – her pride simply wouldn\’t let her – – so she just
shook her head, slipping from his grasp and rushing from the room
at breakneck speed.

************************************************************

Janeway plunged down the empty corridor, dodging all
crewmen – – except the hapless Tom Paris. In five seconds they
were sprawled on the floor in a heap. Janeway, very near an
undignified self-implosion, lept up shakily. She resumed her
path to the nearby turbolift, where Tom caught up with her and
followed her in before she could protest.

She groaned inwardly, trying to keep herself together for a
few more minutes. Tom noticed the Captain\’s worn face, and
asked, \”Didn\’t you like the holonovel and the twist?\”

Janeway looked as if she could murder poor Tom on the spot.
\”LIKE?!? How DARE you put Commander Chakotay in that
holonovel?!?\”

\”It was a little joke, Captain…\”

\”Some joke!\” she growled.

\”It was in your best interest, honestly! B\’Elanna and
Harry agreed…\”

\”Agreed about what?!? That I\’d benefit from some stupid
program that included an image of my first officer?!?\”

\”IMAGE? You mean we didn\’t put the real Chakotay in the
holonovel…?\” Tom knew he\’d blown it the minute the words came
out of his mouth.

\”That wasn\’t an accident?!? You PLANNED this?\” said
Janeway murderously.

Tom backed into the lift\’s wall, blubbering, \”Captain,
I…\”

\”Save your stupid excuses, Tom! As facsinating as my love
life and the Commander\’s are, we certainly don\’t need the likes
of you toying with them!!\” she spat, the lift door opening,
leaving Tom, ashen-faced, staring at the lift door as it closed.

************************************************************

Janeway paced her room for an hour, gradually shedding hair
pins and uniform, donning a robe and nightgown as she stalked the
long room. She clenched her fists, ramming her long fingers
through her hair. *Chakotay was probably in on it too – – didn\’t
mean a word of it – – one big joke on the Captain!* she thought
angrily, cursing herself for even imagining – – hoping – – that
Chakotay – –

She was still raging when a beep signaled her door. She
turned to confront it, snapping, \”Come.\”

The door slid away, revealing Chakotay, just off duty,
slightly agape at what he saw. He\’d never seen the Captain so
insensed, nor so lovely as at that moment. But why? He stood
still, almost afraid to step forward. \”What\’s wrong, Captain?\”

\”What\’s wrong? What\’s WRONG?!?\” snapped Janeway. \”Don\’t
pretend you weren\’t in on that whole big setup, Commander!\”

Chakotay was genuinely baffled. \”What?\”

Janeway\’s crossed brows relaxed a bit. \”You mean, Tom and
B\’Elanna didn\’t tell you they were going to beam you to the
holodeck and lock the door?\”

Janeway knew from the rage that immediately sprung into his
eyes that she hadn\’t a clue about this. \”THEY DID WHAT?!?\” he
roared.

Janeway shook her head, smiling a little. \”They set us up,
Commander. They shoved us in that holodeck and set us up.\”

Chakotay ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in
mild annoyance, his sense of humor gradually coming back. They
both looked at each other, and laughed, hers warm and mellow,
striking a warm harmony to his deep booming one.

They laughed for a few minutes, and Chakotay sobered,
looking at the Captain with serious eyes, very much like the ones
he had looked at her with in the holodeck. He took her hand, and
with the other lifted the pendant from her neck. \”But does that
make THIS any less real?\”

Janeway dropped her eyes, bowing her head a little, the
coils of loosened amber hair catching the light of a nearby lamp.
\”I suppose not… I was afraid that it was all a joke… that you
didn\’t really…\”

Chakotay stooped a little to look up at her through her
veil of thick hair. \”I never joke about anything when it comes
to my feelings, especially with you, Kathryn.\”

Janeway lifted her head, her eyes hazy. He called her
Kathryn… totally unasked yet totally appropriate, totally…
right. Chakotay smiled. \”Do you feel the same way I do,
Kathryn?\” he said, his repetition of her name thrilling her.

She looked up, her eyes bright and sparkling. She slipped
a hand around the curve of his chin, resting it on his shoulder.
She inclined her head slightly, only a whisper of an inch, but
that was all he needed. With a sudden influx of pure adrenaliyn,
he drew her face to his, and kissed her. This was no joke… it
was the real thing. She felt an awesome wave of happiness, like
nothing she\’d ever experienced before, break over her as he held
her.

************************************************************

The next day, as Paris was working on the Bridge, he felt
two pairs of hands descend upon his shoulders, one pair light and
slender, the other pair strong and huge. Paris turned around,
finding Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay smiling strangely
down at him. He swallowed hard, and said, \”Yes, ma\’m?\”

\”First, I want to thank you for the holonovel – – it was –
– informative,\” smiled Janeway, eyeing the Commander sweetly.

\”Gee, I\’m glad you liked it.\”

\”BUT, I didn\’t like that you kiddnapped the Commander and
had him intrude on a private holonovel. The punishment for both
offenses is very heavy, Mr. Paris.\”

\”But Captain, everything DID turn out alright?\” sputtered
poor Tom.

\”That\’s beside the point, Tom.\”

Tom\’s gaze darted fearfully between the two senior
officers. \”So what are you going to do to me?\”

Janeway got up very close to Tom\’s face. \”You\’ll find out
soon enough,\” she murmured ominously. Then she stood aright
again, and grinned strangely at Tom. \”Good night, Mr. Paris,\”
she said, linking arms with Chakotay and striding towards the
turbolift. Chakotay looked over his shoulder at Tom and grinned
fearfully, like a well fed Bengal cat.

************************************************************

Posted in Voyager | Tagged | Leave a comment

Progeny of the Past – Alternate Universe Novella

************************************************************
Now Voyager Ratings : PG – 14
MV (Mild Violence, inflicted by a teenager)
MS (Mary Sue)
************************************************************

PRELIMINARY WARNING: This work of amateur fan fiction is a
blatant \”Mary Sue,\” as well as an attempt to rib our dear pals
light-years from home.

DISCLAIMER: These characters, as well as most of the universe as
we know it, belong to Paramount and their affiliates (at least in
THIS century), even if they do exist four hundred years in the
future and were only subsequently discovered by Roddenbery in a
freak twist in the space/time continuum…

Anyway, this is an amateur voyage into fan fiction, not for
redistribution or monetary gain of any sort. (Too bad, huh? I\’m
sure there are dozens of people willing to pay big bucks for this
sort of thing ) And don\’t tell anyone on Voyager about this:
Cadet Friedman could be court-martialed!

NOT-QUITE-SURGEON-GENERAL WARNING: This work, as well as any like
it by the same author, does not advocate undue violence towards
modems, computers, or Tom Paris. (Well, maybe a little on that
last one) PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ELECTROCUTE YOURSELF VIA
MODEM TO TRANSPORT TO THE U.S.S. VOYAGER OR ANY OTHER 24TH
CENTURY STARSHIP (OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER) It is not an
attempt to slander Oedipus, Sophocles, English (Lovely language –
– which is why I speak it), teachers, Public School, Catholic
School, AOL or any other online service. AOL is a good service,
just a little slow and obstinate at times… but aren\’t we all?
NOT FOR INTERNAL USE – – for EXTERNAL READING ONLY.

Thank You.

So, without further ado,

************************************************************

\”Progeny of the Past\”

A Alternate Universe Novella

by Emily Odd

(emmyodd@aol.com)

************************************************************
PART ONE: First Impressions
************************************************************

-1-

A girl, dressed in Catholic school uniform: navy skirt and
sweater vest with a white oxford shirt, was typing furiously on a
computer like it was lima beans to swallow just before you get to
eat ice cream. Suddenly, the monitor went black, and the girl
sat stock still in shock, vicious oaths running through her
youthful mind, which had been previously corrupted by the public
school system.

\”Darn it!\” groaned the girl, approximately fourteen or so,
raking her hand stubbornly through her tangled dark hair, yanking
the mistreated butterfly clip out for the umpteenth time and
readjusting it in her thick unruly curls. She kicked the desk
with her brown loafers, her hazel eyes darkening as they glared
at the cruel computer screen. It was staring unwaveringly back
at her: blank and cold, the only words on the screen now were,
\”Computer error. Please reboot.\”

\”And I\’d just finished my homework!\” moaned the girl to the
heartless monitor. \”Gosh darn it!!\” she said, wishing she could
say the words that were really on her mind – – but she had enough
problems without her parents yelling at her from the bottom of
the stairs.

Finally, resigned to her fate, she rebooted the computer,
trying to rewrite the ending of her essay, which she had stupidly
forgotten to save. \”Stupid English class… stupid essay…
stupid Oedipus!!\” Poor Sophocles would have turned over in his
grave with this teenager\’s griping, but he\’d heard it dozens of
times before, from millions of disgruntled students, so his
eternal rest was no longer susceptible to such insults. And so
Oedipus was mutilated for ten more painful minutes, and then she
turned with a happy sigh to more creative endeavors.

The cheerful beep of her modem as she logged onto AOL was
almost comforting… until she went into her favorite folder,
J/C, to find another writer had posted over her just a few
minutes before – – and once more, the writing stunk!! \”Arrg!\”
she growled, biting her lip. It just wasn\’t her day. A few more
posts from various older friends teasing her, the youngest
writer, and a cute little feminist rant from Michelle, but the
writer\’s post still rankled.

She signed off without a word to any of her online pals,
and set to work on a counterplot to that insolent add-on. Eyes
gleaming, she wrote furiously for an hour, contriving plots and
putting in amazing leaps of imagination that held water like a
sieve. Finally, copying the whole document, she tried to sign on
again, but the obstinate modem only squealed reproachfully at
her, clicking and buzzing at her tauntingly.

Emily was getting murderous now, her hands tingling to hurl
the offending piece of machinery and toss it to the sidewalk
three stories below. But it was about ten pounds, so demolition
was well nigh impossible: besides, her dad would have a fit. So
instead, she went to the phone jack to fiddle with the line. But
of course, she was so agitated she forgot to stop the modem from
dialing, so as she was yanking the line around in its jack,
impulses were still being sent. An overload built up, and
finally, the energy gave in one humongous current.

-2-

\”Captain, we\’re getting large influx of energy in the
transporter room,\” said Harry Kim to Captain Kathryn Janeway.

\”What?!?\”

\”It appears to be an electric current from an unknown
source – – but electricity hasn\’t been used as a power source for
hundreds of years,\” added Harry. The console beeped again, and
Harry\’s eyes widened. \”It\’s like something\’s trying to beam
aboard!\”

Janeway glanced at Chakotay, who looked just as puzzled.
\”Well, we won\’t find out anything unless whatever it is beams
aboard – – let it transport. I\’m going down there to get some
answers,\” she added resolutely.

Janeway strode toward the turbolift with Tuvok and Chakotay
just behind her.

The transporter room\’s only crewman stood stock still as he
stared at the still lump on the platform. Janeway and the two
other senior officers rushed in, then edged tremulously towards
the huddled figure. Janeway hunched over next to it, closely
shadowed by the two men.

She shook the navy mass, which stirred under her touch. A
brown head popped up, and Emily sat up, her tanned face
blanching, then burning crimson in excitement as she looked
around. Then she looked at Janeway with a mixture of confusion
and mischief.

She looked around, and her sense of humor got the better of
her. \”I suppose I should say, \’Where am I?\’, but I\’m not going
to, because it\’s hopelessly cliche, and utterly pointless in the
situation.\”

Janeway looked at her as if she were mad. \”What…?\”

Emily looked vaugely exasperated, but was smart enough to
keep it to herself. \”You see, I KNOW where I am.\”

Now Janeway\’s sentiment was echoed everyone in the room.
\”What?!?\”

Emily kept her air of perfect calm, dispite the excitement
growing inside her. \”You see, I must be dreaming – – there\’s no
other explaination.\”

\”I\’m afraid not, Miss…?\”

\”Emily, Emily Friedman to be more precise.\”

\”Well, Emily, you see, I\’m Cap…\”

\”Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager,\” finished
Emily. \”I recognize the line.\”

Janeway stared open-mouthed at Emily. \”How did you know
that?\”

\”Maybe we should discuss this somewhere else… it\’s a long
story.\”

-3-

When they entered the Ready Room, Emily stood in a sort of
amazed, revernent silence, but snapped quickly out of it. \”You
see, I know all this because I watch TV.\”

\”TV?\” said Tuvok, looking at Janeway.

Janeway nodded. \”A colloquilism for television – – popular
in the 20th century.\”

Emily smirked. \”Very good, Captain. TV isn\’t great, but
Roddenbery did pretty well by himself with Star Trek.\”

\”Star Trek?\”

Emily couldn\’t belive her ears. Even if this wasn\’t a
dream, you\’d think they\’d know about Star Trek… \”It was a
series of four television programs in the late 20th century about
Federation starships exploring the galaxy. First it was James T.
Kirk and then Jean-Luc Picard of the Enterprises, then Benjamin
Sisko of DS9 and the Defiant…\”

\”And…?\” asked Janeway, fascinated.

Emily grinned, adding, \”And finally, the most revolutionary
captain of the four: Kathryn Janeway of Voyager. Probably the
most admired woman on television in the 1990\’s. Probably the
most critiqued and politically correct of all.\”

Janeway blushed, but she was still confused. \”I don\’t
understand – – how does television know about us, if we exist
hundreds of years after they lived and died?\”

\”I don\’t know – – maybe the future was affected by the
past, so to speak – – the utopian society represented influenced
the leaders of the future… or maybe someone went to the past
and planted the idea in Roddenbery\’s mind – – who knows for
sure?\” she said, eloquently shrugging her shoulders.

\”So you\’re from the past?\”

\”I suppose so… unless I\’m dreaming – – what are your real
names?\”

\”Captain Kathryn Janeway.\”

\”Commander Chakotay.\”

\”Lietenant Tuvok.\”

\”Do the words Kate Mulgrew, Robert Beltran, and Tim Russ
ring any bells?\”

\”No.\”

\”OK… could you hand me something to read really quick?\”

A PADD was handed over, and Emily nodded her head. \”Damn.
I can read this.\”

\”What\’s your point?\”

\”If I was dreaming, I couldn\’t read the words. Reading is
performed by the left side of the brain, dreaming by the right.
I guess I\’m stuck here, then.\”

\”Excellent deduction, though. Very logical,\” said Tuvok,
arching an eyebrow.

\”Thank you,\” grinned Emily.

\”So we\’ve firmly established that you\’re not dreaming, and
that you\’re from the the 1990s. But what I still don\’t get is
how you got here,\” said Janeway.

\”Well, I have no idea how I got here. I was adjusting my
modem when I was hit by a current of electricity. That\’s all I
remember until I got here.\”

\”Modem?\”

\”A form on communication between computers – – primitive by
your standards, but it gets the job done.\”

\”I see. According to Mr. Kim, the ship experienced an
alien surge of electricity last used in the late 20th century
just a few minutes before we found you.\”

\”Hmm, that might explain it, but we\’re still far from
figuring out how to send me back – – if we can,\” said Emily
seriously.

\”You don\’t seriously think you might be stranded here?\”

\”It is a logical possiblity, Captain,\” interjected Tuvok.
\”It might be wise to consider the options she might have if we
cannot find a way for her to return to her own time.\”

\”True, but first I\’ll set Harry and B\’Elanna on finding a
solution,\” said Janeway vehemently. \”Dismissed.\”

-4-

Janeway gestured to a seat nearby, and sat in behind her
desk, leaning on the table\’s surface, watching Emily intently.
Emily was still looking around the room in awe. \”I can\’t belive
I\’m actually on VOYAGER…\” she breathed.

\”It\’s quite a ship,\” smiled Janeway.

\”You don\’t understand – – my time hasn\’t mastered getting
to Mars yet – – and here I am on a starship traveling billions of
kilometers per hour – – do you know how amazing that truly is??
And once more, you have successfully done with dozens of races
and species of people what we as yet cannot do with one – –
integrate all as equal, productive members of a larger community.
We have war, pestilence, hunger, and bigotry. You have wars, but
hunger, famine, they\’re largely non-existent. You don\’t know the
fear of wondering who\’s carrying a concealed handgun, you never
worry about whether you won\’t succeed because you\’re a woman…
You have so many advantages, even 75 billion light years from
most of the people you love.\”

Emily looked away out into the black space in the windows.
\”When I would think about exploring space, I would wish I could
be on a ship like this: finding new races, new worlds. Space
exploration as I knew it was unappealing: it was scorned by the
government as a waste of money and time. But now that I\’m HERE,
it\’s all so amazing, but then I realize that Ensign Kim and
Lietenant Torres will no doubt find a way for me to go home, and
I\’m sort of sad that all this will be lost to me except as a
weekly show.\”

Janeway smiled strangely at this strange child\’s take on
her life, as well as her own. \”We don\’t know whether we\’ll find
a way for you to return – – in the meantime, you might want to
make yourself comfortable with the ship.\”

Emily had memorized every list of specs and every map known
to the 20th century, but nevertheless when faced with the
gargantuan ship in all its glory she blanched. She looked at
Janeway wide eyed, her hazel eyes turning an uncanny shade of
dark grey green. Grinning at her stupor, Janeway handed her a
PADD. \”Here, you can scan over this until my shift ends, and I
can give you a personal tour.\”

Emily beamed, whispering, \”Cool!\”

\”I take that as a yes. See you in a few hours.\” As
Janeway left the ready room, Emily plopped semi-reverently onto
the sofa that lined the huge windows with an amazed sigh. She
could scarce belive she was 400 years in the future, millions of
miles from her home… surrounded by people she thought only
existed in her imagination and those of thousands of people like
her. She thought of her friends back home: they\’d be so jealous
to see her meeting Janeway and the crew, reading a PADD!

But they\’d never know… she worried about her parents and
friends, who were no doubt looking for her, scared sick. She
couldn\’t even glance at the PADD, her mind was filled with
sadness. Then she glanced at the PADD, and saw a familiar face-
– hers. She thought it was a reflection until she noticed it was
wearing a sweatshirt, not the school uniform she still wore. A
thought, loud as speech, asked, \”Who are you and why are you on
my computer monitor?\”

\”I was about to ask YOU the same question!\” she thought-
spoke to the monitor.

\”I\’m Emily Friedman.\”

\”WAIT a minute – – I\’M Emily Friedman!\” she said.

\”Where are you?\” the image asked.

\”You\’re not going to belive this…\” she said, recounting
her tale to the astonished girl.

\”Wow!! So you\’re – -I\’m – – stuck in the future on
Voyager?!?\” squealed the Emily in the PADD.

She nodded, and Emily visibly jumped in the air. \”I HAVE
to tell Michelle and the others…\”

\”NO! This has to be a SECRET,\” said Emily, without any
clear thought as to WHY it should be a secret.

\”I suppose you\’re right…\” murmured the 20th century
Emily. \”Can you get back?\”

\”We don\’t know yet.\”

\”Well, if you can\’t what a STORY it would make!\” said Emily
from the PADD with a gleam in her eye.

\”That\’s what I was thinking!\” gasped Emily.

\”We do have the same mind, you know,\” smirked the other
Emily.

\”True – – but how did we communicate?\”

The Emilys thought a moment, and they slapped their heads
simultaneously. \”Of COURSE!!\” they cried, \”The COMPUTERS must
have a link thanks to that modem incident! So any time we turn
on both our computers, we can talk!!\”

\”This is great! Even if I don\’t get back, then we can
still be together – – so to speak,\” smiled Emily.

\”Well, we have the same mind, so we both have the same
memories. I think it\’s probably a link via the hippocampus – –
the part of the brain that stores memories – – so we won\’t
actually EXPERIENCE the same things, just remember them the
same,\” said Emily smugly from the monitor. \”You missed Health
class.\”

\”Well, that\’s pretty cool – – but isn\’t that alot to
discern so soon in the game?\” asked Emily.

Emily looked offended. \”I AM you, so I wouldn\’t insult me
if I were you, and since I AM you, I\’m not going to insult myself
– – or something like that. If you want, I can explain my
hypothesis to one of the engineers or something…\”

\”Fine. I\’m in the Captain\’s ready room, so I\’ll just take
this to her on the Bridge.\”

Emily was as jubilant as her alter ego, but she masked it
rather well. \”If you really want to, I suppose.\”

\”I can explain it myself if you\’re not interested…\”

\”NO! I mean yes… I mean…\”

\”Oh hush!\” snickered Emily.

-5-

\”Captain, I…\” Emily was cut off by a shortage of air, due
in part to the fact she had just been cuffed by Tom Paris, just
going off duty.

\”Going somewhere, miss?\” he said.

Emily had no better opinion of him now than when she yelled
at him from the privacy of her home, and she drawled pithily, \”I
think there\’s something on this PADD she should see.\”

\”Oh?\”

\”Yes, \’oh,\’ Mr. Paris, and would you kindly let me down
now?\”

Her request granted, aliebet rather roughly, she tumbled
from his grasp, and, plucking herself up, she stuck her tounge
out saucily, heading toward the Captain. \”Captain, I think I\’ve
found a link with the 20th century – – and myself.\”

\”What?\”

She handed her the PADD, and Kathryn Janeway stared down at
the grinning Emily. \”Hello, Captain, from the year 1995. I\’m
Emily Friedman as well – – except a few hundred years younger.\”

\”Hell…o…\” said Janeway, tilting the screen so Harry and
Chakotay could get a better view.

\”Spiffy – – the gang\’s all there, eh?\” she said dryly.
\”But seriously, could I try to explain myself?\”

\”Please do, starting with how you got on one of our PADDs.\”

\”You see, when the modem exploded, so to speak, and a
duplicate of me – – that Emily – – was transferred into your
transporter, a nueral link via the hippocampus was established
between us, so we share memories, as well as some sort of link
between my computer and yours, which I attribute to some sort of
byproduct of the modem overload. Other than that, I haven\’t the
faintest idea what other side effects Emily has expericenced,
much less a solution.\”

\”We\’ll contact you if we make any progress,\” promised
Janeway.

Emily grinned. \”It has been nice to meet you, Captain,
Commander. Hasta Manana.\”

The Bridge crew turned to Emily, who said simply, \”An old
Earth language, Spanish, phrase. It means, \’see you tomorrow.\’\”

Harry looked at Janeway. \”So do we resume tests, Captain?\”

\”Yes. If you can\’t find anything definitive soon, we\’ll
have to continue on with Emily on board.\”

\”Better than Seska.\” murmured Emily to herself.

Chakotay and Janeway turned suddenly. \”What did you
say?!?\”

\”Nothing…\” said Emily sheepishly. She had a feeling
Seska was still a touchy subject, even for the Commander\’s
friends… and especially strange girls from 400 years past. She
sidled out of the room, and back into the ready room.

-6-

But Emily\’s words were strangely prophetic. A few hours
later, Janeway and the young visitor ate one of Neelix\’s stomach-
churning concoctions after a intense, intricate tour of the ship.
Emily was aglow as she eyed all the amazing features she had only
gotten a glimpse of before. Whether it was the bitter glob of
viscous goo that Neelix called sustinance, or the rush that she
was experiencing as she ate with her heroine, she wasn\’t
completely sure, but either way the blob hardened and grew cold,
with only random prick marks to show it had ever been out of the
kitchen.

As Janeway and Emily discussed the 20th century in great
detail, the little Talaxian bumbled over with another, greener
version of the gelatious sludge. \”You poor little girl! You
must be sick – – you haven\’t eaten a thing!! Here, try some of
this Sendwaran floam paste. It\’ll perk you right up!\”

Emily\’s eyes widened, the thought of mucous springing to
her mind as she felt her insides drop to shudder in protest.
\”Uhhh…\”

\”We\’re not hungry, Neelix,\” interjected Janeway smoothly.

\”Oh… alright,\” said Neelix, who, spotting Commander
Chakotay entering the Mess Hall, perked up immediately at the
prospect of a new guinea pig, and rushed over to the poor man,
who was frozen stiff, too late to make a dignified exit.

Emily was giggling at the thought of the poor Commander
force-fed that goop until a huge thrust shook the room, knocking
them all to the floor.

Emily shook her head, a pounding headache coming on. She
turned around, finding Janeway slumped on the floor, a pool of
viscous red liquid, not of Neelix\’s creation, puddling under her.
\”Captain!\” she cried, hunching over the woman\’s still figure.

Chakotay rushed over behind her, a large gash cutting
across the side of his face from his chin to the bottom swirl of
his tattoo. \”What the hell…?\” he murmured worriedly.

Emily slipped her hand to the Captain\’s wrist. \”Her pulse
is strong, but I think she\’s unconcious.\”

\”Uhhh…\” murmured Janeway, writhing at the sound of the
two hushed voices near her head. They helped her sit up, and
supported her arms and back as she tapped her comm badge.

\”Janeway to Bridge.\”

\”Yes, Captain?\” said Harry.

\”What the hell just happened?\”

\”We\’ve been hit by a Kazon Nistrum ship. Nothing serious,
but they\’re powering down their weapons.\”

\”What…?\” said Janeway, Chakotay, and Emily
simultaneously.

Chakotay and Janeway turned to stare at Emily, who
shrugged, saying, \”I told you, I know about this ship and all the
aliens you\’ve encountered – – ecspecially the Kazon Nistrum…
and Seska.\”

Chakotay crimsoned, but Janeway interceded, \”We\’ll discuss
your knowledge later… but now we need to get to the Bridge.\”

Emily grabbed Janeway\’s arm as she got up. \”Take me with
you.\”

\”All right… let\’s go.\”

-7-

On the Bridge, Janeway faced the starscreen, which showed
the blatantly obvious image of a Kazon ship, but it was uncannily
still. Emily twisted her lip, perplexed, and Janeway and
Chakotay, their brows arched: a more discreet version of the
young girl\’s bewilderment.

\”Captain, they\’ve opened a channel.\”

\”On screen.\”

The surly Kazon\’s face filled the viewscreen. Emily gasped
from behind the ops console. \”He\’s even uglier in person!\” she
murmured, softly repulsed.

Harry turned and grinned. \”You get used to it.\”

Emily shook her head. \”C\’est impossibe!\”

A throaty growl, hate turned into words, interrupted the
chummy little dialouge abruptly. \”Captain Janeway,\” he said as
cordially, or as cordially as a creature who resembled the
missing link, only with worse hair, could. \”So we meet again. So
nice to see you.\”

\”The feeling is totally not mutual,\” said Janeway with
deadly poignancy, which sent shivers down Emily\’s spine. \”What
do you want, Kullah?\”

\”Why NOTHING, Captain! Only to send greetings on us
becoming allies.\”

\”ALLIES?!?\” frowned Janeway.

\”Why yes, of course! That\’s what Seska told me. She said
that she had *ahem* convinced you to join the Nistrum fleet.\”

\”First of all, we are NOT allies. Second, we haven\’t been
in communication with Seska since she announced her pregnancy
with Chakotay\’s child. Third…\”

\”WHAT?!?\” roared Kullah. \”That is not your Commander\’s
child!! It is MINE!!\”

Janeway set her mouth calmly, betraying no emotion. \”We
don\’t know that, Kullah. But Seska has quite a reputation for
lying. But still, none of that explains why you fired on us.\”

\”We didn\’t fire on you! I didn\’t order any discharge of
weapons!\” Kullah\’s dark, twisted face was flaming red, and he
was becoming more and more irate.

Janeway broke through what sounded like hexes and curses in
Kazon, interjecting smoothly, \”If you check your computers,
you\’ll find that there has been weapons fire from your ship.\”

Janeway stood motionless as Kullah looked down, his face
turning from anger to amazement back to abject fury. \”The
WOMAN!\” he roared. \”The weapons discharge command… it\’s from
her quarters!!\”

Chakotay repressed a sudden urge to stick his tounge out,
and turned to see Emily grinning at him, the exact same thought
in her mind. Janeway glid in at that moment, rolling her tounge
around the bitter words. \”About Seska\’s child…\”

\”The one you think is your Commander\’s,\” glared Kullah.

\”Seska gave us every reason to think so.\”

\”Well, you\’re wrong!\”

\”Well then you won\’t refuse a paternity test,\” grinned
Janeway.

\”Whaaa…t??\”

\”Yes, we must know for sure.\”

Seska\’s face was thrust in front of Kullah\’s. \”Dear
Captain… DARLING Chakotay…\” she frowned at the unfamiliar
little face behind them. \”Who…? No matter. As to your lovely
paternity test, I\’m afraid it is no longer necessary. The child
is dead.\”

Janeway stared at Seska for a minute, and said, \”Mute
audio.\” She turned to Chakotay. \”Do you think she would kill
her own child just to evade a paternity test?\”

\”I wouldn\’t doubt it.\”

\”Captain, there\’s unidentifed debris floating about 1,000
kilometers off the port bow.\”

\”On screen.\” Janeway gasped, turning away. The small hunk
of space debris was a small baby, slightly grey in the blackness
of space. \”Tractor it in… take it to sickbay. I\’ll be in my
ready room. Commander…?\”

Too shaken for words, Chakotay merely followed her numbly
to the Ready Room.

Emily, suddenly nauseous, clutched the console, slipping to
the floor outside of the Ready Room, hugging her knees fiercely.

-8-

\”Captain, Commander, I have good news and bad news. It is
dead, but it was not Seska\’s child. The genetic markers are
totally Kazon. It was a trick.\”

\”A horrible trick.\” shuddered Janeway.

\”But this means that Seska\’s child is still alive… on
that ship.\” said Chakotay, turning off the monitor to the Ready
Room.

\”Haven\’t you – – all of us – – been through enough? This
is insane!\” said Janeway.

\”I won\’t go unless you let me, but something inside tells
me I have to know for sure.\”

\”I\’m not letting you go…\”

\”I understand.\”

\”…alone. We\’ll go, and take a few ensigns with us.\”

\”Thank you, Captain.\”

\”That\’s what friends are for,\” smiled Janeway.

-9-

Janeway and Chakotay, along with an away team of five,
boarded the Kazon ship. They were greeted by Kullah, Seska, and
a small platoon of armed guards.

\”So good to see you, Captain.\”

Janeway glared at him. \”We just want a blood sample,
Kullah, and then we\’ll be gone.\”

\”Right this way.\”

Janeway and Chakotay stationed the ensigns outside of the
room, and entered a dark, barren room, with a single light
illuminating a makeshift bassinet. Chakotay stood by the door,
gesturing for Janeway to take the sample.

Janeway headed toward the crib, repulsed by the horrible
little creature inside. It was grey and mewling and ugly, even
in sleep. *Nothing,* she thought, *could be uglier than that…*
She leaned over, needle in hand, and was about to take the sample
when…

\”I\’m sorry, Captain, but we can\’t just LET you test this
child.\” Seska pressed a phaser at the Captain\’s back.

Janeway turned slightly, seeing Seska\’s smiling reptilian
visage and Chakotay, slumped on the floor, a trickle of blood
issuing from his forehead.

She collected her thoughts, and said, \”You know if you
shoot me, they\’ll be half-dozen phaser blasts, and your child
will be hit, as well as yourself.\”

\”The child\’s usefulness is over… I got what I wanted:
Chakotay and you.\”

\”What do you want us for? You hate us!\”

\”My point exactly. Even if I die, it will be a happy
death, since you two shall die along with me!\”

\”I thought you loved him!\”

Seska laughed mockingly. \”Fool! He was only useful as a
informant – – I have everything I needed from him – – so I amused
myself by playing with his mind, and now I will kill both of you.
Pity you will never know the satisfaction of driving poor
Chakotay to distraction – – you would have been an adept – –
except you actually have FEELINGS for him!\” she scoffed.

\”What do you mean?\” said Janeway.

\”You know EXACTLY what I mean – – the glances, the absolute
devotion – – just lovely!\” she sneered.

\”Chakotay and I are just friends.\”

\”What an IDIOT!\” groaned Seska, slapping her head. \”You
don\’t mean to say that if you two both had no pasts, you would
have no emotion for him whatsoever… that if you were both just
foolish ensigns, you…\”

\”I\’ve had enough of your mind games, Seska! Either shoot
me or not – – you won\’t get the satisfaction of counting me as a
rival!\” she growled huskily.

\”My my, you HAVE got it bad!! Before you die, I just want
to give you a little piece of information. Chakotay…\”

But the little barb went unshot – – a swift kick from below
knocked Seska to the ground, and quick as a wink, an Ensign
sprung from her cramped hiding place and leveled a phaser at
Seska\’s head, and fired.

Chakotay\’s form now shadowed the still body of Seska. He
shook his head at the bloody wound at the shoulder. \”You have
lousy aim, Ensign…?\”

The now redheaded Ensign pulled the false Bajoran nose and
earring from her face, and grinned. \”Ensign Emily Friedman,
Commander,\” she laughed, walking out of the room, leaving the two
astonished officers alone with the unconcious Cardassian.

-10-

\”Ready, Captain. We can beam her out at your command.\”

Janeway sighed. \”I know.\” She was very sad to lose this
plucky little sprite, but B\’Elanna and Harry had worked very hard
to get her home, and she didn\’t belong here… or did she?

She turned to the crestfallen young girl, now back in her
20th century school uniform, who stood bravely before her. \”I\’ll
be very sorry to see you go… your bravery and courage was
commendable.\”

Emily smiled through a mist of budding tears. \”I was just
doing what any one would have done, Captain. I will miss not
being on Voyager… it\’s kind of grown on me.\”

\”We\’ll all miss you.\” grinned Chakotay at the little flame
of a face. She had brought out his sense of humor even in the
middle of the horrible crisis they had faced.

\”That means alot, sir,\” she smiled.

\”Aye!\” blurted Harry big brother-ishly from behind the
transporter console.

Emily grinned again, hugging everyone one last time, the
saltwater coming fast. She turned around and stepped onto the
console, more afraid than when she had had a phaser in hand only
a few days ago. The whoosh of the transporter filled her ears
with a dim hum, and she disappeared from them in a shimmer of
blue.

Janeway turned from the transporter, suddenly very sad.
She knew that Emily would have to go back to her own time
eventually, but she had grown on everyone gradually during the
week or so she had been aboard, and her valor was a match for
anyone on this ship. Chakotay put an arm around her to support
her, and they began to exit the transporter room.

Suddenly, a thread of blue from out of nowhere issued from
the transporter, and a familiar figure appeared again on the
platform. Janeway turned around, blinking the water from her
eyes to see an extrodinary sight. There was Emily, but
different… a tad more weak… a trifle thinner… more tan than
she remembered. Emily reopened her eyes slowly, and they gasped
as they saw her devilish hazel eyes were now a brilliant blue.
She looked around, hazed. \”What…?\” Then she beamed happily,
running to the Captain, laughing.

In the midst of the happy reunion, and the laughing and
merriment, the ever-rational Tuvok commented, although no one was
listening, \”It would appear that the transport did not work.\”

-11-

The Doctor, baffled, examined Emily with every test in the
book. Finally, he snapped the tricorder shut, and turned to
Janeway and Chakotay, amazed. \”It seems that the transporter
configuration, instead of taking her back to her own time,
affected her genetic structure in such a way that she could not
have survived the trip back, and so it rematerialized her on
Voyager. When it altered her genetic signature, it took out some
of her DNA patterns, which were replaced by those of the last
people who rematerialized on the transporter. And, judging by
the scans in comparison with those of the crew, that would mean
the two of you are the *ahem* donors.\”

\”That would be right, Captain. We were the last back from
the Kazon ship.\” pointed out Chakotay.

\”It does explain the darkness of her skin and the eye
color,\” nodded Janeway.

\”And in addition to reconfiguring her DNA, it also…\”

A beep interrupted the Doctor, and B\’Elanna\’s voice filled
the room. \”Captain, there\’s a strange reading over here… I\’m
sending it over to sickbay… any suggestions?\”

The computer screen went black near the biobed, and a long
list of figures materialized on the screen. Emily immediately
went over to the screen, eyed it critically, and said,
\”Lieutenant, I\’m sending you a configuration for the antivirus
system biop for you to initate of the port necelle – – it should
clear up the strange discrepancies.\”

Everyone turned to stare at Emily, and B\’Elanna\’s voice,
filled with amazement, said, \”She\’s right Captain… the readings
are normal now – – and I think she might have a solution to
increase fuel efficency by at least 5 percent!\”

The Doctor smirked at them, and said dryly, \”The computer
has also affected her brain – – she now has an amazing grasp of
the ship\’s systems – – almost as if she can read the ship\’s
\”mind,\” so to speak.\”

\”Amazing.\”

\”But if she\’s to become a functioning part of this crew,
she still has alot to learn,\” said Janeway. \”We should start her
education with Tuvok as soon as possible.\”

Emily looked pained. \”Tuvok…?\” she said.

\”Tuvok taught at the Academy, and he\’s a gifted teacher.\”

\”If I complain, you won\’t hit me, will you?\” said Emily
warily, eyeing Chakotay.

Chakotay blushed. \”That\’s only for the Maquis, Emily.\”

\”O…K… I guess. I\’m up to the challange.\”

But Emily didn\’t know quite how challenging Mr. Tuvok
was…

-12-

\”Wow, Em, that\’s really cool… are you sure I can\’t write
about it? It would be a great story!!\” pleaded Emily to her
futuristic \”twin\” as they sat discussing the last week\’s events.

\”No! Captain Janeway would kill me! It might upset the
past or something horrible like that! Besides, no one would
belive you,\” said Emily matter-of-factly, crossing her grey-clad
arms.

\”Well, it\’s almost 7 here, so I have to go watch
\”Voyager,\”\” said Emily.

\”And I have to live it,\” grinned Emily, straightening her
cadet\’s uniform as she stood up before the computer. \”Later.\”

\”Sure,\” said Emily as the screen went dark, then turned on
Microsoft Word with a wicked gleam in her eyes…

************************************************************
PART TWO: Bide A Wee
************************************************************

-1-

One day, a few months into Emily Friedman\’s cadet training,
after a grueling regimen of boring simulations, still more boring
lectures, and grueling physical workouts administered by
Lieutenant Tuvok, Emily staggered back to her small quarters
wearily. She was beginning to doubt the wisdom of not just
getting smacked upside the head by Commander Chakotay – – it
couldn\’t be any more painful than lugging around that billion-
pound knapsack and jogging around a million-mile corridor. And
her head ached from the facts and figures and endless
calculations Tuvok had crammed into her cranium with ruthless
efficency. *They weren\’t kidding when they said Vulcans were
very composed people,* thought Emily, yawning midthought.

She absently punched open the door, donning her jeans and
t-shirt and flopping onto her narrow bed. She ran through all
that happened that day, which, considering she was on Voyager,
wasn\’t that much. She had woken up at 0700, showered and
dressed, and had eaten the revolting breakfast which, thanks to
the thousands of frozen dinners she\’d eaten in the course of her
lifetime, actually didn\’t taste all that bad. Then she spent the
rest of her day struggling to keep awake (and upright) as Tuvok
put her through her paces, much to the glee of Lieutenant Paris,
who seemed to shadow her, a annoying sadist, chortling as she
sweated it out under his mirthful gaze. Emily wondered when he
ever found time to do all the things he was rumored to do.

But Emily shook the unpleasantness of the day from her
head, grabbing a copy of \”A Turn of the Screw\” from a nearby
table, thumbing through its leaves aimlessly, the eerie mystery
grabbing hold of her as she read.

She had been reading for an hour or so when the door slid
open, unbeknownst to her. A tall, relatively thin shadow slipped
inside, quietly padding his way towards the back of the occupied
chair. He stretched out a hand to tap her shoulder. \”Hey, want
to join us at Sandrine\’s?!?\” yelled a boisterous voice.

Emily turned around, her nerves shattered. She screamed,
then saw who had frightened her. Her eyes glowed with an icy
blue fire, and she sprung from her seat, jumping on top of poor
Tom Paris and beating him half senseless, yelling like a banshee
the entire time. \”You JERK!! You SLIMEBALL!! Can\’t stop acting
like an ASS for ONE MINUTE, can you?!? LEAVE ME THE HELL
ALONE!!!\” she yelled, kicking him in the leg for good measure as
she lept up.

As she turned around, she noticed she had an audience.
Harry stood, open-mouthed as he stared at his poor friend,
doubled over on the ground. Chakotay shook his head, covering
his glee at poor Tom\’s plight in a thick mantle of sterness.
Emily automatically helped Tom to his feet sheepishly, her face
burning and all her fury gone. \”Sorry,\” she mumbled to the
floor. It just wasn\’t her day. And it was getting worse and
worse.

The Captain walked in at that interesting moment, laughing.
But her laughter was cut off by the sight of poor Tom leaning on
Harry, who was still in shock. Granted, the little cadet didn\’t
do much physical harm, except maybe a really sore leg, but the
damage to his ego was nearly mortal. She turned to Chakotay.
\”What happened here?\”

Chakotay set his mouth, saying, \”Tom frightened Emily and
she flew at him.\”

\”Is this true, Emily?\” asked Janeway.

Emily nodded morosely.

Janeway put a hand to her forehead, but her sense of humor
got the best of her. She looked up at Chakotay, grinning. \”So,
who does she get THIS from, Commander?\”

Chakotay supressed his own grin. \”I don\’t know, but it
needs to be controlled.\”

Emily groaned, but Janeway smiled a little. \”Well, since
we\’re going to the holodeck, we\’ll decide your punishment later,\”
she said.

\”Yes, ma\’m.\”

\”And as for you, Harry, take poor Tom to sickbay. I doubt
he has any serious injuries, but it won\’t hurt to be sure.\”

-2-

\”All I\’ll say is, Tom won\’t be bothering her ever again,\”
said Chakotay as he and the Captain sat in the Ready Room the
next morning.

Janeway looked at him with mock-reproach. \”Don\’t encourage
her, Commander, we don\’t need another B\’Elanna Torres in our
midst.\”

\”Especially one with such a great left hook,\” snickered
Chakotay.

\”Seriously, Commander, what are we going to do about this?\”

\”The standard loss of week\’s replicator rations and
confinement to quarters should suffice.\”

Janeway looked up from her PADD. \”But what does that teach
her? She\’s a bright, promising young girl, but if she continues
to act this way…\”

\”Quite honestly, Captain, I don\’t think she will. She may
have a huge temper, but she has an even bigger concience, which
has already taught her her lesson,\” said Chakotay.

\”Very well, but I want you to administer the punishment…
that way, if this doesn\’t work…\”

\”It will.\”

\”For your sake, I hope it does.\”

Emily stepped timidly into Commander Chakotay\’s office
later that day, looking for all the world like she was entering
the dragon\’s lair instead of the kindly First Officer\’s office.
In her crimson and grey cadet uniform, with her unruly hair
pulled back severely and plaited, she looked fearfully small and
wide-eyed. \”Yes, sir?\” she murmured.

\”Emily, the Captain has decided to let me handle your
punishment.\”

Emily swallowed hard. \”Yes, sir.\”

Chakotay\’s face broke into a paternal smile. \”That\’s good
for you, Emily. The captain\’s testing both of us this way.\”

Emily scrunched her brow. \”How?\”

\”I wanted to be lenient, thinking you\’ve already learned
your lesson, and the captain decided to follow my advice and do
so – – but if you don\’t prove me right, she\’ll go back to
whatever punishment she had in mind before.\”

Emily was still a little confused. \”I don\’t get it – –
what happens if you\’re right?\”

\”Then I\’m right, and you become a better member of the crew
for it. That\’s all I want.\”

\”Then I can take whatever you dish out, sir.\”

\”No replicator rations for a week, and confinement to
quarters for the same duration.\”

Emily\’s face fell, but she lifted her head up calmly, and
said, \”Yes, sir.\”

\”Dismissed.\”

-3-

Emily had fallen asleep early a few days later, not so much
from sleepiness but from utter boredom at being confined to the
few square meters she called home. She had been trying to kill
the time by reading a novel, but it was so dry she dropped it to
the floor by accident, and hadn\’t had the heart to pick it back
up. She closed her eyes lazily, and fell fast asleep.

Thanks to poor Paris, Commander Chakotay had learned the
dangers of startling the youngest member of Voyager, and
proceeded into the innocuously bright quarters cautiously.
Curled strangely around the chair, her denim-clad legs dangling
over one arm, her upper body contorted in twists only a teenager
could execute without severe pain. She had a peaceful smile on
her face, or at least the part of her face visible from
underneath the mop of dark curly hair that fell all over her face
and shoulders.

It was a shame to wake the little beast, but she was an
hour late, and Tuvok, who had been waiting in the holodeck, was
as irritated as a Vulcan can get. Chakotay was afraid (well, not
so much afraid as embarassed) of what Janeway would say if she
got wind of Emily\’s tardiness, so he had taken matters into his
own hands.

Now, standing before the sleeping cadet, the former Maquis
captain quailed. She didn\’t make contact as well as say
B\’Elanna, but she made up for it with a tremendous amount of
force and a twice as many blows. *Here I am, afraid of a little
kid!* thought Chakotay, and mustering up all his command
presence, shook her shoulder.

The girl, still half-asleep, threw a fist out
instinctively, but he had quickly jumped out of the way, and the
arm swung through the air, throwing her balance off. A leg
followed the arm, and finally a tremendous thud as Emily toppled
onto the floor in a heap.

\”Uhhh…\” groaned Emily, grabbing her head as she sat up.
A huge bruise was beginning to form on her forehead, and she had
the uncomfortable feeling her nose had been smushed. She blinked
open her eyes, looking around fuzzily. \”Whaa… habbened??\” she
asked, to no one in particular.

\”You\’re an hour late for your holodeck lesson with
Lieutenant Tuvok,\” grinned Chakotay, finding his sense of humor
again.

\”I dodn\’t thee whath tho fuddy,\” snapped Emily, holding her
nose and her forehead at the same time. \”My thos ith boken,
thankth tho you!!\”

\”What?\” asked Chakotay.

\”MY THOSE!! MY THOSE!!\” yelled Emily, jumping up, her tight
little fists pounding feebly on his arm, accidentally smacking
his comm badge as she did so.

-3-

\”MY THOSE!! MY THOSE!!\” echoed through the Bridge.
Janeway started. \”Who the hell was that?!?\” she said,
looking around.

Paris appeared to look completely serious as he turned
around to look at Janeway. \”Judging from the intensity of the
pitch, and the fact that I can hear the thud of pounding little
fists in the background, I\’d guess it\’s Cadet Friedman.\”

Janeway looked strangely at Paris for a split second, then
strode towards the turbolift.

A few minutes later, the open doorway revealed an inane
picture to the Captain: a little girl grabbing her face as she
sat on the floor, as Commander Chakotay looked on helplessly,
rubbing a sore arm. \”Commander, what have you done?!?\” she
cried, rushing to comfort the prostrate girl. \”You poor
thing…\”

\”WHAT?!? I didn\’t do anything!! I\’M the \’poor thing\’!!\”
groaned Chakotay. \”She fell on the floor, then started hitting
me!!\”

Janeway supressed a snicker at the poor Commander\’s plight.
She grabbed the girl\’s shoulders and looked at her squarely.
\”Off to sickbay with you, Emily.\” she admonished. As she ran (or
as fast as someone can possibly go with a bloody nose) out of the
room, Janeway stood up from where she was crouched and walked
over to where Chakotay was briskly rubbing his arm, muttering,
\”Damned good contact for a little kid!\” under his breath.

Janeway shook her head. \”I told you this wouldn\’t work,
Commander.\”

Chakotay looked up stubbornly, his nostrils flaring. \”It
WILL, work, Captain, if it\’s the last thing I do.\”

Janeway smirked, patting his arm. \”Make sure it isn\’t,
Commander.\”

-4-

Chakotay walked to sickbay a few minutes later, where he
saw Emily lying across a biobed in such a way so that her legs
and sneakered feet were visible on one side and her head dangled
off the far side of the bed. Kes stopped him as he walked in.
\”She\’s not seriously hurt – – just a nosebleed – – she\’ll be fine
once the bleeding stops. I didn\’t bother to activate the
doctor.\”

\”Thank you, Kes,\” said Chakotay, setting his face as grimly
as he could and stalked over to where Emily hung strangely over
the bed.

Clearing his throat to get her attention, he asked dryly,
\”Was it the custom in the 20th century to constantly sit in
strange positions?\”

Emily swung her wieght forward and sat up on the bed. \”No
– – at least, not in real life. On TV, that\’s another thing.
But I was tired of holding my head back so I just hung my head
off the side of the bed.\”

\”Well, now it seems at least a bit logical.\” sighed
Chakotay.

Emily turned violently. \”That\’s the last thing I want to
be – – logical!!\” she shuddered. \”I want to be wonderfully
illogical. It seems to me the more logical you are, the less fun
you have by degrees. Look at Lieutenant Tuvok!\”

Chakotay nearly smiled, but instead he asked sternly, \”What
about Captain Janeway and me?\”

Emily grinned. \”You are too nice to be completely logical,
hence you\’re too nice to be completely boring.\”

Now Chakotay laughed – – loud. So loud, in fact, Kes
turned to see if he had gone mad. \”But don\’t you see, Emily,
that has a logic all its own.\”

\”True…\” said Emily, running her hand though her hair in
an uncannily familiar gesture. \”I\’m sorry I punched you, sir.
It was an accident.\”

\”I\’m just glad it wasn\’t Captain Janeway… she wouldn\’t
have borne it as well as I have.\”

Emily came very close to laughing in his face. Instead,
she muttered under her breath her half-brother\’s favorite
euphemism: \”Oh… I… KNOW\” (Teenage speak for \”Yeah RIGHT\”)

Even if he had heard what she murmured, he could not have
told you for the life of him what the hell she meant by it; such
is the power of adolescent euphemisms. If they don\’t know what
you\’re talking about, then they can\’t get angry, unless they\’re
the sort of adult that just gets very impatient unless they know
everything, sort of like Tuvok – – only Vulcans are never
impatient.

In any event, it didn\’t matter, because Commander Chakotay
never bothered about getting impatient, mainly because he LOOKED
and SPOKE as if he knew what everyone was thinking and he knew he
did, as well as the power of looking as such. So he just rolled
his eyes a little and tried to resume his authoritative aura, at
which, for once, he failed at.

So he just stared at her, which cowed her sufficently.
\”Just make sure it doesn\’t happen again, Cadet.\”

Emily grinned wickedly. \”Even if it\’s Lieutenant Paris,
Commander?\”

\”Even Paris, Cadet. Maybe the two of you should work
together on some project or another.\”

She sighed impishly. \”OK, sir, I\’ll try.\”

\”Good. Dismissed.\”

\”To where?\” asked Emily. \”I AM over an hour and a half
late for my lessons.\”

Chakotay crossed his arms sternly. \”To your quarters to
change into your uniform, then report to Lieutenant Tuvok.\”

Grinning in a manner that was too familiar to be wholly
respectful, Emily nodded, \”Yes sir!\”, and hustled out of the
room.

-5-

All was quiet on the starship Voyager on an evening a few
weeks later. Several crewmen and women had met at Sandrine\’s for
a pool tournament, and the only sound all along the corridor that
held the senior officer\’s quarters was an echo of a youthful peal
of laughter resonding down the hall.

In a small room just off the captain\’s quarters, a young
girl sat hunched over a PADD, giggling hysterically. The face of
the girl she laughed with was almost identical to her own, except
for the darker cast to her own skin and the brilliant blue,
faintly rimmed with a dark ring of mahogany, of her eyes, a sharp
contrast to the hazel ones in the monitor.

It was a pretty picture indeed, the dark sprite, tan cheeks
flushed in merriment, giggling with the only teenage contact she
got to make during the day. Her head shook with the violence of
her laughter, her curly tiger\’s eye hair catching the light in a
thousand subtle shades, from almost black to glints of blonde
here and there, reflecting the yin and yang of her \”godparents\”\’
physical and mental traits.

The laughter subsided after a few minutes, and the girl in
the screen wiped her eyes, snickering, \”No really, Em – – you
didn\’t!\”

\”It was an accident, Eds, honest – – the soup just sort of
flew out of my hands and fell into Tuvok\’s lap!!\” said Ensign
Emily Kathryn Friedman, better known around Voyager as \”Em\”
grinned devilishly.

The girl in the monitor, Emily Clare Friedman, nicknamed
for no particular reason \”Edith,\” snickered. Em sighed. \”It\’s
late, and I have an early duty shift tommorow.\”

\”I have to go, too. . . I had no idea it was so late!\”
gasped the Emily in the monitor. \”I\’ll get back to you soon
about the TV thing.\”

\”Thanks! See you tommorow.\”

\”Kay. . . night, \”twin.\”\”

Em turned off the monitor with a tired sigh, rubbing her
eyes as she got up from the small chair where she\’d sat for the
past 2 hours and changed from her stiff grey and crimson cadet
uniform into a soft pair of flannel pajamas. Even after a few
months aboard Voyager, she wasn\’t used to the uniform. It wasn\’t
that she was unused to wearing the same things as everyone else:
her months in a Catholic high school had taken care of that. It
was just that the uniform was so darn alien – – absolutely
nothing like the clothes back home. And so when she was in her
quarters, she wore the comforting flannel and denim of her own
time.

Her quarters reflected her \”ancient\” origins admist the
24th century as well. They consisted of a small pair of rooms
too small for use by anyone else in the crew: the Federation
crewmen already had rooms, and the Maquis would have revolted no
doubt. But thanks to the generosity of the senior staff with
their replicator rations, the tiny rooms were now decorated with
snatches of her home: her \”comfort\” clothes lying across a small
bunk, a small Celtic cross, an easel and paints near a
replicator, a warm afgan spread over a small chair that had
originally seated alien ambassadors. On her desk there were a
few books mixed in with several PADDS, as well as her personal
computer and a small silver frame with a picture of the senior
staff and herself. She grinned at the happy, caring faces,
remembering the tumultuous months before she could finally settle
in comfortably with her Voyager family without breaking her bones
– – or those of others.

Emily smiled as she looked around at her little room with a
happy sigh. Her thoughts wandered back to She snuggled under her
blanket, and promptly fell fast asleep.

-6-

While Emily fell asleep quickly, Commander Chakotay, first
officer aboard the U.S.S. Voyager, sat in the center of his
darkened quarters, the contents of his medicine bundle
surrounding him and a peaceful serenity illuminating his
features.

Inside the hidden realm of his mind, he was deep in
consultation with a gorgeous creature who watched him with soft
bright blue eyes that picked up his every word, spoken and not.
She occasionally padded around him protectively on four huge
paws, her flank catching the soft pattern of fading Arizona sky
on her golden hide, but often choosing to loll on her side before
him looking up at him, nodding occasionally.

Chakotay knelt, preparing to say good-bye before he stood
up and the vision dissipated. He nodded his head, stretching his
hand to stroke her shoulder. \”Thank you,\” he thought-whispered
to the smiling eyes surrounded by bright fur that filled his
mind.

The animal seemed to shake her head maternally at him, her
mouth curving slightly. \”No, Chakotay, there is something else.\”

Chakotay looked at her again a little forlornly, nodding
blankly.

The animal embraced his mind tenderly, stretching as she
did so. She stroked his cheek with her own, but he could not
feel her soft fur, only a warm satiny texture of human skin. He
looked at her in surprise, and she squeezed her eyes shut, the
desert scene becoming a peaceful seascape, her soft fur
shimmering for a split second with the glitter of scales. \”She
loves you, Chakotay. Bide a wee.\”

Chakotay opened his eyes suddenly, confused by the animal\’s
cryptic farewell as well as the scales he thought he had seen.
It wasn\’t like her to be so confusing – – she was always very
warm, yet very direct in her advice and counsel, just like. . .

He shook the intruding thought from his head prudently. He
was very conscious of the protocol on this ship and his role, but
every so often. . . his resolve broke a little and his mind
exploded with possibility for a split second before his better
judgment took over again.

As he solemnly folded up the deerskin of his medicine
bundle, his eyes fell on a small framed photo that Kes had just
distributed: it was a very good picture of the nine senior
officers that she\’d taken as per the Captain\’s request and had
made smaller copies for the rest of the senior staff.

He smiled as he saw the smiling faces in the picture: Kes
had taken it while they were off-duty, so they were all out of
uniform, except the Doctor, who was perennially in his teal and
black. He grinned at each familiar face in turn: The Doctor,
Neelix and Kes, B\’Elanna in deep red and Harry very close behind
her – – Chakotay was still amazed that poor Harry hadn\’t been
torn in two once in the entire span of their 6-month relationship
– – Paris and Emily, the two resident hecklers, grinning over the
entire group like some insolent Cupids – – it was a constant
miracle to him that his discipline had actually WORKED with Emily
– – they were actually FRIENDS! Then there was Tuvok, whom\’s
normal thin grim line of a mouth quirked a little at the edges.
Chakotay laughed as he remembered how Janeway and Kes had pleaded
and cajoled Tuvok just to get that much out of him.

As he chuckled to himself, his gaze shifted to the last two
figures in the center of the picture, their forms glowing in his
memory, mainly because one of them was himself, and the other was
his. . . Captain.

For one of the rare times in the year he\’d known her, she
was out of uniform… dressed in something dark and soft and
semi-long, and yet somehow it wasn\’t somber – – it brought out
the oft-hidden, subtle shine in her face like one of the shining
stars that dotted the endless black that surrounded them. Her
bright hair was not completely down – – it was gathered in a low
knot at the nape of her neck – – but the entire effect commanded,
as always, his respect and admiration, as well as a new emotion
he had yet to discern, if ever.

The admiration was evident in his face and gentle smile as
he stood slightly behind her, dressed in dark colors himself, the
two commanding officers a stark contrast between the riotous
colors and sunny faces surrounding them like a flock of giddy
white ducks surrounding two serene black swans who were content
with life and each other.

Chakotay stared at the picture, or rather, the lovely
beaming face in the center of it that was so close to his own,
for a few more minutes until he realized what – – or rather, who
– – his reveries were focused on and he jumped back in shock.
No. . . he was just lonely. . . he respected her. . . she was a
friend, not. . .

A sudden urge boiling up to forget this entire episode, he
leapt to his feet. A healthy dose of repartee with Tom at
Sandrine\’s would clear his mind of this nonsense. With a
resolute step, he strode out of his quarters and toward the
holodeck.

-7-

Kathryn Janeway groaned as she flopped onto her other side,
dropping her novel to the floor with a weary sigh escaping her
lips. She rolled onto her back, still uncomfortable, then
finally sat up, unable to relax. Her eyes roved around the room,
finally settling on a large frame on the table near her feet.

She plucked it up, smiling when she remembered how she\’d
asked Kes to take it for her – – the table had seemed so empty
since she\’d cleared her quarters and her ready room of all Mark\’s
pictures the month before. Kes had also given her small framed
pictures of each of the senior staff and Emily – – two copies of
each officer – – the eighteen little silver frames standing like
smiling sentries: nine throughout her rooms and nine in her
office, comforting her with their presence.

Her fingers traced the smiles of each of the people she\’d
come to know and love: Tuvok, the Doctor, Neelix and Kes, Tom
Paris, Emily, B\’Elanna and Harry. She was convinced that they
belonged together since she first saw them together more than 6
months ago, the first of many serious relationships to blossom on
the ship.

She started from her memories, her insides warming as she
gazed at her own face and Chakotay\’s – – the ones she\’d
consciously overlooked until that moment. Oblivious to all else,
she dreamily thought how well they looked together, his face and
body so close to her own for that brief moment in time captured
in that photo, in the midst of all the hubbub and colors of their
loving friends surrounding them. Then her eyes focused again,
and she shook her head. Not THEIR – – hers, his – – separately.
It was all a trick of the light. . . she was lonely. . . she
respected him. . . he was her friend, not. . .

Janeway leapt up. The eyes in the pictures, specifically
the dark brown ones, which were normally comforting, followed her
around the room possessively, as if he. . . Well, it was just
too stifling in here. . . she just really needed to get out. She
pulled her hair up into a quick knot as she donned her uniform
and strode toward the holodeck.

Janeway stepped into the turbolift, blind to everyone and
everything around her. Chakotay did the same, and both could
honestly admit that they saw no one beside them in the turbolift.
So it must have been a great surprise to both to find the objects
of their unwelcome thoughts standing before them.

They both blushed hotly, staring at the turbolift doors
until they slid open and allowed Harry and B\’Elanna to join them.
A joint breath of relief filled the lift as they moved apart to
allowed the couple room.

After what seemed like forever, the lift doors opened again
and the four spilled out into the corridor. Janeway wondered if
the climate controls were functioning correctly – – it was alot
cooler here in the hallway than in that lift. Her puzzlement was
interrupted by a light tap on her arm. She turned around and
found Chakotay smiling concernedly at her. \”You seemed
preoccupied.\”

\”No. . . just thinking.\”

\”About what?\”

\”Nothing. . . I was heading to the holodeck. . .\” she
mumbled.

Chakotay was about to say that he was going there too, but
his mouth wouldn\’t obey and said instead, \”I was just heading. .
.\” he fumbled, \”back to my quarters. . . I was just taking a turn
around the ship to stretch my legs.\”

\”Oh.\” murmured Janeway, feeling very small. \”Well, see you
tomorrow.\”

\”Alright.\”

They parted, and Janeway walked down the hall toward the
holodeck with a strangely heavy heart. What was happening? She
was acting like an utter fool, getting her hopes up…

She shook it from her head for the second time that night
and strode into the holodeck. Tom was nowhere to be seen, the
holodeck empty with no program running. Janeway turned to leave,
but she couldn\’t go back to her room just yet. She opened her
mouth to run Sandrine\’s, but she was suddenly not in the mood.
Struck by inspiration, she called out, \”Computer, activate
program Janeway Zeta Five,\” hoping it still existed – – it had
been forever.

The gridded room disappeared, replaced by a wide expanse of
beach that stretched out forever in her mind\’s eye. It was
aesthetically identical to the dream-scape of her vision quest,
but she would have to provide the soul. She nestled in a cleft
in a nearby rock and closed her eyes.

Her animal guide came quickly, without deerskin or
incantations or even Chakotay\’s comforting yet disconcerting
presence to lure it. . . just the fact that she needed its help
brought it to her side. She was confused – – a very foreign
emotion to her – – not entirely knowing the reason why. All she
knew was that she needed answers, and she instinctively looked to
this tiny creature to supply them.

It crawled nearer, looking up at her from the crook of her
arm. She stared at it, her expression a question indecipherable
to all but the tiny reptile, who knew her better than anyone,
including herself.

Silently, the lizard inclined its head understandingly,
almost nodding in a sage fashion. It turned its head uncannily,
its iridescent green scales transforming ever so briefly into
tufts of soft gold fur. And then it was gone, as swiftly and
effortlessly as it had come.

Janeway was deeply disturbed by this. She didn\’t
understand why it would just disappear, without any real answer
to the question buried so deeply in her subconscious she didn\’t
quite know it herself, let alone its answer.

-9-

The only person she could really discuss the strange coming
and going of her guide was incalculably far from her, partially
from his scruples and partially from her own. As disturbed as,
or perhaps more than she was, he prowled the length of his room,
his composition cracking as he was faced with such a
disconcerting vision.

He ran a hand through his hair and over his face wearily.
He couldn\’t stand just pacing trying to figure this out, and
sleep was unthinkable – – she may come again to haunt him, and he
couldn\’t stand another puzzle, not tonight.

He looked at the time. 2300. He shook his head. He had
to go somewhere. He checked the holodeck schedules. All full of
crowds of people, except one with only one occupant without a
privacy lock. Chakotay smiled. He wasn\’t in the mood for a
large gathering, and he was sure that the solitary person was
Paris running his holobar. Janeway was probably long gone by
now, fast asleep in her darkened quarters, her hair down as she
curled up in… He shook his head. His guide\’s strange
departure was really starting to get to him tonight. . . he was
thinking the most improbable things. He rushed back toward the
holodeck, hoping Paris\’s antics would help him forget the past
few hours.

A few minutes later, he stepped into the holodeck and found
a shocking sight. A seascape, as if ripped from his brief vision
within a vision, filled the holodeck.

His eyes wandered, lost for a few minutes to the utter calm
of this place. He wondered who was running this program – –
certainly not Paris, and he B\’Elanna and Harry were too busy with
other recreation to design such an intricate, clearly personal,
clearly solitary program. Kes wasn\’t technologically literate
enough to do something like this, nor was Neelix, who didn\’t like
holodecks anyway.

As he wondered in thoughtful silence, he vaguely noticed a
figure between some large stones a few meters from him move
slightly within the range of his peripheral vision.

After a few minutes of ennui to clear her mind, Kathryn
Janeway reopened her eyes on a startling sight. There, as if
he\’d suddenly just appeared, was Commander Chakotay, staring into
space enveloped in a ponderous silence. She moved a bit, shaking
him from his thoughts. He turned and stepped closer to her, his
eyes wide. \”Captain? This is yours?\”

She nodded. \”It\’s not exactly identical to my vision, but
it helps calm my nerves.\”

\”This is your vision?\” he said, not wanting to intrude into
such an obviously private place… he didn\’t have the right.
\”Maybe I should leave.\”

Janeway started. \”No, it\’s quite all right, Commander. I
just couldn\’t sleep.\” She looked closely at his haggard face.
\”And from the looks of it, neither could you. What\’s wrong?\”

\”Nothing. . . nothing.\” he said – – what could he say:
\”Captain, I can\’t stop thinking about you?\” Impossible. . . and
untrue, of course. It was his vision that was bothering him. . .
not. . .

Janeway shook her head a little, the fading sun behind her
head making her hair bright gold just like. . . He edged away a
little from where he had sat down beside her, a little shocked by
the uncanny resemblance. Not that Janeway was in anyway feline
in appearance, but nevertheless the wise, serene countenance, the
thousand small unconscious mannerisms were there. He\’d
subconsciously noticed it countless times before, but now the
realization hit him full force. This was too much. . . He shook
his head, muttering, \”NO. . .\”

Janeway was very confused, an emotion very foreign to her
until a few hours before. One minute he had seemed very open and
almost. . . friendly, willing to admit to her what was bothering
him. Then he looked as if she had the plague. WHAT was wrong
with her? She was going to go crazy if she kept reading so much
into so little. . . soon she\’d be thinking Tuvok was flirting
with her!

She disengaged her hand from where it clutched his
shoulder, Chakotay looking up, not noticing its firm, gentle
presence until it was gone. He didn\’t make a move to stop her –
– he couldn\’t move an iota, for fear of what he might say – – or
do.

Janeway smiled, but Chakotay detected the lack of the beam
and shine in her eye that accompanied her true, heart-felt
smiles. She didn\’t dare pat his shoulder, merely mumbling
softly, \”You know if you need anything, I\’m here for you.\” before
she fled her own program, only the deep creases in the shoulder
of his uniform to convince him it was not all another vision.

-10-

Janeway raked a hand through her hair after she retreated
back to her quarters. She donned her nightgown, wrapping her
blankets around her, trying futily to ward off the strange
thoughts that plagued her. She tossed onto her side, facing a
long bureau that lined the length of the opposite wall.

The glass of a picture frame glowed faintly in the
starlight. As she sat up instinctively to look at it, her sleepy
mind imagined she saw the outline of some large animal on the
wall behind it. As her eyes refocused, she saw the smiling face
of her first officer. She flopped back onto her pillow. Sleep
came quickly, but invited with it the most disturbing and
unwelcome dreams about her and her first officer.

-11-

Neither got much sleep of any quantity or quality that
night; and the next morning the atmosphere of the Bridge
reflected it. Janeway sat on the Bridge for all of ten minutes,
then retreated back to her Ready Room for the remainder of the
watch. Chakotay sat in his chair composedly, coming to the
conclusion his animal guide was out of it last night and the
consequent events were merely a mild delusion.

Alpha shift was long gone and Beta shift was beginning to
fidget when she reappeared on the Bridge hours later, the first
he had seen her since the previous night. She had evidently not
slept much either, for what reason he could not fathom: she was
pale and drawn as she slumped into her chair beside him.

The effect of seeing him beside her did not doing much for
her complexion or spirits either, which led him to assume she was
angry at him for intruding last night, although she hadn\’t shown
it, but he could think of anything he\’d done wrong.

She turned, noticing quite keenly that he was staring at
her for some reason with a very foreign look to his face. She
blushed a bit, which jolted him back to the Bridge. She assumed
she was just in the line of his gaze, not the object of his
study. She looked to her right. Yes, he was probably staring at
the pretty Maquis, Lieutenant Regent, hunched over the
Engineering console in B\’Elanna\’s stead, not her. How silly for
her to assume. . .

Janeway blushed furiously again, pleading headache as she
hurried off the Bridge to her Ready Room before something else
happened to make her feel the fool.

-12-

Chakotay watched as she left the Bridge, an eyebrow raised
as he discerned the agitation in her firm, quick stride.
Something was very wrong today. . .

But what?

A few minutes of wild speculation later, his curiosity
finally got the best of him. He looked at the time. 2310. His
watch was over ten minutes ago. Nodding to Tuvok, he got up out
of his chair and exited towards the turbolift. Whatever was the
matter with Janeway, he was going to find out – – and soon.

Janeway moved as she paced her Ready Room, lengthening her
stride as she pondered what the hell was going on. Him and his
damned animal guides. . . Janeway shook her head, seating
herself behind her desk. It wasn\’t his fault she got a smart-ass
guide with a penchant for confusing you and making you think. . .

\”Captain?\”

Janeway looked up from a pile of PADDs to look at a very
sheepish Cadet Emily Friedman. She smiled warmly. Emily had a
spark about her that always brought her out of her ponderous
gloom. It didn\’t fail this time, either. \”Yes, Cadet?\”

Emily looked around, her hands behind her back and rocking
her body back and forth. \”Well, I just noticed you spend an
awful lot of off-duty time alone. . . or at Sandrine\’s. Not that
I have anything against Tom or his program,\” she added, grinning
a wee bit maliciously as she recalled very nearly being thrown
out by the aforementioned Paris after she beat him 3 games to
none in pool one night. \”But might I suggest something more. . .
creative?\”

\”Such as?\”

\”Well, with Tom\’s help, I\’ve been modifying one of the
holodeck relaxation programs into an outdoors art studio of
sorts. I\’ve been using it by myself, but I\’d love to teach
someone.\”

\”So you want me to be your guinea pig?\”

Emily blushed. \”Well. . . I. . .\”

Janeway broke into a soft smile. \”That\’s not a \’no,\’
Cadet, that\’s a \’yes.\’ I\’d be happy to learn. But I must warn
you, I can\’t draw a stick figure much less anything more
complicated.\”

\”I\’ve heard that before, Captain. Don\’t worry.\” She held
up a small sketch of a person. \”The Emily in the 20th century
sent the computer copies of some of my work. This was drawn
before I took art.\”

Janeway examined it. \”Better than anything I can draw.\”

\”But look at these,\” she said, handing her two large sheets
of paper, \”In comparison.\”

Janeway looked at them. One was a self-portrait, the other
a sort of collage, with a bird, a mountainscape, a monkey, and. .
. \”How did you draw me if you drew this in the 20th century?\”

\”Like I said, Voyager was a very popular TV series. The
entire senior staff\’s pictures were all over cyberspace.\”

\”Amazing.\”

\”The truly amazing thing is that Emily thinks she can
connect the ship\’s computer and her television in the same way
the two computer\’s hard drives are linked.\”

\”And. . .?\”

\”And so I\’ll be able to introduce you first-hand to 20th
century TV.\”

\”How soon?\”

\”We don\’t know. Emily thinks she\’ll be able to send a test
one soon. Harry, B\’Elanna, and I have been working during some
of our off-duty time on setting up the holodeck to receive the
program. She\’s going to attempt UPN\’s frequency first, then if
that works, we might be able to access other stations. Of
course, we\’ll need your approval, Captain.\”

Janeway smiled. Emily hadn\’t been this eager since
Chakotay had helped her with her animal guide almost as soon as
she had been firmly established on Voyager. She wasn\’t often
enthused about anything, but when she was she attacked it with a
vigor. \”Of course, Cadet, as long as it doesn\’t affect you
three\’s work or the computer systems.\”

\”Yes ma\’ – – Captain,\” beamed Emily.

Janeway nodded, and the Cadet slipped out, calling, \”2200
tomorrow Holodeck 2, Captain.\”

-13-

Janeway stepped into Holodeck 1 the next evening at 2100.
Sandrine\’s, as usual, was in full swing, and she slipped into a
partially hidden table before anyone could detect her presence –
– or so she thought. She looked up to see if anyone saw her
entrance when her gaze met the amused twinkle of her first
officer\’s.

\”Good evening, Captain. Am I intruding?\”

\”No, of course not.\” she said, blushing, trying to appear
thoroughly at ease and failing horribly.

Janeway fiddled with the edge of the table for a minute.
Meanwhile, Paris spotted the Commander slip from the pool table
toward a shadowy table occupied by a auburn-haired woman whom\’s
face he couldn\’t see. \”Ahhh, Chakotay\’s smitten… wonder who\’s
the lucky lady?\”

Unable to suppress his curiosity, he strode over to the
table. \”Hey, Commander, gonna let me finish you off?\”

The woman turned, and Paris\’s mouth opened in shock.
\”Captain?\” he blubbered inanely.

Janeway rested her hand on her cheek and looked at him
radiantly with a serene smile on her lips. \”Yes, Mr. Paris?\”

\”Ummm. . . uh. . . just saying hello, Captain.\” he
recovered somewhat.

Janeway smiled as she stood up. \”Well, it will have to be
good night as well. . . I\’m going to meet Emily in Holodeck 2.
She thinks she can teach me to draw.\”

Paris couldn\’t speak, but Chakotay rose to stand beside
her. \”Have fun, Captain,\” he grinned.

Janeway merely exchanged a slow smile with him, unheeding
of Paris, who was observing both. They belonged together – – he,
as well as half the ship, had speculated on this for months and
had drawn the same conclusion. Now all there was was to get the
two together. . . but how?

He was still deep in probable solutions: rigging the
turbolift between floors, locking them in her Ready Room until
they were forced to admit they were in love, conning the doc into
creating a truth serum, abandoning them on an asteroid, making
them eat Jell-O – – Harry swore it was an aphrodisiac – –
locating some sort of alien virus… when he felt a big hand clap
on his shoulder.

He jumped a mile, his cue clattering to the ground.
Chakotay groaned, shaking his head. \”Are you ready to finish
this game?\”

\”I was about to ask you the same thing, Chakotay,\” smirked
Tom devilishly. \”You seemed more than content to stay over at
that table with that cute redhead,\” he continued mercilessly.
Chakotay merely looked at him: he couldn\’t get a rise out of him
at all these days, Paris thought, exasperated.

Chakotay rolled his eyes. \”I don\’t know what you\’re
talking about, Paris. And I don\’t think the Captain would
appreciate you calling her a \”cute redhead,\” either.\” he added.

\”Whatever. . . can we just finish this game?\”

\”Sure.\”

-14-

Janeway entered the holodeck, this program a welcome change
from the hubbub of Sandrine\’s. It was a sunny mountain scene.
In the distance she could see a large wooden house nestled among
the trees. A small figure waved wildly from its huge wooden
pavilion, gesturing her onward.

A few minutes later she found herself climbing a set of
redwood stairs that led to the pavilion. When she finally
climbed the stairs, she found a more amazing view than the
initial one, as well as a smiling Emily greeting her. She was
clad in soft, faded jeans and a large white shirt, already
covered with soft streak of grey. Her hair was pulled from her
face in a braid, half her hair flying out of it in glorious
disarray. She stood before a long, tall table covered in large
sheets of paper and dozens of pencils and erasers.

\”Hello, Captain. Ready?\”

\”Of course. What\’s all this? You didn\’t use up all your
replicator rations on this, did you?\” she said, looking a little
guilty.

\”Of course not – – most of this is holographic – – only for
practice. This\” she said, holding up a few pencils and a two
large pads of paper, \”Are the only real things here.\”

\”Oh… well then, let\’s get started!\” she said. Then she
looked at Emily\’s clothes and her own spotless uniform. \”Am I
dressed alright?\”

\”Yes… I just have a nasty habit of wiping my fingers on
my clothes while I draw – – you won\’t need any grungy clothes
until we start to paint.\”

Janeway had a sudden vision of herself covered in paint,
and was suddenly very glad she was the only student in this
class. \”So, what\’s first?\”

\”Well, I\’ll start with the basics – – perspective and
whatnot, same as I learned it, then we can move onto rendering
and hopefully you can start drawing still lifes within a few
weeks, then human features a little after that.\”

Janeway frowned a bit warily. \”How soon is \’a little after
that\’?\”

\”Well, my art class was a semester – – 12 weeks. I was
drawing human features about the 9th week. I\’ll start asking
crewmembers to pose about a week before that, depending on how
fast we go.\”

\”Well, let\’s just start with perspective.\”

\”Alright. First, we\’ll start with the vanishing point. .
.\”

-15-

A few weeks later, as Harry, B\’Elanna, Emily, and now Tom
Paris worked diligently in the holodeck on the TV program, Emily
looked up from the circuitry and looked at the two officers
innocently. \”Could you guys do me a BIG favor?\”

Tom mock-sighed. She was a girl after his own heart, but
she often used her youth and big blue eyes to get them to do
various things for her – – even he, whom she had whipped soundly
once with her fists, as well as countless times in pool. He held
up the wires in her face. \”What does THIS look like?\”

Harry, incessantly nice as always, ignored Tom\’s
exasperation and inquired, \”What do you want, Em?\”

\”Well, Captain Janeway has come to the human features part
of the curriculum and she\’s worried about looking foolish and
messy in front of subordinates, so I was going to ask the senior
officers to pose instead of asking anyone much lower.\”

Paris was about to laugh in her face, when a light bulb
went off in his brain, to use the 20th century colloquial. He
snapped his fingers, dropping the circuitry in his hands and
grabbed Emily in a bear hug, swinging her around until she was
dizzy. \”That\’s IT! You\’re a genius, Emily!\”

Emily edged away from him after he set her back down,
whispering loudly to Harry and B\’Elanna, \”If he does that again,
I might hafta break my word to Commander Chakotay and deck him
again.\”

B\’Elanna snickered, but Tom had already jumped Harry. \”OK,
guys, here\’s the plan.\”

Janeway waited in the holodeck for Emily. She tapped the
long table with a pencil. Emily was usually here long before she
was… she was never this late. She was about to tap her comm
badge to locate her, when she heard footsteps on the stairs. She
turned. Emily didn\’t have such a firm, slow footstep: hers was
light and very VERY fast.

Emily came into view first. She was in her customary
\’grunge clothes,\’ her hair in her braid. Her hands were behind
her back: a habit acquired from the transporter accident, and she
grinned broadly, another \”inherited\” habit, though not her own.

\”Captain, here\’s your model for your human features lesson.
He promised to be nice and is giving up a few hours to sit
completely still.\”

Janeway just looked, puzzled, straining to see who Emily
had conned into giving up his leisure hours. She gasped
involuntarily when she saw the tall frame of her first officer
appear behind Emily, who still stood grinning like a Cheshire
cat.

Emily looked between the two briefly, wishing Paris was
here to see his little plan blossom, memorizing the event for
posterity. Then she became all business. \”OK, if you\’re ready,
Commander, we\’ll set this little lesson up.\”

\”Of course,\” he smiled. Whether he had an inkling of what
was going down or not she wasn\’t completely sure.

\”Alright. Here\’s your chair,\” she said, gesturing to a
high-backed chair directly across from Janeway. He sat down,
Emily pushing it a little closer to the table. He looked at her
quizzically, and she recovered quickly, \”You need to be as close
to her so she can capture every detail of your face on the
paper.\”

\”I see.\”

He sat obediently, but Emily shook her head. \”No NO. . .
the Captain can\’t very well draw you if you look like a wooden
Indian, Commander. . . no pun intended, of course.\”

After getting him into the desired position, Emily nodded,
walking over to where Janeway reached for a scrap of paper. She
shook her head again. \”No, Captain, this is an exercise to
record on the real paper. You\’ll be using the same sheet for the
next few days, though. We\’ll start with the eyes.\”

She brought forth her own sheet, covered with facial
features meticulously drawn. \”Of course, you will have to draw
closer to life size. . . mine were too large.\”

\”I can\’t draw like this. . .\” began Janeway.

Emily smirked to herself, but shook her head. \”Of course
you can, Captain. Here\’s the format.\” She sketched a series of
lines on the paper. \”Just remember no eye is completely oval,
pupils are round, and only draw one highlight in the eye, and you
should do well. Here, just focus on the lines of your subject,
like this.\”

Emily took a good look at Janeway, then bent and sketched a
few lines, shading and erasing for a few minutes, pausing
occasionally to look at her, then pushed the paper back to her.
\”See? Just practice – – you\’ll do this a few times before you
get it right. . . then tomorrow we\’ll move to the nose, then the
mouth. The eyes are the easiest feature to master, and I have
confidence in your skill.\”

Janeway nodded and fell to work, realizing she couldn\’t
possibly fear. . . impropriety with Emily around.

But that hope was dispelled a few minutes later. Janeway,
intent on her progress, Chakotay\’s features reduced to cold,
meaningless lines, when a bleep issued from Emily\’s comm badge.
\”Kim to Friedman.\”

\”Yes, Ensign?\”

\”We think we can receive the first program if you\’re ready.
We need you in Holodeck 1 to help us.\”

Emily looked back to where Janeway sat, frozen. \”You don\’t
mind if I go over there? I\’m really anxious to see what Emily
sent for the first program, and if we finish soon, then I can
show you what my century thrived on. Maybe even a few
commercials!\”

Janeway looked over to Chakotay and back to Emily, halfway
out the door by now. \”Fine… but come back soon.\” she said, a
little waver in her voice.

\”Well, all you have to do now anyways is render – – add the
humanness to the eye – – so I\’m not really needed here anyway.\”
Emily grinned for a split second, then was out the door, leaving
Janeway and Chakotay alone.

Janeway tried to concentrate on the subtle nuances of her
shading, but the soft, clean variations of grey wouldn\’t appear
on her paper, even after minutes of erasing and smudging the
graphite with her fingers. She ran her hands through her hair,
her forehead streaked with grey from the countless repetitions of
this gesture.

Chakotay chuckled a little at the sight of the super-
composed woman reduced to this frazzled creature with a grey
forehead and her hair in wonderful disarray over a piece of paper
with his image, but quickly stopped at the sight of her annoyed
face.

\”This THING,\” she proclaimed hopelessly, gesturing wildly
to the paper, \”Will NEVER look like an eye, human or otherwise!\”

Chakotay leaned over the table to observe her handiwork.
\”That THING is my eye, thank you, and I\’d like it if you\’d
remember that. Second of all, it is your first attempt. . . you
can\’t expect to be perfect the very first time.\”

Janeway nodded. \”True. I guess I should just try again. .
.\” She moved to scrunch up the paper, but Chakotay shook his
head. \”I think you should save it. . . a reminder that not
everyone is perfect. . . even you.\”

Janeway smiled, laying the paper aside. She caught her
reflection in the darkness of his eyes. \”I must look a sight.\”
she said, smoothing her hair away from her face.

\”You look fine,\” he grinned just before her returned to his
unblinking position before her.

-16-

Harry greeted Emily happily as she entered the holodeck.
\”Em, we\’re about to receive the program from Emily.\”

\”Great, save it. I want to show the Captain. I hope it\’s
what I think it is.\” exclaimed Emily, looking at the viewmonitor
they\’d set up in the holodeck.

\”What do you think she\’s sending?\”

\”From her hints, I\’m expecting \”The 37\’s\” or \”Elogium,\” she
grinned. \”Or it might be \”Caretaker,\” I\’m not sure.\”

Tom and Harry looked at Emily. \”WHAT?\”

\”You\’ll see.\”

Paris looked at Emily. \”By the by, how\’s our little plan
going?\”

\”Just fine. . . what a perfect excuse to get them to stare
into each other\’s eyes for days on end!!\” she snickered.

\”What I wouldn\’t give to be in there right now…\” smiled
Paris.

But his daydreams were interrupted by the blare of theme
music. Harry stared at the screen. \”Kate Mulgrew as Captain
Kathryn Janeway. . . Robert Beltran as Commander Chakotay. . .
this is. . .\”

\”Star Trek: Voyager!!\” squealed Emily happily.

\”No. . .\” said Paris disbelivingly.

\”Yes!\” squealed Emily as she saw the title of the episode.
\”And my favorite episode, too – – Elogium!! It worked!! I HAVE
to watch this with the Captain and the Commander – – it\’s the
most slanted episode ever!!\”

\”Slanted?\”

Emily looked at Harry as if he was an utter moron.
\”Sexually slanted… \’mating process,\’ Chakotay saying, \’sexual
rival\’ every ten minutes?! I mean… this gave the J/Cers
something to write about for weeks!!\”

\”J/Cers?\”

\”I\’ll explain later. . . but I really have to check on my
art student.\” she smiled.

-17-

Janeway tossed aside the umpteenth piece of paper with a
disgruntled sigh. She slumped tiredly across the table, her head
in her folded arms. \”I can\’t do this!\” she moaned, banging her
head against the wood.

She looked up and found Chakotay smiling at her. \”You do
realize they\’re trying to set us up, Captain.\”

Janeway shook her head and looked at him. \”Of course – –
but I didn\’t quite realize it until this moment.\”

\”Did it work?\”

Janeway smiled at him. \”Maybe, maybe not.\”

Chakotay grinned, stretching his stiff limbs. He could sit
very still for hours while she looked intently at him, trying to
capture every detail of his face on paper, but his body revolted.
Janeway flexed her stiff wrists and fingers as well, stretching
them above her head, then resting them on the top of her head.

Chakotay looked at her: dressed in a white, loose shirt,
jeans covering her legs, her bright hair almost completely out of
its confining knot, her arms clasped over her head so the loose
rolled-up sleeves of her shirt slipped to her elbows. He smiled
to himself. He\’d known from the moment Emily had oh-so-sweetly
asked him to lend his face to the Captain for her art assignment
that it was all a setup, a large part played by Tom Paris, no
doubt.

And yet, he\’d assented, almost eagerly, to being a pawn in
their matchmaking. There was something about Kathryn Janeway\’s
face. . . and he was helpless before it. Not even his guide
could have told him what might have happened had he not suddenly
heard Emily\’s ringing voice come up the stairs.

\”Captain!\” she exclaimed happily. \”We\’ve just gotten
Emily\’s first TV transmission!! I\’d love it if after you and the
Commander would watch it with me. . . I\’m sure you\’ll love it
just like the people in my century did!!\” She looked down at the
pile of crumpled sheets and the grimy visage of the elder woman\’s
face.

She picked up the only smooth sheet, studying it
critically. \”Hmmm… quite good… but Captain, you really need
to loosen up! Your strokes are so choppy. . .\” she grinned as
she looked up. \”Quite frankly, Captain, you need to CHILL OUT.\”

\”I\’m sure it\’s just fatigue, Emily. . . I still don\’t know
how you talked me into this in the first place.\”

Emily smiled. \”Other than the agitated pencil strokes, you
show great talent and caring in your execution. Just take the
eraser,\” she said, grabbing a glob of rubbery grey goop and
mashed it into the paper at various points, \”And you\’ve fixed it.
There, now it\’s perfect. That wasn\’t so hard… besides, the
noses will be easier.\”

Janeway smiled at the paper. It really was quite good. . .
almost looked like Chakotay\’s eye, too, she thought, looking at
Chakotay and the paper, then held it up beside his face and
studied both critically.

Chakotay looked straight ahead as Janeway did this, the
soul of seriousness. But in his eyes his gentle humor at the
sight of her disheveled face and clothes and the consciousness of
her eyes looking into his was quite plain. Janeway caught sight
of this for a split second, blushing slightly.

Emily watched this little episode with acute interest,
feeling the same twinge of electricity that she caught when she
used to watch. . .

\”Captain!\” she blurted at that opportune moment, startling
the two mesmerized officers back to the Delta Quadrant. They
looked at her, and she blushed furiously. Janeway was still a
bit frazzled, but Chakotay was too curious about the deep color
in Emily\’s face – – she\’d never blushed like that before the
accident, and he never blushed like that, but Janeway. . .

Emily opened her mouth again, disrupting Chakotay\’s
thoughts again. \”I\’m sorry. . . I promised I\’d meet B\’Elanna,
Tom, and Harry to watch the incoming program in the holodeck in a
few minutes. I really have to go. . . will the two of you be
joining us?\” she added.

Janeway didn\’t skip a beat. \”I\’ll come with you. . . I
know I\’m very eager to see what you spent your days watching back
home.\”

Chakotay nodded. \”Sounds fascinating… I\’m game.\”

\”Well, then. Harry said he\’d begin replaying the
transmission soon, so we\’d better hurry,\” said Emily, dragging
the two down the stairs after her, throwing her whole weight into
it.

-18-

Harry and Tom greeted them a few minute later, Emily still
dragging them somewhat even thought it was unnecessary. She let
go as they entered the holodeck, Paris steering them towards a
sofa and a cluster of chairs. B\’Elanna was already seated in one
of three chairs, and Paris and Harry quickly occupied the others
(Harry, of course, moving his closer to the one occupied by
B\’Elanna), Emily sprawled across the floor on a large pillow,
leaving nowhere for them to sit but on the small sofa.

Janeway looked at Chakotay, grinning. When the other\’s
backs were turned, she whispered, \”You know this is a setup.\”

Chakotay nodded, very near laughter himself. He\’d all but
forgotten the incident with his guide a few weeks before, and
when he was with Janeway, he found it very easy to smile
nowadays. He sobered quickly, seating himself on the sofa,
Janeway joining him. Emily looked back at them. \”One warning to
everyone. . . I bite pillows when I watch this show. . . it keeps
me from yelling at the characters.\”

Janeway\’s mouth dropped. \”You\’re kidding.\”

\”Nope.\” she said, shaking her head vigorously. \”Are we
ready?\”

Janeway looked bit wary, but she said, \”As I\’ll ever be.\”

\”OK then. Computer, dim lights to 10%. Run visual
Friedman Omega One, \”Elogium.\”\”

Janeway stifled a gasp as she turned to look at the others,
who were as calm and nonchalant as ever. Then she remembered
that she and Chakotay were the only ones who hadn\’t seen it…
She knew this was all a huge setup, that she should leave now and
find some way to punish Paris and that little whelp Emily for
doing something like this. . . But her curiosity as to this
television, as well as how this escapade would turn out, was
piqued. So she settled back onto the sofa and watched as strange
snippets of loud, grating advertisements for ancient automobiles,
alcohol, etc. She arched an eyebrow as a woman with her face
gave a public service announcement about literacy, but the real
shock was about to unfold.

Suddenly, without warning, she saw Chakotay\’s face, the
incident in the turbolift, vaguely aware of the fact that it was
a Maquis and a Starfleet, then saw Kes and Tom, then Kes\’s
erratic behavior. More commercials, then she saw herself talking
to Chakotay.

She dimly heard a squeal from below her, where Emily was
biting her pillow as if to tear it to shreds. She looked up
again to see what she squealed about, Chakotay\’s \”Even you?\”
echoing in her mind and memory again. Still more commercials – –
did Emily ever get used to those inane soundbites? – – then she
saw herself and Kes, scared and sweaty jumping at her fearfully.
She watched a few minutes more, talking to Chakotay in her rose-
tinged Ready Room. Emily\’s muffled squeal was heard again.

She saw herself parading around as the rest of the drama of
Kes\’s early coming-of-age and the strange creatures reunfolded
before her eyes, the scenes on the Bridge vaguely punctuated by
squeals and mild muffled oaths of, \”Damn it, NOW!!\” As she
rewatched the last scene from a new angle, from \”Do you think
it\’s a sexual attraction?\” to \”If I ever need to know anything
about of mating processes. . .\” seeing herself and Chakotay in a
new light.

As the last of the credits rolled in the darkened room, she
felt an arm across her shoulder. She turned, finding the
holodeck empty and Chakotay very close to her as he watched the
now black screen.

Chakotay\’s eyes may have been glued to the set, but his
peripheral vision detected her scrutiny and merely tightened his
grip on her shoulder.

Janeway looked over to Chakotay, eyeing his profile for a
few minutes. Finally, she stood up, extricating herself from his
half-embrace. \”I really have to go. . .\”

Chakotay, no matter whether he realized it or not, reddened
furiously. Janeway smiled wanly, feeling as uncomfortable as he
looked. She patted his shoulder chummishly, and strode out of
the holodeck.

-19-

Paris, Harry, B\’Elanna, and Emily slipped out one by one
into the hall unbeknownst to the commanding officers, Emily
lingering the longest, waiting as long as possible before she
beat her retreat. The four met in the Mess Hall a few minutes
later, regaling Kes with all the details of the set up,
punctuated with gasps (from Kes) and giggles (from Emily).

\”I can\’t believe you used to watch that every week!\” said
Kes, shaking her head.

Emily eloquently shrugged her shoulders. \”Well, it wasn\’t
just watching it on TV – – people wrote TONS of stories about you
guys.\”

\”Whoa – – US???\” gasped Harry.

\”Heck yeah! T/K, D/K, everyone in the senior staff – –
mostly T/K and J/C, though.\”

\”What\’s J/C and T/K stand for?\” inquired Kes innocently.

Emily smiled maliciously. \”Janeway/Chakotay and
Torres/Kim.\”

Paris fell out of his seat, dissolving into peals of
laughter. \”No crap!?!\” he bellowed heartily.

\”I swear – – I even wrote some.\” she said, placing a hand
over her heart.

\”NO WAY!\” said Harry.

Emily nodded vigorously. \”WAY! It\’s a real trip! I could
show you some of the stuff…\”

\”YES!\” snickered Tom. \”I HAVE to read this stuff if it has
Harry and Chakotay in it!\”

\”Hey, I wouldn\’t be so quick, Paris! There\’s plenty of
slash about you.\”

Paris puffed up his chest. \”I am a ladies\’ man.\”

\”Ummm… most of it is SLASH – – as in Paris/Kim and
Paris/Chakotay.\”

Tom\’s eyes bugged out, causing riotous laughter. \”You
little. . .!!\”

But Emily quickly wormed out of the way, hiding behind
B\’Elanna, who was doubled over in laughter. \”Paris…
CHAKOTAY???\” she snickered.

\”Yes?\” a booming voice smiled behind them.

\”AIEE!!\” squealed Emily, jumping a mile.

\”I heard my name. . . is there a problem?\”

\”PROBLEM? PROBLEM? Of COURSE not!! What makes you think
that?? No. . . nothing. . . not a thing. . .\” flubbered Emily,
waving her hands wildly.

Chakotay felt sorry for the poor little girl, obviously
flustered. He might have smiled paternally to put her at ease,
but he was a bit angry at their little trick, and still smarting
from Janeway\’s hasty departure, so he decided to take the
slightly sadistic approach.

Setting his face in a stony line, he said coldly, \”Well, if
that\’s all, I think I\’ll turn in. Good night.\” – – leaving the
little gossipy group agape and wide-eyed.

-20-

Late the next evening, after a day of speeding through an
empty sector of space, Janeway and Chakotay found Emily in the
holodeck, garbed in her grungy clothes which were covered with a
fine dusting of powder, immersed in the delicate carving of a
block of marble.

Emily looked up from her work, smiling dispite the smudge
across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. \”You\’re late.\”

\”Tell me, Cadet, do you ever use your replicator rations on
food?\” asked Janeway with a small smile.

\”Nope. . . after eating school lunches for so long, I\’m
used to disgusting food. Besides, feeding the soul is so much
more fulfilling.\” she grinned.

\”What is this?\” Chakotay said, peering around to inspect
the chiseled surface.

Emily smiled, quickly covering the block with a sheet.
\”It\’s a statue I\’m making for the hydroponics garden. As for the
design. . . it\’s a surprise.\”

Emily turned her back to them, waving them away. \”Go – –
work – – create!\” she mumbled.

Chakotay snickered. \”So THAT\’s what they meant by artistic
temperament.\”

Janeway suppressed a bubble of laughter, trying to finish
her drawing. Emily had desperately tried to teach her noses, but
to no avail. Emily didn\’t get any work on her secret project
that day – – she was constantly being called back for more help.

Finally, Emily threw up her hands. \”I give up! I didn\’t
think I\’d have to do this, but it seems it\’s the only method I
haven\’t tried.\” At her wit\’s end, she picked up a black ink pen,
grabbed Chakotay\’s face and very deliberately drew a circle on
the tip of his nose between the two nostrils, then a long line
from his forehead through the circle. \”If that doesn\’t help,
Captain, I\’m in alot of trouble, so JUST DO IT!\” she sighed,
highly aggravated, stalking back to her own work impatiently.

Janeway looked at Chakotay, two new lines on his face, and
threw her pencil over her shoulder. She shook her head, nearly
falling off her stool in a fit of laughter. Emily turned only
once to glare at the two, clutching their sides in laughter, a
frown on her face but a twinkle in her eyes. She returned to her
work with a new vigor.

-21-

\”I\’m dying to know what that statue is!\” sighed Janeway,
her eyes aglitter as she sketched the outline of the distant
mountain.

Even long after Emily had completed the human features part
of her instruction and moved on to painting the landscape around
them, Chakotay continued to spend his evenings in the holodecks
with the Captain and Cadet Friedman in the art program or with
the other senior officers watching the 20th century television
series that Emily had had sent from her double.

But Emily wasn\’t often in the room with the two senior-most
officers. She was often working on her own in another part of
the program on her secret marble statue, leaving the two alone
for long expanses of time.

By now it was patently apparent to them what Emily and the
others\’ goal was, and was becoming a great joke to watch Paris &
Co. watching them on the Bridge, in the holodeck, etc.
Occasionally they\’d throw them a bone: a stolen glance, a blush,
a head resting on a shoulder, but it was all in good fun – – as
far as they were concerned, it was a totally platonic friendship
with a smidge of innocuous innuendo to throw them off their
backs.

Ever since Emily\’s rather twisted teaching method for
drawing noses was implemented a few weeks before, Janeway and
Chakotay had grown so much closer. . . but not as Emily and the
senior staff had hoped. They were very dear friends who, thanks
to Emily, had learned to laugh together.

They spent alot of free time together, inspiring wild
theories, fueled by \”reports\” from Paris and Emily, who reveled
in what seemed to be their plan\’s fulfillment, and rumors flew
fast and thick on the tiny ship. It didn\’t hurt the speculations
that the droll day-to-day duties of maintaining a starship were
very boring recently – – anything to take the edge off the
incessant, permeating dullness was a welcome change, especially
if it had to do with the senior officers.

And so it was as Janeway and Chakotay sat in the sunny
pavilion of the holodeck, chatting blithely as they felt the
hidden eyes on the two friends, even here.

Perhaps the scene would go on this way, unchanging, until
the very last day of their lives, had not Fate intervened with a
well-chosen phrase and an old Scotch ballad. . . But everything
must change sometime, somehow – – and this close friendship had
reached its turning point on that sunny afternoon.

Chakotay leaned back on the wooden bench, staring at the
wooden easel and canvas that had replaced the long table and
piles of crumpled paper, then smiled chummishly at the multi-
colored woman mixing paints on the canvas with abandon. \”I\’d be
lying if I didn\’t admit to being a little curious about it
myself. . . but we have to be patient. Kes said they\’re going to
unveil in the garden next week. . . but I don\’t think I can wait
that long.\” he snickered.

\”Bide a wee, Chakotay. . . Bide a wee.\” smiled Janeway from
behind her easel. She did not catch the look on his face as he
paled at her words.

\”Where did you get THAT?\” he asked.

\”What? \’Bide a wee\’ is an old Scotch line out of an old
love song,\” she said flippantly, humming a bit under her breath,
not seeing the color change on his face as he listened.

BIDE A WEE

\”The puir auld folk at home, ye mind,
Are frail and failing sair;
And weel I ken they\’d miss me, lad,
Gin I come hame nae mair.
The grist is out, the times are hard,
The kine are only three;
I canna leave the auld folk now.
We\’d better bide a wee.

\”I fear me sair they\’re failing baith;
For when I sit apart,
They talk o\’ Heaven so earnestly,
It wellnigh breaks my heart.
So, laddie, dinna urge me now,
I surely winna be;
I canna leave the auld folk yet,
We\’d better bide a wee.\”

She painted in silence, wondering why Chakotay didn\’t
rejoin her or start a new vein of dialogue. She added a swatch
of color, then laid down her brush and palette. \”What\’s wrong?\”

\”That. . . song.\”

Janeway smiled. \”I didn\’t know I sang THAT bad, Chakotay.\”

\”No. . . it\’s just. . .\”

By this time, Janeway had detected a strange tone she\’d
never heard before, and had come from behind the easel to stand
beside him. \”What?\’ she asked concernedly, placing a hand on his
shoulder.

He looked up. \”A few months ago, I had a very strange
vision. It was very disturbing. My guide didn\’t answer my
question, just sort of. . . changed. . . then disappeared.\”

\”What do you mean, \’changed\’?\”

\”My surroundings turned into a seashore – – like yours – –
and my guide grew green scales right before she said something
cryptic and vanished.\”

Janeway gulped. \”Sca. . . Scales? Like a lizard?\”

Chakotay nodded, not understanding until he saw how very
pale she had become, and how her hands were clasped very tightly
together, until the knuckles were white. The strange vision
became very clear. \”Your guide is. . . ?\”

Janeway nodded. Then her head tilted somewhat. \”You know,
I had a strange vision myself a month or so ago. I didn\’t get to
ask my question – – it just grew fur and vanished before I could
say a word.\”

Now it was Chakotay\’s turn to stare. \”Fur. . . gold fur?\”

Janeway nodded. \”Your guide?\”

\”It would seem so.\”

Janeway sat down on the wooden deck, thinking thoughtfully
for a few moments before looking up again. \”Do your people
believe in Fate?\”

Chakotay smiled. \”I\’m sure even if they didn\’t, they\’d
make an exception in this instance.\”

Janeway smiled, but she was still a bit confused. \”But I
don\’t see how \’bide a wee\’ comes into all this.\”

Chakotay leveled with her, his eyes very dark and his face
very somber. \”Are you sure you want to know?\”

Janeway said, \”Of course.\”

Chakotay looked up for a minute, shook his head, and took
her hand. Janeway looked puzzled until he nodded in Emily\’s
direction, then nodded and followed him down the stairs until
they reached the far point of the lake, at a dock across from
pavilion.

Chakotay looked around, then turned to Janeway. Janeway
looked very hard at Chakotay, the feeling that what he was about
to say was irrevocable. The thought frightened her for a split
second, then she lifted her head. As he had said what seemed an
eternity ago, no matter what happened here, they would overcome
it.

She nodded a little, and Chakotay looked at her, then
turned to the lake, a small smile on his lips. Janeway studied
his profile as he said with great emotion, \”My guide smiled at
me, then said, \’She loves you, Chakotay. Bide a wee.\’\” He
turned back to where she waited expectantly. \”It wasn\’t until I
heard you say that that I knew it was you.\”

Janeway looked up at Chakotay, who looked as if he wanted
to bite his tongue out. Other than that, his face was
unreadable. Finding her voice, she asked softly, \”Are you saying
you\’re in love with me, Chakotay?\”

Chakotay looked at her suddenly, startled. He could deny
it – – say he was only relaying what his foolish guide had
said… but he didn\’t. He looked at Janeway, whom\’s hands had
somehow found their way into his. He smiled warmly at her.

\”Yes.\”

Janeway was silent for what seemed an agonizing eternity in
his mind. Then she looked at him seriously. Suddenly, like a
fog lifting, her eyes beamed, and a slow smile bloomed on her
lips. She wasn\’t angry, wasn\’t repulsed. . . she was full of
pure joy. She pulled her hands away, and wrapped them around his
neck. \”I love you too, Chakotay.\”

She tilted her head up, kissing him softly. He wrapped his
arms around her waist, returning her kiss, a smile crossing his
lips happily.

She pulled away just slightly, her forehead on his chin.
She could feel his smile in her hair, and knew this was meant to
be. It would be an uphill struggle with protocols lashed firmly
to their backs, but she\’d rather traverse this road with him than
any rose-strewn path with anyone else. . . even. . .

\”Mark,\” she cried, a strangled utterance. She pushed from
Chakotay\’s embrace and stared out at the lake, suddenly very
cold. She thought she\’d put him behind her. . . She imagined
getting home – – to Mark – – as she had so many times before, but
now she saw her – – old friend happy to see her alive and well
and in love – – with someone else. She thought very hard,
racking her brain for reason – – logic.

Mark was her lover. . . was. That was the key word – –
\”was.\” Mark was a kindred – – but how could he possibly
understand her now, even if they got home tomorrow? She needed
someone who knew where she was coming from, who understood. She
stared at the lake\’s surface below her until she saw a familiar
figure join her.

She looked up. Chakotay looked at her with a wry smile.
\”I know you are in love with that Mark. . . and I wouldn\’t blame
you one iota if you laughed in my face right now and pledged your
undying affection for Mark.\” He looked up again from his study
of the water. \”But don\’t.\”

Janeway smiled. Chakotay, her dear friend, and Mark, her
lover, had met in the depths of her heart and graciously accepted
the reversal of their roles in her life. She put her hands back
into Chakotay\’s with a gentle squeeze. \”I wasn\’t planning on
it.\”

-21-

The senior staff, along with Cadet Friedman, gathered in
the hydroponics garden a week later to unveil the first piece of
statuary by Cdt. Emily Friedman.

Janeway clutched Chakotay\’s hand in excitement. \”I thought
this day would never come!\” she whispered.

\”Knowing Emily, I have no doubt it will be interesting.\”
smiled Chakotay.

A loud *ahem* from Emily got the assembled group\’s
attention. \”Thank you all for coming. I\’d like to thank Kes for
allowing me to display this piece in the garden, as well as
Neelix for making the food digestible while I save up my rations
for the raw materials. And a very special thanks to my mentors,
Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, to whom this is humbly
dedicated. So, without further brown-nosing…\” she said,
yanking off the loose fabric to reveal…

\”The senior staff!\” murmured Janeway, walking closer to get
a better look.

It was truly a masterpiece: the Captain and Commander
amidst the visages of the senior staff. Emily smiled.
\”Recognize it?\” she snickered.

Realization dawned in Janeway\’s features. \”The picture Kes
took! How clever!\” she grinned.

\”Look at the base,\” she smiled.

Janeway looked. At the bottom was painstakingly carved,
\”No matter what happens, we\’ll make it. Remember that.\” and the
artist\’s name in very small marks. Janeway looked up from where
she crouched. \”It\’s lovely, Emily… lovely.\”

Emily pulled her up, pointing out a minuscule object in the
Janeway-statue\’s hand. Janeway squinted as she saw the tiny
creature. Her eyes widened. \”A…\”

Emily shushed her. \”You know better than I do that you
can\’t NAME your animal guide – – sacrilegious and all. Only you,
me, and Commander Chakotay know about it. You can\’t see it
unless you\’re looking for it.\”

Janeway smiled. \”Thank you.\”

Emily grinned. \”Only a little gesture for my \’godparents\’
\” She looked beyond Janeway, turning the older woman and
practically shoving her with a laughing, \”Now you two go have
fun. It\’s way past my bedtime.\” She dusted her hands, and
herded the rest of the officers out, leaving the two alone. Only
Paris and Emily lingered just long enough to see them turn
towards each other and meet before the statue as the doors slid
closed, their own hands meeting in a high-five as they
congratulated themselves on a job well done.

************************************************************
PART THREE: Never Underestimate.
************************************************************

-1-

All was calm aboard the Starship Voyager a few weeks after
Emily\’s statue was unveiled in hydroponics garden, where the
young cadet now sat, immersed in what was obviously a well-read
book after her arduous daily studies with Tuvok. It was very
silent in the garden that evening, as she was the only person in
the huge room.

A few minutes later, the garden doors slid open and a firm,
quick step echoed in the room. Emily lifted her head briefly,
then shrugged casually and resumed her reading.

As Chakotay made his way through the maze of tall planting
containers overgrown with vegetation, searching for the small
sample of herbs Kes had told him were growing in a small corner
of the hydroponics bay.

He didn\’t see Emily\’s feet jutting out from behind the huge
statue until it was too late. Luckily he grabbed one of the tall
metal poles that held the planting trays up and regained his
balance before he crashed into the floor. He shook his head as
he heard the familiar peal of laughter echo from the hidden nook
just behind him. The laughter died down to a snicker after
several minutes, then a small sigh as the feet retreated and
silence reigned again.

That got Chakotay\’s attention. Emily was always smiling a
little, or outright laughing – – she just had an air about her
that radiated pure joy – – partially acquired from Kathryn during
the accident, but mostly from her own natural exuberance. She
was also rather like Tom Paris in a way: she would rub in a joke
for all it was worth. She never just stopped laughing without
some sly rib – – it was just not in her nature.

In fact, as he thought about it, she had been rather quiet
for a few weeks. He walked around to the back of the statue and
found Emily cross-legged, buried in a very old-looking book. Her
full lips were pulled very thin in concentration, her wild hair
pulled back in the two small braids that flanked her head and
joined with a small knot at the back of her head, giving her
features a distinctly Janeway look, dispite the rich coloring of
her complexion and the sharpness of her nose. After a moment,
she noticed someone was looking down at her and looked up very
slowly, another alien movement to her.

\”Yes, sir?\” she asked politely, placing a strip of thin
leather between the leaves of her book and putting it beside her
quietly, almost reverently.

Chakotay smiled at the girl who stared solemnly up at him
with soft blue eyes. \”What\’s up, Lea?\”

\”Nothing, sir. Is Lieutenant Tuvok upset with me, sir?\”
she inquired.

\”No… not that I know of – – yet,\” he grinned.

Emily smiled a little, but quickly sobered. \”Then what,
sir?\”

\”You just seemed a little… quiet lately.\”

Emily cocked her head and looked straight up at him. \”\’Tis
better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your
mouth and remove all doubt.\”

\”That\’s never been your philosophy before.\”

Emily narrowed her eyes defensively, the blue of her iris
consumed by the dark chocolate brown on their edges and the
blackness of her pupils. Her voice deepened with a defensive
note in it. \”Just because I get a little hyper sometimes means
I\’m not allowed to be quiet sometimes?\” she glowered.

\”I\’m not saying that…\”

Something deep inside her snapped, so she said brusquely,
\”Then what are you saying, Commander? Because frankly I don\’t
see any point to this entire conversation.\” She picked up her
book from beside her and stood up, nearly knocking her head
against the marble statue. She strode past Chakotay, then turned
back and added, \”If you find a reason to continue this
conversation… don\’t bother.\” And then she left, muttering,
\”Osombre!\” under her breath.

Chakotay stared, then shook his head and returned to his
search of those damned herbs…

-2-

\”What is it, Chakotay?\”

Chakotay started from his reverie, finding Janeway looking
up at him worriedly as she palmed her cue from hand to hand. He
smiled briefly, glad for the millionth time that day that he had
the good fortune to have fallen for such an amazing woman like
Janeway who cared about him so utterly.

He sighed, placing the cue he had been gripping tightly on
the table and running his hands through his hair. \”It\’s Lea,
Kathryn: she\’s acting very strangely. An hour ago I found her in
the hydroponics garden reading behind the statue. I asked her
what was wrong, but she looked at me as if I was the lowest
lifeform in the universe, snapped at me, and then stalked out of
garden.\”

Janeway smiled. \”You of all people should know about
teenager\’s attitudes, Chakotay. She\’s fourteen – – of course
she\’s going to act like this sometimes, and all we can do is stay
out of the way when she does.\”

Chakotay groaned. She was almost fifteen… which wasn\’t
very heartening. He felt a new-found sympathy and awe at his own
father\’s nearly infinite patience with him at that age. And
instead of being grateful, he\’d turned his back on him and left
the tribe for Starfleet. He shook his head. \”I\’ll be damned if
she turns out like me, Kathryn.\” he said.

Janeway put her hand on his tense arm. \”Oh, I don\’t know
that I\’d hate a little super-composed version of you around the
ship,\” she smiled. \”Just be patient and don\’t worry so much…
she\’ll snap out of it eventually. Maybe I\’ll go talk to her.\”

\”Maybe she\’ll listen to you… you are her heroine.\” he
grinned wanly.

\”I am?\” she said.

Chakotay nodded. \”Before she hated my guts she did tell me
how she always looked up to you and was inspired by you. I can\’t
say I disagree with her.\” he smiled.

Janeway smiled back, kissing him on the cheek. \”I think
I\’ll talk to her now.\”

-3-

How quickly art the mighty fallen in the eyes of those who
worship them! Janeway found Emily in her quarters, the same book
in her lap and the same diligent look on her face. When she saw
Janeway, her reaction wasn\’t as violent, just horribly distant.
\”Yes, ma\’am?\”

Janeway didn\’t think it wise to remind her she hated to be
called \”ma\’am\” just then, so she just laid her hand on the young
girl\’s arm and asked, \”Chakotay\’s worried about you. What\’s
wrong?\”

Emily angrily ran her hands through her hair and groaned
loudly. \”Why does everyone think something\’s wrong with me??
Boy, maybe if I was jumping around beating the hell out of
someone I\’d seem normal – – Is that it??\”

Janeway looked puzzled. \”You\’ve just been quieter than
normal…\”

\”Oh, so since you know me all of ten months you now know
everything there is to know about me… Well, Captain, for once,
you\’re wrong. I happen to be quiet sometimes… if that\’s a
problem, then…\” Emily, briefly coming back to her senses, now
realized if she said any more she could be in serious trouble, so
she quickly clamped her mouth shut.

She blushed furiously, clutching he sides of her book,
tears welling up her eyes, catching the faint dark brown streaks
near her huge pupils. \”I\’m sorry, Captain, I…\”

Sitting beside her, Janeway impulsively hugged the poor
girl, which, considering she was a teenager, was taken rather
well by the young woman. \”It\’s all right, Emily, I understand.
But you shouldn\’t be so hard on me and Commander Chakotay… we
really have your best interest in mind.\”

Emily snuffed loudly, nodding. \”I guess it\’s because of
how he was at fifteen, right?\”

Janeway would have been shocked at her knowledge a few
months before, but she\’d watched enough of Emily\’s TV
transmissions to know the extent of her Voyager knowledge. She
smiled. \”He said he didn\’t want you to end up like him. I think
that\’s one of his greatest fears – – especially since you\’re like
a daughter to him. You\’re a part of him.\”

Emily looked up again, a wan smile on her lips quirking the
dimples near her mouth into existence. \”Really?\”

Janeway ruffled the girl\’s dark brown-red hair. \”Really.\”

Emily frowned a little, her brows knitting as she thought
hard. She looked up again. \”Do you think of me like a daughter,
Captain?\”

Janeway smiled warmly as reflected a little. Since the
transporter accident that had put part of her and Chakotay into
the teenager, she\’d felt a special bond with Emily, as well as
her other surrogate \”parent\”. \”Of course.\”

Emily grinned. \”That means a lot, Captain. I\’ll go talk
to the Commander right now.\”

Janeway patted her arm, noticing the heavy book the girl
was clutching. \”What are you reading?\”

Emily smiled a little. \”\’A Midsummer Night\’s Dream\’… we
had finished reading it in English right before… the accident.\”

\”You\’re homesick.\” nodded Janeway.

\”I guess so. You see, my school was going to put on \’A
Midsummer Night\’s Dream\’ the next week. I was really looking
forward to it – – I love the play.\” She stood up, placing the
book on a narrow shelf, smiling at Janeway. \”I guess I should go
apologize to the Commander. See you later, Captain.\”

Janeway smiled with a small shake of her head as the door
slid closed again, an idea dawning as she stared at the heavy
tome.

-4-

A timid beep startled Chakotay as he sat in his office.
\”Come.\”

He looked up again after a few minutes when he didn\’t hear
a voice or a step into the room. A familiar figure in a dark,
high-collared purple dress stood in the doorway, frozen, the fear
of God in her eyes. He grinned. \”\’Come\’ usually means into the
room, Cadet.\”

\”Yessir.\” she said apologetically, stepping into the room
with a teeny half-step, just enough so that the door slid closed,
making her jump.

\”Is there a problem, Cadet?\”

She gulped quickly. \”Umm… I just came to apologize for
my behavior, sir.\”

Chakotay grinned. \”No problem, Cadet.\”

Emily tried to return his easy grin, failing miserably. \”I
guess I\’ll go now, sir.\”

\”Wait just a second there.\”

Emily turned like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes
widened, the now brown-black braid encircling her head trembling
ever so slightly. \”Yes sir?\”

\”You still haven\’t explained yourself, young lady.\”

Emily really grinned this time, then frowned a little.
\”Now you sound like my dad. YOU didn\’t explain why YOU\’RE on my
case to be perfect little angel, either – – why? If it\’s because
you don\’t want me to end up like you when I turn fifteen, that\’s
a crock and a half, because I\’m not you and even if I was that
wouldn\’t be a horrendous crime anyway… If it\’s because you
still want to impress Janeway, that\’s a bunch of crap too – – you
couldn\’t possibly impress her any more than you already have.\”

Emily exhaled quickly, raking her hand through her hair
frustratingly, her eyes blazing and her mouth in a thin, tight,
very familiar line. She sunk into a seat, elbows on her knees,
ankles crossed, staring straight at him frankly.

Chakotay put down his PADD and stared straight back at her,
but his words were a bit softer and he used his nickname for her
instead of \”Cadet\” : \”I don\’t mean to be hard on you, Lea, it\’s
just that…\”

Emily nodded, her head swiveling in her hands. \”I know – –
when you were fifteen, and I\’m almost fifteen. But since MY
dad\’s been dead for over four hundred years, I don\’t think I\’ll
be pissing him off anytime soon.\”

Chakotay scowled briefly, then grinned. He placed a hand
on her shoulder. \”You have a father… so you\’d better watch
your back.\”

Emily looked up, grinning. \”Yes sir!\” She turned to
leave, but Chakotay caught her again.

\”One more thing.\”

\”Yes?\”

\”What does \’osombre\’ mean?\”

Emily smiled, a trifle embarrassed. \”\’Oso\’ means \’bear\’ in
Spanish, and \’hombre\’ means \’man\’. Roughly translated, the two
together mean \’man-bear\’\”

Chakotay shook his head. \”My fault for asking.\”

Emily grinned again and left with a lighter heart.

– – But the deep circles remained under her eyes and the
impenetrable fog she walked in would not dissipate.

-5-

A week later, Janeway walked into the holodeck, where Tom
and Chakotay were in the middle of a relaxed game of pool, Harry
and B\’Elanna were in the shadowy corner set up especially for
them, and Kes watched Tuvok and the Doctor, deep in a game of
chess at another table near the bar.

She headed over to where Chakotay lined up a complex shot,
his back to her. Paris noticed her, nodding slightly in
greeting, but Chakotay was oblivious. He pulled his cue back,
but a hand caressed his back and neck, sending his shot wildly
askew. \”Damn!\” he yelled, slamming his cue to the table. He
turned around to see who had committed the unthinkable, his eyes
smiling as they met Janeway\’s laughing blue ones.

Paris looked away as the two embraced, as if the pool table
was the most fascinating thing in the world. It was a trait he\’d
gotten a chance to practice and ultimately perfect as of late.
He was overjoyed with the match, as was the rest of the crew, but
sometimes it was a wee bit depressing to him to see all these
happy couples surrounding him.

Finally, they parted, their foreheads touching as Janeway
traced his grin lovingly with a finger. She smiled happily, her
eyes beaming with the sparkle of a new idea. \”I have an idea!\”
she grinned, now gesturing to the entire room.

\”What?\” chorused seven voices.

Janeway, arm still wrapped around Chakotay\’s neck, smiled.
\”I\’ve figured out how to get Emily\’s spirits up again!\” she said
triumphantly.

\”What?\” the chorus rechanted.

Janeway extricated herself from Chakotay\’s embrace and
turned to face the assembled company. Even Harry and B\’Elanna
had edged from the woodwork to hear Janeway\’s idea.

\”She\’s horribly homesick lately – – she wanted to be in a
play that was put on shortly after she left. And I thought if
we…\”

\”Put on the play instead she\’d brighten up a bit?
Wonderful idea, Captain… but is it feasible?\” asked Paris.

\”It\’s \’A Midsummer Night\’s Dream\’ – – there aren\’t that
many parts, and we have audience enough for several performances.
We can program the holodeck for a stage, and cast ourselves and a
few subordinates in the roles.\” Janeway\’s eyes glittered.

\”I think it\’s a great idea!\” cried Harry. \”Let\’s take a
vote! I\’m in.\”

B\’Elanna paled a trifle, but nodded her head in assent.
\”I\’m not much of an actress, but I\’m in.\”

\”Me too,\” grinned Tom devilishly.

\”It\’s sounds wonderful! I\’m sure Neelix would do it too!\”
beamed Kes, so of course the Doctor readily agreed.

\”I\’m game,\” said Chakotay, trying not to be betray his
eagerness to see Kathryn out of uniform.

\”That\’s everyone, except…\” everyone turned to look at
Tuvok, who stood, shaking his head vehemently.

Janeway crossed over to him. \”Tuvok, you MUST join in!\”

Tuvok sighed. \”If you wish, Captain.\”

Janeway beamed. \”I\’ll go tell Emily. Tom, you start on a
suitable program to rehearse in. I\’ll send copies of the play to
each of your PADDS – – we\’ll meet at 2230 tomorrow night.\”

-6-

\”You\’re doing WHAT?!?\”

Emily slapped her book shut violently and stared at
Janeway. \”You\’re putting on \’A Midsummer Night\’s Dream\’ – – for
me?\”

\”Well, yes. I thought you\’d be excited. Even Tuvok is
going to act in it.\”

\”I\’m touched – – really. I\’m just – – surprised. Have you
decided on parts?\”

\”Not yet. I thought you might like to figure that out.\”

\”You as Titania, Chakotay as Obereon, B\’Elanna and Harry as
Lysander and Hermia… I suppose Tuvok could play Egeus…
Definitely Tom as Nick Bottom.\”

Janeway was secretly horrified about pandering to Tom in an
ass\’ head, but she stifled that nauseating thought and asked,
\”What about yourself?\”

Emily blushed. \”The only part left is Puck.\”

Janeway arched an eyebrow, reflected on the play again, and
laughed out loud. \”Of course! The little devil in the midst of
all the madness!\”

She perked up immediately, grinning devilishly as a new
thought struck her. \”Can Chakotay play a fairy King?\” she
snickered.

Janeway smiled a little. \”I\’m sure Chakotay can do
anything he sets his mind to.\”

Emily nudged her a little. \”Now don\’t you start! I get
enough from Harry singing B\’Elanna\’s praises morning, noon, and
night – – then it was Chakotay, and now you… yeesheth!\”

Janeway smiled again. \”Getting into Shakespeare mode?\”

Emily groaned. \”Maybe be I should play Titania,\” she
grinned evilly.

\”Not a chance!\”

They dissolved into laughter, unheeding the beep and swish
of the door. A booming voice cut through the peals of laughter.
\”What\’s so funny?\”

Janeway looked up, Emily still rolling on the floor, face
beet-red from laughter. She stood up. \”Why nothing, O mighty
Obereon,\” she smirked.

Emily looked up, pure deviltry in her face. \”How doth it
feel to have thy Queen fall for yon Fool by name of Paris?\” she
said hysterically.

Janeway looked at Chakotay with a pained face. \”The sole
detraction.\”

\”Just make sure you don\’t fall for him for real,\” he
grinned.

Janeway turned from him, deciding to goad him deliberately.
\”He IS rather good-looking, don\’t you think, Emily?\”

Emily, who had been watching the little repartee with great
interest, added, \”Why YES… Captain – – you\’d look simply divine
together!\”

Chakotay decided to shut up their teasing once and for all.
He whirled Janeway around, kissing her passionately. Emily\’s
mouth dropped, and Janeway just wrapped her arms around him,
letting him consume all of the air in her lungs. He pulled away
suddenly, smirking, \”Let\’s see Paris do THAT, Kathryn.\”

Then they remembered they had an audience. They turned to
a very calm Emily, smiling sardonically in their direction.
\”Brava, Brava, encore, encore – – next time why don\’t you just do
it on the Bridge? Now… out of my quarters – – there are better
places than an underage Cadet\’s rooms for that sort of thing.\”

-7-

A week later, Emily, Tom, and Janeway were deep in
rehearsal, though they got absolutely nowhere, Janeway constantly
screwing up whenever she had to gaze adoringly at Tom in a
donkey\’s head. \”I can\’t DO this!!\” she snickered, nearly
collapsing in a fit of laughter.

Tom pulled off the donkey head and glared at Janeway.
\”It\’s not THAT funny, Captain.\” he glowered.

\”Yes it is!!\” giggled Emily, nearly falling off the large
rock where she perched.

Tom groaned, but soon brightened and joined the chorus of
merry voices.

A beep broke through the room, and Harry\’s voice rang
through the holodeck. \”Bridge to Janeway. We\’re reading another
large displacement of electricity in the transporter room.\”

Janeway turned to the now mute girl who stood, her knuckled
clenching her lyre in a very un-Puckish manner. \”I thought we
had built a barrier for this!\” Emily hissed fearfully.

Harry agreed over the comm. \”We did, but that last fight
with the Kazon a few weeks ago must have knocked it off-line. No
one thought to check it.\”

Janeway put a hand to her temple. She sighed. \”Let it
transport, Mr. Kim – – that\’s all we can do for now. But I want
you to add checking that surge protector as a top priority after
any and all damage to ship\’s functions from here on out. Janeway
out.\”

Janeway nodded to the dumbstruck teenager. \”Well, Cadet,
since you\’re the unofficial representative of the 20th century,
will you join me in the transporter room?\”

\”Yes ma\’am – – should I change?\” she said, eyeing her gauzy
gown warily.

\”We don\’t have time. C\’mon.\”

-8-

Emily approached the transporter room with dread. When she
could get a view of the platform, she gasped in shock. The
person wasn\’t on the ground – – he was standing, looking around a
trifle dazedly. She smiled a little, then remembered all the fun
they\’d had when she had last seen him almost a year ago – – or
rather, 400 plus years ago.

\”Nathan?\” she whispered in disbelief, then crimsoned when
everyone, including the boy, turned to stare at her.

\”You know this boy?\” Janeway asked gently.

Emily nodded. \”I think so.\”

The boy continued to stare, even as Janeway eyed him. He
was definitely not a private school student – – he wore the jeans
and a dark t-shirt similar to what Emily favored when off-duty.
His hair was dark and long: it hung to his chin, curling ever so
slightly. His face was tan and slightly oval, with deep-set wide
dark brown eyes. In a strange way he reminded her of Chakotay,
but it was more of an indefinable inner quality than his looks.

Nathan in turn stared around at his surroundings.

They stared at each other in silence for several moments,
then the boy cleared his throat and asked, \”Emily?\”

Emily nodded, still in shock. He was taller, his deep
voice a bit deeper. She looked down at her dress and realized
she\’d changed a bit in the last four hundred years or so as well.
\”Is it really you?\”

Janeway hustled the ensign at the console out, nodding to
Emily as she left them in the room alone.

\”Nathan…\” Emily said, the concept of his presence
gradually taking hold.

\”Where am I, Em? What happened?\” He ran his hand through
his hair, sitting down on the platform and looking up
quizzically.

Emily smiled wanly. \”It\’s a long story… Suffice to
say… you\’re in the 24th century.\”

\”WHAT?\” he said, leaping up again.

Emily nodded violently. \”Ever watch \’Star Trek: Voyager\’?\”
she smirked.

\”No way… it isn\’t possible… Star Trek is just a TV
show, Em… seriously! I just talked to you a few days ago!\”

Emily groaned. This wasn\’t going to be easy. \”I didn\’t
quite believe it myself at first… but you get used to it. When
my modem blew a fuse, a double of myself was brought here, with a
mental link to my twin – – the Emily you know – – back on Earth
in the 20th century. Now I\’m a Cadet here. I don\’t know what
really happened in your case, but I have no doubt it was
something similar.\”

Nathan shook his head. Emily chorused his silent gesture,
murmuring, \”Of all the people…\”

\”What?\”

Emily blushed. \”Out of billions of people on Earth, YOU,
one of the weirdest people at our old school, gets pulled into
the Utopian society of the 24th century. But it\’s nice to see an
old friend, Nat.\” She shook her head, and pulled him out of the
transporter room. \”I\’ll take you to the Bridge. You might want
to meet Commander Chakotay.\”

\”WHO?\”

-9-

Janeway sighed a little as she took her seat on the Bridge.
Chakotay leaned over with a glint of worry in his eyes. \”What\’s
wrong?\”

\”The 20th century person we beamed aboard was a… friend
of Emily\’s.\”

\”That\’s good.\”

\”It\’s wonderful for her to have one of her friends around.
He seems very nice.\”

Chakotay arched an eyebrow. \”HE?\”

Janeway crossed her arms defensively. \”It\’s a young
male… dark hair and eyes… what about it?\”

Chakotay grinned evilly. \”It could be an old boyfriend.\”

\”She\’s only fourteen!\”

Chakotay looked at her. He leaned over closer, whispering,
\”Come ON, Kathryn… you don\’t mean to tell me you didn\’t have a
steady boyfriend by the time you were fourteen?\”

Janeway blushed, retorting, \”I suppose you had a dozen by
twelve.\”

Chakotay grinned again. \”It\’s possible.\”

Janeway was about to shoot another rejoiner when the
turbolift doors slid open, revealing Emily and a tallish boy in
very 20th century attire. Chakotay turned, his eyes widening.
Sharpen the features, cut the hair, add a few more wiry muscles
and you had Chakotay at fifteen, complete with the general air of
contempt for tradition and plus an aura of up-yours similar to
the Tom Parises of the world.

He stiffened. He did not like himself very much at
fifteen, he did not like Tom Paris, and the same went for this
smart-ass piece of work. He grinned as he thought of Lea\’s
words: \”If it\’s because you don\’t want me to end up like you at
fifteen…\” He grinned unconsciously. *No… just don\’t want
you going out with boys who are like me at fifteen, young lady.*

Emily spoke up, interrupting Chakotay\’s internal speech.
\”Captain, Commander, this is Nathan Harrington of 20th century
Earth, Houston, Texas.\”

Janeway smiled warmly. The boy returned the smile a trifle
uneasily, which made Chakotay a little more inclined to like
him… but not much. \”Welcome, Nathan.\”

\”Thank you, Captain… though I\’m still rather shaky on
where HERE is.\” he said with an easy, Parisian grin.

Janeway smiled maternally, handing Emily a PADD. \”Cadet
Friedman will brief you on our situation and show you to your
quarters. I assure you we\’re doing everything we can to get you
back.\”

\”Yes, ma\’am.\”

Janeway smiled. \”Just one thing.\”

\”Yes?\”

\”I hate being called \’ma\’am\’. \’Captain\’ will do.\”

\”Of course.\”

He had to give him one thing… he was polite, not a trace
of rudeness – – but the similarity to himself and Tom was
grating. He nodded curtly, and Emily led him off the Bridge.

Chakotay immediately leaned over to Janeway. \”Are you sure
that was wise?\”

\”What?\”

\”Letting Lea show him his quarters.\”

Janeway sighed. \”Honestly, Chakotay, you are positively
pessimistic today! You know as well as I Emily would never even
dream of…\”

Chakotay nodded. \”You\’re right… but she is my \’little
Lea\’\” he smiled. He\’d started calling her Lea (pronounced \”lee\”)
almost as soon as he\’d met her; it just sort of came up… it was
a hell of a lot better than \”Cadet Friedman\” when she was
practically his daughter – – a hell of a lot more so than that
little… he shook the thought from his head. It was useless to
think of a child, as yet unborn, that may or may not be his.

Tom broke the tension with a cheery, \”I like him!\” – –
which did not bode well for the young Harrington\’s
accquaintanceship with Chakotay.

-10-

Emily slumped against the side of the lift. She looked at
the PADD in her hand. \”According to this, your quarters are on
Deck 4.\” A grumble in her stomach raged against that. She
looked up. \”Are you hungry? I just realized I haven\’t eaten in
hours.\”

Nathan nodded. \”Famished.\”

\”Good… to digest Neelix\’s food you have to be desperate
for SOMETHING. I\’d offer my replicator rations, but I spent them
all on the statue and had a week\’s worth revoked for punching
Chakotay.\”

\”Why does that not surprise me?\” smiled Nathan
irritatingly.

Emily\’s eyes narrowed. \”Get it through your skull RIGHT
NOW that I am not the person you knew four hundred years ago.
Partially because of my DNA replacement and partially because
I\’ve grown spiritually since you last bothered to talk to me. I
punched Chakotay by accident.\”

Nathan\’s eyes widened, but he nodded. \”You said this was a
utopian society…\”

\”It is: no drugs, no crime, no war, no plagues – – but the
occasional accidental beating is not uncommon.\” she grinned.

The lift doors slid open, revealing a long corridor. Emily
pulled him along with a trace of her old gung-ho attitude, toward
a loud, cheerful place full of people.

Nathan looked around, confused. \”Where are we?\”

Emily smiled. \”The Mess Hall. If you hold your nose while
you\’re eating Neelix\’s food, you can barely taste it.\”

Nathan groaned. \”I feel better already.\”

She gestured toward a line of crewmen, where a funny
looking alien handed them steaming bowls of green-grey glop.
Emily smiled. \”Hey, Neelix. I\’d like you to meet my friend from
the 20th century, Nathan Harrington.\”

Neelix smiled. \”Hello, Mr. Harrington. Care for some
Shfran bjork?\”

Nathan looked at Emily with a pained look. Feeling pity
for the poor guy, she quickly shook her head. \”He\’s not used to
your culinary expertise… can you make something a trifle less
exotic?\”

Neelix looked injured, but said, \”I suppose I could whip up
something. Which of your 20th century recipes shoul I whip up?\”

Emily looked at him, but he just shrugged. \”Ummm… just a
peanut butter sandwich… one for him, too.\”

Grumbling, he nodded and waved them off, turning to a new
batch of victims. She rolled her eyes to him, smiling, leading
him to a nearby table, where Tom and Harry sat, eyeing the
newcomer with great interest.

She slipped into a seat opposite Tom, and Nathan
reluctantly followed, sitting opposite a very curious Harry. Tom
leaned over to whisper, \”So – – how do you know this new kid, Em?
Beam a new boyfriend from the past?\”

Emily glared. \”This is Nathan Harrington… here totally
by accident. HARRY\” she glared in his direction, \”didn\’t bother
to check on the status of barriers to prevent such a surge.\”

\”Now, now, Em… don\’t blame Harr.\” smirked Paris,
determined to get to the bottom of why Em was so uncomfortable
with having this person from her past here.

Neelix brought over their sandwiches, Emily accepting hers
in stony silence, barely picking at it. \”No good without
Doritos.\” she growled.

Tom took this opportunity to rib her a little. \”You\’re
beginning to sound like your old man, Emma.\”

Emily stood up jerkily, nearly knocking over the table.
She put her face very close to Tom\’s and suddenly smiled, \”Thank
you.\” before whirling around, stalking out of the room.

Harry looked at the snickering boy, saying sheepishly,
\”Here, she left her PADD – – I\’ll take you to your quarters.\”

-11-

Harry led the boy to his quarters: similar to Emily\’s in
size and darkness. Hers were made cozy by knickknacks and
pictures, however: these rooms were just drab and uninspiring.
He had the sudden urge to write a very depressing poem, but there
was nothing to write with. He sat in a chair, staring out into
space. He was millions of miles and hundreds of years from his
home. Emily seemed to have adapted – – but then again, she was a
Trekker, as well as extremely smart – – she could hold her own
with all these adults – – He wondered why that blonde guy said
she sounded like her \”old man\” – – was her father brought here
too?

He thought for a long time, when a beep brought him out of
his haze. He didn\’t know what to do until he heard a muffled
voice saying: \”Say \’come\’.\”

\”Come.\”

The door slid open, revealing Emily, now in a uniform and
carrying a bundle of something. She put it on a nearby table,
blushing. \”I\’m sorry I acted like a jerk earlier… I brought
you a PADD and some clothes. I thought you might want to
write… If you want, I can take you to the holodeck later.\”

Nathan looked at the PADD. \”Is this the PADD?\”

Emily nodded. \”Here\’s how it works.\” she said, handing him
a stylus to write with on the PADD\’s surface. She looked up.
\”I\’m sorry… I have to go… Tuvok doesn\’t like me to be late.\”
she handed him a comm badge. \”Here, if you need me, just tap
this and I\’ll come.\”

Nathan took the PADD and watched her leave. Then he
returned to his perch on the wide window ledge and stared back
into the endless night of space.

-12-

She returned a few hours later, dressed in a dark blue
dress and a pale blue shift underneath. Her hair, redder and yet
darker than he remembered, was pulled back in a braid and she
held a PADD in one hand. \”I reserved space in the holodeck if
you want to join me.\”

\”Sure.\” Not much else to do here… but she evidently
loved it here, even though everyone was older than her here and
she had to work very hard.

They met up with Chakotay as he left his own quarters.
\”Hey, Lea.\” he smiled.

Emily hugged him in greeting. \”Hey yourself, Chakotay. We
were just going to the holodeck… want to join us?\”

\”No thanks… I have to go to the Bridge… Harry thinks
he\’s found something.\”

\”OK – – later then.\”

They rode the lift together, Emily and Chakotay having a
animated conversation, Nathan watching in silence – – he couldn\’t
just TALK to this guy who looked for all the world like he could
snap him in two. The lift doors opened, and the two teenagers
stepped out. Chakotay caught the boy by the arm, pulling him
back as the lift doors closed. He looked squarely into the boy\’s
large brown eyes and growled, \”I don\’t like you or your
attitude… You upset her and I\’ll make you sorry you ever set
foot on this ship.\” Then he pushed him back sharply, saying,
\”Computer, open lift doors.\”

Nathan rubbed his arm as they walked down the corridor.
\”He\’s got something against me, Em.\”

\”What makes you think that, Nat?\”

\”Oh I don\’t know – – maybe because he just said, \’I don\’t
like you or your attitude.\’ – – call it a hunch.\”

\”You don\’t have an attitude…\” Emily turned to look at
the bruise darkening on Nathan\’s arm. \”Did he…?\”

Nathan nodded, and Emily glowered, but they had already
arrived at Holodeck 2. With a hint of tightness in her voice,
Emily ordered, \”Computer, activate program Friedman Beta Seven.\”

The doors slid open, revealing an extraordinary panoramic
view of a peaceful seashore. James\’s eyes bulged, and he asked,
\”Where is this?\”

\”Galveston Bay – – in 2369. Looks a lot better, don\’t you
think?\”

\”No kidding – – who\’d a thought that such a grey and dreary
place could become – – THIS…\”

\”That\’s what I thought when Paris first showed this to me.
I took the existing program and altered it for my own use.
Pretty good for a beginner.\”

\”Wow.\”

\”Wait till you see this…\” With this, she led him to a
flat-roofed little house overgrown with flowers. A small ladder
leaned against the side, and Emily nimbly crawled up, gesturing
for him to follow.

They watched the peaceful scene for long moment, then she
turned to Nathan and said, \”How is everyone back home – – Emily
doesn\’t see much of anyone either.\”

\”Most of us are doing great – – we\’d like to see more of
you, though. You just kind of disappeared after you left
Johnston.\”

Emily sighed. \”I know – – I was trying to escape you
guys.\”

Nathan sounded genuinely hurt and astonished. \”Why?\”

\”You guys treated me like crap – – it was a very depressing
environment. At SAA – – and now here – – I have people who care
about me, no matter what. I don\’t have to put on a mask – – like
I did with you guys – – except maybe Jess.\”

Nathan looked over. \”It wasn\’t just Jess – – a lot of us
weren\’t phony, Em – – I liked you.\”

\”Really?\”

\”Sure – – you were really great – – remember all those gym
classes we missed in drama together? Or Algebra and that air-
head teacher? Or Mrs. Kretzer – – you were her favorite – – \”
he grinned. \”We all had to put on an act there, Em – – but that
didn\’t mean we didn\’t genuinely like you.\”

Emily returned his grin, and smiled, \”I understand… sort
of. I still don\’t understand why Chakotay has a thing against
you, though.\”

-13-

Chakotay, searching for his little \”daughter\” later that
night, found her still in the holodeck, but a starkly different
program running – – one that could only have been designed by
her. It wasn\’t much – – yet – – but the intricacy and care was
evident, even though the street only showed three houses: a brick
work house, with another smaller brick house next to it, and the
piece de resistance, a comparatively massive stucco house that
stood across the street, flanked by shrubbery and flowers planted
with great care, as well as two relatively young trees with the
beginnings of new growth on the tips of their delicate branches.
An ancient car, shiny and granite blue, was parked in the
driveway. The great detail and loving care in which it was
programmed led Chakotay to assume this was Emily\’s old home.

A shadow of movement flickered in a dormer high above him
as he opened one of the double doors, a wood and glass affair,
stepping inside , instinctively lifting his head at the sound of
a throaty purr as four silent feet padded down the staircase. The
cat, a stocky mass of blue-grey fur that rumbled like a motor as
it looked up at Chakotay with uncanny blue-green eyes. As if to
lead him somewhere, she turned and bounded up the first few
stairs, then waited patiently for him to follow.

She guided him up a flight of stairs carpeted with plush,
dark green material, then down a bright airy hallway to a white
door that hung slightly ajar. The room was most definitely a
teenage girl\’s, and judging from the still form that lay across
the neatly-made bed, a book dropping lazily from one light brown
hand and the other falling limply across her midsection, it was
Emily\’s. He stepped in quietly, afraid of intruding on her well-
deserved respite, eyeing the strange and curious knickknacks that
had been so carefully recreated.

The bed stretched across the far wall, where three huge
windows let in light and a view of a small blossoming garden and
a huge pecan tree just beginning to green. The near wall that
intersected it was flanked with two white dressers and two tall
white bookcases, crammed with as many curios as books. He edged
nearer, grinning as he saw the piles of CDs and tapes, the long
length of Voyager video tapes carefully labeled and lined up near
a pile of clay figurines lovingly hand-crafted by the room\’s
owner. A model, obviously the first attempt at the art, of the
Voyager stood next to an autographed picture of some man he did
not recognize.

The next book case was crammed full of mysteries and more
figurines, until he came to the top shelf, where he grinned
widely. It was shoved full of little hints of Voyager : a
magazine with Janeway\’s face, three Voyager books, and two small
plastic figurines in crimson and black : one with blue eyes,
brown hair and four pips, the other with dark eyes and hair, and
a very familiar tattoo. They stood before a stack of colorful
postcards and another autographed picture, of a woman in jeans
and a white shirt, smiling back at him in the slow, serene way
that made his heart jump.

He turned, finding a tall white desk plastered with more
Voyager and art memorabilia: sketches and pencils, rows of books
and paper, and a grinning man\’s picture who looked very much like
him. He shook his head, eyeing all the stuffed animals that
looked down at him from lofty perches on the tops of tall
bookcases and up at him from clusters on the floor. Still
another bookcase flanked the wall parallel to the windowed wall,
this one crammed with music boxes and dripping with jewelry that
hung from different places. The lower shelves were crammed with
Dickens and Shakespeare, as well as those of more obscure
authorship, whom\’s work had disappeared over the centuries.

The cat cried as she felt the movement of her mistress
under her folded limbs. Emily looked up, not much surprised that
he was here, or else hid her surprise almost as skillfully as her
guardians. She smoothed the braids that flanked her head, which
sleep had fuzzed with stray wisps. She looked up tiredly,
absently stroking the cat\’s plush fur as she pulled herself into
a position cross-legged on her bed.

He smiled as she set the cat on the ground, even as it
howled in protest. \”Ussh, Ko – I mean, Minka.\” She straightened
on the bed, blushing for what seemed no apparent reason. \”I
forget that she isn\’t my Ko Ko sometimes.\” she said sheepishly.
\”They act so similarly – – of course – – but I purposefully made
Mink,\” she nodded at the cat, now playfully tumbling with an
invisible foe, \”A female so I wouldn\’t confuse them. Wherever he
is now, I\’m sure he wouldn\’t appreciate a hologram with his
name.\” She blushed. \”I remember the huge fight my sister and I
had over the name – – then, when I got my way, she teased the
daylights out of me, so we finally shortened it to Ko Ko.\”

\”Why did she tease you about its name?\” asked Chakotay
gently. It was clear she was homesick. She\’d been with them for
almost a half a year now, but had never showed anything but
abject wonder at where she was… they knew she\’d inevitably
begin to show the signs.

She blushed again, shaking her head. \”My friends and I had
been discussing cat names for months, and finally when I told
them I was getting a Blue at last, they started wondering what to
name it. My friend Becky decided on the perfect name, but…\”

\”But…?\”

Emily set her lips in a thin tight line. \”It was a very…
Trekker name – – but no one outside of Trekkidom knew any of the
names except the Captain\’s. So I figured it was relatively
safe.\”

\”What did you name it?\”

Emily turned and stared at him. \”The Russian Blue is a
strong, quiet cat that is very affectionate when it chooses to be
– – which is only with a few people, which it loves
unconditionally, even when they slug it upside the arm. Add that
to the fact that Becky is – – was – – the online head of a fan
club entitled \”The Commander\” – – What do YOU think its name
was?\”

Chakotay grinned… but he was rewarded with a stony glare.
Her eyes hardened, her lips tightened, and her eyebrows knitted.
The dimples vanished, with them any hint of a sense of humor or
laughter. Chakotay became defensive as he saw her almost become
an entirely new person as her features were stripped of any
softening good humor. \”What?\”

\”Why did you rough up my friend, Chakotay?\” she said
bluntly.

\”I didn\’t \’rough\’ up the hooligan, Lea.\”

\”He isn\’t a hooligan, Chakotay – – do you really that
little of me to think I\’d be friends with a hooligan?\”

\”But he…\”

Emily seethed. Her hands clenched and unclenched in a very
familiar attitude, her knuckles white. \”LOOKED like a hooligan?
Damnit, Chakotay, I thought prejudice like that was gone with New
Coke and black and white TVs! You\’re the wisest person I know –
– your people were persecuted for centuries for the very same
reason! – – how can YOU be so shallow?\”

Chakotay looked very contrite. \”You\’re right… I\’m sorry,
Lea.\”

\”I\’m not the one you should apologize to, Chakotay. He\’s
in his quarters : Deck 4, Room 27B.\” And with that, Emily exited
the dazed Commander\’s office in a huff.

-14-

Nathan was back on his perch looking out unseeing into
space. A sudden beep in the silence startled him. He smoothed
his hair in an instinctive gesture, calling , \”Come.\”

Chakotay flinched at the similarity of this boy\’s voice and
the voice of the Chakotay-he-had-once-been. The Parisian
jocularity was gone, leaving nothing but a soft-spoken young boy
looking fearfully up at him, making it very clear how much he had
scared him. \”Yes sir?\”

Chakotay smiled a little. If nothing else, these 20th
century teenagers were generous with their dispensing of
politeness and frequent in their use of \”sir.\” \”I just wanted to
apologize for my threat earlier today.\”

\”It\’s OK – – Emily tried to explain – – sort of – – she
gets sidetracked a lot sometimes. Jess used to say it was one of
most likable qualities.\”

\”Jess?\”

\”Jessica Alpert, one of Em\’s best friends… and my
girlfriend.\” he blushed., rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Chakotay grinned. \”What about Emily – – who was her
boyfriend?\”

Nathan snickered. \”Emily was always a bit stand-offish at
that sort of thing – – very friendly, but most of the guys in our
group were jerks in her opinion, and she just didn\’t see the
point.\”

Chakotay raised an eyebrow quizzically, but he wasn\’t about
to intrude on Emily by asking this boy a million questions about
a past she seemed determined to keep back in the 20th century.
\”Well, I have to go to the Bridge. I\’ll see you later.\”

\”Yes, sir.\”

Chakotay stepped out of the boy\’s quarters and nearly ran
into Janeway as she strode purposefully down the hallway toward
the turbolift. She swung carefully out of dodge as soon as she
saw him exit the room, his own face a brown study. Only vaguely
aware of her presence, he followed her path to the turbolift more
out necessity – – he was due on the Bridge in a few minutes – –
than anything else.

As the lift doors closed, Janeway turned to Chakotay, who
stared into space, hands behind his back. \”What\’s up?\”

\”I feel like a jerk.\”

\”Why?\”

\”I scared the hell out of Lea\’s guest – – then Lea chewed
me out about it when she found out about it.\”

Janeway stifled a gasp and then a snicker at the mental
picture of the well over six foot Indian being dressed down by
the comparatively diminutive young cadet. But she kept her face
solemn, drawling, \”That would do it.\”

\”I just came from apologizing to him.\”

\”Well, then, what do you have to be sorry about?\”

\”Nothing, I suppose – – but – – \”

Janeway touched his arm. \”Maybe you should get to know
him… if nothing else it will make you feel better.\”

\”I will.\”

-15-

And Chakotay went through with his vow to befriend the
young boy – – to Emily\’s great surprise. She didn\’t know they
were even getting along until, while playing a game of hoverball
with Tom and B\’Elanna, Chakotay and Nathan walked in dressed in
civilian clothes. Emily turned, perplexed, to Tom, who shrugged
and said, \”I invited them to join us. Is that a problem?\”

\”Just one.\”

\”What?\”

\”We need even numbers.\”

\”Harry said he\’d come as soon as his shift was over – – his
shift just ended, so – – \”

Harry slipped in right after Chakotay and Nathan, before
the doors had a chance to close, a grin on his face. He caught
his girlfriend up in a hasty embrace, and spoke animatedly to
her, then they turned to Tom and Emily with an excited smile.
\”We think we may be able to rejoin Nathan with his alter ego!\”

Emily didn\’t know how to react, so she only sputtered,
\”How?\”

\”The Doctor thinks if we inject Nathan with a slow-acting
atom desperser, then transport him to his last known coordinates
like we attempted to do with you, his atoms would disperse then
rejoin with the other Nathan.\”

\”Is it safe?\”

\”We\’re working on it – – it\’s still just a theory – – we\’ll
still have to work on it for a few more days.\”

\”Well… OK.\” murmured Emily uneasily.

\”Why are you getting all sad? Enjoy the time you have
together, Em! Let\’s play some hoverball!\”

Emily grinned broadly. \”Like you ever win, Tom!\”

-16-

After two weeks of dedicated work, B\’Elanna and Harry
reported they were ready to send Nathan back to \”reunite\” with
his alter ego. The Doctor injected him with the delayed –
reaction atom disperser, then Nathan and Emily, along with Harry,
B\’Elanna, Janeway, and Chakotay, went to the transporter room to
say their final good-byes.

Janeway was first. \”It\’s been wonderful knowing you,
Nathan.\”

\”Thank you, Captain.\”

Harry nodded assent, and Chakotay shook his hand and
grinned. Then he turned to Emily, smiling. She hugged him,
saying, \”Don\’t forget to write Emily as SOON as you get
\’reunited\’ with the other Nathan.\”

\”Chill, Em – – I\’ll be fine.\”

\”You\’d better.\” smiled Emily.

They hugged one last time, then Nathan ascended the
platform and Emily walked over to Harry, who was at the console,
making some last minute preparations.

Janeway looked at Emily, who nodded to her and Chakotay.
Janeway returned the nod, and said, \”Energize.\”

He disappeared very much as Emily herself had – – and he
reappeared very much like Emily had – – but he was unchanged,
except for the fact that he now lay slumped across the length of
the platform.

Emily lunged from where she had stood hovering behind Harry
and rushed over to the still lump and pressed her fingers to his
wrist. The sagging of her shoulders and the horrified look in
her eyes told them more than her broken words could. Wordlessly,
Janeway hugged her, helping the prostrate girl to her feet.
Chakotay lowered his head. \”Someone take him to sickbay… NOW.\”

-17-

The doctor pronounced death at 0702 in the morning, adding
that at the rate his atoms were dissipating his body would
disenigrate in less than 96 hours. Emily was relieved of duty to
grieve. She nodded as Janeway told her, then slipped away to
god-knows-where, no one seeing her again until 0300, when she
slipped into the mess hall for a cup of coffee. She was positive
Neelix wouldn\’t be there so late at night, and she doubted anyone
else was there either. She walked softly into the darkened room,
groping for a cup in Neelix\’s hodgepodge kitchen, so quietly in
fact no one could have possibly heard her – – except for one who
could walk still softer.

Chakotay turned as his finely tuned senses detected another
person slipping into the room. He watched as the girl searched
almost frantically, until her head rose and she met his gaze.
\”Looking for one of these?\” he smiled, raising a mug in his hand.

\”Yes.\” she said.

\”You don\’t really need coffee at this late hour… Here,\”
he said, walking over to the tall bar and handing her a steaming
mug. She drank it a little hesitantly, wrinkling her nose.
\”It\’s decaf – – I\’ve tried to wean the Captain off caffeine with
it.\”

\”Fat chance – – doesn\’t taste the same. You\’d think in the
24th century they\’d have better decaf, but they don\’t.\” smirked
Emily wryly, setting the cup down quickly. \”But it\’s better than
Neelix\’s \”better than coffee\” coffee substitute. What I wouldn\’t
give for a cup of Starbucks.\” She smiled reminicently, the
slight quirking of her lips brightening her face and bringing out
her deep dimples. \”When I was at home Jess, Nathan, and I would
go down to Barnes and Noble and get a ton of books and read them
at the Starbucks inside the store, then return them to the
shelves and leave. But for some reason we always bought the
magazines. Jess would always buy a Seventeen, I\’d buy a copy of
Voyager or People, and Nathan…\” She gripped the mug tightly
and stared into space as her voice failed.

\”You know his alter ego is probably doing all those things
back in your time.\” he said reassuringly.

\”I know that in my head, Chakotay, but still… the Nathan
that – – died – – was still a person with thoughts and dreams and
a face and a name and a soul, even if it was the same thoughts
and dreams and face and name as someone else, his soul is his
own. He deserves to have someone grieve for his soul\’s passing,
Chakotay, and I\’m the only one who can do that here.\” said
Emily, the grip on the cup loosening a little.

\”Well, Tom\’s been looking for you for a while. He thought
you might want to help him with the… preparations. He didn\’t
know what to do.\”

\”A wake.\”

\”A what?\”

\”An Irish wake – – he was more Irish than anything else,
and it\’s the only way I know to grieve. Whenever someone I knew
died, there was always a wake. Besides, that way he doesn\’t need
my help for that – – Carey can do that.\” She looked at Chakotay
with a trace of her old deviltry. \”Just one thing.\”

\”What?\” said Chakotay paternally.

\”For God\’s sake – – make sure there\’s only synthahol for
the wake – – I\’ve read too many \”drunk wake\” Voyager stories to
be comfortable with alcohol.\” smiled Emily.

\”I\’d like to see those stories.\” grinned Chakotay.

\”Methinks four-hundred years in the past is a wee bit far
back to ask Jennifer Pelland for permission.\” snickered Emily,
losing some of her gloom.

\”That\’s my girl – – now, go get some sleep.\”

-18-

The service and wake was a day and a half later. It was a
beautiful send off, considering it was a boy only one of them
knew well. Chakotay administered last rites, and spoke a few
words, then turned to Emily, who nodded and ascended the
platform.

She cleared her throat, looking very young in the dark
dress and tights that covered her entire body except for her oval
face, which was paler than usual, the color drained by the
experience of death. \”When I began to gather my thoughts about
Nathan, I thought I\’d be talking about events you have never
heard of, places and people he touched in his own time. But as I
walked around Voyager, I heard different people talking about
him. I had no idea before his death how deeply he had touched
you all – – through small gestures of friendship, he won over
this crew in the space of a few weeks. And that\’s just the kind
of person he was. Sure, he acted like a dip sometimes, but he
made up for it with his unique brand of good fellowship that I
missed when I left the 20th century, and I miss anew as we gather
to say good-bye. As Nathan\’s alter ego is still on Earth,
enjoying a life most of us can only imagine, or in my case,
remember, this Nathan is also still very much alive, through us
and with us as he enjoys a life in an existence we know nothing
of, and will continue to know nothing of until the twilight of
our own lives breaks and we join in him wherever his soul now
roams.\”

She was glowing, the color back in her cheeks as she smiled
down at the still form that was rapidly disappearing before her.
She crossed herself and made a cross in the air above him, then a
peace sign, whispering with a wry smile, \”Peace, bro.\” She
stepped down, her faith in a higher being embracing her and
keeping her afloat in her grief.

The wake was originally to be held at Sandrine\’s, but Emily
had objected violently. \”This is not Nathan\’s home – – his life
should be celebrated in a place he knew.\”

So Emily had shown Tom her holoprogram of her home, which
they altered slightly for a wake, hanging scraps of black crepe
and volumes of flowers and having Kes and Neelix make a few
sundry platters of food. The overall effect, however, was happy
– – wakes celebrated the life of the deceased, not the death.
Emily had hung oversized pictures of Nathan and their friends
from the old days, along with a picture they had taken a few days
before his death. Pictures from the plays they had acted in
together, old yearbooks, anything Emily could replicate or have
Emily upload from her computer she placed with great care in the
living room and den.

The mourners were a bit taken aback by the cheerful
atmosphere, but Janeway smiled, a bubble of remembrance searing
through her. She squeezed Emily and Chakotay\’s hands,
whispering, \”This reminds me of my great-grandmother\’s wake… I
was very small… I thought it was a party because everyone was
laughing and smiling, but everyone wore black.\”

\”I remember my grandfather\’s wake,\” whispered Emily. \”The
days before it were very scary and trying, but the day of his
funeral, there were very few tears – – at the wake, everyone was
happy and told stories about my grandfather. Even I couldn\’t cry
– – it was very hard, because everyone said I was so like him – –
except he was a genius and I wasn\’t.\”

Chakotay remained silent, remembering the pain he still
carried from his father\’s death. He had been at odds with him at
his death, and his people had no way of celebrating the life of a
person, even if he had felt grief instead of the gnawing guilt
that plagued him. His face grew solemn, and Emily, who had
slipped from beside Janeway to flank Chakotay, putting him in the
center of their little group, looked up at him, very serious.
\”You mustn\’t grieve – – he\’s in a better place, Chakotay.\”

\”I know Nathan is, Lea.\”

\”No… your father. He has forgiven you, Chakotay – – long
ago. I thought your stint on that planet inhabited by the Sky
Spirits taught you that, \”Osombre\”. \” she smiled encouragingly.

\”You watch too much TV, Lea.\”

Emily grinned. \”You know, you\’re getting to be more like
my dad every day, Chakotay.\”

\”Thank you.\”

\”Stop it.\”

-19-

By Emily\’s Ancient Earth calendar, it was August 23th,
2372. She smiled, looking at the time. 2330. She got up from
her position – – Indian style, she thought, chuckling slightly
before returning to her somber expression as she headed to the
holodeck.

Chakotay waited inside, as he had since 2200. The holodeck
was in reverent silence, as if it knew something beyond the grasp
of circuitry and holo-images was about to happen here.

Everything was still: no birds sang, no wolves howled as
the sun rose slowly, dispite the late hour, in the panoramic
Arizona landscape. She had never seen Arizona in the 20th
century save in books and television, but she had the distinct
feeling that she knew it, had known it since before time began.

She turned, her mouth in an expectant line as she walked
tremulously toward a low mesa, afraid to break the deep spirit of
this place with even a footstep or a word.

It was hard to believe this was the same girl who had, less
than a year ago, nearly killed Seska, set up Janeway and
Chakotay, watched TV with her pillow crammed halfway down her
throat, as well as nearly knocking two men twice her age out with
her fists. But it was easy to believe that this was the same
girl that had delivered a stirring eulogy for her dead friend
only a month ago. It was then Chakotay decided on her spiritual
readiness to begin her preparation for this ceremony.

Chakotay turned as she approached the bluff, his acute
hearing detecting another presence there almost before the doors
slid open. He smiled paternally as he watched the small figure
loom larger as she came closer ever so slowly, with that elegant,
purposeful gait that she had inherited from Janeway almost as to
the hilt as her startlingly blue eyes. He remembered another
spiritual moment, less than a year ago, but it seemed so
incredibly distant now…

************************************************************

\”PLEASE, Commander!\” she had begged for a week after she
was made a permanent resident on Voyager. Chakotay had flatly
refused for the same duration. He didn\’t think she was old
enough, grounded enough yet to find her guide. Finally, seeing
she was persistent – – a trait that had tripled after the
accident – – he gave in.

He had brought her to this exact program, sat on this exact
bluff, and, to his great surprise and pride, she actually found
and communicated to her spirit guide – – for more than an hour.
When she had finally opened her eyes and found Chakotay, still in
stupor, she smiled and said, \”But Commander, I am part of you and
the Captain – – of course I\’m a spiritual adept. I couldn\’t help
it.\”

Janeway was thrilled when she found out, but she wasn\’t
exactly surprised, either. \”Chakotay… in a way you\’re her
godparent… her spiritual guardian… it\’s a high honor bestowed
on one who would love the child very much, but it is also a very
difficult responsibility. Of course with such an excellent
guardian of her soul she would be more grounded than you
expected.\” she had smiled.

And so from then on Chakotay had been very protective of
her, especially after he and Janeway had begun their relationship
a few months before – – she was a part of both of them, and he
cherished that link. It was almost as if she had a purpose here:
to help him right all the old wrongs against his father by
letting him guide her down the path he had ignored for so long.

He and Janeway were major forces in her life even before
she had acquired a part of them, long before they knew she
existed they were the people she looked up to, and now loved like
parents. She looked to them for guidance, which they readily
gave, looking after her and her interests passionately,
especially Chakotay.

************************************************************

He smiled as he thought of this, then sobered as he thought
of the depth he had discovered in her youthful mind. It wasn\’t
completely his or Janeway\’s – – she had a natural sobriety and
faith in forces beyond her control that amazed him.

Very few of his people would have gone through the ordeal
she had gone through in preparation for this sacred ceremony: it
was so physically draining that Janeway had insisted the young
cadet be relieved of duty until the end of the month. Instead of
accepting the psychoactive drugs that sped the mind-altering
process, she had chosen instead to fast for the past three days,
never leaving her quarters, never sleeping as she searched for
her center. Then she had left her quarters and come here. Now
it was in his hands. The sun was just beginning to stain the sky
with rose when she finally sat cross-legged before him.

He raised an eyebrow in question, and she nodded
immediately. She closed her eyes, not knowing why she did, but
she had heard her guide\’s voice instructing her since she had
begun her preparation three days ago. She had been fearful when
Chakotay had first suggested this, but the fear was gone now,
replaced by complete inner peace.

She dimly heard Chakotay\’s voice in the incessant silence
of her mind. \”We are far from the places of our ancestors, far
from the bones of our people. Great Spirits, accept this girl,
daughter of the ancients, and help her become one with that which
surrounds her. Teach her, guide her, bring her to a new
understanding, so that she may be the wise adult she is destined
to become.\”

There was deep silence for a long moment, then a gentle
voice, her guide\’s, said, \”Bless you, child of the ancients. Go
forth in peace and love, marked with the mark of those long dead,
the mark of your people.\”

The words echoed in her head as she felt the firm pressure
of Chakotay\’s hand on her chin, then the seemingly unbearable
stinging as he carefully traced his own tattoo onto her face.
And yet she did not wince, the reassuring intonations of her
guide better than anthestetic for the numbing pain.

The pressure ceased, the pain subsided somewhat, and she
opened her eyes cautiously. Chakotay beamed in pride at the girl
who now wore his tattoo. She blinked slowly, rising to her feet
still more slowly as the sun broke over the scene, filling the
holodeck with a beacon of light. He put his hands on her
shoulders, her guide\’s words he now intoned solemnly: \”Bless you,
child of the ancients. Go forth in peace and love, Emily Kathryn
Quetit Friedman, marked with the mark of those long dead, the
mark of your people.\”

Emily nodded gravely, not quite aware of her actions. She
looked up and smiled: softly, slowly, with a vibrant dazzle in
its familiar graciousness that was hers alone. \”Yes, Father.\”

-20-

Emily slept soundly for almost two days, undisturbed by
dreams as she replenished her exhausted body. Chakotay, however,
walked out of the holodeck, heading straight toward Janeway\’s
quarters, where she paced restlessly. She didn\’t want to
worry… she knew Emily was in his capable hands… but…

She turned quickly at the sound of the chime, her face very
pale as she looked at Chakotay anxiously.

Chakotay smiled reassuringly, nodding tiredly. \”She\’s
fine. She\’ll probably sleep for the next few days, but she\’ll
survive.\”

Janeway sighed happily. \”Good. She can sleep for a week
if she wants… I could never do that.\”

\”Neither could I… or could she… until we actually did
it. I went a week without food or water… but then again, I was
an adult out to torture myself at the time.\”

Janeway smiled wanly. \”Wasn\’t it painful?\”

\”My guide was there the whole time… you have no idea how
comforting that can be.\”

Janeway leaned on his arm, smiling up at him. \”Yes I do.\”
She saw the look on his face, which puzzled her. \”There\’s
something else… what?\”

Chakotay smiled. \”When I had finished, she looked up at me
and said, \’Yes, Father.\’ It was… uncanny.\”

Janeway smiled. \”In a way, she is our daughter…
biologically, she shares parts of our genetic patterns, but
emotionally she is linked to us even more strongly than blood.\”

Chakotay grinned wearily. \”It\’s amazing, isn\’t it? Having
someone trust you implicitly from the minute they meet you, just
because of a connection you have.\”

Janeway traced the amazement in his face with a finger.
\”It\’s not so amazing… I trusted you with my life from the
moment I met you. When I think if not for Tom I would have left
you to die before I even knew you…\” her voice trailed off, her
eyes shining with guilty tears. She rested her head on his
chest, the salt water seeping slowly into his uniform.

\”Shussh… you did what you had to do… I just wish…\”

\”What?\” asked Janeway, her eyes bright with the glaze of
tears and irrepressible curiosity.

\”That my life wasn\’t Tom\’s.\” grinned Chakotay.

Janeway smirked, her sense of humor returning as she
dropped a tender kiss on his lips. \”Chakotay, Tom doesn\’t own
your life… I do.\”

-21-

Emily\’s fifteenth birthday party was a week later. Thanks
to help from several crewmen, the garden had been transformed
into festive stage and auditorium, the flowers and lush
vegetation representing the magical Shakespearean forest the way
no holodeck program ever could.

Emily, strength and vitality fully regained, joined the
belated festivities with a happy heart, though the deeply
spiritual experience only seven days past left her a trifle
quieter, a trifle older and wiser. Janeway was elated at the
change, though seeing another with her little quirks and
Chakotay\’s thousand and one endearing mannerisms, as well as his
tattoo, was rather eerie at first.

She mingled with the revelers for awhile, then found the
other actors and herded them towards the makeshift \”dressing
rooms\” created by moving some of the bushier plants to the sides
to make two \”rooms\”.

They had decided to celebrate Emily\’s birthday with the
first performance of \”A Midsummer Night\’s Dream,\” which would be
repeated three times, once for each off-duty shift as they
orbited a small M-class planet Stellar Cartography had informed
her held the plant life they so desperately needed.

Janeway dressed quickly in her Titania costume: a silvery
robe and gown with matching slippers. A soft-stepped little
satyr in a gauzy dark blue dress holding a golden lyre, provided
by Tuvok, hopped over, wielding a wreath of small white flowers
and green foliage, bowing low as she presented it. \”My Queen.\”
she smiled.

Janeway plucked the wreath from Emily\’s grasp and smiled
softly. \”How lovely!\”

\”It has four-leaf clovers in it for luck.\” grinned Emily.

Janeway smiled, noticing a small slip of paper fall from
it. She smiled as she unfolded it. \”From Obereon.\”

Emily had snatched the wreath from Janeway\’s grasp,
gesturing to a nearby chair. She sat, and the little sprite set
the wreath to one side and grasped a brush, yanking pins right
and left, deaf to Janeway\’s cries. She softly brushed her hair
until the remaining pins were gone, then pulled it behind her
ears and set the crown on her head. \”Fin!\” she cried, very
pleased with her handiwork.

Janeway smiled, then caught a glimpse of B\’Elanna and
Harry, complete in Athenian garb, enjoying a private moment until
Tom, ass\’s head on, startled them. B\’Elanna would have beaten
him to a bloody pulp had Harry and Janeway not intervened. \”Wait
until the play is over, B\’Elanna. We only have one ass on
board.\”

\”As usual, my love speaketh naught but the truth.\” grinned
Chakotay, crossing his arms as he leaned in the \”doorway.\”

Janeway beamed at him. Even in as a Fairy King in
Shakespearean tunic and soft, loose pants, he had an air of
authority that commanded respect, unlike Tom, but nearly ran into
him in his ass\’s head.

Chakotay was admiring Janeway in much the same way just
then. Her hair was down, the shiny dress Emily had replicated
bringing startling clarity to her slim form\’s curves that even
the robe couldn\’t quite mask. The wreath was embedded in the
masses of her hair, nearly invisible to view. With the saucy
young woman standing beside her, it was entirely conceivable at
that moment that she could very well be Titania and a very
feminine young Puck.

He smiled at the little creature dressed in blue that stood
beside Janeway like a beloved daughter. Emily\’s eyes were very
large and blue in her flushed tan face, her eyebrows raised,
wrinkling the lines of her familiar tattoo into the hairline of
her chameleon curls. She grinned frankly as her eyes met his,
her eyes darting towards Janeway, then grinning still more,
bringing the dimples into view.

Chakotay smiled back. She must be very excited: he\’d never
seen her so bright. When Janeway turned to talk to Kes about
something or other, Emily leapt excitedly toward him. \”I think
Harry\’s going to…\”

\”What?\”

Emily grinned. \”What what?\”

Chakotay shook his head. \”Fine, if you\’re not going to
tell me…\”

\”Well, I don\’t know WHAT he\’s going to do… but it\’s
something BIG… I can feel it!\” she cried, clutching his arm
excitedly.

\”Calm down, Quetit. You aren\’t psychic.\”

Emily took a deep breath to calm herself, then looked up
with a trifle of his own twisted sense of humor. \”I\’m not a
little girl, Chakotay. And are you quite sure I\’m not psychic?\”

Before he could respond, Janeway\’s voice could be heard, an
impromptu director calling out to various people, a ball of
excited energy rushing around with dizzying speed. Chakotay
reached out an arm to pull her back.

She lurched back into his chest, then spun around, her eyes
roving his face as quickly as her foot tapped the floor
nervously. \”Yes?\” she said impatiently.

Chakotay shook his head as if scolding her. He grinned at
Emily, who hung beside them. \”So you get it from her, eh
Quetit?\”

Emily shrugged eloquently. \”Guess so, Chakotay.\”

A shout echoed through the dressing rooms, the actors and
actresses assembling behind a makeshift stage shrouded from the
public view.

The play was a smashing success. Emily, as usual, proved
Tom wrong in the assumption that Robin Goodfellow HAD to be a
boy… and had a blast doing so. The crowd cheered to see
Janeway head over heels for the \”asinine\” Tom, and cheered even
louder when \”Obereon\” released the spell on his lovely Queen and
said:

\”Sound, music! Come, my Queen, take hands with me,
And rock the ground whereon these sleepers be.\”

But by far the most exciting part of the play was a certain
scene between Lysander and Hermia, not in the Bard of Avon\’s
original work:

Titania and Obereon, happily reunited, had just made their
final exit, and Emily had just stepped forward to address the
audience with the last monologue, when \”Lysander\” rushed forward
and plucked Emily off the stage with superhuman strength. She
opened her mouth to protest this indignity, then she saw what he
carried in his hand, and flew to find B\’Elanna.

Before the assembled audience had time to begin to whisper
amongst themselves, Emily had found B\’Elanna and shoved her back
on-stage. Harry rushed in an instant later. B\’Elanna\’s eyes
were pure fire, and she glared down at Harry until she saw the
box he held in his hand. She took it up, whispering, \”Harry?\”

Harry smiled and nodded. \”With the Captain\’s
permission…\” he and the audience looked over to where Janeway
and Chakotay stood, slightly offstage. Janeway didn\’t need an
explanation: she merely nodded with a small smile on her lips and
bade him continue. He looked back to B\’Elanna, smiling, \”Will
you marry me, B\’Elanna?\”

B\’Elanna didn\’t need to be asked twice. She had an inkling
of what was going to happen – – she hadn\’t been with him for
nearly a year without knowing exactly what he was thinking – –
and promptly sank to her knees beside Harry and kissed him
happily.

Emily had a tear in her eyes, but her sense of humor was
intact. She stepped forward. The original monologue was a bit
inappropriate, but she smirked and said:

\”If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding than a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to scrape the serpent\’s tongue.
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call.
So good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.\”

She curtsied piquantly at the laughter and applause, then
went to Chakotay and Janeway, laughing, \”See? I told you I was
psychic!\” Then she and Janeway went over to the happily engaged
couple to hug them and congratulate them.

Paris, holding his donkey head under his arm, nudged
Chakotay in the ribs and said mock-sadly, \”Harry and B\’Elanna – –
whoda thought it – – I suppose you and the Captain will be next
to tie the knot, eh Chakotay?\”

Chakotay looked at Paris with an amused smile. \”Who said
we haven\’t already, Paris?\” he said, leaving Paris to scratch
his head and think very seriously on that little rejoiner…

-23-

Janeway joined Chakotay in the mess hall early the next
morning. She looked at him, the smile on her lips warming him as
it had for so long. She picked up her cup of coffee and inhaled
the soothing vapors contentedly. Then she set her mug down and
looked at Chakotay. \”B\’Elanna and Harry want us to officiate the
ceremony, of course.\”

\”Of course.\” nodded Chakotay, setting down the PADD he was
reading to study Janeway\’s reaction. She was utterly unreadable:
other than her heart-felt happiness for the two, she displayed no
emotion whatsoever. He leaned forward: the direct approach would
have to suffice. \”How do you feel about this?\”

Janeway looked genuinely puzzled. \”What do you mean?\”

\”The idea of crewmen pairing off… marrying… here, on
this ship, in the Delta Quadrant.\” he said, taking her hand.

Janeway blushed furiously, not knowing quite why. He was
asking her opinion on a totally innocuous subject – – or was it?
\”I\’m happy for them, Chakotay. They need each other… they\’re
in love.\”

Chakotay willed her to look up at him. \”Are YOU happy,
Kathryn?\”

Janeway swallowed hard, her voice trailing off
nevertheless. \”Of course…\”

Chakotay groaned inwardly in exasperation. She was doing
it again – – the rest of the crew could be happy and go on with
their lives, but the Captain couldn\’t. He took her other hand,
leaving her nowhere to hide. \”Do you love me?\”

\”Of course.\” She was very nervous now. He was building up
to something… something BIG. She couldn\’t swallow. They\’d
never had such a strained conversation before… it worried her.

Chakotay shook his head. \”I\’m beginning to wonder,
Kathryn.\”

Janeway was very worried now. \”Why?\”

Chakotay looked at her, then looked around at the empty
mess hall – – even Neelix wasn\’t here yet. The lights were not
turned on, the light from the kitchen spilling out dimly into the
rest of the silent room. \”I didn\’t mean it that way… but you
don\’t seem to really want to give up that last barrier between
us.\”

\”There\’s a protocol…\” began Janeway, but he cut her off,
his eyes blazing as his hopes and dreams fell pieces around his
ears.

\”The entire crew knows about this – – whatever this is now
– – and from day one they\’ve supported it – – hell, they set us
up!! Protocol is no longer an issue, Kathryn.\” He stood up.
\”You know where I am once you realize that.\”

Then he stalked out of the room, which had suddenly grown
very cold.

-24-

\”Nice move, brainiac.\”

Chakotay looked up from where he had been listlessly
perusing meaningless data on several hundred PADDs most of the
day, after a brief stint on the Bridge sitting beside an immobile
Kathryn Janeway. He looked up at the small figure glaring at him
with a look of total innocence. \”What, Quetit?\”

\”You know damn well what I mean.\” she continued, her mood
not improved by his invokation of her tribal name, meaning
\”little girl\”. \”Walking out on her like a wounded bear with a
sullen ultimatum this morning. Nice move – – if you\’re a Byronic
hero. Good lord, I thought I was finished with people like you
when I left the 20th century!!\”

\”What the hell does that mean?\”

\”You know Nathan – – that guy from four hundred years past
you nearly beat to a bloody pulp \’protecting\’ me – – he had the
same problem – – only in his case the girl was barely aware of
his existence!! I thought I\’d never meet someone as stubborn as
him again – – are you sure you guys aren\’t distantly related?\”
she said, flopping into a nearby chair.

\”Is that any way to talk to your \’father\’ young lady?\”

\”No – – but you deserve it. All our hard work and you go
and deliberately try to blow it to hell!\”

\”That god-forsaken planet?\” smirked Chakotay.

Emily was getting very impatient. She leaned over and
grabbed his hair and pulled – – hard. \”Listen up, Mr. Former –
Maquis – Hero, you are acting like an IDIOT!! YOU may not care
if you live alone for the rest of your life – – which, by the
way, is a CROCK – – but out there is a woman who gave up
everything to fall in love with you, and I sure as hell am not
going to give up until you guys are back together!! You two are
my parents, and I love you both dearly, but you are seriously
BONKERS if you think we\’re going to let a little misunderstanding
screw this thing up!!\”

She shoved him back, stalking out of the room angrily.
Chakotay rubbed his head where her fingernails had dug into his
scalp, wincing slightly. But her words were oh so true: They
were acting like children. He\’d go talk to her before Janeway
was attacked similarly.

Janeway had retreated to her Ready Room after a disastrous
half – shift on the Bridge, burying herself in work and other
thoughts – – anything other than him and that horrible early-
morning confrontation that left her doubting herself.

She was deep into the study of the ship\’s diagrams, trying
to figure out who to move so that B\’Elanna and Harry\’s quarters
could be connected shortly before the wedding… which led her
down the all-too-familiar road of memories that made her toss
that PADD aside and grabbing up another, this one explaining the
stretch of replicator rations by the entire senior staff to
furnish food and decorations for the… Janeway, giving up any
hope of forgetting this entire fiasco, stared listlessly at
another PADD, not even reading, let alone comprehending, its
contents.

She was so immersed in her own thoughts she didn\’t notice
the repeated calls at her door. Chakotay, standing outside of
her door, was very concerned when she didn\’t let him in after his
repeated paging: once he assumed she was angry at him, but after
the fifth time he keyed in the command override to her ready
room, thinking she was dead or worse. He stepped inside
tentatively, finding Janeway, hands on her forehead, hunched over
her desk. He thought she was asleep until he saw her shoulders
shaking slightly and heard a small sigh escape her lips.

He edged over, almost afraid to touch her. He knelt down
beside her chair, laying an arm across her shoulders
protectively. She dropped her hands from her forehead, turning
to meet his worried gaze. She\’d never seen him so anxious – –
then again, she\’d never been so worried herself. She smiled
wanly at him, touching her forehead to his. \”I\’m sorry.\” she
whispered. \”I didn\’t mean…\”

He put a finger to her lips, silencing her tenderly. He
smiled a little, his warm brown eyes meeting her perplexed blue
ones. \”I didn\’t mean to get angry, Kathryn. But even after the
entire crew puts all their effort into getting us together you
still cry \’protocol\’ and shy away anytime I try to get a little
bit closer.\”

Janeway sighed, her breath issuing over his face. \”I know,
I know… but even if the Admiral herself came here and ordered
me to fall for you I\’d still have a small part of me that would
take awhile to get used to this…\”

Chakotay stroked her hair reassuringly as she turned her
chair to face him. \”It\’s OK – – I\’m not going anywhere for the
next few decades.\”

\”Thank you for understanding, Chakotay\” she whispered.

\”It\’s all I can do, Kathryn, that and love you.\” he said,
brushing her face with one hand before he stood up and left.

-25-

The next few weeks few by in a whirl of preparation:
Neelix experimenting with the menu, Kes hovering close so that he
wouldn\’t \”pep\” it up, Tom and Emily occasionally pulling her away
to help with the decorations and thousand minute details, Janeway
and Chakotay working on the ceremony itself with great care and
detail. It was like no other marriage before: a joyous mix of
the beliefs and customs of all involved, each person adding a
little to the melting pot so as to make the first Voyager wedding
still more unique.

B\’Elanna, Kes, Neelix, Tom, and Emily had assembled in the
empty Mess Hall to watch B\’Elanna\’s fitting for her dress: a
gorgeous white creation by, surprisingly, Neelix and Kes. Neelix
had brought it to the Mess Hall in a large white box. Tom and
Emily had looked fearfully at each other, but their worries
vanished when B\’Elanna reappeared from the makeshift dressing
room the perfect picture of bridal beauty. Kes produced another
box, smaller and taller, pulling from it a delicate veil, then
proceeded to arrange it over B\’Elanna\’s dark hair.

She stepped forward as meekly as she ever had in her life,
looking around at her beaming friends with large brown eyes.
\”What do you think?\”

Tom stared, regretting every time he\’d tried to con Harry
out of going out with her as he looked at her in that dress: off
the shoulder with a mist of soft illusion and silky satin. If
Harry didn\’t love her before he would now… but that wasn\’t
necessary – – he loved her more than the disillusioned Paris ever
thought possible, more than anyone in the galaxy… except maybe
Chakotay. Now THERE was a born lover if ever there was one, he
thought: he loved Janeway with every atom of his being, and never
thought to hide it, from her or anyone else – – at least after
some well-executed prodding from him and Emily.

He grinned over at where Emily sat, hands clasped under her
chin in a very familiar attitude, her hair swept away from that
damned tattoo. He couldn\’t imagine her as anyone else\’s daughter
but Janeway and Chakotay\’s: THERE was unconditional love, from
the very beginning. Emily was at the tender age when she needed
her parent\’s guidance most and wanted it least, and the added
burden of suddenly losing her grounding and everything she knew
might have ruined her had they not jumped in willingly and given
her all the love and support they instinctively knew she needed.
She loved them completely, and worked her ass off to make them
proud of her. And they were. She was brilliant with computers,
strong and sweet and vibrant – – everything a completely
biological child of the two would be. And, of course, it didn\’t
hurt that she nearly killed Seska and saved their lives, either.
Then, Emily looked over, and smiled back. Damned if she didn\’t
smile exactly Janeway too – – her smile in HIS face – –

A soft sigh alerted the group to a new presence in the
room. Janeway walked in, beelining toward B\’Elanna with a soft
shine in her eyes. \”Oh B\’Elanna… you look lovely!\” she said,
clasping the young woman\’s hands maternally.

\”Thank you, Captain.\” smiled B\’Elanna, blushing faintly.

Janeway stood, the shine in her eyes unmistakable, thought
Tom. She wanted it to be HER – – Chakotay wanted it to be HER –
– Hell, everyone wanted it to be HER – – Tom shook his head.
This wedding had him in a sentimental mood – –

Janeway broke his speculation with another small sigh.
\”I\’m sorry I can\’t stay – – I just wanted to tell you we\’re
almost done with the ceremony – – I\’ll send it to you when we\’re
done so you can see if you two want to make any changes.\” She
hugged the half-Klingon and left the room.

-26-

Janeway returned to her quarters, the effects of little
sleep driving home as she slumped into a nearby chair. She
scanned a PADD listlessly. \”How are we ever going to finish this
in under a week?\” she groaned wearily, stretching and contacting
back into her position curled up in the chair. \”We\’ve already
spent most of our off-duty time trying to write this thing… AND
I told B\’Elanna she and Harry they would have a copy soon.\” she
continued to the still figure on the opposite sofa, her monolouge
frequently punctuated by yawns.

When silence permeated the room once more, the still figure
moved to look at her, tossing a PADD onto the table. \”Here.\” he
said simply, his voice thick with weariness.

\”What?\”

\”Here… as in \’Here, it\’s done.\’\” said Chakotay, flopping
back onto his back to lay very quietly as Janeway skimmed it.
\”Change whatever you don\’t like.\”

\”\’We gather here today to celebrate as a family the miracle
of love and its fulfillment through eternal union. Here, on this
ship, far from what we thought mattered most, we have slowly come
to acknowledge Voyager as our home, as well as each other as
family and friends, and finally, as these two and so many others
onboard represent, lovers. Today we join the first of hopefully
many souls together as one in the most sacred and beautiful of
bonds. This man, Harry Kim, and this woman, B\’Elanna Torres,
have chosen to enter this state by their own free will, and
anyone who thinks they should not go forth from this place as
husband and wife voice their opposition or remain forever silent.
Bless you two, now one by the grace of the Divine Spirit, and may
you continue in peace and love through each other\’s strength, now
and forever.\’\” read Janeway, her voice wavering slightly as she
progressed.

She looked up at the silent figure, who stared into space
as she read. \”Chakotay… this is beautiful.\”

Chakotay sat up, looking at her intently, as if trying to
read her soul. \”I wrote from my heart, Kathryn.\”

Janeway looked down at the PADD again, her eyes misting
slightly. But something rankled, causing her to stand up again.
Her tone was more certain now : \”Thank you… I should go give
this to Harry and B\’Elanna.\”

Chakotay looked at her for a second, contemplating whether
or not to get up and leave. The look in her eyes gave him no
indication of what he should say or do, so he got up and left,
only half-aware of her eyes following his retreat, still void of
expression.

-27-

But the happy wedding was not to happen the next day – –
the Chief Engineer and the Officer at Ops/Comm were too busy.
The evening before a small Kazon ship had been spotted, had fired
several shots before turning tail and disappearing as quickly as
it had come. The damage wasn\’t great – – it had barely nicked
Voyager\’s shields – – but Tuvok and Harry had reported a
Federation signature on the weaponry that wasn\’t encouraging.
Janeway, who had been awake and pacing the Bridge long before,
had called the senior staff at 0530 for an emergency meeting.

Chakotay had just fallen asleep after hours of tossing and
turning after displaying his heart oh-so prominently on his
sleeve to Kathryn when her voice echoed through his quarters,
reverberating through his skull, \”Janeway to all senior staff:
emergency meeting of the senior staff in 10 minutes.\”

He sprung from his bed, wondering what could make Kathryn\’s
voice so agitated, much less call an emergency meeting at 0540.
The vague thought she was as addled as he was over last night
crossed his mind, but it didn\’t fit with the Janeway he knew.

Dressed in his uniform and about to walk out of the room,
he glanced over at the picture that hung on the wall just before
the door. He smiled at the assembled group – – Kes had taken
another group picture at Lea\’s birthday – – sighing a little as
he glanced at the bucolic picture: the newly-engaged Harry and
B\’Elanna with their arms around each other, beaming at the
camera, Tom and the Doctor close to Kes, whom Neelix held a bit
tighter than usual as he eyed the two men warily, Tuvok eyeing
the whole spectacle with a wry smile. His eyes frowned as they
rested on the group clustered in the center: Emily, his \”Quetit\”,
grinning happily from the joined circle of Kathryn\’s and his
embrace. It was as if they were a happy little family,
surrounded by a supportive extended family filled with loving
brothers and sisters.

Of course, they\’d fought before – – the worst only a few
months before Emily had come here, they had been at odds for
weeks after their failed attempt at alliances with the Kazon,
then the Trabe. If it had been painful to be so angry at her
then, and it was slowly killing him to be angry with her now.
But, after a long time of bitter sidelong glances and
professional demeanor towards each other, they had tried and
succeeded in resuming their amiable, close command friendship.
And then it had become still closer through their bond with
Emily, and finally she had admitted she was in love with him.
And now another rift had formed in what seemed an instant,
threatening the warm, loving relationship to the core. He tried
to shake his pessimistic thoughts out of his head and headed
toward the lift.

-28-

The senior staff sat attentively in the conference room
five minutes after Janeway called them, but Janeway didn\’t enter
the room for another few minutes. Chakotay looked around. He
was the only one, except maybe Kes and Neelix, who hadn\’t been
working when Janeway had summoned them. They all knew what
Janeway had called them about – – except him. He tried to read
their faces: Harry\’s wasn\’t very hard, he was obviously worried –
– and it wasn\’t pre-wedding jitters, for the rest of the room
mirrored his concern, if not as blatantly obvious as the young
man\’s face.

His mind was just beginning to wander when the door slid
open with a small hiss of air, revealing Janeway. She was
clearly concerned as she stood before the assembled officers: it
was evident in the shadows under her eyes and the way her hands
gripped the top of her chair as she stood behind it.

She nodded towards Chakotay. \”For the Commander\’s benefit,
could we summarize the events of the past twelve hours?\”

No one could speak, so Tuvok, the only unaffected one,
cleared his throat and said, \”At approximately 0100 hours, a
small Kazon ship, the size of which was slightly larger than a
runabout, attacked Voyager with a bombardment of energy weapons
and photon torpedoes, the damage of which was minimal. Ensign Kim
noticed an ion trail leading off into space, which continues
beyond our long range sensors.\”

\”Anything new?\” asked Janeway.

Neelix interrupted, \”According to the coordinates Mr. Tuvok
has supplied me with, the ion trail leads into is a binary system
high in Kazon Nistrum activity. It\’s probably a trap, Captain.
I say we just avoid the entire system altogether.\”

\”What Mr. Neelix fails to mention is that he informed me
that there is an M-class planet near the opposite edge of the
system rich in plant life, as well as trace amounts of dilithium
in its crust.\” interjected Tuvok blandly.

\”Really?\” said Janeway dryly, eyeing the red Talaxian.

\”Well, ummm… well, Captain, I didn\’t…\”

\”Yes, Mr. Neelix, you did not. We haven\’t come across an
M-class planet that can support much edible plant life since that
small one we orbited on Emily\’s birthday.\” A joint sigh echoed
through the room at the mention of that happy, carefree day, then
silence reigned again and Janeway continued, \”If it\’s possible to
locate this planet without inciting the Kazon again, we will. Is
this planet populated by Kazon, Mr. Neelix?\”

\”Errr – – not to my knowledge. No Kazon actually LIVE
there – – the Rwari live on two other planets nearer to the other
sun in the system and trade with them for items they can\’t
pillage from other ships. The planet in question is uninhabited
– – the Rwari never saw the need to populate more than two
planets.\” fumbled Neelix.

Janeway nodded. \”Sounds good. Mr. Paris, set a course to
this planet. Tuvok, you divvy up the crew so we can get in there
and out of there as quickly as possible. I want the Kazon to
have as little time to hound us as possible if they do show up.
Dismissed.\”

Janeway didn\’t leave the room as the crew filed out,
instead sitting in her chair and staring at the stars, her face
clouded and troubled. Chakotay kept to his own seat at the right
hand and leaned over towards her, disregarding the spreading grin
on Tom Paris\’s face as he engaged the privacy lock before
leaving.

\”What\’s wrong? An M-class planet and a pithy attack isn\’t
enough for a meeting at 5 in the morning – – there\’s something
you\’re not telling me.\”

Janeway turned to him, worry faint on her face. \”It\’s true
we were attacked, and the damage wasn\’t very bad. But as we
began to repair the damage, Ensign Kim didn\’t just notice an ion
trail, though – – he noticed a Cardassian signature to the
weaponry used by the attackers.\”

\”Cardassian?\” The word was oh so simple, but the fury that
permeated the word was frightening. The normally calm, silent,
man was clenching and unclenching his hands in rage. \”Seska!\”
he growled.

\”Yes.\” Janeway herself had long since vented her own
anger, left with a vague sense of sadness and worry. She smiled
ironically as she remembered the last time she had seen her – –
she wished now Emily had been a better shot – – she laughed as
she remembered Seska\’s angry words:

************************************************************

\”Fool! He was only useful as a informant – – I have
everything I needed from him – – so I amused myself by playing
with his mind, and now I will kill both of you. Pity you will
never know the satisfaction of driving poor Chakotay to
distraction – – you would have been an adept – – except you
actually have FEELINGS for him!\” she scoffed.

\”What do you mean?\” said Janeway.

\”You know EXACTLY what I mean – – the glances, the absolute
devotion – – just lovely!\” she sneered.

\”Chakotay and I are just friends.\”

\”What an IDIOT!\” groaned Seska, slapping her head. \”You
don\’t mean to say that if you two both had no pasts, you would
have no emotion for him whatsoever… that if you were both just
foolish ensigns, you…\”

\”I\’ve had enough of your mind games, Seska! Either shoot
me or not – – you won\’t get the satisfaction of counting me as a
rival!\” she growled huskily.

\”My my, you HAVE got it bad!! Before you die, I just want
to give you a little piece of information. Chakotay…\”

************************************************************

She had often wondered what Seska would have told her had
Emily not chosen that moment to knock the Cardassian spy
unconscious. She shook the thought from her head, smiling
faintly. \”You know, the last thing she said to me before Emily
knocked her over was some barb about you and me.\”

Chakotay shook his head staring at the stars, then turned
to look at her again. She was worried about him – – jealous
perhaps? – – if nothing else, it was a good sign. \”I think she
was… jealous of you. You had everything she didn\’t: command
without having to get it through – – favors, a ship of your own
and people who respect you… I can\’t wait to see her face when
she finds out about us.\” he smiled wryly.

\”You expect she\’s the one behind this?\”

\”I\’d bet my life on it.\”

\”For your sake I hope we don\’t have to. Hopefully we won\’t
even get within sensor range.\”

\”Remember, Seska\’s got the edge here – – she could be
anywhere in this sector. We\’ll have to keep our guard up.\”

Janeway smiled softly, nodding. \”Agreed. Now let\’s head to
the Bridge before Tom gets any more ideas.\”

Chakotay grinned, businesslike – – for now. \”Aye,
Captain.\”

-29-

They reached the planet the next day. Strangely enough,
the Kazon ships in orbit around the two Rwari homeplanets paid no
attention to Voyager as she edged silently around them. Janeway
was not lulled into a false sense of security about this.
However, when Emily approached her for permission to accompany
one of the away teams, she didn\’t quite say nay.

Janeway sat in her Ready Room, mulling over a volumous
stack of PADDs when a beep jarred her concentration. \”Come.\”

\”You asked to see me Captain?\” grinned Chakotay.

\”I wanted to ask your opinion.\”

\”What about?\”

\”Emily wants to accompany an away team to the surface.\”

\”We\’ve established this as a highly volatile mission – – it
could be dangerous.\”

\”Yes, but the Kazon have ignored us so far – – who\’s to say
this mission is as dangerous as we thought? Besides, we\’ve seen
she can defend herself.\”

Chakotay rubbed his arm as he remembered a bruise long-ago
healed. \”Well, you\’re right. But send her with Neelix and Tom –
– their team won\’t be on the surface long.\”

\”Good idea.\” she nodded, slapping her comm badge. \”Janeway
to Friedman.\”

\”Yes?\”

\”In my ready room.\”

\”Yes, ma\’ – – Captain\”

The doors slid open and Emily\’s form came in to view a
split second later, panting and gasping. \”Yes, Captain?\”

\”Where were you?\”

\”Observing Lieutenant Paris at the Conn.\”

\”I see… I just wanted to inform you that Commander
Chakotay and I have decided to allow you to accompany an away
team to the surface.\”

\”Thank you, Captain!\”

\”You will be helping Neelix and Kes as well as their away
team collect samples. You leave at 0600 tomorrow morning.\”

At the mention of Neelix her face fell a little, but she
got over it quickly, nodding, \”Yes, Captain.\”

\”Dismissed.\”

Chakotay chuckled as the door slid closed again. \”Poor Lea
– – she can\’t stand him, you know.\”

\”We all have our burdens to bear, Commander.\” smiled
Janeway. \”You should be getting some sleep. You\’re away team
leaves at 0700 if I\’m not mistaken.\”

\”I wasn\’t planning on sleeping much tonight.\” grinned
Chakotay, but Janeway shook her head. Chakotay was heartened by
the fact that she didn\’t totally write off the suggestion in her
expression, just her words:

\”Bed. Now. Without me tonight. You need your rest.\”

\”Aye, Captain.\”

-30-

Emily slipped into the transporter room to find Neelix
pleading with an adamant Janeway. \”Please, Captain – – she\’s
just a child!\”

Janeway shook her head. \”She has to accompany your away
team – – I\’m sorry, MR. Neelix, but I promised. You leave in 5
minutes.\”

Emily slipped behind the console as Janeway strode out,
then whirled around and grabbed the little man\’s shirt front
angrily. She stared into his pale amber eyes angrily, then let
go, wiping her hands on the grey of her uniform. She crossed her
arms, and glared at him. \”You have no business calling me a
child, MR. Neelix,\” she growled, using the same inflection that
had echoed in his fur-growing ears a few seconds earlier.

Neelix told himself he shouldn\’t be frightened of a mere
girl, but the intensity that made itself known in the powerful
clenching and unclenching of her hands and the cold blue fire in
her eyes made his muscles go to water – – he knew she would never
use the strength she had inherited against anyone unless
necessary – – the pair she had received it from were also the
possessors of amazing self-discipline that prevented it – – but
nevertheless he was afraid of her.

Kes rushed to the seething girl\’s side, ever the
peacemaker, soothing, \”I\’m sure Neelix is sorry – – it\’s only
because he\’s your friend.\”

\”Whatever.\” snorted Emily, shaking off Kes\’s friendly arm.
The attitude vanished as the last of the away team entered,
accompanied by Commander Chakotay.

\”Are you ready to leave, Mr. Neelix?\”

\”Yes SIR!\” he said, a wary glance at Emily, \”At least I
am.\”

Chakotay leaned over to Kes. \”Something I should know
about?\”

\”It\’s a long story – – I\’ll tell it after we get back.\”

\”Take care of her, will you, Kes?\”

Kes smiled as she eyed the paternal worry written on the
man\’s face, nodding. \”Of course, Commander. Don\’t worry.\”

The away team stepped onto the platform, Emily giving
Chakotay the thumbs up as she disappeared from his sight, reduced
to a thin thread of plasma, remembering the transport that robbed
her of her self and replaced it with part of him and Janeway.

Emily\’s smile faded as she rematerialized on the surface,
eyeing the bucolic surroundings as well as her prosaic task ahead
of her for the duration of this mission – – the one she\’d begged
to be included on, no less! She groaned inwardly as Kes quietly
handed her a tricorder and a device for collecting samples while
Neelix blustered around, saying a lot, but without much content
to his aggravating bravado.

Emily got as far away from the incessant stream of
gibberish as possible, until she lost sight of the away team,
lost in the undergrowth as she dug into the flora and fauna
surrounding her, oblivious to all else.

She worked for a good hour and a half filling her samples
with the strange life that abounded on this planet, uninterrupted
by Neelix or Kes or any of the rest of they away team. She was
oblivious to all else – – except the phaser that was suddenly
something against her back. She turned around, mumbling
something along the lines of \”YES, Mr. Neelix?\” then paled as
she saw the smirking face that held a hypo in her hand. The
woman\’s face turned greyer as she recognized her, growling,
\”You\’re the little whelp who tried to kill me!\”

Emily shook her head to regain some sort of clarity as she
stood up and looked at the twisted, scaly visage that repulsed
her every biological and psychological function. She was scared
to death – – she had seen \”Maneuvers\”, she knew what this woman
could do if she wanted to – – but she tried desperately to remain
cool, breathing deeply to find her center.

She looked up again, brushing her hair back from where it
had covered her forehead, and Seska gasped in shock. \”Chakotay!\”
she hissed.

Emily realized the Cardassian\’s weakness immediately,
nodding and smirking. \”Yes, this is Chakotay\’s tattoo, Seska – –
he\’s my father.\”

\”That\’s impossible!\”

\”I suppose so – – but wouldn\’t you agree that a DNA donor
is technically a child\’s father?\” smirked Emily ruthlessly.

Seska\’s eyes glared in hatred, but she recovered quickly,
snapping with a wave of her hand, \”It makes your imminent demise
all the more profitable, Miss. You see, I am about to inject you
with a virulent toxin that has no known cure – – except mine.
You will then beam back to Voyager – – informing them before you
slip into unconsciousness that I am demanding your transporter
technology for my cure.\”

\”Not if you can\’t catch me!\” growled Emily fiercely,
springing into a tree, then swinging back and kicking the
astonished Cardassian in the chest.

\”My, you MUST be Chakotay\’s daughter.\” said Seska
sarcastically as she jumped up quickly, leaving Emily no time to
slap her comm badge. Whatever was in that hypo, she didn\’t want
it anywhere near HER.

Emily\’s eyes glowed as she leapt into another tree, and
scrambled higher. \”Thank you – – though I like to think I take
after my mother somewhat too – – don\’t you think I act a bit like
Captain Janeway, too?\”

\”Whaaa…t?\”

\”Yup – – my, news doesn\’t get around very fast here in the
Delta Quadrant – – Didn\’t you know? B\’Elanna and Harry are
getting married, and Chakotay and Captain Janeway are an item – –
due in no small part to me and Tom Paris.\” grinned Emily
ruthlessly, taking advantage of Seska\’s shock and kicking the
vial out of her outstretched hand, grabbing it in her hand as she
slipped down dexterously. \”All those hours of physical training
with Tuvok really paid off,\” she smirked.

Seska stood up, her face contorted in fury. \”Enough! I\’ll
deal with you with or without that virus, you little…!!\”

Emily edged from the snarling woman, who was backing her
into a tree. \”Now Now, no need for such language, Madame
Seska…\” but her voice wavered slightly.

\”Begone, Lizard Woman!\” a small voice said, the owner of
the voice obscured by Seska\’s form. Seska immediately tightened,
but she dropped her hands and rushed from the glade into a nearby
shuttle, revealing … a girl, less than 12 years old. But the
girl was unlike any humanoid she\’d ever seen. Her face and feet
were decidedly feline, with large, pointed ears and large green
eyes. A small lock of hair was in a braid down her back, and she
gripped a phaser with decidedly human hands and limbs, although
they were covered with soft grey fur. She wore a long belted
tunic of a very modern make, but they were threadbare, with
several patches and small rents. It was easy to discern from the
way she flattened her ears, lashed her long tail, and her pupils
had narrowed into thin black slits that she wasn\’t very happy
just then.

\”Who are you?\” she asked, pocketing her phaser.

\”I was about to ask you the same thing. My name is Cadet
Emily Kathryn Quetit Friedman. I am a cadet aboard the starship
Voyager.\”

\”I am Sibyyl Ol\’via. I am one of the Protectors of the
Felisian colony here – – this is my section to patrol.\”

Though she was very feline in appearance, Emily could tell
she wasn\’t much older than her. \”But you\’re so – – young!\”

\”On the contrary, I am one of the older ones.\”

\”How old is your – – oldest?\”

\”When we were brought here, Ahnna A\’hndreeah was fourteen
rotations old.\”

\”Rotations – – is that like a year?\”

\”A rotation is approximately 13 changes of the moon.\”

\”I see… I must report back to my ship now, but I will
return, Protector Ol\’via.\”

\”Mother speed, friend Emily.\”

Emily looked at her, wondering if the translator was
working right, then tapped her comm badge, calling, \”Friedman to
Voyager.\”

Chakotay looked at Janeway only briefly before slapping his
own comm badge in reply. \”What is it, Cadet?\”

\”Request for an early beam out – – I just encountered an
alien who saved my life, and I think you might want to know the
particulars.\”

\”Of course, Cadet.\” nodded Janeway, turning to Harry. \”You
heard her. Beam her out immediately.\” She tapped her comm
badge. \”Janeway to senior staff. Emergency meeting in the
briefing room.\”

-31-

Emily was in the Briefing room before an expectant group of
officers a heartbeat later, breathing hard.

\”Yes?\” said Janeway expectantly.

Emily took a deep breath. \”While I was collecting samples
for MR. Neelix,\” Emily practically spat out the word \”Mr.\”, then
continued on saying, \”I was attacked by Seska.\”

Chakotay stood up from his seat. \”Seska! Are you sure?\”

\”How many Cardassians that can recognize your tattoo and my
face on the spot do you know in the Delta Quadrant, Commander?\”
said Emily sarcastically. \”Anyway, she was wielding what she
claimed to be a hypo full of her own patented lethal toxin, but I
managed to knock it out of her hands and retrieve it,\” She
produced the little silver bottle and placed it in Chakotay\’s
hand, then elaborated, \”But she had me in a corner and was about
to do me in when this little feline girl wielding a phaser comes
in and scares her off. I get in a conversation with the girl,
who\’s name is Sibyyl Ol\’via, and she tells me that she is a
Protector in a civilization in which the oldest member is 14 – –
and presumably looks it.\”

\”What…?\” gasped Janeway, looking at Chakotay and Emily
alternately.

\”Feline?\” queried Tuvok calmly.

\”Yes, Lieutenant – – they are decidedly cat-like. But the
real issue is that we\’re dealing with a race of Lost Boys,
Captain!\” said Emily.

\”But these \”Lost Boys\” presumably have Warp technology – –
or at least phasers.\” interjected Chakotay.

\”So how does the Prime Directive apply here?\” asked Paris.

\”Well, they\’ve already seen us, Captain.\” added Emily,
seating herself on a small stool placed at the huge table for
her. \”I suggest we send someone to talk to them – – they might
be able to help us collect the dilithium.\”

\”Mr. Neelix, do you know anything about these people?\”
asked Janeway.

\”Err – – no, Captain. No one even knew these people
existed here – – they must have come here fairly recently. As I
said, as far as anyone knew, this was an unpopulated planet.\”

\”All right then. Cadet, you\’re the youngest crewmember on
board, you\’ll relate better to them than any of the rest of us.
We\’ll keep you on emergency beam-out status the entire time.
Your job will be to begin to discuss the possibility of getting
some of their dilithium.\”

\”Yes, Captain.\”

\”You leave in one hour. Dismissed.\”

-32-

\”Nervous?\”

Emily looked up from the PADD she was reading aimlessly and
wrinkled her nose at the smirking blonde man holding a cup of
tomato soup in one hand, the other hand on his hip. \”No, I
always enjoy soothing my thrashing internal organs with
caffeine.\”

\”Hey, what\’s with the attitude, Chaquita?\” grinned Paris.

\”I thought I told you not to call me that, Paris.\”

\”Hey, stick with what works, \’Kita.\”

\”Whatever – – any tips on this little diplomatic
excursion?\”

\”Nope – – never was good at that stuff – – ask Captain
Janeway, she\’s a real pro.\”

\”Already did – – and Chakotay, too.\”

\”Chakotay? – – he\’s not my first choice for a diplomatic
mentor, \’Kita.\”

\”Hey – – don\’t diss my dad, Paris.\”

\”Who, me?\”

Emily shook her head. \”Well, I\’d better get to the
transporter room… wish me luck.\”

\”You\’re Janeway\’s daughter, \’Kita – – you don\’t need it.\”

Janeway met the girl in the corridor outside of the Mess
Hall. \”Nervous?\”

Emily smiled devilishly. \”Now why would I bother with such
an illogical emotion like that, Captain?\”

\”Sometimes I think all that training with Tuvok has worked
TOO well.\”

\”TOO well, Captain?\” said Emily sardonically.

\”B\’Elanna was right – – you do have Chakotay\’s twisted
sense of humor.\”

\”Which makes me all the more lovable.\” grinned Emily,
nudging Janeway.

The doors swooshed open as Janeway covered her mouth with
one hand, a smile very evident underneath the disguising fingers.
The officer at the console stiffened still more, and Chakotay
walked over to the two with a worried smile. Emily hugged
Janeway and Chakotay, who whispered, \”Remember, there\’s an
emergency beam-out on you the entire time, Lea.\”

\”Chill, Chakotay, I\’ll be FINE.\” smiled Emily, stepping on
the platform.

Chakotay hugged the girl one more time, brushing a stray
wisp of hair from over her tattoo, smiling paternally. \”Just be
careful.\”

\”Yes sir.\” she smiled, flashing a peace sign as she
disappeared in a stream of blue plasma.

-34-

Emily rematerialized outside of a thicket of trees. She
turned around, and found Sibyyl standing in front of her. \”You
returned.\” she said.

\”Yes… may I speak to your leader?\” she said, eyeing the
phaser slung recklessly from her hip.

\”Do you carry a weapon?\” she asked suspiciously, eyeing her
tricorder.

\”No – – this is a scientific device.\” she said.

\”Very well – – you have shown no aggression towards us, so
you may speak to Ahnna.\”

\”Lead on.\”

Sibyyl led her through a maze of buildings constructed of a
sort of bricks, only smaller and lighter, constructed so that the
small children, which clustered around with wide eyes fixed on
her, that built them could lift them into place easily. The
doors were large and very strong-looking, and the windows were
high and small. Emily wondered why, but before she could ask,
Sibyyl gestured wildly, then pointed toward a tall tree and began
to climb. Emily looked up at the tree and the agile girl that
was quickly scrambling up it. A fleeting look of anxiety crossed
her face, but she crossed herself quickly and followed the girl
up.

When they reached the top, Emily looked around in surprise.
In addition to the small village nestled in the thicket far
below, they had built several fortresses amongst the tops of the
trees. The huge paw prints, not from any of the village\’s
inhabitants, that made all this necessary were much more visible
from above, as well as the small faces rapidly appearing from out
of nowhere. The tree they had climbed led up to the largest of
these lofty structures, from which emerged a girl of medium
build. Her eyes were very blue, surrounded by an amber pelt, and
she wore a shirt and pants of the same threadbare make as Sibyyl.
A phaser hung from her own belt, and her long tuft of hair was
tied back with a small string. Her boots were obviously old, and
a size too large for her feet.

\”Ahnna, this is Emily Friedman of the starship Voyager.\”
said Sibyyl.

\”You have a starship?\” said Ahnna bluntly.

\”I don\’t – – but my people do.\”

\”We had a starship once – – that was how we got here.\”

\”I\’d like to hear how you got here, Ahnna.\”

\”Come.\”

With that Ahnna grasped a rope that hung off a branch,
sliding down it swiftly. Sibyyl did the same, and Emily,
crossing herself yet again, took the rope in her own hands. It
wasn\’t rough – – it was uncommonly smooth, in fact – – and she
slid down easily, alighting with a small bounce. Then the two
girls led her through their village, running swiftly until they
reached an open expanse of meadow. There Emily saw an
astonishing sight: a starship, the size of two large runabouts,
mangled in the tall grass. It had been there for a while: weeds
had begun to overgrow it.

\”Is this how you got here?\”

\”Yes – – we were on that starship, a group of orphans being
taken to new homes on Tyden Prime, when our starship crashed, for
some reason we do not know, and landed here. The only two adults
died in the crash, and I have tried to look after the rest of us
since that time.\”

\”And when was that?\”

\”Several rotations ago – – I am now sixteen rotations.\”

Emily gasped, wondering how SHE could lead so many people
so much younger than her for two years, then remembered Janeway\’s
directive. She turned to Ahnna and asked, \”There is a large
deposit of dilithium near here. I have come to ask your
permission to bring people here to excavate it. We promise not
to bother you.\”

A small girl, who Emily had not noticed until that moment,
lifted her head and asked hopefully, \”Are there adults on your
ship?\”

Emily smiled. \”Yes – – in fact, I am the only child aboard
that ship.\”

\”Can they come HERE, Ahnna?\” piped up a little boy with
wide brown eyes and soft gold fur.

Ahnna looked up. \”I would like to meet your people,
Emily.\”

\”I\’m sure they\’d love to meet you. But I must go now and
talk to them. I will return.\”

\”Farewell, Emily.\”

Emily smiled, tapping her comm badge. \”Friedman to
Voyager. One to beam up.\”

The small group of children were amazed at how the funny-
looking girl with no fur disappeared in a shimmer of blue.

-35-

Emily reappeared in the transporter room back on Voyager to
the same sight that she had left it in: Janeway and Chakotay
standing before the platform, the same officer at the console,
the same worried expression on Chakotay\’s face mirrored ever so
slightly in Janeway\’s as she reappeared intact.

\”A smashing success, Captain. They agreed to begin
excavation as soon as you\’re ready, and they even want to meet
you.\” she grinned, eyeing the relief on their faces and the color
gradually coming back into Chakotay\’s face.

\”I\’m very pleased, Cadet. Good work.\” smiled Janeway.

Emily hopped down from the platform with a very un-
Starfleet bounce and began to follow Janeway and Chakotay out of
the room, hands behind her back. As the doors swished open
before them, she added, \”They colonized this portion of the
planet when their starship crashed here. According to their
leader, they\’ve been here for about two years. They were orphans
being taken to new homes when their starship crashed. They led
me to the wreckage – – I think that\’s where they got their
weapons, as well as their clothes. It\’s amazing they\’ve
developed the way they have – – they have fortresses and shelters
– – it\’s astounding.\”

\”You make a very good case, Cadet.\” smiled Janeway. \”It
would be interesting to speak with the leader behind all of
this.\”

\”From what I could tell, they\’ve made a good life for
themselves without adults – – like a real life \”Lord of the
Flies\” or \”Peter Pan\” – – but I saw evidence that they have to
fight for it.\”

\”What do you mean?\”

\”I saw huge prints in the ground, and the shelters they\’ve
built are literally strongholds, with tiny windows and thick
doors. Something BIG lives on that planet, Captain, and I want
to find out what it is.\”

Janeway smiled at the small, serious face that looked up at
her with that uncanny twist of her lower lip. \”It seems you\’re
very eager to help these children, Emily.\”

\”Yes, Captain.\”

\”And so you shall – – as soon as we begin excavation, I\’d
like to go down and meet this girl- – and you will come with me.\”

\”Really?\”

\”Of course.\”

\”Thank you, Captain.\” It wasn\’t much, and wasn\’t
accompanied by an exuberant smile or a peal of happy laughter,
but the evident, if subtle, gratitude was much sweeter than any
zealous platitude she might have spouted a few months ago.
Janeway nodded softly, and Emily disappeared quietly into the ebb
and flow of the ship.

Janeway smiled long after the girl disappeared. She looked
to Chakotay, who had a similar expression on his own features.
He really did take a fatherly interest in her continual growth
and maturation under their care, the first to praise her and yet
the first to nip her small imperfections in the bud. Although
she strove to achieve perfection in both her guardians\’ eyes, it
was Chakotay who was the first to hear of her small complaints
and victories, the one who always had a sympathetic ear out, the
one who, as Emily had once said, \”had her back\” – – whatever THAT
meant.

In the beginning, it seemed illogical for the loud, brash
young girl to choose the very man who was her exact opposite for
her mentor, but after the months crept by, she grew out of her
Parisian manner and became very much like Chakotay in her calm,
collected demeanor – – in fact, it was a standard joke among the
Bridge crew, mainly one Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris, to use a
smaller, feminine version of the Commander\’s name when referring
or speaking to the young Cadet: \”Chaquita\” or just \”Kita.\” It
infuriated and flattered the two alternately, depending on who
was saying it – – Chakotay had come very close to decking Paris
when he had first mentioned it, but stopped himself before he
made the inevitable contact with the younger man\’s nose. But
after that, Tom had had the distinct feeling the father and
daughter were secretly laughing at him, which, in his perverse
way, made his use of the nickname all the more frequent.

But even miniature shamans need fleshing out, or they
become flat and uninteresting. As often as she could be found in
the holodecks or in the first officer\’s office after her daily
lessons, the young Cadet could be located in the captain\’s ready
room or on the Bridge watching the movements of a smoothly-
running starship first hand. There she also absorbed and
observed the traits that made Janeway a good captain: courage,
determinism, open-mindedness, and a sense of adventure, all of
which flowed through her veins and only multiplied when she was
around those with them. Her eyes always glowed a bit brighter
and she walked a little more purposefully after those stints,
which pleased Janeway immensely.

She sighed a little as they walked, causing Chakotay to
turn out of his own reverie. He arched an eyebrow in question
and Janeway smiled. \”I was just thinking about Emily.\”

\”Great minds, eh Captain?\” grinned Chakotay. \”I was just
thinking about her too. You must really think she\’s got a good
head on her shoulders to have her accompany you to meet this
girl.\”

\”She has a good teacher.\” smiled Janeway.

\”She has good genes.\” smirked Chakotay, returning the
compliment. \”Did you know she was in the room when Neelix was
begging you not to let her go? According to Kes, she pounced on
him and scared the hell out of him after you left, but she didn\’t
lay a hand on him.\”

\”Oh gods…\” sighed Janeway, shaking her head in mock-
resignation. \”At least she didn\’t kill the poor little man.\”

\”I think Neelix had more damage done to his ego than
anything else.\”

Janeway looked up to the impenetrable grey ceiling, rolling
her eyes. \”I\’m on a ship full of swelled male heads for seventy-
five years: Paris, Neelix, you…\”

\”Me?\”

Janeway only keyed in the lock to her quarters, a huge
smile on her face as the door slid closed.

-36-

Janeway and Emily left the next morning before Chakotay\’s
shift began. He hadn\’t even gotten up yet, and when he did, he
was more than a little confused, but there was work to be done.
The first away teams were sent down to the surface, and Chakotay
accompanied them, burying himself in the task of helping B\’Elanna
and her teams collect suitable dilithium. After a few hours, he
left the work in Torres\’s able hands and went down a trail to
where Neelix and Kes had resumed their collection of various
fruits and edible plant life with the help of a group of the
native adolescents.

After surveying their progress, nodding calmly as the
zealous Talaxian blustered about in his usual bravado, then
turning to Kes after he had moved on to get the hard facts, which
were very favorable as well. He looked around at the bucolic
scene: uniformed crewmen working side by side with bright
Felisian youths as if plucked from a 24th century version of some
pastoral poem. He smiled to himself, walking among the trees
laden with life, some growing on the branches and others merely
dangling from them. The trees gave way to low shrubs, then a
large expanse of grassland where, in the distance, the outline of
the hull of a starship could be seen. He remembered that this
was probably the ship that the Felisians had come here in, and
ventured closer.

He was not surprised at the stillness that surrounded the
area, nor by the fact that the plant-covered ship looked more
like a small hill than a starship. In fact, he wasn\’t much
surprised by anything until he saw the bright gleam of gold at
the top of the ship. Anything bright would have been tarnished
long ago, so it probably wasn\’t a piece off the original remains.
He walked closer, his footstep almost silent in the hushed
atmosphere of the meadow. Finding footholds in the sides of the
wreckage, he climbed slowly to the top, about 15 or 20 meters off
the ground.

Then he smiled, shaking his head. The brightness was
Emily\’s hair, the bright sunshine transforming the dark waves
into gold as her \”mother\” \’s did so well. In fact, she looked
very much like Kathryn as she slept on the top of the rubble,
even as she looked like him when awake. She lay with her head in
the crooks of her arms, which were curled around a warm, smooth
dome protrusion in the top of the structure, her knees curled
close to the dome. She hadn\’t snuck off in the middle of her
shift – – she was in civilian jeans and a light sweater – – and
after the excitement of the past few days, he didn\’t blame her
one bit for sneaking off by herself.

He chuckled a little, preparing to climb down and leave the
poor little girl to her respite, but her head lifted slowly, her
blue eyes blinking open, still slightly unfocused as she pulled
her legs under her, staring blankly ahead for a few moments.
After a few more minutes, the pieces fell together and she
nodded, \”She\’s over there,\” gesturing to a broad expanse of field
that lay further beyond where they sat.

\”Who?\”

\”The Captain – – she\’s down with Ahnna and a few of the
young Felisians in the field. I figured you were looking for
her.\” she said frankly.

Chakotay stared out at the beauty of the wilderness that
surrounded them. \”I don\’t think she wants to see me.\”

\”Excuse me – – who are you and what have you done with
Commander Chakotay?\” said Emily, nudging him in the arm a little.
\”Or have I been asleep longer than an hour and you\’ve gotten
married AND divorced and now hate each other\’s guts instead of
loving each other insanely?\”

\”You left without even saying good-bye this morning.\”

\”Is that all?\” asked Emily. \”I\’m sorry – – that was my
fault. I dragged the Captain down there – – she wanted to wait
to say good-bye, but you know me. I can be pretty persuasive
when I want to be – – I get it from you.\”

Chakotay smiled, rumpling her already mussed hair
affectionately, then sobering. \”It\’s not JUST that – – it\’s – -\”

Emily nodded. Some things with some people just don\’t need
words. She turned and pointed at a figure, incalculably small
from their vantage point, with hair that glowed gold in the
sunshine and was clothed in some soft fabric that flowed around
her, combining with the rippling grass to lend an ethereal grace
to her beauty. The small children had left her side, and she
walked alone, but the tilt of her head and the directness of her
movement suggested this was not a permanent state. Emily smiled,
pointing to her. \”To steal a line from Tom Paris, \’If you ever
doubt yourself, look into her eyes. You\’ll never doubt yourself
again\’.\” She smiled again before slipping noiselessly down the
side of the ship and then disappearing, Puck-like, in a familiar
shimmer of blue.

Chakotay also descended from the perch, but on the opposite
side, walking towards where he had seen Janeway from his lofty
perch a few moments before. She saw him quite suddenly, her eyes
opening very wide when she saw him. She quickened her pace a
little, meeting him in a few minute\’s time. He smiled in
greeting, and she returned his smile. \”I was… looking for
you.\” she said. \”Emily didn\’t give me a chance to find you this
morning.\”

Chakotay grinned. \”I know – – I understand.\” More than
anything, he wanted to touch her hair, apologize for his own
behavior as of late, but instinct told him it was still a sore
subject, so he said, \”I checked up on Neelix and B\’Elanna\’s
teams. They\’re making wonderful progress, thanks to the help of
the Felisians.\”

Janeway nodded. \”Ahnna is a very mature young woman – –
she runs this colony very well.\”

\”Did you have a interesting conversation with her?\”

\”Very. She\’s very literate, considering all she\’s been
through. They\’re very content here – – they have everything they
need.\”

\”Amazing. They\’ve bee helping our away teams gather
supplies, too. We should be ready to bring the last of the away
teams up in a few days – – the reserves we\’ve gotten will last at
least a year, with plenty to use for the wedding.\”

\”Poor Harry and B\’Elanna. We had to postpone the wedding
until at least next week for this. It\’s good to know they won\’t
have to wait much longer.\” said Janeway, gazing in the direction
of the horizon, as the distant sun set even as the closer sun
beat down from above. \”I really should be getting back.\” she
murmured.

Chakotay reached for her hand, but at the passive look on
her face he stopped short. \”I should, too. There\’s quite a few
reports I should have written hours ago.\”

Janeway smiled a little. \”Don\’t worry. I understand – –
it\’s a beautiful place. It\’s easy to lose track of time here.
Take all the time you need.\” She turned to step a little closer,
but Tuvok chose that oppertune time to page her.

\”Tuvok to Janeway. Are you ready to beam back aboard?\”

\”Yes, Tuvok.\” sighed Janeway, and she dematerialized before
she even had a chance to press her fingers to her lips in
agitation.

Chakotay sighed and beamed out a few minutes later, after
watching one sun set slowly on the horizon and thinking about too
many things to be healthy.

-37-

Janeway tossed on her side, eyeing the empty pillow next to
her. Instinctively, she grabbed it up and buried her face in it,
remembering the long day as she inhaled the unique smell that
still permeated it. She had wanted to apologize for – –
everything – – but Chakotay seemed to have changed his mind. And
herself? She loved him – – of course she did, more than she had
thought possible. She used to think he loved her the same way –
– but after that horrible confrontation at breakfast what seemed
an eternity ago, she was horribly afraid he had given up on her.
She shuddered as her mind recoiled from that grotesque thought,
clutching the pillow still tighter, but the horrible visions
still permeated her dreams and nightmares.

Chakotay didn\’t sleep much better. His guide refuse to
comfort him in his gloom, instead scolding him for a thousand
things he could have done differently, until he realized it
wasn\’t his guide\’s voice – – it was his own. He tossed onto his
back, remembering Lea\’s words, \”Listen up, Mr. Former – Maquis –
Hero, you are acting like an IDIOT!! YOU may not care if you
live alone for the rest of your life – – which, by the way, is a
CROCK – – but out there is a woman who gave up everything to fall
in love with you, and I sure as hell am not going to give up
until you guys are back together!! You two are my parents, and I
love you both dearly, but you are seriously BONKERS if you think
we\’re going to let a little misunderstanding screw this thing
up!!\”

He told himself it wasn\’t his fault – – she had turned away
from him – – but he could see Emily rolling her eyes in his mind.
\”Takes two to tango, Chakotay.\”

Chakotay stared up at the ceiling for a long time, until
exhaustion overcame him and he fell into a fitful sleep.

-38-

A week later, Voyager, fully restocked, pulled the last few
away teams off the surface, and fell to the task of celebrating
the first Voyager wedding in full grandeur as they orbited the
Felisian planet. Every tradition that was humanoidly possible
was included, from traditional Ocampa presents of flowers and
sacred stones (provided by Kes and Chakotay respectively), and
multiple parties before the event: a huge day-long celebration
that everyone attended, including most of the adolescent
Felisians, a small rehearsal dinner for the wedding party, as
well as a bachelor and bachelorette party for the groom and
bride, the former hosted by Tom and the latter by Kes. To her
great annoyance, Kes did not allow Emily to attend the last one,
so she sulked until Chakotay promised to leave Harry\’s party
early (VERY early, Janeway had said, according to the Voyager
voyeurs) and B\’Elanna promised to tell her everything, much to
Janeway\’s chagrin.

The merrymaking had made the week go by very fast, and
almost as soon as it had begun, it was ending and the wedding was
at hand. Dispite the delays, postponements and the week of
preparation, the wedding still felt, like most weddings do, like
a huge last-minute rush of food preparation, timing, and a
thousand and one details that threatened to overwhelm the hapless
senior staff. But nevertheless, as most weddings do, it went off
without a hitch.

It was as the first wedding aboard Voyager should have
been: The entire crew, along with Ahnna and a few other
Felisians, was in some way shape or form present: the entire
senior staff was in the hydroponics garden were the ceremony was
to take place, along with most everyone that was off duty at the
time. The Beta shift was severely understaffed, as crewmen snuck
in to participate in the happy event. The rest of the crewmen
watched from various viewscreens at their stations.

The rites were simple in and of themselves: by B\’Elanna\’s
own request, there were few references to the rather violent
Klingon mating ritual made, and for the most part the ceremony
was Terran in content. Emily, dressed in a soft blue dress, led
a small chain consisting of herself, Kes, and a young Maquis
named Felicity whom B\’Elanna had befriended years ago, along with
Paris, Neelix, and the Doctor, for whom the bride and groom had
especially prepared a portable holographic projector so he could
attend. Emily sat on a tall flower-wreathed stool, pulling a
large guitar from behind the stool as the other five lined up on
either side of a small platform, where Janeway and Chakotay stood
in dress uniform, looking straight ahead down the aisle, flanked
by rows of smiling people. Harry stood just in front of them,
looking down the aisle with evident impatience, fidgeting so
violently that his best man, one Thomas Eugene Paris, had to lean
over more than once to silence him.

The beginnings of a soft, foreign melody being plucked out
fluidly on a golden-bodied guitar quelled his agitation, along
with the sight of the beautiful young woman in a mist of white
walking towards him. Paris grinned at him, then at Kes, then
Emily, who was too lost in the music and the atmosphere she was
engulfed in to see his smile soften, then return to his serious
expression as B\’Elanna took her place beside Harry, encircled by
their friends.

Janeway held up her hands to silence the approving murmurs
of the assembly. She lowered her hands and then her head
slightly, the soft strains of music becoming whisper quiet, a
strange stirring in her own heart as she looked at the two
lovers. As Captain and their friend, she officiated the ceremony
in the legal sense, a simple series of questions with only one
true answer: \”Yes,\” which was repeated with simple trust and
honesty as they looked into each other\’s eyes. She smiled
warmly, laying her hands on their shoulders, then looked behind
her and drew back.

Chakotay caught the unuttered words of encouragement in
Janeway\’s eyes as he took his place before the couple and felt a
surge of confidence. He looked at his old friends, but only
vaguely saw the awe and reverence as he began the speech that had
culminated in him walking out of her quarters what seemed so long
ago.

\”\’We gather here today to celebrate as a family the miracle
of love and its fulfillment through eternal union.\”

Even as he blessed them, the dark, lovely face of the half-
Klingon bride was replaced by a still lovelier face and form that
stood close beside him in dress uniform, listening with burning
shame as that ungodly benediction was pronounced again.

\”Here, on this ship, far from what we thought mattered
most, we have slowly come to acknowledge Voyager as our home, as
well as each other as family and friends, and finally, as these
two and so many others onboard represent, lovers. Today we join
the first of hopefully many souls together as one in the most
sacred and beautiful of bonds.\”

Even Paris was not so misty as to not be slightly aware of
Janeway\’s face crimsoning as Chakotay began the oration, then
cooling and turning to look at him about halfway through with a
small tear trickling unnoticed down her cheek.

\”Bless you two, now one by the grace of the Divine Spirit,
and may you continue in peace and love through each other\’s
strength, now and forever.\”

B\’Elanna and Harry looked up, and as Chakotay and Janeway
smiled down on them, the two shared their first kiss as husband
and wife, the melody swelling and surrounding them almost
tangibly, completing a moment torn from some ancient movie, with
the two newly-married people kissing surrounded and encompassed
by love, especially in the two that stood behind and above them,
side by side, turning ever-so-slowly towards each other as
B\’Elanna and Harry turned to face their friends, walking back
down the aisle, followed closely by the wedding party and the
guests as they headed for the reception in the holodeck.

Janeway didn\’t follow them, choosing instead to linger in
the beautiful surroundings of the garden, which flung scents of
earth and life as she walked. She wound around the overgrown
containers, stopping as she reached an particularly beautiful
spot. Containers full of alien flowers and Tuvok\’s hybrid
orchids had been set on the ground, filling this particular spot
with aerial fragrance. The flowers foamed over their various
pots, curling towards the feet of the gorgeous white marble of
Emily\’s statue.

The figures were life-size, and uncannily lifelike as they
looked out with an unchanging view of life. Janeway touched the
faces: Harry and B\’Elanna, who remained in an unchanging embrace,
as happy now as they had been then. Emily was planning to carve
a small band on each of their intertwined ring fingers. Neelix
and Kes, a little older but still in love. The unaging Doctor,
Tom, who would in a way always be about ten years old, Emily, who
grew everyday under her and Chakotay\’s influence.

She and Chakotay.

She touched their faces, lingering on the lips of
Chakotay\’s marble visage, then stepping back to look at them as
if looking in a mirror rather than a statue. She loved him…
had realized that anew when Chakotay had blessed B\’Elanna and
Harry a few minutes ago… had realized she\’d behaved foolishly
when he\’d practically asked her to marry him. And because of her
inane skittishness, she\’d walk on pins and needles with him for
the rest of her life.

\”I\’m a fool.\” she said to herself, the words echoing
through the hydroponics bay and slapping her with their truth all
over again. She sighed, then turned to go to the holodeck. The
tall figure standing before her was no statue, and she gave an
embarrassed gasp, but she didn\’t ask how much he had heard.

Sensing her embarrassment, he in turn did not ask why she
felt the fool, and she felt a little better. He did not ask why
she wasn\’t already at the reception, perhaps because then he
would have to explain why he was not there as well. Taking her
hand, he merely guided her to the holodeck with a rhetorical,
\”Going to the holodeck?\” No Captain, no Kathryn, no names
whatsoever. She didn\’t know whether to be relived or frightened
by this, so she merely nodded and allowed herself to be led to
the reception.

When they got there, Janeway was reminded of a ghost story
she had been told once at camp about a ghost with a red-hot coal
in its breast instead of a heart. She hugged the happy couple
and congratulated them, made the traditional rounds expected of a
Captain, then felt so nauseous that she pleaded the lateness of
the hour (although it was scarcely 2200) and retreated to her
quarters. Her exit did not go unnoticed: Emily moved to follow
her, but Paris had grabbed her arm and whirled her into a group
of dancing couples before she could protest. When she opened her
mouth to complain, Paris nodded toward the tall figure rapidly
striding toward the door, and Emily quickly clamped her mouth
closed, but the worried frown didn\’t lift much.

\”Do you think they\’ll solve whatever\’s wrong, Paris?\” she
asked, trying to look over his shoulder and twisting to look
behind her alternately. No matter what those ditzy Delaney
sisters said, Tom Paris could NOT dance to save his soul.

Paris grinned at the worried expression on her face in
profile. \”They always do, don\’t they, Kita?\”

Emily didn\’t feel much relieved, but she poked him in the
arm in false joviality. \”I suppose so… and don\’t call me
that.\”

-39-

Chakotay scarcely had enough time to slip in the turbolift
before the doors slid closed. He saw the preoccupied expression
on her face and touched her shoulder, causing her to look up,
reddening furiously. \”Halt turbolift.\” he said instinctively.
\”What\’s wrong, Kathryn?\”

Janeway looked up, looking like she\’d been given a pardon
by the governor a minute before midnight. \”I… I\’m sorry.\”

Chakotay frowned. \”Sorry? For what?\”

\”For acting like an idiot.\”

\”It\’s not your fault, Kathryn. I shouldn\’t have gone off
like that.\”

\”It\’s no one\’s fault – – it was just a misunderstanding.\”
said Janeway, resting her hand on his arm. She looked up and
smiled. \”I love you.\”

Chakotay smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist. \”Then I
didn\’t blow a month\’s replicator rations for nothing.\” he
grinned, producing a small box.

Janeway didn\’t even wait for him to open it. She looked up
at Chakotay and kissed him happily.

-40-

The next morning, Chakotay woke his fiancee early. She
blinked her eyes open lazily, murmuring, \”Duty call already?\”

He shook his head, smiling as he brushed a few strands of
hair from off her half-opened eyelids. \”I just thought we might
want to pay a visit to Cadet Friedman. She deserves to know, and
we didn\’t get around to it last night.\”

Janeway at up, nodding. \”Good idea.\”

It was 0545, and the little rooms were very still and quiet
as they entered from the doorway connected to her quarters.
Chakotay passed through it, smirking, \”Wish we had one of those
connecting to my quarters.\”

Janeway pushed him through gently, whispering, \”We will
soon enough.\”

They passed through the tiny living area to the still
tinier bedroom, where Emily slept soundly, her head buried in a
soft pillow and her flannel-clad figure wound up a maze of
blankets and sheets and coils of black-brown hair, with a small
smile on her lips, as if she were dreaming a very pleasant dream.
Chakotay had second thoughts about disturbing her – -it had been
a long while since any of them had had a good night\’s sleep – –
but he still knelt down and shook her shoulder. She twisted
groggily very much as Janeway did, and she blinked sleep from her
eyes as she smiled sleepily up at them. Chakotay grinned. \”Hey
there, Quetit.\”

\”Hey yourself. It\’s hours before duty call, C – – who
died, was born, or got married?\”

Chakotay rumpled her hair. \”No one – – yet.\”

Emily made a face. \”Ha ha. No, really.\”

Chakotay grabbed her hand and gave her a hearty mock-
handshake. \”Congratulations. You\’re officially adopted.\”

Emily quirked an eyebrow. \”By who?\”

Janeway appeared from behind Chakotay, smoothing the girl\’s
hair. \”Us.\”

\”But you guys can\’t both adopt me, you aren\’t – – \” Emily
stood up on the bed, nearly knocking her head with Chakotay\’s.
She looked from Chakotay to Janeway and back again rapidly,
saying, \”You guys are getting – – ?\” Janeway nodded. Emily
grinned, jumping from the bed to encircle her arms around
Chakotay\’s neck in a short leap. \”Wow!!\” she cried, beaming.
She hopped down, sitting back down on the bed, her face propped
up in her hands, looking gloomy.

They sat down on either side of her, each placing an arm on
her shoulder, looking concerned. \”What\’s wrong, Lea? I thought
you wanted us to get married.\” asked Chakotay, placing his
forehead on hers.

Emily looked up at him, tragedy written on her face. \”If
I\’m the Captain and Commander\’s daughter, then…\”

\”What?\”

\”Then I can\’t jump Tom Paris!\” she frowned, her eyes
dancing with ill-suppressed laughter.

Janeway wagged a finger at her in mock-severity. \”You
can\’t do that anyway, young lady.\”

Emily leaned her head on Janeway\’s satin shoulder, smiling.
\”That\’s my mom.\”

************************************************************
PART FOUR: Well, THAT Explains It – –
************************************************************

-1-

\”I can\’t get out of dodge!!\”

Paris swerved, crying, \”Direct hit!! All primary power
off-line!!\”

A slim brown fist slammed the console. \”DAMN!!\”

A huge explosion filled the shuttle, the entire craft was
blanketed in darkness.

Paris grinned as the lights came up again, illuminating the
slim figure gripping the sides of her chair as she sat beside
him. \”Congradulations, Kita – – you\’re dead.\”

The dark oval face that had been staring angrily out ino
space swivled sharply on her neck, whipping her dark braid over
her shoulder. She glared pure animosity at the aggrivating man,
her face flushing darkly and her eyes glittering electric blue.
The expression was extremely familiar to the pilot, but on an
older, masculine, less lenient face: her adopted father.

Cadet Emily Kathryn Quetit Friedman, formerly of Houston,
Texas, circa 1996, flashed Tom the evil eye. She had gotten over
most of her original distaste of the sandy-headed man, but
sometimes he crossed the line. \”Very funny, Paris. Now can you
explain what went wrong?\”

Paris leaned back in his seat, his grin spreading until the
man looked like a damned Cheshire cat. \”Quite frankly, Em,
you\’re a whiz with ship\’s systems and… less than proficient at
piloting.\”

The line was crossed. Emily stood up, snapping, \”End
simulation,\” sending Paris to the floor as his chair disappeared.
Emily paced, snarling, \”That\’s why YOU\’RE supposed to be helping
me – – and I don\’t see much help – – just a bunch of smart-ass
comments.\”

Paris was used to this behavior. On more than one occasion
it seemed that she became thirty years older than she actually
was and he was reduced to a teenage cadet again. She had an air
of maturity that wrapped about her at the most aggrivating times,
irritating him immeasurably while pleasing Chakotay enormously –
– maybe more so because he knew Paris hated it. Even long after
the tiff on the Bridge, the old wounds didn\’t heal completely.

He grinned nonetheless, smiling, \”Easy, Em – – maybe we
should continue this tommorow.\”

\”You\’re right – – I\’m not up to this tonight – – Because
QUITE FRANKLY, you\’re making me nausous, Paris.\” snapped Emily,
turning on one heel and stalking out of the room.

While Paris bemused the little spitfire\’s turning on him –
– AGAIN – – in the solitary comfort of Sandrine\’s, she made her
way to one of the few people she could always turn to, no matter
how minor her trouble.

The First Officer aboard the U.S.S. Voyager was finishing
up his daily reports when a familiar figure entered his office as
was her custom. She was not a tower of fury, or even as tower-
like as a five foot five – – oops, five foot six and a HALF, as
she was constantly reminding everyone (luckily, according to the
Doctor, Emily had the promise of increased hieght as she grew
older, as well as Janeway\’s gift of appearing bigger than she
really was in the meantime.) – – could have been.

On the contrary, she was, like always, slightly quiet and
somewhat reserved when she walked in, even if her customary smile
did not illuminate her features. She padded over to her usual
seat and proceeded to hug one of the neutral-clothed cushionsin a
vise-like grip while staring at the ceiling as is it was the most
fascinating architectural detail in the room. She didn\’t speak,
nor did she ask curiously what he was doing, nor did she do
anything but squeeze the cushion tightly and gaze upwards
intently, her mouth pressed into a thin line.

She was uncannily silent as Chakotay finished his last
report, waiting, alibet unusually quietly, like she always did
until he had a moment to spare for her. He laid the PADD aside,
resting his elbows on the desk and turning a paternal eye on the
solemn face that had removed its attention from the ceiling and
was now staring at him.

It wasn\’t her style to wear her heart on her sleeve for all
to see any more than it was of her guardians, but the anxiety in
her bright blue orbs that had turned them deep indigo wasn\’t hard
to decipher. \”What\’s the matter, Quetit?\”

Emily pulled herself into an upright sitting position,
looking frustratedly at Chakotay. \”There\’s no way I\’m going to
pass even first year exams, Chakotay!\”

\”Why? You\’re a genius with ship\’s systems – – Hell, you
can read the ship\’s mind – – and even Tuvok says you\’re doing
great, which is saying alot.\”

\”But I can\’t fly even a shuttle worth a damn, Chakotay.
I\’ve tried everything I know, but I can\’t pilot!\” she said
mournfully, without a trace of exaggeration in her tone.

She looked so lost and helpless, like a small animal caught
in trap that was just beyond its comprehension. He wanted to hug
and comfort her, but this particular animal was growing up and
needed to learn to tough it out – – besides, she had claws that,
thanks to Tuvok and B\’Elanna, she knew how to use.

\”You\’ll do fine, Lea… just do the best you can. I\’m sure
you\’ll do fine.\”

Emily nodded slightly, then looked up. \”But what if I
don\’t? Then you\’ll be ashamed of me.\”

Chakotay bored holes into her. \”Now you listen here, Emily
Kathryn Quetit Friedman, I would never be ashamed of you if you
tried your absolute best, and you\’d better remember that.\”

Emily smiled for the first time since she had entered the
room. It constantly amazed him how very different she looked
when she smiled: it positively transfigured her face, and she
looked very much like her adopted mother, dispite the dark
coloring and the tattoo. \”Yes, sir.\”

-2-

Emily internalized Chakotay\’s well-meant words, but the
fact she couldn\’t do something still rankled. But she didn\’t
take it out on poor Paris – – not intentionally, at least.

Paris was sauntering down the corridor to the holodecks
when he overheard a huge thwack, like flesh striking something
very hard and very fast. He snuck in towards the direction of
the sound, slipping his security override into the computer,
unable to supress his curiousity.

A large mass slammed into a mat from above Paris\’ head as
he entered. The lump, a large Bolian, blinked in amazement right
before he disappeared in a shimmer. He looked up, expecting
Tuvok or Chakotay or maybe B\’Elanna to look down from the ledge.
His eyes widened, then crinkled into a grin along with the rest
of his face as the slight figure dressed in white leapt down from
the ledge.

\”What are you doing in here, Paris?\” said Emily, shoving a
long wavy lock of dark brown hair back into her ponytail, her
blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

\”I heard the sound of brute force. I thought it was
Chakotay or someone… bigger.\”

Emily put her hands on her hips, smiling wryly. \”Oh?\”

Her tone was layered with challange, and Paris naturally
bristled at it. \”Ever tried a human foe, Kita?\”

\”I\’ve been practicing with Tuvok.\” she said airily, belying
the seriousness of the Vulcan\’s tutoring. She looked at Paris\’s
mischevious grin, adding disbelievingly, \”You aren\’t seriously
considering me fight YOU?\”

\”I never said that, Friedman.\”

Emily shrugged her shoulders. \”Whatever.\”

Paris bristled again: Emily always knew exactly which
buttons to push. \”You saying I\’m chicken?\”

\”I didn\’t say THAT, Paris.\” smiled Emily aggrivatingly.

Paris was on the defensive now: not a good idea, especially
with a kid who had the inherited talent of psyching her oponents
out. \”Well, ya wanna fight or not, Kita?\”

\”Sure.\”

\”Sure what, Quetit?\” a booming masculine voice echoed
behind them.

Emily turned around and beamed, running over to Chakotay
with a devilish gleam in her eyes. \”Paris wants to fight me, C.
IssOK?\”

Chakotay smoothed the girl\’s bedraggled dark hair, looking
up at Paris with a half-cocked eyebrow and a amused smile. \”Are
you sure, Paris? Are you even trained in martial arts?\”

Paris colored slightly, but he said breezily, \”I went
through the standard Starfleet defense courses.\”

Emily snickered. \”You know even better than I do that
\’Fleet defense courses only briefly cover martial arts. I\’ve
been studying with Chakotay and Tuvok for months.\”

But Paris was riled, and stubborn as hell. \”I didn\’t serve
umpteen months in the New Zealand Penal Colony for nothing,
missy.\”

Emily grinned, extending her hand. \”Fine… it\’s your
funeral. Tommorow , 1700 hours.\”

Paris shook her hand with a rather violent force. \”Deal.\”

Paris then turned and stalked defiantly out of the
holodeck, and Emily shook her head. \”Dork.\”

Chakotay grinned conspiratorially at his daughter.
\”Couldn\’t have said it better myself.\”

-3-

The next day, thanks to Neelix and Kes\’s publicity, as well
as Chakotay\’s more discreet broadcasting, a small crowd of off-
duty Alpha shift crewmen had gathered in the holodeck to watch
the fight. The entire senior staff had discussed and even placed
small bets on the upcoming tˆte-…-tˆte with avid interest at
Sandrine\’s the night before, its Parisian \”proprietor\” strangely
absent, the only word of him all night being word of mouth from
various observers that reported him running laps in the lower
decks, push ups in the gym, sit ups in his quarters (though the
source of that last little bit of information was never
uncovered).

Janeway shook her head as she entered the holodeck, looking
at Chakotay with a stern glare. \”I don\’t like this one bit,
Chakotay.\”

Chakotay smiled. \”She got him where it hurt – – his ego.\”

\”What if Tom wins?\”

\”Kathryn, he\’s been training one day, Emily\’s been working
with me and Tuvok for months.\”

\”But Tom\’s twice her age – – taller, stronger…\”

\”I wouldn\’t be so sure on that last one, Kathryn.\” grinned
Chakotay mysteriously.

They seated themselves beside Harry and B\’Elanna, who were
engaged in heated debate with Kes and the Doctor over who would
come out on top. Tuvok sat near the group, ramrod straight and
immobile as ever. Janeway and Chakotay immersesed themselves in
the discussion until a white clad figure stood, hands-on-hips
before them.

Janeway hugged Emily tightly, then set her away a little
and stared into the matching china-blue eyes. \”Are you sure you
want to do this?\”

Emily grinned. \”Come ON, Captain, he\’s toast. I\’ve been
taught by the best.\” she smiled in Chakotay and Tuvok\’s
direction.

\”If you are suggesting that Commander Chakotay and I are
the best in the field of martial arts, you are mistaken, Cadet
Friedman.\” interjected Tuvok.

Emily stepped away from her concerned parents and stood
before Tuvok, hands behind her back, leaning forward slightly.
\”Lieutenant Tuvok, may I make a suggestion?\”

\”Of course, Cadet.\”

\”Don\’t read too much into human compliments.\”

\”I never do, Cadet.\”

Emily opened her mouth to make another remark, but a sudden
wave of cheers, catcalls, and wolf whistles exploded through the
room. Paris sauntered in with a huge grin on his face. Emily\’s
own face turned stony. \”OK, lizard boy, I\’m gonna wipe that grin
right off your face.\”

Janeway was puzzled for a minute, then flushed rosily,
grasping Chakotay\’s hand a little tighter.

Paris basked in the glory for a few seconds, until a tap on
his shoulder jolted him back. \”Ready?\”

Paris smirked. \”Always.\”

A sudden hush, then a flurry of motion as the two began to
move in dance-like circles, kicking and jabbing in precise
circles, never quite making contact. Then Paris, impatient as
always, lunged wildly at Emily\’s midsection. Emily dodged
quickly, grabbing his outstretched foot and using his own
momentum to flip him.

Undaunted by the twinge of pain coursing up his leg, Paris
leapt up, vainly attempting a roundhouse but crashing 180 degrees
through. There was a sickening crunch as he fell backside first
onto the mat. Emily turned to the audience, shaking her head in
annoyance. \”It\’s over.\”

\”NO! It\’s not over! Let me get up… ohhh.\” moaned Paris
as he flopped back limply onto the mats.

Kes and the Doctor rushed over, Kes grabbing a medkit from
behind a panel. The Doctor looked up at the milling crowd.
\”Beam him to sickbay. I can\’t treat him here.\” He looked back
down at the writhing young man flailing to get up. \”Kes, I think
we\’re going to have to sedate him.\”

-4-

The Doctor turned to the worried mass of senior officers
with a sigh. \”Paris dies, no one\’s here. Paris breaks his
hipbone, the entire crew swarms in.\” he said wryly.

Emily mumbled, \”Abducting and screwing the Captain is not
exactly a brownie pointer either, Doc.\”

The Doctor turned sharply. \”What did you say, Cadet?\”

Emily opened her eyes very wide, reddening furiously.
\”Nothing, Doc, nothing at all.\”

\”So he broke his hip?\” asked Janeway.

\”As well as what you would call his tail bone.\” said the
Doctor nodding.

Emily burst out laughing. \”He broke his… HA!\” she said,
dissolving into giggles, then silencing when she saw the daggers
Paris was shooting at her. \”Sorry.\”

Paris rolled his eyes. \”Yeah right. Excuse me if I don\’t
thank you for kicking my ass. And that goes for you too,
Chakotay.\”

Chakotay chuckled, shaking his head. \”It\’s your own fault,
Paris. I TRIED to warn you.\”

The Doctor pulled out a hypo. \”It\’s easily repaired – –
he\’ll be back on his – – feet in no time. Now, roll over, Mr.
Paris.\”

\”WHAT?!\” said Paris, squirming.

\”I have to inject this hypo to dull the pain, Mr. Paris.\”

Paris turned beet red, waving the assembled crew out
frantically. \”Can\’t a guy get a little privacy around here!?\”

-5-

On the Bridge the next week, things were running smoothly,
a picturesque scene out of some 24th century Norman Rockwell
named perhaps \”A Lazy Day On The Bridge\”.

And it was a slow day indeed. Harry\’s undaunted enthusiasm
flagged, and his elder compatriots were practically comatose.
Chakotay stared at his console lazily, and Janeway blinked
rapidly every so often to keep from falling asleep in her chair.
Even Tuvok seemed a fraction less attentive than usual.

Even Emily, who was thrilled in the slightest blip on a
viewscreen, the entire starship concept being so new to her,
yawned slightly. She rested her head on her hand, which was
propped up on the side of the conn as she observed Lieutenant
Paris, who was close to dozing off himself.

The sluggish atmosphere continued without a single
interruption until the small hours of the shift dwindled away,
and finally the Beta shift came to take over, fresh and enthused,
to release the weary Bridge crew.

It was as if a blanket of boredom was whisked away from the
group as they exited the Bridge – – except Emily. Harry rushed
to the turbolift with such ill-hid enthusiasm it was impossible
to mistake his destination. Paris grinned, making an off-hand
remark.

Ordinarily, Emily would have no doubt laughed or vigorously
mock-scolded Tom for his insolence, which was one of the reasons
he did it, but tonight she merely smiled, shaking her head.

Paris frowned. When she didn\’t summarily groan or at least
giggle at his wry humor she was either preoccupied or ill. The
pale tinge to her face and the hollow circles under her eyes were
there for a reason as well. He would have to talk to Chakotay or
Janeway about it sometime, but not right now: the two had already
disappeared somewhere or another with obviously un-professional
intentions.

The lift deposited Paris on deck six, and he fully intended
to go and run Sandrine\’s and lose himself in pool, synthahol, and
women, but somehow the sight of someone, even someone who had
humiliated him a week ago, so wan and exhausted left a bitter
residue that even several fun-filled hours in a French tavern
couldn\’t obliverate. For once, Thomas Eugiene Paris thought of
someone other than himself.

The lackluster day stretched out into a week, with Paris,
as well as most of the crew, praying for something – – anything –
– to happen to lift the incessant boredom.

But, as the wise man once said, be careful what you pray
for – – you just might get it. And they got it in the form of an
enormous power surge caused by an overload while B\’Elanna and
Harry, itching for a new conundrum to solve, were attempting to
modify the nacells for increased efficency. They, as well as the
rest of the crew, had their hands full just getting all the
primary systems back on-line after THAT mishap.

Paris looked back on those slow days of but a few days ago
with the air of an aging salt recounting the old days. Now it
seemed as if the entire universe was crashing down on his
shoulders, with no let up in sight. He, as well as the rest of
the senior staff, was so preoccupied with the ship and their own
personal woes that no one noticed the diminishing vim and vigor
of the youngest member of the crew, who pitched in with the less
technical aspects of the repair work, nor did they connect the
pallor of her skin and uncanny flush in her cheeks with an
illness of any kind. Her tardiness to her classes with Tuvok and
Paris, which the repairs had made infrequent lately, was viewed
more as carelessness and an irritation (if the good-natured pilot
or the stone-faced Vulcan could become irritated) than anything
else.

The turning point of the whole situation came when Emily
was tardy for yet another lesson – – even later than usual, as if
there was a difference. Tuvok noticed it, but did not connect it
to any observations he had made of the Cadet, and Tom Paris was
too busy ranting about her in general to notice, mumbling things
along the lines of, \”What\’d you expect of CHAKOTAY\’s kid…
little whelp… make a fool of ME, will she?\”

A jarring beep interrupted Paris before he could continue.
Tuvok raised an eyebrow to the slight figure breathing heavily in
the doorway. \”Well, Cadet, you seem to have decided to join us
today.\” he commented dryly.

Paris, who had silenced his tirade to glare at the girl,
immediately changed his tune. Being only human, he wasn\’t immune
to the exhaustion in her abnormally pale face and the dark
circles under her eyes that had not lightened since he had first
casually noticed them. And now that he thought about it,
Chakotay and Janeway had commented that she\’d been sleeping less
and less lately, and Neelix was constantly trying to make her eat
more as well. He hadn\’t put two and two together until now.

\”Lieutenant Tuvok?\” she whispered softly to the solemn
Vulcan.

\”Yes, Cadet?\”

\”In the 24th century, is there a cure for mononucleosis?\”

Tuvok cocked an eyebrow pointedly. \”Why do you ask,
Cadet?\”

\”Because I think I have it…\” she murmured, swaying
unsteadily, lurching forward. She would have fallen to the floor
had Paris not suspected her weakness and rushed forward to grab
her by the arm. Tuvok watched the girl stagger, then tapped his
comm badge with a composed, \”Tuvok to Sickbay.\”

-6-

An hour later, Emily sat up, opening her eyes, the Doctor
shaking his head. as he stood with his back to her, speaking to
several tall figures, whose features were fuzzy at best. \”I\’m
sorry, I can\’t help her, Commander. There is nothing on file
like this disease. I can tell you that it is a type of
mononuleotic virus, which has been dormant in her system since
before she came here, and has only now been brought to the
surface through contact with another virus. But without a better
diagnosis, I can\’t access the information on treatment. I\’m
sorry.\”

Emily sighed weakly, alerting the Doctor to his patient\’s
concious state. \”Doctor, does that mean I have to ride this
thing out?\”

The Doctor looked at the weary little face with a trace of
compassion. \”I\’m afraid so – – I can\’t find anything in my
database like it.\”

Emily sank back onto the biobed, doubled over as racking
coughs tossed her upper body like a rag doll.

Unable to do anything more, the Doctor let Emily return to
her quarters, accompanied by Chakotay. It was very slow going,
her feet stumbling dizzily most of the way. He tucked her into
her bed, watching over her until she fell asleep again. When her
breathing finally became regular and slow, he moved to get up.
He turned and saw Janeway looking down at Emily with worried
eyes.

\”Is she all right?\” she whispered, meeting his gaze.

Chakotay instinctively smoothed the wispy curls from off
the girl\’s flushed forehead, absently tracing the dark lines of
the tattoo there. \”The Doctor said she\’ll be fine after the
virus runs its course, which could be awhile… she has some sort
of mononucleotic virus.\”

Janeway knew a little about childhood illnesses like this –
– but when she was growing up, there were vaccines and treatments
that surely the Doctor would know about. \”Can\’t he treat her?\”

Chakotay shook his head slowly. \”The Doctor can\’t treat
her – – he\’s never seen anything like it. Nothing he\’s tried
works.\”

Janeway put her hands on her hips, her eyes turning steely
as she glared out into the blackness of space. \”We are going to
find out how to cure Emily\’s illness.\” It was a statement of
fact, not a question, but an answer. She turned back to where
Chakotay sat, hands under his chin, elbows on his knees, looking
up at her. She walked over to the chair, wrapping her arms
around his neck, bending to touch her forehead to his,
whispering, \”I promise.\”

Chakotay smiled faintly, nodding until his lips met hers.
\”I know.\”

-7-

The next day, Emily returned to sickbay, hoping for a
miracle, but still the Doctor could do nothing more for her but
prescribe bed rest, which Emily vehemently opposed until another
set of coughs effectively silenced her again, and then a huge
yawn cutting off the rest of her protests. The Doctor had looked
heavenward, raising an eyebrow to Kes and Chakotay, who had
returned to sickbay after his duty shift. Emily was a bit more
docile after that, being too tired to argue. And that, as Paris
snickered repeatedly, trying to mask his own worry with humor,
was the true measure of how sick she was.

She was moved back to her quarters again, where she fell
asleep almost the instant her head hit the pillow, but not
without a soft laugh and a pithy comment about how at least the
nausea hadn\’t hit yet.

Thankfully, she was only overwhelmingly weak and tired
during the course of her illness. She would sleep for hours,
then wake to find someone or another waiting beside her bed as if
on cue. Sometimes she could sit up and have an entire
conversation with the visitor, but more often than not she would
smile and close her eyes again with a few coughs.

Janeway and Chakotay tried not to worry, but it was very
hard to be utterly helpless as they watched their adopted
daughter convulse with hacking coughs, even when it wasn\’t
extraordinarily life-threatening. They promised each other they
wouldn\’t get overly anxious, but as the weeks slipped by, their
nightly watches, sometimes alone, sometimes together, beside the
sick girl\’s bed grew longer.

It was about three weeks into the illness when Janeway
awoke one night with a vauge feeling that somwthing was not quite
right. She sat up to call Chakotay, but he did not reply to her
repeated pagings. She sat up, grabbing a robe and wrapping it
about her gowned figure, striding worriedly towards Emily\’s
quarters.

The door slid open, revealing a sight that made Janeway\’s
frightened face soften and smile. Emily\’s bed had been layered
with blankets and pillows, and in the midst of them she slept
quietly, a slant of starlight streaking across the bed and
caressed ever so lightly the face and form of the figure dozing
in a massive wing chair a few feet from the bed.

Janeway glided over to where Emily slept peacefully,
smoothing the flushed face and dishelved locks of brown-black
hair, tracing the tattoo on her brow. She adjusted the blankets,
then turned her attentions to the sleeping figure in the chair.

Chakotay slumped a little in the huge chair, his head
resting on the wing attached to the back of the chair. He had
not meant to fall asleep: so much was evident from the watchful
posture he had affected shortly before being overcome by sleep.

She stroked his face gently, not really wanting to wake him
from his deep sleep: it was so rare to get a good night\’s rest
around here lately, but he stirred under her light touch,
recognizing it even in sleep and grasping her hand as he opened
his eyes and smiled at her sleepily.

\”How long have I been asleep here?\” he said hoarsely.

Janeway shook her head. \”I don\’t know. All I know is you
were here when I woke up a few minutes ago.\” She glanced over at
the girl. \”I was worried… And then I didn\’t know where you
were…\”

\”It\’s OK, Kathryn. I meant to just sit down for a few
minutes, but…\”

Janeway smiled. \”I would have done the same thing,
Chakotay. I\’m just as worried. But I\’m worried more about you.
You haven\’t slept more than a few hours at a time. Go to bed.\”

Chakotay smiled through the overwhelming sleepiness. \”You
make it sound so easy. But every time I try to sleep, I wonder
if she\’s stopped breathing or…\”

\”Stop that. It does no good for anyone, especially you.\”
Janeway\’s face was stern, but her voice and the way she wrapped
her arms around him a little tighter betrayed her anxiety.

Chakotay grinned this time: a full, ear to ear smile that
lit up his face and warmed her insides. \”Aye, Captain.\”

-8-

Emily had put on her cadet uniform after feeling better a
few days in a row, but Janeway had insisted she be strictly an
observer, and delegated her to a few shifts on the bridge, where
they could keep an eye on her. She climbed onto her low chair
overlooking the pilot\’s conn.

The Alpha shift was almost over when Emily heard a clucking
noise. She turned around, noticing that everyone else was
looking around for the source of the disapproving noise. Emily
looked confusedly at Janeway and Chakotay, who were just as lost.

For a split second.

In a simple warping of space, a very familiar face
materialized in the center of the Bridge.

Emily turned around in her chair with an expression of
fear, anger, and rapt attention. \”Q!\” she whispered with a
mixture of delight and anxiety.

Q turned around, staring into Emily\’s eyes with an
unfathomable expression, then broke into a wide grin. \”Ah, my
little protege!\” he smiled, patting her head. \”How are you
doing, sweetie?\”

\”Fine…\” said Emily, then amending her statement. \”But
don\’t call me sweetie.\”

Q laughed. \”Well at least you have a backbone… which is
why I chose you.\”

\”I\’m honored.\” said Emily wryly.

\”Don\’t take that tone with ME, young lady, or I\’ll send you
right back to Earth, 1996.\”

\”Why are you here again, Q?\” said Janeway.

\”Kathy, Kathy! You wound me! Just wanted to check on my
favorite starship.\”

\”What did you mean about… choosing me?\” asked Emily, who
had stood up from her chair and edged closer to the infamous
creature.

\”I mean exactly what I said – – I chose you – – part of the
test.\”

Emily cocked her head curiously. \”What test?\”

Q patted her on the head again. \”You\’ll see. But here\’s a
clue.\”

-9-

A shifting of reality, and a thick cloud of sulfurous gas
nearly knocked Emily over. She blinked her eyes, looking over at
the first familiar face she saw: Paris. \”Gasoline.\” they said in
chorus, a horn blaring as a hand grabbed hers and yanked hard.

Emily collapsed into a solid object, then righted herself,
realizing that Q had dropped her directly in the center of a busy
street and someone had pulled her out of harm\’s way. She turned
to thank her rescuer, and blanched.

\”Gabriel?\” she asked.

The boy blinked at her. \”How do you know my name?\”

\”I\’m Emily Friedman – – sort of.\”

\”Really? Wow!\” he said. Then, he suddenly remembered
where they were, and began to gesture down the street. \”It\’s
dangerous here, follow me.\”

\”Just a second.\” she said, waving Tom over from where he
was admiring a ahiny cherry red mustang parked nearby.

Gabriel stared for a second, but he didn\’t quite piece the
puzzle together until he had led them to a small park. He eyed
their uniforms with an arched eyebrow. \”You\’re here for the
convention, I suppose.\”

\”Sort of.\” said Emily. \”It\’s a long story. But this
doesn\’t look like Bakersfield.\”

Gabriel laughed. \”Of course not! This is L.A., Emily…
Something tells me I need to hear this story of yours, Emily.\”

\”I\’d like to change first. They\’re not kidding when they
say these things are tight. I\’m assuming you have a hotel room
around here?\”

Gabriel grinned approvingly as he looked up and down at the
grey and crimson uniform. \”Of course. It\’s Grand Slam – – I\’m
sharing a suite with a couple of my friends. It\’s only a block
away from here, and my friends won\’t be here until the convention
starts in three days.\”

\”Sounds good to me.\”

Gabriel led them to a series of large inter-connected hotel
rooms, where Emily and Paris proceeded to sit down. Gabriel sat
down as well. \”This story of yours?\” he suggested. \”I\’d suggest
starting with why you appeared out of nowhere, and move on to why
you\’re wearing \’Fleet uniforms but don\’t even know there\’s a
convention going on, much less where you are.\”

Emily sighed. \”Well,you might not belive this…\”

\”Go on.\”

\”You see, I\’m not REALLY Emily Clare Friedman. My name is
Emily Kathryn Quetit Friedman – – CADET Friedman, of the starship
U.S.S. Voyager.\”

\”WHAT?!\”

\”To summarize it very briefly, we were on Voyager when Q
brought us here for some unknown reason.\”

\”Anyway to prove you\’re really from Voyager?\”

Emily scrunched her brow, then brightened. \”Sure.\” She
tapped her comm badge. \”Friedman to Chakotay.\”

A relieved breath filled the room. \”Emily! We got here
and we couldn\’t find a trace of you or Paris anywhere! Where are
you?\”

Emily grinned at Gabriel, then grabbed up a magazine and
flipped it over to check the address. \”We\’re downtown , 900
Buena Vista Drive. We\’ll meet you in the lobby.\”

\”OK. Chakotay out.\”

Emily turned swiftly to Gabriel. \”Do you have a laptop
around here?\”

\”Of course.\” he said, gesturing to the table where a
portable computer was open on the shiny surface. Emily dove for
the chair, typing furiously. \”Aha!\” she cried. \”Got it!\”

\”Got what?\”

Emily ignored them, diving for the phone and dialing
furiously. \”Hello? Yes, I\’d like to order a few things… 900
Buena Vista Drive. Yes, express delivery please. 10% tip if you
can get it here in an hour. Thank you.\”

\”What was THAT all about?\”

\”I don\’t know about you, but I\’m not wearing this damned
uniform through the streets of L.A. for God-knows-how-long. I
just ordered a few things on my brother\’s credit card. Luckily
he won\’t be able to tell, his expenditures are so inflated
anyway.\” she chuckled. \”I just hope I got the sizes right.\”

-10-

When Janeway and the rest of the senior staff arrived in
the huge lobby of the Grand Hyatt, a breathless young man in dark
brown rushed in bearing large brown packages. Emily rushed over
to the poor young man, waving her hands wildly. The young man
looked relived. \”Emily Friedman?\”

\”Yup.\”

\”Sign here.\” Emily signed lavishly, and handed the
clipboard back to him.

\”Could you bring those up to room 901? There\’s someone up
there expecting those packages.\”

\”Sure.\”

\”Thank you.\”

Emily nodded, then looked up, breaking into a run over to
the group of people who were entering the hotel. When she
reached them, she led them towards the elevator. Once inside,
she pressed the button for the 9th floor, and turned to the eight
curious pairs of eyes fixed on her.

\”If you haven\’t guessed, we\’re in L.A., 1997.\” she said.
\”Luckily it\’s the beginning of Grand Slam, so no one will look at
us twice, even Neelix or Tuvok.\”

\”Grand Slam?\”

\”The biggest Trek convention of the year… all the actors
come, and people fill L.A. dressed in alien costumes and makeup.
My friend Gabriel has a suite of rooms he\’s agreed to let us meet
in until I can set us up in our own rooms.\”

\”You\’d think Q would have arranged this already.\” said
Janeway sarcastically.

\”But of course I have, my dear Kathy!\” smiled Q as he
appeared in the elevator, waving his hand. The door slid open on
the 9th floor, but he snapped his fingers as they stepped out,
transporting them into high-ceilinged suite of rooms. \”Voil !\”
he smiled happily just before he disappeared.

Emily walked further into the huge main room, whistling
softly. \”If this isn\’t the penthouse, I\’ll eat my hat.\” She
turned back around, grinning. \”And since I have no hat to speak
of, this better be a penthouse.\”

\”I don\’t get it: where\’s the replicators?\” said Harry,
looking around.

Emily grinned again, holding up a phone. \”The 20th century
equivalent, Harr: room service!\” She turned again, and clapped
her hands. \”Good, Q brought our packages up here!\”

Janeway cocked an eyebrow. \”Our packages?\”

Emily colored. \”We\’ll be less conspicous if we don\’t wear
our uniforms, Captain. This way you\’ll probably be mistaken for
your alter egos.\”

\”WE have alter egos, Emily?\” interjected Paris.

\”Of course, Tom: the actors who play you all live in L.A.,
and they\’ll probably be at Grand Slam, too. Expect to sign
autographs.\” She handed them a copy of the hotel\’s weekly
bulletin. In large typeface it announced: \”The Grand Hyatt
proudly welcomes the guests arriving for the Star Trek Grand Slam
Convention.\”

Emily, meanwhile, was hunting down a sharp object and,
finding none, grabbed a pen from the desk and jabbed it into the
top of the first box and ripping it across the top with violence.
Thus opened, she proceeded to extract articles of clothing,
murmurs of approval as the silk and soft colors flooded her
senses. She shut the box again, handing it to Janeway with a
terse: \”This is yours. I can only hope I got the size right.\”
and a wave towards an adjoining room.

As Janeway left, Emily ripped open a larger box with a
definite nod of approval. \”Very nice.\” She thrust the box in
Paris\’s hands, then moved back to attack another box while
calling over her shoulder: \”Tom, you guys go change into these.\”
and a sarcastic, \”I trust none of you are color blind?\” without
waiting for a response.

After flinging a box at B\’Elanna, another at Kes, and a
final one at Neelix, whom she had detained from the herd of males
exiting with the largest box, she grabbed up a small box and fled
into yet another room.

Ten minutes later, Emily reappeared in the main room,
finding seven-tenths of the senior staff waiting impatiently for
the other three to make their appearance. She nodded grim
approval, dispite the comic look Neelix gave tossed in the middle
of the other three men. She tapped her finger against her cheek
in contemplation for a minute, then snapped her fingers and dug
into the bottom of yet another box and tossed baseball caps to
Tuvok and Chakotay,

\”Brava, brava, my dear Kat.\” an infuriating voice snorted.

Janeway turned to the sound of the voice, reddening
furiously. \”Q!!\” she growled.

\”We meet again, my dear.\” he smiled, bowing low. \”How HAVE
you been? Wait,\” he smiled, pressing his finger to her lips.
\”You met that lizard woman repeated time, Ensign Wildman had that
adorable munchkin, and you have a sweet little daughter named
Emily Kathryn Friedman, who\’s a cadet. Her friend Nate stopped
by, but he died. And then poor Emma came down with the sniffles,
then another fun guy named Gabe beamed aboard.\”

\”How did you know that?\”

\”I\’m Q, sweetheart!! In fact, I wouldn;t be surprised if I
had something to DO with it…\”

\”YOU\’re the cause of that power surge?\”

\”Katie, Katie… you think so narrow-mindedly! I\’m in
charge of this entire charade, baby! Well, not ALL of it… just
up to little Em – – ever wondered how she got here – – you
didn\’tr REALLY think it was a modem, did you?\”

Q smiled to the assembled senior officers, patting Emily\’s
head, scowling as she squirmed from his clammy touch. \”It\’s
quite a story really. You see, I always wondered about the whole
parenting deal with you bipeds, whether you\’d willing raise a
child not only not of your sire, but not even of your time! So I
went back through time, looking for the perfect subject, and
found this interesting young lady. It didn\’t hurt that she had a
working knowledge of this ship and its senior staff, either. So
I blasted a duplictate of her here, and sat back. But NO, you
had to try and get her back, which wouldn\’t work at ALL. But I
didn\’t want the little cutie to DIE,\” he said, pinching her
cheek, \”So I made sure she survived – – and ended up back here.
I didn\’t implant your DNA, though – – that was just a lucky
coincidence.\”

\”What a cowinky-dink, eh, Q?\” mumbled Emily.

\”Precisely.\” he grinned, rumpling her hair. \”You know, I\’m
beginning to like your style, Emma.\”

\”Funny, I never liked yours – – specially your penchant for
appearing in people\’s beds.\”

\”Now, now… that was only Johnny and Katie here. I didn\’t
do it to EVERYONE, Emma.\”

\”Would you just get on with it, Q?\”

\”FINE, if that\’s what you want…\” sighed Q, then
continued. \”Then after watching you bond and all – – very
touching, I might add – – right out of a greeting card – – I
decided to throw Nate in the pot. He didn\’t mix well at all, so
I killed him – – sort of. It really was transporter failure, you
know. Then came the big test: a triple whammy, you might say.
First I caused a power surge, which wiped out the Doc\’s memory on
kiddie illnesses, then took some dormant illness and riled it up
in Em\’s system. Simmer until my entrance, and voila! A homemade
parenting test a la Q!\”

\”What about transportiong us here?\”

\”It wasn\’t very interesting watching Emmers just moan and
groan – – but you meeting your doubles was classic!!\” grinned Q
clapping his hands.

\”So what happens now, Q?\”

\”What do you think, Kat? You FAILED, honey! You were
unable to take care of Em or figure a way back to your ship, so
you lose!\”

Q waited for the shock to register on their faces, then
grabbed Emily wrist and said, \”So I am taking custody of Cadet
Emily Kathryn Friedman away from you and transferring sole
custody to ME… she will become MY ward, and a member of the
Continum.\”

Emily wrenched her hand from Q\’s snapping, \”What if I
refuse?\”

\”You can\’t sweetie – – that\’s the beauty of being Q!\” he
smirked, grabbing Emily, who turned wide, haunted eyes on the
senior staff as she and Q winked out of existence with a flash of
white light.

-7-

As quickly and without warning as she had entered their
lives, Emily disappeared, leaving behind a legacy very few went
untouched by.

Harry and B\’Elanna had each other to help ease their
friend\’s disappearance, and managed to go on, though not without
their share of sadness, as did Neelix and Kes. On the other
hand, Tom Paris locked himself in Sandrine\’s with replicated
whisky for days, drinking himself into oblivion, half-convincing
himself she would return. Tuvok had wanted to go in there and
force him back to the conn, but Chakotay had forbade it, not so
much because he had grown any closer to the cocky pilot, but
because he emphathized painfully with the younger man\’s sorrow.

Janeway had taken it well, too well, as the crew thought
when they saw her composed stride and set face, same as ever.
Very few noticed she did not laugh or smile, and only one other
had seen her when she slipped into her quarters late at night,
her soft sobs cutting the stillness of the night, trying
vailiantly to understand why and coming up with no answer.

But even as Chakotay tried to comfort her in her grief, he
felt like it was a farce, especially when he tried to speak with
his spirit guide, who retreated to a proper distance from the
deep sadness in his mind. He couldn\’t even look at his own face,
remembering that his daughter was gods-know-where, wearing the
same tattoo on her dark oval face, the face that had looked at
him with such fear as she was consumed by white spirit fire,
while he sat by, unable to stop it.

Life on the Voyager went on, but without the youthful
laughter ringing down the corridor to the senior officer\’s
quarters – – without any laughter at all for the most part – –
without the small familial scenes, without the curious little
face popping up anywhere and everywhere, without Emily
babysitting the little Wildman baby in the holodeck, without any
teenage influence at all – – it wasn\’t until it was gone that
they realized how special and intregral it was.

To be sure, Gabriel was still there, but with Emily\’s
disappearance, everything lost its sparkle.

-8-

A month later, it was as if she had never come. The pain
still lingered, but they had learned to laugh again, and had
delved into their exploration of the Delta Quadrant with a new
vigor.

-9-

\”Her memory has not been wiped, Commander – – she has
merely been given the power to supress all emotions much the same
way Mr. Tuvok does – – only better.\” He smiled maliciously at
where Janeway and Chakotay stood side by side, ramrod stiff.
\”You see Kathy, she recognizes you and Chuck, but she feels no
emotions for either of you whatsoever.\” Q laughed, grabbing the
back of Emily\’s head with one thin hand and moving it from side
to side, back and forth. \”She feels no anger, no annoyance, no
anything.\”

Q turned to Emily, patting her head with could only be
called affection by a huge leap of the imagination. \”OK,
sweetie, this is how it is. You can either be part of the
Continuum or stay here on the Voyager. You have 24 hours to
decide. See ya later, honey.\”

He patted her on the cheek and disappeared. Janeway walked
over and hugged the girl. She was passed from one person to
another, but her expressionless face never changed.

-10-

After hours of effort, Chakotay shook his head sorrowfully,
waving Emily off to her room. After she left, he groaned,
flopping himself bodily onto the sofa wearily. \”It\’s no use. I
can\’t make a dent. I might as well be talking to a rock.\”

Janeway yawned from her station in a nearby chair. \”Well,
Tom always said Emily had your hard head.\”

She immediately repented when she saw the pained look on
Chakotay\’s face. Her tired smile faded into an air of concern.
She walked over to where he stared into space, laying a gentle
hand on his arm. He turned away from the window, laying the hand
that had been at his forehead on top of hers, smiling briefly as
he saw the glint of gold on her finger, but his face settled back
into his somber expression almost immediately.

-11-

Q disappeared in a flash of light, the sudden disappearance
of the force that was holding the semi-concious girl up crumpling
her like a rag doll. Her guardians rushed over the her, fearing
the worst Chakotay looked at Janeway, looking a little less
worried. \”She has a pulse, at least.\” Emily groaned in the two
officer\’s grasp, her eyes fluttering open, looking back and forth
between the two almost surreal faces hunched over hers. Chakotay
smiled concernedly. \”How do you feel, Emily?\”

Emily looked at Chakotay with a blank expression for the
merest second, then burst into a wry smile, one lopsided dimple
restoring her usual rakish look. \”With my hands.\”

Chakotay hugged her, helping her to her feet slowly.
\”That\’s my girl.\”



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Arcades Ambo

************************************************************

\”Arcades Ambo\”

************************************************************

Voyager Story VI

by Emmy Odd @aol.com

************************************************************

\”Captain?\” Chakotay strode into Captain Janeway\’s
quarters, smiling at the disheveled woman chasing a pretty puppy
around the room. Finally, grasping the squirming dog in her
arms, she lifted her head, and Chakotay grinned again, saying,
\”It seems that your protege isn\’t just your protege anymore. She
overheard B\’Ellana and Harry Kim talking about their \’animal
guides\’ and she began pestering me to help her find her animal
guide, too.\”

Janeway smiled at the thought of Clare doggedly annoying
Chakotay to get her way. The girl had only been on Voyager as
Jr. Ensign for a few months, but she had well earned her place,
not only on Voyager, but in the Captain\’s heart. Even Tom Paris,
whom she had showed up, alibet unintentionally, had become very
close to the youngest crew member. She smiled through a veil of
tawny hair. \”And I suppose you want me to ask her not to pester
you anymore, Chakotay?\”

Chakotay grinned at Janeway. \”Actually, quite the
opposite. I wish to request the use of a runabout for a few
hours tommorow, and I wish to invite you along as well, since you
never got to talk to your animal guide, Kathryn.\”

\”Of course, Chakotay, it\’s a wonderful idea. We both need
a break.\”

\”So permission is granted?\”

Janeway released the growling puppy as she stood up
regally. \”Yes, Chakotay, it\’s a date.\”

************************************************************

The next day, as Voyager made repairs while they orbited
above a gaseous M-class planet, the two commanding officers, and
an exubrant young Jr. Ensign entered the docking station. In
another place, another time, it could have been a family outing.

The group, with Tom Paris as their pilot, boarded the
runabout, Janeway shouting back orders to Tuvok about anything
and everything until a hand clamped over her mouth mid-command
and pulled into the runabout. A second later, a grinning
Chakotay stuck his head out. \”Don\’t worry Tuvok, the Captain
just needs a day off. We\’ll be back in a few hours.\” \”I never
worry…\” said Tuvok, but the airlock had closed before he had a
chance to finish his highly logical retort.

Back in the runabout, Janeway eyed Chakotay. \”Commander,
that was highly irregular.\”

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. \”If I had been \’regular,\’
Captain, then we\’d still be out there waiting for Tuvok to go
crazy… which, even for a Vulcan wouldn\’t be much longer.\”

Janeway eyed Chakotay, then smiled. \”Thank you, Commander.
I guess I just am too stressed, and I do need a vacation since
that last Kazon attack. Who\’d have thought that that little
Kazon would try to kill you again…?\”

Janeway\’s face clouded again, and Chakotay rested a hand on
her shoulder. \”I\’ll be a \’wrinkled old man\’ yet, Captain, Kazon
or no Kazon.\”

Clare dropped to sit at her commanding officer\’s knees,
gazing up impishly at the two. \”Enough about aging and death,
Commander! What about my animal guide?!?\”

They looked down at the young Jr. Ensign, her nose
scrunched up and a mock pout distorting her pretty mouth. They
looked at each other, and laughed. Clare\’s smirk faded to
astonishment. The Captain and the Commander smiled, but never
actually LAUGH. To have these… idols of hers beside themselves
with laughter…

Suddenly the Commander realized Clare wasn\’t laughing, and
he nudged Janeway. Clare\’s eyes widened and they blushed.
\”Sorry Clare, you just… well…\” For once Janeway was at a
loss for words.

Clare rested her head on Janeway\’s knees and broke into a
sweet smile. \”No problem, Captain. Even senior officers need to
laugh a little. Now let\’s get me an animal guide, Commander.\”

Janeway turned to Tom Paris. \”You heard her, Tom. Let\’s
get going.\”

\”Yes, Captain.\”

As they left the docking station, Harry Kim turned to Tuvok
while stationed on the Bridge. \”Sir, which runabout did the
Captain take?\”

Tuvok turned sharply to Kim. \”The Captain took the
runabout stationed in Docking Station 2.\”

Harry\’s eyes widened. \”Sir, that runabout was the one
B\’Elanna was configuring to increase efficiency. The warp
necells weren\’t done yet. It may not be safe to pilot.\”

Tuvok remained impassive. \”The logical solution is to
tractor the runabout in before it\’s out of range. Ensign, do
so.\”

************************************************************

Just then, all the eyes on the runabout were closed as
Chakotay helped the Captain and Clare find their animal guide.
\”Close your eyes… imagine yourself in the place where you were
at the most peace of your life…\” murmured Chakotay, holding
their hands. Janeway squeezed his hand, breathing deeply. She
was almost there…

************************************************************

\”Initiate tractor now.\” ordered Tuvok.

************************************************************

A flash of light flooded the runabout, knocking them to the
ground.

************************************************************

Harry swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat. \”Sir,
the runabout just DISAPPEARED…\”

************************************************************

Back on Voyager, Tuvok was initiating long range scans when
a dry voice cut through the worried hubbub. \”Sick Bay to
Bridge.\”

Tuvok turned to Kim. \”Who initiated your program, Doctor?\”

\”I do not know, but I do know you should come down here.\”
The Doctor\’s voice wavered slightly.

Harry and Tuvok rushed to the Sick Bay (Or as fast as a
non-committal Vulcan can walk), where they beheld an astonishing
sight.

************************************************************

Chakotay, Janeway, Clare, and Tom lay in biobeds before
them. \”I found them in here when I was activated. Is there an
emergency?\”

\”Now.\” Tuvok pronounced blandly. \”What\’s wrong with them,
Doctor?\”

\”They appear to be comatose, but their brain activity is as
high as if they were at their posts. Odd.\”

The hologram and the Vulcan turned to Harry, who was
engrossed with his two friends lying on the biobeds before him.
Suddenly aware of the two, Kim looked up, blushing.

\”Mr. Kim, you are assigned to watch over Sick Bay.\” the
Doctor tried to interject, but Tuvok continued, \”Computer, end
Emergency Medical Hologram.\”

Harry, dazed and concerned, heard only \”Illogical,\” and \”I
will leave.\” His eyes never left his friends, whose faces did
not respond to the salty water falling on their faces.

************************************************************

Chakotay\’s eyes opened on a beautiful face smiling warmly
over him, unlike where his soul often walked with his animal
guide. The face hung in a fog, which gradually turned into an
image of Janeway. \”Ka…Kathryn…\” he whispered. He sat up,
finding himself on a beautiful, misty seascape, with a stunning
sunset shrouding the breathtaking scene with brilliant light and
shadow.

Janeway looked around inscrutably. \”Whatever just
happened, we\’re here.\”

\”You say like that\’s a bad thing.\” said Chakotay, stroking
her cheek as he edged closer.

************************************************************

Clare\’s eyes fluttered, blinking a sleepy haze from them,
and the slim hand went up to her forehead. She was suddenly
keenly aware of the Doctor, Tom, and Harry\’s eyes on her.
\”Harry,\” she whispered happily.

Harry smiled at Clare. \”Yes, Clare, I\’ve been here since
you beamed on board. Tom woke up a few minutes ago, but the
Captain and the Commander are still unconcious.\”

\”What happened?\” said Clare, still dazed.

The Doctor cleared his throat. \”We were hoping you could
tell us. All Paris could tell us was that the tractor beam
seemed to cause a reaction with the runabout, which caused…\”

\”… a bright light… \” murmured Clare, \”I opened my eyes
to see what happened. Tom was unconscious, and Captain Janeway
and Commander Chakotay were sitting up. Their eyes were closed,
but they were conscious.\”

The Doctor scanned Janeway and Chakotay again. \”Their
brain waves are normal, but they seem to be in a sort of comatose
state that you and Tom didn\’t enter. Since the two of you were
not contacting your \’animal guides,\’ it would appear that somehow
you were relatively immune to the explosion.

\”But how do we wake them up?\” Harry said.

The Doctor looked down. \”I don\’t know.\”

The combined, fearful gaze of all present fell on the two
very still commanding officers.

************************************************************

Janeway craned her neck around, taking the dream-like
landscape in. Dispite the romantic atmosphere, Janeway had the
distinct feeling that something was horribly wrong. Every time
Chakotay neared her, she pulled away to inspect a clod of earth
or scan the sky for life. She desprately wished for her
tricorder. She tapped her comm badge furiously, yelling,
\”Janeway to Bridge! Janeway to anyone! Can anyone hear me?!?\”
Deafening silence echoed through the landscape. She trembled,
suddenly afraid.

Chakotay hugged Janeway\’s shaking shoulders protectively.
Janeway\’s whole body racked with utter helplessness. It was all
Chakotay could do not to lose it as well. He smoothed her flyway
hair, saying thickly, \”They\’ll find us, wherever we are.\”

Janeway pulled her head up, strengthed by Chakotay\’s touch.
\”If they don\’t find us, we\’ll have to find them.\” she said
resolutely. The sparkle flamed up in her eyes as she jumped up.
\”I\’m going to look for a way out of here.\”

She started to climb up the sandy cliff, but Chakotay held
her foot in his hand. She stared down at his resolute face.
\”Wait. I\’m going with you.\” he said, releasing her foot and
scrambling nimbly up beside her.

************************************************************

They climbed about fifty meters, up to a rocky ledge that
jutted out of the sheer rock face. Janeway was the first to
reach the ledge, pulling her legs onto the small protrusion as
her sudden heavy step pushed a torrent of rocks down. She gently
stuck her head out to see where Chakotay was, to find him
grasping desprately onto a branch. From the horrific wounds on
his arm and leg, it was clear he couldn\’t pull himself up to
where she sat. Janeway lay on her stomach, reaching for
Chakotay, unable to quite reach him. Chakotay tried to will his
limp arm to grasp hers, but he couldn\’t. Janeway looked into
Chakotay\’s eyes, seeing the fear in his eyes. Edging out
further, she grabbed his good wrist, saying, \”Trust me.\”

Chakotay could see the terror in her eyes. He nodded, and
let go of the branch.

Janeway\’s arm strained under the weight, as if to wrench
her arm from her socket. She threw her weight backwards, pulling
Chakotay up and onto the ledge beside her. She rubbed her sore
shoulder, fearful of what she would see when she turned around.
She still clung to the Commander\’s hand as she turned to… see
what there was to be see. She turned, and saw the wincing, but
alive, form of Chakotay. Her heart filled joyfully as she kissed
his face, unheeding of the blood and dirt covering it.

Chakotay stirred, opening his eyes disbeliveingly, unable
to figure out why he wasn\’t crushed on the rocks. He turned his
head stiffly, finding Janeway, face smeared with dirt and
blood… HIS blood, hurriedly attempting to clean his wounds,
seemingly with her mouth. He tried to sit up, but his arm
wouldn\’t support his wieght. He tried the other, and struggled
to an upright position. Janeway looked up from where she was
using her sleeve to clean the gaping wound on his leg. She wiped
the blood from her face, pushing it into her hair. Janeway tried
to smile, but the fear and pain were too great. She covered her
face in her hands, the saltwater and mud leaking through her
fingers grotesquely. Chakotay pulled her into his arms as she
moaned, \”I might have lost you, what if I let go…?\”

Chakotay rocked Janeway, the protective instinct, although
totally unecessary, strong. He kissed her hair, trying to soothe
her frazzled nerves, as well as his own. \”Talk about the blind
leading the blind,\” thought Chakotay, smoothing her tousled hair.
\”I\’m here, Kathryn. I\’m not going anywhere for a long time.\”

Janeway lifted her head from his chest. \”But you\’re hurt,
Chakotay, and there isn\’t anything to clean it. You can\’t move
from this ledge. We\’re stuck.\”

Chakotay shook his head. \”I can\’t move, Kathryn, but you
can.\”

\”Even if there was somewhere else to go, I wouldn\’t leave
you. I\’m not taking that risk.\” Janeway said firmly, staring
into his eyes.

Chakotay smiled into her eyes. \”Your loyalty is what I
love about you, Kathryn.\” he said, stroking her face. Janeway
looked slightly startled. They\’d said so much in guestures and
innuendos, but they\’d never actually verbalized their feelings
for each other much. It was almost as if the fact was blurred
into oblivion, until their two paths had converged into a
comfortable friendliness that was occasionally sprinkled with
romantic kisses and flowers. She had an inkling of the reason
behind the rift, only rarely bridged; for every time Janeway had
ever been alone anywhere with Chakotay, a kind of shadowy
remembrance of the evil Cardassian clouded the moment as quickly
as it had come. Janeway had always had the unpleasant sensation
that he feared that someday she would betray him, too, that
increased every time they became a little closer to home. She
was afraid that this was only the result of the tremendous loss
of blood, and it was just another moment that would vanish when
he regained his senses. Dispite this, she clung to every word he
said, hoping someday he would truly mean it.

************************************************************

B\’Elanna burst in on the vigil the senior staff held in
Sick Bay. \”Good news! I think if we recreate the accident in
the holodeck, it could jolt them back into conciousness.\”

Tuvok rose from where he had positioned himself by
Janeway\’s bedside. \”There must be some sort of risk involved.\”

\”If it doesn\’t work, we may lose them forever. And we\’ll
lose warp power for a few hours.\”

Tuvok pondered over the logistics of the situation.
Janeway\’s hand grasped her sheet, and Tuvok, normally unswayed by
emotion, said, \”Do it,\” as a tear rolled down his cheek.

************************************************************

Using the undamaged sensor logs, the ingenious Torres made
an exact replica of the accident. Clare and Tom helped transport
the lifeless forms of the commanding officers into the Holodeck,
praying as they left. Torres breathed deeply, punched a few
buttons to activate the program, then collapsed ridgidly, afraid,
into Harry\’s waiting arms.

************************************************************

\”You don\’t, you know.\” said Janeway, attempting to mask the
sorrow in her voice with sterness, and failing utterly.

\”What do you mean, Kathryn?\”

\”You damn well know what I mean, Chakotay!\” she snapped
bitterly. \”No matter how hard you try, you\’ll never forget what
Seska did to you, and so I\’ll pay for the rest of my life for
what she did! I\’ll sit next to you on this ship until I die and
never hear your voice without thinking of Seska somewhere in the
back of my mind! I… love you, but you\’ll never really love me
because you\’re afraid that someday I\’ll have to turn you in to
the Federation!\”

Chakotay looked out onto the ever-present sunset blazing
across this sky he did not know. The floodgates of his memory
opened, and the painful tides of recollection washed over him
like salt in his wounds. The few sweet memories were drowned by
the bitter ones that came attached to them. He wished he could
throw himself into the endless blue of the sea below, and purify
himself; be born again. But he could not, and so he had to hold
everyone, everything, at arm\’s length. But sometimes his arm
slipped, and then he crumpled, like when he… trusted Seska.
But he always pulled his arm back into place, and he vowed then
it would never go slack again. He looked at Janeway, unable to
speak of how wrong she was, because he could not honestly tell
her that Seska had had no effect on him.

Suddenly, thunderheads grew, but no rain fell. Almost as
if his wish had been answered, a bolt of lightning struck the
rock they sat on, splitting it apart. As they fell swiftly
towards the rocks below, Chakotay reached his hand towards
Janeway, only able to yell, \”I do love you, Kathryn!\” before a
bright light burst into their eyes.

************************************************************

The Commander sat up, finding himself in a gridded
holodeck. Chakotay looked at his arm and leg, either
miraculously healed or never cut. He turned to Janeway, who
stirred on the cold floor. She blinked her eyes open,
whispering, \”Do you remember what I remember?\”

Chakotay looked into her eyes. Janeway saw no cloud behind
them now. He smiled. \”And I\’ll never forget it.\”

At that oppertune time, a crowd of eager, joyful people
swirled around the weak leaders, hugging and crying. B\’Elanna
sank to her knees, overcome with joy.

************************************************************

Janeway and Chakotay spent their recuperation, as well as
afterwards, apart; seldom seeing each other, and never alone.
This went on for several weeks, until Chakotay couldn\’t take it
anymore. He surprised her in her Ready Room a month later, while
she went over back logs she hadn\’t had time to finish before.
She nodded to a seat far from her desk, asking, \”What can I do
for you, Commander?\”

Chakotay turned the computer around, shutting it off. He
smiled at her, but she did not return the smile. \”Forgive me.\”
he said simply.

\”I don\’t understand, Commander.\”

\”I\’ve acted badly, Kathryn. I didn\’t mean to, but I did.
I was afraid… I don\’t quite know what I was afraid of anymore,
but seeing you nearly die to save me, then thinking you might die
hating me, was too unbearable to speak of. I really do love you,
Kathryn.\”

Chakotay turned towards the door, but Janeway stood up,
eyes shining with emotion, an unuttered kiss on her lips.
\”That\’s all you ever needed to say, Chakotay.\”

Chakotay smiled as he left the room. He paused after the
doors closed, smiled again, and walked down the corridor with a
new spring in his step.

************************************************************

Fin

************************************************************

Comments are appreciated

************************************************************

All characters and the Star Trek Voyager name, except for Clare
Edwards, belong to the owners of the copyrights thereof,
Paramount, UPN, ect. This story is for entertainment purposes
only, and distribution is encouraged (keep my name on it,
though!).

************************************************************

In this series:

Voyager I: Prot‚g‚
Voyager II: D‚tente
Voyager III: Amantium Irae
Voyager IV: Puppy Love
Voyager V: Parti Pris
Voyager VI: Arcades Ambo

************************************************************
Coming Soon: Voyager Story VII, \”Expose\”
************************************************************

Posted in Voyager | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Parti Pris

************************************************************

\”Parti Pris\”

************************************************************

Voyager Story V

by Emmy Odd

************************************************************

Janeway stretched luxuriously before the blazing fire. The
as-yet unnamed Captain\’s dog, temporarily named Ultur, for the
planet he came from, basked in the fire\’s glow as well. Janeway
leaned back on Chakotay, looking even more noble by firelight.
He opened his mouth to say… \”Bridge to Captain Janeway.\”
Janeway shook her head as she sat up in bed, her peaceful dream
ruined; the inspiration for the dream the destroyer of it.
Janeway, tapping her ever-present comm badge, said groggily,
\”Yes, Commander?\”

Chakotay smiled to himself, saying, \”Sorry to wake you,
Captain, but I thought you\’d be interested that we\’ve come across
another populated planet.\”

\”Kazon?\”

\”No, there are few visible ships, and those appear to be
trade ships. Apparently this planet has had warp technology for
some time.\”

\”No warships? Can we hail them?\”

\”Not yet, Captain. Their communications seem to be
restricted to a lower orbit than we are in. I wanted to wait
until you were on the Bridge to hail them in such proximity.\”

Janeway smiled at his… chivalry. \”I\’m on my way,
Commander.\”

************************************************************

As Janeway stepped onto the Bridge, Harry announced,
\”They\’re resonding to our hail, Captain.\”

\”On screen.\” Before their eyes was an astonishing sight.
A beautiful woman dressed in white stood before them. She had an
exquisitely tinted face and large brown eyes. It was so bright
in the room around her that it seemed but an effulgence around
her head. She smiled serenely at the Captain, or rather, behind
the Captain, where Chakotay stood.

A placid, lilting voice issued from her mouth. \”Welcome to
the home world of the Puerilians. I am Ehrrmetika, leader of the
Chutzzphah Order. Who are you and where do you hearken from?\”

Janeway\’s deep, sonorous voice rolled over her words. \”I
am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. We are from
the Alpha Quadrant, namely, Earth. She glanced at Chakotay.
\”Well, most of us. We are searching for a way home from this
quadrant, as well as supplies.\”

The woman smiled. \”You are welcome to come down to
Puerilia and stay awhile, Captain. Best wishes on your journey.\”
She smiled again at Chakotay, and her face disappeared, and the
blue-green planet appeared once more.

************************************************************

Chakotay, the Captain, and Kes beamed down in the center of
a sunny square. The paths beneath their feet were paved in
minute mosaics. Lush flowers bloomed everywhere. Men and women,
all dressed in gowns and tunics of white and pastels. They
stood, dazed by the beauty of this place, until a young, slim
girl dressed in flowing pastels rushed over with dozens of pale
flowers in her arms. She took one look at them, and wreathed
Kes\’s head with the garlands, bowing low before her. \”Welcome,
Captain Janeway, to Puerilia.\”

Kes stood mutely, unable to speak. Finally Janeway calmed
her giddy spirits, and said, \”I\’m sorry, miss. But I\’m Captain
Janeway.\”

The girl stood, unable to grasp this for some reason. She
sputtered, \”I can get more flowers…\”

Janeway shook her head. \”That\’s not necessary. We\’d
prefer just to be led to your leader, Ehrrmetika. We spoke to
her earlier.\”

The girl laughed shrilly. \”Ehrrmetika is wise, but she
could never be our leader. Peri Bijou is our empress.\”

Janeway was more puzzled than ever. Most of the
civilizations with warp-technology didn\’t have monarchies. And
why did they think it strange that Janeway was their Captain?
But she only smiled and said, \”Please escort us to Peri Bijou,
then, miss.\”

But as the girl skipped toward their destination, the
strange questions plauged her again.

************************************************************

Janeway and the others were led into a tiled room with
large expanses of murals and windows. The murals depicted
beautiful women and girls in white holding scepters as they stood
on a large expanse of land. They stared st the murals until a
gentle breath of air announced another\’s presence. A stunningly
beautiful flaxen-haired lady dressed in white and silver stood
before them, guesturing them to sit. Janeway extended her hand,
smiling. \”Hello, I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation
Starship Enterprise.\”

The pretty forehead puckered. \”I was expecting someone…
\” she shook her head. \”Never mind, Captain. Now, why do you
wish to visit our fair planet?\”

Janeway smiled tightly. \”For supplies, as well as rest and
relaxation. It\’s been a long time since we have been able to
have some shore leave.\”

\”Then you\’re quite welcome here. But it would set me at
ease if you wore our garb while you are here… it would put my
people at ease.\”

\”I don\’t know…\”

The doors opened, and a Herculean youth barged in, carrying
unidentifiable clothes in pastel colors. \”Here are your clothes.
You can change in the adjoining rooms, and we can discuss your
facsinating culture over dinner.\”

They looked at each other, astonished, as they were ushered
into seprate rooms.

************************************************************

Chakotay stepped into Janeway\’s dressing room, where he
found Kes combing Janeway\’s russet hair into place. The two
women turned. Kes, dressed in a soft pink gown, slipped into the
next room shyly. Janeway blushed, lifting her head in feminine
pride, blue eyes beaming alluringly. Chakotay eyed the soft
folds of the pale blue gown, belted with silver, that Janeway
wore, and rather well, as he instantly noted. Janeway surveyed
the well-cut white linen tunic and the soft grey boots, pants,
and cloak he was garbed in, and thought that the new clothes
would be a welcome change for the crew, however asthetic.
Chakotay cleared his throat under her scruntizing gaze,
murmuring, \”According to the Empress\’s valet, dinner will be
served soon.\”

Janeway stood, pulling a grey plush cloak over her head.
\”I\’ll get Kes, and we\’ll be on our way.\”

Chakotay grasped her hand for a split second, pulling her
close, and kissing her delicately, before releasing her to find
Kes.

************************************************************

The Empress and her guests occupied the end of a kilometer-
long banquet table. Janeway smiled. \”Finally, some decent food
for a change!\” she breathed to her first officer and the young
Ocampa.

\”Hear hear!\” muttered Chakotay. But the grin vanished from
his face as he saw the watery liquid placed before him. He
looked up at the veiled servant. \”What\’s this?\” he asked.

The girl only murmured softly, and the Empress cut in
smoothly, \”It\’s the standard food here. It helps us become good
leaders.\”

Janeway raised an eyebrow. \”How, Empress?\”

\”By keeping us slim and beautiful, dear Captain Janeway.\”
she tittered.

Janeway only ate her soup in stony silence, as the Empress
pratted on blithely for the rest of the evening, through dinner,
tea (No coffee, thought Janeway bitterly), and even as she
escorted them to their chambers. Janeway was still morose,
staring angrily at the sky, when Chakotay walked into her chamber
late that night. Dispite her sulleness, she looked even more
ravishing, cloaked in a velvety robe, which hinted at the silky
gown beneath. She started when Chakotay touched her shoulder
anxiously. \”What\’s wrong, Kathryn?\” he crooned worriedly.

She leaned her head on his chest, sighing, \”I can\’t belive
that Empress implying you have to be beautiful to be a good
leader!\”

Chakotay smiled at the worn face resting just below his.
\”No, you don\’t, but it helps your first officer\’s morale if you
are,\” he whispered wickedly.

He was thanked for his brown-nosing by a mild slap to his
cheek. \”And have you noticed all the women are blond and
perfect, as if they\’ve been… bred that way?\”

Chakotay stroked her brunette locks absently. \”Vaugely,\”
eyes only for his Captain.

Janeway sat up, looking at the skyscape below them. She
pointed a finger at a dark blot in the skyline. \”See? I bet
that\’s were we\’ll find the \”imperfect\” citizens of Puerilia,
Chakotay.\” she said, fire gleaming in her azure eyes.

\”Must we find them, if they even exist? For all we know
they\’re all perfect, and that\’s only a sleepy part of town.\”

Janeway shook her head. \”With no streetlights? I doubt
it, Chakotay. We\’ll go back to Voyager tommorow briefly, then go
exploring.\”

Janeway smoothed Chakotay\’s cheek affectionately, drawing
his lips to hers. Her smile quirked the creases of her lips,
blossoming until the dazzle of her white teeth glittered in the
moonlight. She slipped into her bed as Chakotay walked out of
the room, shaking his head.

************************************************************

Tuvok raised an eyebrow as he and Harry, along with Clare,
watched Janeway and the others transported onto Voyager, still in
their Puerilian garb. Clare laughed heartily, running into
Janeway\’s arms. \”What odd clothes they wear, Captain!\” she
cried, fingering the folds of Janeway\’s sleeves. She rubbed it
against her cheek. \”But it is pretty fabric, though.\”

\”Well, when we go down to Puerilia, the entire crew will be
outfitted in native dress, by request of the Empress.\” smiled
Janeway.

\”Empress?!? How funny!\” giggled Clare, sobering when she
saw Janeway\’s face.

\”She is rather boring, I\’m afraid.\” Janeway said tightly,
clenching her fists. She spun around, the gown swirling around
her as she exited the Transporter Room.

Chakotay coughed. \”It\’s a long story. I\’ll explain
later…\” he said quickly as he followed Janeway out, his own
cloak flapping.

************************************************************

Later that day, an announcement was issued: All interested
in taking shore leave were welcomed by the Puerilians, as long as
they wore the native dress, provided when they beamed down.
Clare, Tom, B\’Elanna, and Harry joined the milling throng in the
Transporter Room. The waves of ensigns and lieutenants parted
before the senior officers, who stepped on the transporter. A
few seconds later, a slim girl approached them, leading them into
two small rooms, and handing them clothes. B\’Elanna snorted,
tugging at the plush purple-grey dress edged in gold with
contempt. Seconds later, Clare tripped out of the room in a
sunny gold gown, with a still brighter smile on her face. \”Why
the stormy face, Lieutenant?\” laughed Clare.

B\’Elanna guestured violently at her dress. \”This… thing
is cumbersome! Why do we have to wear these things??\”

Clare smoothed the wrinkles from B\’Elanna\’s sleeves. \”To
blend in, Lieutenant. Besides, you wouldn\’t want to wear your
uniform in front of Harry and Tom, with so many pretty girls
around.\” Clare murmured devilishly.

B\’Elanna looked at Clare, and what would have happened to
her had Harry not made his entrance then is better left to the
imagination. Needless to say, Clare made haste to put Harry
between her and the half-Klingon. Harry turned around, confused,
and pulled at the cotton tunic he wore, unaccustomed to civilian
clothes after so many months without them. He stared at
B\’Elanna, amazed. She intercepted the look, and thundered
ominously. \”Put your eyes back in your head, Harry.\”

Clare stifled a laugh from her sanctuary behind Harry. She
whispered, \”She hates the dress, Harry. Don\’t even mention it.\”

Harry heeded her advice, but it was too little too late for
poor Tom Paris, who came in at that inoppertune moment, beaming,
\”B\’Elanna! Purple is a wonderful color on you!\” To describe the
hatred in her eyes would be like trying to describe a banshee\’s
wail; suffice to say that it was amazing Tom survived with little
more than a few rents in his tunic. Luckily, he had ducked most
of B\’Elanna\’s worst blows. As she stalked out, Clare laughed,
\”We\’ll catch up with her later.\”

************************************************************

Janeway donned her Puerilian dress, pocketing her tricorder
and pinning her comm badge on. She stepped on the transporter
and soon found herself on the surface. Bypassing the girls
ushering crewmen into dressing rooms, she hid her face in the
heavy cloak as she made her way down the street. The street
curved suddenly, and Janeway found herself in a strange, rundown
part of the city. The signs were so faded she couldn\’t decypher
them. A tall stone, like the others marking points in the city,
was so covered in moss and ivy that reading it was impossible.
Janeway looked around, taking in everything around her, except
the robed figure that crept up behind her, muffling her screams
as she was dragged into the shadows.

************************************************************

Janeway stood face to face with her assaulter, and scowled,
confused, at the grinning man before her, his dark mantle
obscuring his familiar tattoo. \”Chakotay!\” she growled hoarsely,
pushing the hood of his cloak to his shoulder. He shushed her,
handing her a dark brown cloak. \”Here,\” he said, pulling off the
light gray shawl she wore, \”You\’ll blend in if you wear this.\”
She pulled on the long cloak, fastening the buttons to shroud her
soft blue of her opulent chemise. The drab, dun-color of the
robe seemed to compliment her refined face, as a rustic frame
would surrounding a Monet. But Chakotay could muse for but a
second on her extrordinary face, for Janeway\’s interest was
piqued. \”I knew these people had a secret! What\’s going on?\”
she asked, clenching her fists tightly, the color coming to her
cheeks.

Chakotay looked down haggardly. \”I haven\’t looked around
much, but it does seem as if this quarter of their city is
rundown, almost as if the officials have abandoned it. There are
no government buildings, no libraries, no schools. I haven\’t
seen any people yet, it\’s like a ghost town.\”

Janeway frowned. \”We must figure out what caused this.\”

A thin, dark, female hand clutched Janeway\’s outstretched
arm, and croaked feebly, \”If you must know what they have done to
us, follow me.\” She released Janeway\’s arm, yanking her around.
Her dark, guant figure retreated, beckoning the two to follow her
down a shadowy, dank alley.

************************************************************

They followed the mysterious figure as she passed decaying
stucco houses and tumbledown makeshift shantys. Janeway got the
impression they had been transported back to Ancient Earth,
London, at the time of the Industrial Revolution. With their
guide\’s presence known, faces began to emerge from the darkness.
Women clutching frightened children, tall, bearded men scavenging
with worn sacks; they all stared at the two as they followed one
of their people.
Finally, they entered a gloomy, crumbling stonework edifice
that cringed at their every footstep. They were led down a worn,
bare hall, to an astonishing sight. The room they stood in was
warm and snug, its floors covered with plush carpeting, it\’s
walls hung with tapestries. A large wing chair and a long chaise
sat before a blazing fire, the only light in this section of the
town.

A slim, tremulous hand extended from the chair, guesturing
to them, patting the chaise beside it. Janeway and Chakotay sat
together on the chaise, before a beautiful old woman, her snowy
hair, the only indication of advanced age, swept from her
delicate, unlined features grandly. She sat up authoritatively
in her chair, commanding their respect and attention in a
graceful move of her hand. \”Kathryn will look like that at
ninety,\” Chakotay thought dreamily, looking over at the Captain.

The woman scrutinized the two carefully through her lapiz-
lazuli eyes. \”Why do you wish to know why the Puerilians have
cordoned off this dark quarter of its land?\”

Janeway leaned forward, clasping her hands in an attiude of
curiosity. \”We wondered why the skyline was dark in one place,
why there are no brunettes, and especially why they disbelived I
was the Captain of Voyager.\”

The woman smiled, showing rows of pearly teeth. She
pushed back Janeway\’s hood, stroking her shining hair. \”Because
of this, child.\” she said, gesturing to the waves of russet hair
spilling through her pale fingers. \”All Puerilians of rank and
wealth, as well as leaders, are flaxen-haired. Brunettes are
considered inferior.\”

Chakotay couldn\’t help muffling a smile at Janeway\’s furor,
dispite the horrible implications. \”But why?\” she asked.

The woman shook her head. \”Who can explain predjudice,
child? But for as long as anyone can remember, it has been so.
That is why this part of Puerilia is annexed for the non-blondes.
I, Mesaimeha, was a rich woman, married to a wealthy man on High
Puerilian Council, until a rumor that my grandmother was a
brunette ruined me. So I was banished here. I brought these
things,\” she said, waving her hand about the gorgeous room, \”with
me when I was banished here. Illiana,\” their thin, mousy guide
curtsied, \”has learned much from me, and we hope and pray for
understanding someday.\”

\”Like the old reservations.\” murmured Chakotay. \”My people
were forced to live on reservations after the Civil War in the
Ancient United States. They thought they were savages, incapable
of education. It was hundreds of years until they earned
people\’s respect.\” Chakotay fumed.

Janeway stroked his tense arm. \”You know that they were
wrong… look at you, you\’re no savage. And you\’ve always had my
respect, whether Maquis captain or Federation first officer.\”
she blushed furiously when she saw the old woman\’s face, and she
stammered, \”I\’m sorry…\”

\”No, dear. Seeing the two of you gives me hope that
someday things in Puerilia will be different.\” She stood up, and
held Janeway\’s face in her hands. \”God bless you and the ones
you love.\” she said, smiling at Chakotay, \”And good luck on your
journey.\”

She waved them out the door, and Illiana guided them back
the way they came, until they reached the edge of the alien
quarter. She smiled forebodingly at them, murmuring, \”We will
change the world!\” And then she disappeared into the darkness
silently, chilling Janeway\’s heart.

************************************************************

Clare rushed through the square like a giddy whirlwind,
eager to explore everything around her, unhindered by the flowing
skirts and clumsy sandals. She darted in and out of shops,
halting to sniff some delicate bloom, then, with a swirl of her
dress, scurrying off on another tangent. Finally, she paused and
turned around to address the two red-faced adults puffing up
behind her. \”So, ready for lunch?\”

Harry collapsed exhaustedly against a tree as Tom staggered
up to them, wheezing, \”Yes… lunch… safe… SLOW lunch…\”

Clare led the weary youths into a small cafe, pratting on
gaily until she felt an arm on her shoulder. She looked up at an
angry face looking at her and Harry, who was also in his grasp.
\”Excuse me sir, these two vagabonds were following you.\” He said
to Tom.

\”What…?\” sputtered Tom in shock.

\”What should I do about these two, sir?\” said the brawny
youth, choking Harry.

\”These are my friends. Put them down.\” said Tom stonily.

\”These… non-fair ones are your FRIENDS?!\” gasped the
youth.

\”We\’re on shore leave from Voyager. I wouldn\’t mess with
the Captain\’s ward and senior officer if I were you, Bruno.\” said
Tom coldly.

With a strange look at Clare and Harry, he released them.
Clare shivered, and Harry hugged her, afraid as she was. Clare
looked up at Harry, tears streaming down her small face. \”I want
to go home, Harry,\” she lisped weakly.

\”It\’s going to be okay.\” Harry said, near tears himself.
He hugged her shoulder again, and they walked toward the
transporter site, grieving for themselves and this cruel culture.

************************************************************

Once back on the ship, and in her uniform, Janeway made
another announcement to protect her crew: All crewmembers on
Puerilia were to beam back to Voyager immediately. Janeway
sighed, leaning back in her chair. The swish of her door opening
sent her back to her upright position. Harry led a prostrate
Clare, who now looked all of ten years old, into the Ready Room.
Clare lifted her head, and, seeing a more maternal adult in
Janeway, released her grasp on Kim and ran to her guardian,
sobbing. Harry eyed the ground. \”We had a run-in with some
villagers. She\’s been like this for awhile.\”

\”I understand, Harry. Chakotay and I had a similar…
incident on the other side of town. Don\’t worry. Once everyone
is back on board, we\’ll leave. She turned her attention back to
the sobbing girl. \”Shussh… it\’s okay… shussh…\” she
crooned, hugging her.

************************************************************

\”Everyone is back on Voyager, Captain.\” said Tuvok from his
console.

\”Good. Now let\’s…\” Janeway\’s voice was interrupted by
Tuvok\’s:

\”Captain, there\’s an incoming message from Ehrrmetika.\”

\”On screen.\”

The placid, yet bigoted face of the Puerilian captain
filled the viewscreen. \”Captain, you are hiding enemies of
Puerilian government on your ship. Release them to our custody at
once.\”

\”Excuse me, Ehrrmetika?\”

\”Empress Peri Bijou has been assasinated by the Dark Ones,
who have stowed away on your ship. I will speak with you in one
hour, Captain.\” Her cruel face vanished, and the starfield
reappeared.

Janeway looked at Chakotay, saying only, \”All senior
officers meet NOW.\”

************************************************************

A few minutes later, Janeway paced the room, running her
hands on top of her head. \”Alright, what have we found?\”

\”Captain, we\’ve two Puerilians in custody. They were
hiding in our Jeffries Tubes.\” Tuvok said.

\”Bring them in.\” Seconds later, two women were brought in
by two armed ensigns.

Janeway and Chakotay gasped as the two women lifted their
heads. It was Illiana and Mesaimeha.

************************************************************

\”Mesaimaha! What…?\” gasped Janeway.

Illiana stepped between Janeway and Mesaimaha. \”No. It\’s
my fault. I held the phaser.\”

Mesaimaha stepped forward calmly. \”Illiana, silence. No
Captain, I am just as guilty as Illiana, even if not by my hand
directly. It was for the sake of liberty we did so, and if we
must pay, so we shall.\”

Janeway looked at the noble figure before her. She was
visibly conflicted by the choice before her. She stood stone-
still as Chakotay dismissed the senior officers. \”Take the two
Puerilians to the Brig, Tuvok,\” he said authoritatively, \”I\’ll
take the Captain to her Ready Room.\”

************************************************************

Chakotay led Janeway to a couch in her Ready Room. She
stared, disbeliving, into space, murmuring, \”Why? Why?\”

\”They did what they felt was right, Kathryn. I don\’t
really belive it was, but…\”

Chakotay had leaned forward, very close to Janeway. To his
shock, she laughed in his face. \”But you DID, Chakotay. You
were a captain in an organizition that killed thousands,
Chakotay.\”

Chakotay sobered at this fact. \”I\’ve tried to forget that,
or rationalize it, but I can\’t. Every group: the Federation, the
Klingons, the Cardassians, as well as the Maquis, does. The
evils we commit are forgotten or covered up as compared to that
of the enemy. You can\’t rationalize war, not when you\’re part of
it. But this isn\’t just about our beliefs, Kathryn, it\’s also
the Prime Directive. If we refuse to hand over the two, it will
not only lead Puerilia and ourselves into a battle neither can
win, it will be forcing our values onto a culture that doesn\’t
understand them.\”

\”But we might be pushing back equality for centuries,
Chakotay!\” Janeway cried.

\”They don\’t understand equality yet, Kathryn. It would be
like telling you that suicide after sixty is the only way to have
a perfect society. Maybe it might, but you couldn\’t concieve
such an idea. We can\’t change them in a day, Kathryn, and I fear
what might happen if we try.\”

Janeway tried to smile. \”Thank you, Chakotay. You told me
what my head has been trying to for the past half-hour.\”

He kissed her hand seductively, smiling. \”That\’s what I\’m
here for: to read your head and your heart, and not to confuse
the two.\”

************************************************************

And so Illiana and Mesaimaha were led by Janeway and
Chakotay to the Transporter Room, to face their fate. Mesaimaha
held her head up as she stepped onto the transporter, facing an
almost certain death with the swan-like grace that radiated
around her. Whatever standards of beauty the misguided
Puerilians held, they were fools not to consider her so, or for
that matter, the woman who somberly wished her well ironically.

\”I\’m sorry I have to do this, Mesaimaha…\” she said
softly.

She smiled benificantly at Janeway. \”You were wise to do
this, Captain, however the concequences. Gods bless you, and you
as well, handsome Commander.\” She bent to kiss Janeway\’s
forehead, whispering, \”Value this treasure, this soulmate. Keep
him near your heart.\”

Janeway turned to look at Chakotay, who had now bent to
speak to Tuvok behind the console. She felt a strange flutter in
her heart as she grasped the woman\’s words. She smiled
whimsically. \”Don\’t worry, I will.\”

Illiana, however, looked wrathfully at Janeway. \”My people
shall not forget this, Captain! I shall be avenged!\” Janeway
nodded to Tuvok, and the two women disappeared in a strand of
blue plasma.

Janeway looked up at Chakotay, suddenly very tired, as they
walked out of the Transporter Room, arms entwined. \”Let\’s get
out of here, Commander.\”

************************************************************

Tom Paris found Clare in a dark, silent Sandrine\’s, staring
at the Parisian (in more ways than one) sky as she sat on the
floor, hugging her knees in her favorite position. Her whole
attitude cried, \”Help me,\” but he wasn\’t so sure that he should
be the one to do so. That was the Captain\’s job, or Kes\’s or
maybe Harry\’s. He was the guy she was afraid of, the one who
nearly killed her guardian with a dart. She turned and saw him,
curling up more. He sighed. *Too late now,* he thought. He sat
down beside Clare, saying cheerfully, \”Great night for
stargazing, huh?\”

Clare turned away, eyes still fixed on the sky. As she
turned, he noticed moonlight shining on a tear that was rolling
down her face. \”Go away.\” she snuffled childishly, all
prentenses to adultness gone.

Paris was genuinely concerned now. She wasn\’t making any
smart-ass remarks, or kicking him in the shins, or doing anything
other than sit quietly and shed silent tears on the floor of his
holoprogram. He put a hand on her knee. \”I\’m sorry…\”

Clare looked at him, confused. \”Why?\”

\”For whatever I did… you\’re crying.\”

She hurriedly wiped her bleary eyes. \”No, I\’m not.\”

Paris pulled her hand away from her eyes. \”Yes, you were.
What did I do?\”

\”Not you… this afternoon…\” she burst into tears again,
and Paris pulled her paternally to his shoulder, the saltwater
leaking into his uniform.

\”It\’s okay… they\’re just bigots… it wasn\’t you…\” he
shushed, thinking of how Kes would handle this.

\”Thanks for defending us, Lieutenant. I know you don\’t
like me.\” she said, hugging her knees again.

\”What? No… no… you\’re an OK kid, for your age.\” he
grinned reassuringly.

Clare looked at him like he\’d lost it. \”But… the pool
game… my suggestions…\”

\”No problem. Do you think I wouldn\’t like one of Harry\’s
friends?\” said Tom casually, betraying his fondness for the
spirited little hell-raiser so like himself, yet so different.
Young Tom Paris would have put himself through the Academy as
LATE as possible, if at all. He admired her ingenuity in flight
class, but he now realized he\’d been rather gruff to her. \”A
friend of Harry\’s is a friend of mine.\”

\”That\’s nice to know, Lieutenant.\” smiled Clare,
brightening as he helped her up.

\”Anytime, Clare. And, call me Tom.\” he unthinkingly added,
patting her back as they walked out of the holodeck.

************************************************************

Janeway, reclining on a sofa, her weary feet propped up by
pillows and puppy, and covered by Ankorak wool blankets, was
immersed in coffee and a book of Browning\’s poetry when her door
beeped unharmoniously. \”Come,\” she called, vaugely irritated.
Her irritation faded at the sight of her tattooed visitor. She
tried to pull herself up, jarring the red-gold puppy, who fled
the room, pulling the contents of the sofa to the floor with him,
leaving a pool of pillows, blankets, and a Captain in his wake.

Chakotay smiled down at the lovely disorder engulfing her.
He picked up the slim volume she had been reading, which lay upon
its spine, open to an obviously well-read spot. He read the
author, and, with a gleam of sweet remembrance, he quoted, eyes
not on the book but his listener,

\”How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach . . .\”

with such thrilling expression in every word and look that
Janeway sat, enraptured, by this new facet of his character. She
stood, awed at Chakotay\’s flawless recitation. Chakotay took her
hand, guiding her back to the sofa, all the while smiling at her
stunned face. \”Between \’killing thousands,\’ I did read, you
know.\”

Janeway recalled Mesaimaha\’s last words, \”Value this
treasure, this soulmate. Keep him near your heart.\” they echoed
through her head as she gazed at Chakotay. She impulsively
kissed him, resting her head on his chest as they sat, talking,
watching the foreign stars speed past them.

************************************************************

Fin

************************************************************

Comments are appreciated

************************************************************

All characters and the Star Trek Voyager name, except for Clare
Edwards, belong to the owners of the copyrights thereof,
Paramount, UPN, ect. This story is for entertainment purposes
only, and distribution is encouraged (keep my name on it,
though!).

************************************************************

In this series:

Voyager I: Prot‚g‚
Voyager II: D‚tente
Voyager III: Amantium Irae
Voyager IV: Puppy Love
Voyager V: Parti Pris
Voyager VI: Roles

************************************************************
Coming Soon: Voyager Story VII, Arcanum
************************************************************

Posted in Voyager | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Puppy Love

************************************************************

\”Puppy Love\”

************************************************************

Voyager Story IV

by Emmy Odd @ aol.com

************************************************************

The greater love is a mother\’s; then comes a dog\’s; then a
sweetheart\’s.

– -Polish Proverb

************************************************************

\”Captain\’s Personal Log : Stardate 48936.4 Since we began
\”seeing\” each other a month ago today, Chakotay and I have
preceded smoothly without incident, except for the occasional
barbs from Tom Paris, and the advice doled out by anyone and
everyone, including little Clare. It\’s amazing what that child
has learned about sexuality and piloting in the few short months
from the over-worldly Tom Paris. I don\’t which is more
audacious, Clare repeating it to me, or the fact that she expects
me to follow it… but it\’s a little early for anything Clare
suggests.\” Janeway was smothered a laugh as she pored over her
PADD, her eyes bluring from hours of dictation, when a beep gave
her an excuse to lay aside her logs. She blinked her burning
eyes, dry from staring, and saw Chakotay enter with a bulky
tissue-wrapped package. She laughed sweetly. \”What is THAT,
Chakotay?\”

He presented the package to her, smiling duskily. \”For our
one-month anniversary.\” he said.

She gasped as she peeled the tissue away, finding
exquisitely colored flowers in her hands. \”Four leaf clovers and
Queen Anne\’s Lace!\” she cried. \”Wherever did you get them,
Chakotay?\”

He beamed as he looked at her face. \”After I found out
from Kes that you had said you loved them, I got some seeds from
the Doctor, and I had Kes plant them in her garden.\”

Janeway kissed Chakotay softly. \”They\’re lovely, Chakotay.
It was very thoughful.\”

As Chakotay gazed down at her, he noticed her PADD. He
picked it up, he commented, \”Clare… sexuality… TOM
PARIS?!?… I really hope this is about me, Kathryn. I would
very much like to talk to Ensign Clare Edwards about her …
suggestions as to us.\”

Flushing crimson, Janeway reached for her PADD. \”It\’s just
an entry in my personal log, Chakotay.\” She leaned over, falling
over her chair. She would have been sorely bruised, if Chakotay
had not grabbed her in his arms. Janeway flushed again, and
laughed. \”I don\’t think you need any of Tom Paris\’s suggestions,
Chakotay. You already have enough appeal by yourself.\” She
slipped flirtatiously from his grasp, and settled back into her
chair, PADD now clenched tightly in her left hand. She tapped
lightly on her PADD, and stared at rows of figures that glided
past her worn-out eyes.

Suddenly, a bland, dry voice echoed through the room.
\”Captain, if you would direct your attention to your
viewmonitor?\” Janeway pressed a few buttons on the screen a few
centimeters away from her. The Doctor\’s wry face appeared. He
raised an eyebrow at the Captain, who turned around to find
Chakotay hunched over her to look at the Doctor. \”I hope I\’m
not… interrupting something?\”

Janeway glared at the holodoctor. \”Nothing, Doctor. What
do you want?\”

The Doctor smirked at them, then grew somewhat fearful.
\”It seems that some plants Kes came into contact with the last
time we beamed down to a planet have had an adverse affect on her
immune system. I have been unable to diagnose any known disease.
It may have to do with her genetic code, for no antibiotic has
helped.\”

Janeway\’s eyes grew round. \”How bad is it?\”

\”I think you should see for yourselves. He turned the
monitor, and the officers gasped in horror. Even during her
early Elogium, Kes had never been so ill. The Ocampa lay
perfectly still along the biobed, but the truly fearful thing was
her skin… it had turned totally blue. Janeway stared in
shocked silence, then gasped, \”Who else was infected?\”

Chakotay murmured, \”Harry Kim… and Clare.\”

Janeway stared at the viewscreen blankly. \”Her first away
mission,\” she thought sadly. In a dull, alien voice she said,
\”Quarentine them in Sick Bay. Send in Mr. Neelix.\”

************************************************************

The usually feverishly giddy Neelix was somber and fearful
as he crept into the Ready Room. Chakotay sat across the room, a
silent observer. Neelix whispered, \”Can I see her, Captain?\”

Janeway shook her head. \”I\’m afraid not. She, Harry, and
Clare are confined to Sick Bay, and only the Doctor is in with
them. I was hoping you could help us.\” she flipped on her
viewscreen. \”Do you recognize this?\” she gestured to Harry\’s
bare blue torso via the monitor.

\”Recognize it?!?! Captain, I nearly died from it!\” he
flubbered. \”It\’s a disease spread by the leaves of the Delturian
mint, and causes a skin irritation that weakens the person
slowly, eventually killing them.\”

Janeway stood up. \”Kills them?? Is there a cure??\”

\”Just one. There is a root fungus that grows on Ultaran
tuberoses that can be spread on the rash to cure it.
Unfortunately… it only grows on Ultur. I can direct you there,
but…\”

Janeway leaned over her desk. \”But…?\”

\”There are strange stories of a pack of horrible animals
that roam Ultur. According to legend, their breath sucks the
life from any soul that dares to approach them.\” Neelix
shuddered.

\”We\’ll just have to take that risk, Mr. Neelix. I can\’t
afford to lose any of my crew. They\’re all too close to me…\”
Janeway trailed off, glancing at the now empty space where
Chakotay had sat. Anticipating her orders, he had left the room.

************************************************************

Harry screamed mutely as he awakened to a burning pain
across his chest. He sat bolt upright, agonized by the movement,
yet compelled to look around. He was in Sick Bay, but it seemed
so strange. He scanned the room, and figured out why. Beside
him lay Kes and Clare, their skin almost completely tinged a
faint blue. He stared at his arms, and saw a wave of blue
running over him, spreading pain through his arms and face. He
sank to his pillow, exhausted by the weakening pain that shot
through him every time he even breathed. He envied Kes, who
seemed oblivious to the pain, laying semi-comatose.

He glanced to his right, where Clare writhed like a
frightened child, trying, even in sleep, to escape the horrible
pain he knew she was feeling. She shrieked shrilly, and curled
up, the pain from such an outrageous movement forcing her eyes
open. She blinked the haze of pain and pills from her eyes, and
found her arms blue, contrasting starkly with the soft gleaming
white of the Sick Bay shirts and pants she wore. She struggled
to sit up, and when she did she found a horrible blue-faced
monster staring at her from the next bed. She quickly ducked
under the sheets. The monster whispered feebly, \”It\’s OK, Clare.
It\’s just me.\”

Clare\’s head popped up from under the metallic blanket.
\”Harry?\” she asked, wonderingly.

\”Yes, just me.\” Harry tried to smile, but it hurt too
much.

Clare looked at her friend fearfully. \”Why are we… blue,
Harry?\”

Harry stared down at his blue hands. \”I don\’t know, Clare,
I don\’t know.\” Harry snapped his fingertips, which crawled hotly
from the friction. \”I know. Computer, active Emergency Medical
Hologram.\”

The Doctor materialized a few feet away from his concious
blue patients. \”Please state… oh, it\’s you two.\” he sighed.

Harry, normally docile and placid, roared, \”What\’s going on
here???\”

The Doctor calmly explained their predicament. \”It appears
the plant life you foraged among a few days ago has caused a skin
and immune disease I cannot diagnose.\”

Clare opened her mouth widely, her mouth numbing from the
pain. \”You mean… there\’s no cure?\”

\”The Captain has asked Mr. Neelix, but I am not informed of
anything, even as trivial as Mr. Neelix\’s information.\” he
sniffed sardonically. \”You might try contacting the Captain.
The Commander has… advised me to do so only in emergencies.\”
His tone implied that the Commander had \”advised\” rather loudly.

Kim tapped his comm badge, wincing from a welt forming
beneath it. \”Kim to Janeway.\”

On the Bridge, Janeway shared a collective breath of relief
with the crew. \”Janeway here, Mr. Kim.\”

Kim grinned at Clare. \”What is the status of our illness,
Captain?\”

\”According to Mr. Neelix, the anticdote resides on a planet
a few hours away. Commander Chakotay and I are personally going
to lead two away teams to search for it. You three just rest and
conserve your strength.\” she said reassuringly. Clare smiled at
Harry from her pillow, before closing her eyes to healing sleep.

************************************************************

Janeway herded the last of the away teams onto the
tansporter. As they disappeared in a glimmer of blue, Janeway
pocketed her tricorder, and nodded to Tuvok as she stood beside
Chakotay. \”We\’ll search for an hour, and contact you then.\” She
nodded again, and Tuvok gazed slightly wistfully at the place
where the Captain had stood, holding Chakotay\’s hand.

************************************************************

Janeway was still holding Chakotay\’s hand as they beamed
into the middle of two dozen ensigns and lieutenants. She looked
around at the ensigns, who looked inordinately attentive, even
for Starfleet. Chakotay looked at the curious ensigns, whose
gaze was directed at his hand. Janeway and Chakotay saw it at
the same time, and ripped their hands apart, blushing briefly.
Breaking the tension, Janeway strode around, saying, \”We\’ll break
up into two groups. I\’ll lead one and Commander Chakotay will
lead the other. Mr. Neelix has given us the search peramiters
for the anticdote. Set your tricorders to those specifications.
If you find it, contact the others. We\’ll meet in one hour.\”

The parties split up, and then again, and again, eventually
splitting up altogether, linked only by comm badge. Ensign
Belarew tapped her comm badge. \”Commander, I\’ve found the
anticdote.\”

Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief. He tapped his comm
badge again. \”Chakotay to Away Teams. Report to transport site
A immediately.\”

Ten minutes later, Chakotay found two dozen ensigns lined
up at attention. He scanned the crowd, and furrowed his brow.
Something was wrong, someone wasn\’t there… and he realized
it… Kathryn wasn\’t there. A vauge memory of Seska flashed,
unwelcome, into his mind. \”Ensign Haley, were is Captain
Janeway?\”

\”I don\’t know, sir. She was scanning some brush one
minute, and when I turned around, she was gone.\”

Chakotay worriedly tapped his comm badge. \”Chakotay to
Janeway.\” No answer. \”Captain?\” Still no answer. \”Chakotay to
Bridge. Prepare to beam all the ensigns aboard. I\’m staying to
search for the Captain.\”

************************************************************

Clare had lost the feeling in her legs, which had turned
deep blue. The numbness set off the waves off pain that shot
through her arms and torso. She glanced at Kes, who remained
entirely comatose. Her focus shifted towards the biobed directly
beside hers, where Harry lay writhing in agony, his skin turning
a royal-blue. The metallic sheets were enmeshed tightly in his
slate-blue hands, which shook. She looked at the lifesigns
flashing above him. Even without much medical training, she knew
that the signs were bad. Gathering up her strength, she yelled,
\”Activate Emergency Medical Hologram!!!\”

************************************************************

Chakotay scanned around the trail he walked on, looking for
signs of life. A broken twig, a half-blurred bootprint, stirred
a faint hope and worry in his heart. His pace quickened when he
noticed deep tracks straight in front of him. As he knelt in the
dust to inspect them closely, he gasped. \”Pawprints…\”

************************************************************

Clare\’s legs thrashed under the blanket on her biobed. But
she barely noticed the searing pain as she watched the nightmare
before her eyes. The Doctor had appeared, and was busy with the
now-delirious Kim, who was convulsing violently, his body jolting
far above the biobed. The Doctor prepared an angry-looking
syringe. She gasped as he plunged the needle into the Ensign\’s
shoulder. He shuddered, and then was as still as the Ocampa
beside him. She looked at the grim Doctor. \”Is he…?\”

The Doctor shook his head. \”He\’s just heavily sedated,
like Kes. If not, their blood pressure would have eventually
elevated beyond my control…\”

\”…and they would have died.\” she murmured. Her arms
began to flail, and as her body began to shake…

A young ensign rushed through the room, grasping vials of
gelatinous goo. The Doctor ordered the Ensign out as he siezed
them, wrenching open the top of one. He poured the contents of
the vial onto Clare\’s arms. The flailing stopped, and the blue
receded from her fingertips. She sighed, relived. She took a
vial from the Doctor, smearing it on her azure legs. As she
regained the feeling in her extremeties, She glanced over as the
Doctor rubbed the healing cream into Kes\’s shoulder blades, which
were long since back to their normal tone. Suddenly, the Doctor
disappeared, and Clare instinctively ducked under her blanket,
feigning sleep. She heard a door swish open, a timid step edge
toward Harry\’s bedside. Forcing her eyes to see the shadows
through her blanket, she saw a female figure rubbing the lotion
on Harry\’s arms. As they moved, the figure pulled back, and a
voice called groggily, \”B\’Elanna?\”

The figure sat beside him, her hand moving toward his face.
He struggled up, and they exchanged a kiss as Clare strained to
stay concious… the cream had a sleep-inducing effect… She
couldn\’t stay awake long enough to see Harry slip into
unconciousness in B\’Elanna\’s arms…

************************************************************

Chakotay quickened his pace as he followed the trail of
prints, which seemed to double at every turn. He tapped his comm
badge, only to hear static. He lifted his head, and found sheer
granite surrounding him. He had unwittingly followed the trail
into a cave. He heard peals of laughter and snarls and barks.
He ran deeper into the cavern, and saw a crimson and black
Federation uniform among a herd of gleaming red-gold fur.
\”Kathryn!\” he yelled.

A disheveled head of brunette locks tossed up from the
barking swarm, her lovely face radiant with joy. \”Chakotay!\”
she said, standing up. Her uniform legs and arms were shredded
and chewed. Chakotay eyed them suspiciously. Janeway laughed.
\”The \”beasts\” are… dogs!\” she cried happily, gathering a small
bundle of reddish fluff in her practically bare arms. \”Some
sort of Retrievers, I belive,\” she beamed, eyes shining. She sat
on the rock again, totally absorbed in the tiny puppy tumbling in
her hands. The throng of sinewy, broad-backed dogs thinned,
scampering around Chakotay\’s knees. Chakotay knelt beside the
Captain, who plopped the roly-poly puppy in his hands. The two
stared at each other, and the puppy licked his cheek. Janeway
laughed merrily. \”You\’re better than Mark with dogs! Is your
animal guide a dog, perhaps?\” she smiled.

Chakotay grinned mysteriously at Janeway. \”I can\’t tell
you that, Kathryn.\” he said smoothly, as the puppy squirmed in
his grasp. \”What do we do with this little guy?\”

Janeway\’s face fell. \”I guess we have to return it to its
pack.\”

Chakotay looked at her enigmaticly. \”I\’ll go take him back
to his pack. You go ahead to the transport site.\”

Sighing resignedly, Janeway followed Chakotay out of the
cavern, and watched his stalwart figure disappear over the
horizon before setting out towards the clearing from which she
had come.

************************************************************

A few moments later Chakotay met Janeway at the transport
site, woe-fully dogless. She stared at him, as if staring at
Benedict Arnold, not noticing the smile on Chakotay\’s face. With
a sad, \”Two to beam out.\” And then they were gone.

************************************************************

Janeway approached the Sick Bay with dread, worrying about
her \”children.\” When she stepped into the room, the saw
B\’Elanna, Harry still in her arms. She sighed, \”Captain, it
appears that the cure causes a deep sleep for approximately 24
hours.\”

\”How long has it been, B\’Elanna?\”

Harry moaned from his perch on Torres\’s lap. \”Huh…
Whaa…?\”

Janeway smiled at Torres. \”I\’d say it was about 24 hours.\”
She gazed benevolently at the two. \”I\’ll go attend to Clare
now.\” She turned to the sleepy girl in the next biobed. \”How
are you, Clare?\” she said maternally, brushing the tangled locks
from her flushed face.

Clare smiled wanly at Janeway. \”I\’m fine, Captain… just
so…\” she yawned, tired and content, and fell asleep. The warm
breath on Janeway\’s neck was reassuring. She turned a sleepy
face of her own on her first officer. \”Hello, Chakotay. She
just woke up.\” she said, stroking Clare\’s cheek.

Chakotay laid a reassuring hand on Janeway\’s shoulder,
which crumpled her tired body still further. Chakotay looked at
her, concerned. \”Captain,\” he said, looking around, \”You should
go get some rest. I\’ll accompany you to your quarters.\”
Janeway opened her mouth to object, but she yawned instead,
allowing herself to be led out of Sick Bay.

************************************************************

Janeway opened her door sleepily, and turned to Chakotay to
wish him goodnight, but Chakotay put his finger to her lips and
turned on the light, whistling softly. Janeway looked at
Chakotay as if he\’d gone mad, until a red-gold bundle of plush
ran toward her. He bounded gleefully into her arms as Janeway
laughed, cried, and gasped all at the same time. Chakotay shut
the door behind them. She could only sputter, \”Chakotay!
How…?\”

Chakotay smiled at Janeway\’s astonished face. \”I put a
comm badge on him before I let him go. After that time I was
left behind on that planet, I\’ve always carried a spare.\” he
grinned, holding up a comm badge he\’d extracted from the puppy\’s
thick red hair.

Janeway smothered a youthful giggle as the puppy licked
Chakotay again. \”But what about the ship\’s policy?\”

Chakotay smoothed her hair. \”Morale booster… mascot…
and if all else fails… Neelix could cook him. I\’m sure Harry
would enjoy a meal his ancestors ate.\”

Janeway turned on Chakotay. \”Chakotay! Don\’t even joke
about that!\” she cried. Then her resonant voice rumbled to a
throaty growl. \”No one touches my dog.\” She smiled at the puppy,
brightening. \”Now what do we name you?\” she smiled as she
cuddled him close, an inseperable bond froming instantly.

The puppy barked shrilly, squirming and thumping his silky
tail. Janeway loosened her grasp, and the dog bounded out of the
room. She turned to chase him, but Chakotay caught her in his
arm. \”You can puppy-chase later, Kathryn.\”

************************************************************

Fin

************************************************************

Comments are appreciated

************************************************************

All characters and the Star Trek Voyager name, except for Clare
Edwards, belong to the owners of the copyrights thereof,
Paramount, UPN, ect. This story is for entertainment purposes
only, and distribution is encouraged (keep my name on it,
though!).

************************************************************

In this series:

Voyager I: Prot‚g‚
Voyager II: D‚tente
Voyager III: Amantium Irae
Voyager VI: Puppy Love
Voyager Story V, \”Parti Pris\”

************************************************************

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Détente

\”Detente\”
Voyager Story III

by

Emmy Odd @ aol.com

************************************************************

Love, the itch, and a cough cannot be hid

– – Italian Proverb

Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.

– – W. B. Yeats

Oh! Duty is an icy shadow. It will freeze you. It cannot fill the
heart\’s sanctuary.

– – Augusta Jane Evans

************************************************************

In a smoky ill-lit tavern in Marsielle, a tall, uniformed
man, bronzed and muscular, stepped into the room. Ignoring the
click of cue balls, and dodging the seductive advances of the
middle-aged waitress, past her prime, he strode over to where a
brunette woman lined up a shot. He slipped behind her as she
pulled back her cue, and touched her cheek lightly. Her cue
skidded across the table, and her shot bounced crazily over the
table. She turned around, a smile illuminating her face, a soft
shine of recognition in her startlingly blue eyes. He kissed her
softly, and she dropped her cue to entwine her arms around his
neck. The holograms that surrounded them were programmed so
worldly that none save the jealous seductress paid any attention
to their embrace. The woman opened her eyes once more, and
smiled as their lips parted. \”Hello, Chakotay.\” she smiled.

He stroked the fly-way locks of hairs he had knocked out of
place. \”I\’m sorry I ruined your shot, Kathryn,\” he grinned, \”Is
there anyway I can make it up to you?\”

She lowered her eyelids, smiling seductively. \”I don\’t
know, Commander… any suggestions?\”

\”Just one.\” he grinned, pulling her chin up to kiss her
again. After a long interlude, he said in a throaty whisper, \”We
have to get on the Bridge in a few minutes.\”

She traced an intricate pattern on his chest. \”Well, I
suppose we should get going then.\”

He smiled duskily down at her. \”Everytime I find you, we
have to report to the Bridge. Computer, end program.\” They
stepped out of the gridded room, and as they passed Harry Kim and
Tom Paris, Chakotay turned to Janeway again. \”Captain, the
inspections you ordered on the warp necells are finished.\”

Janeway nodded professionally. \”Good. Let\’s head to the
Bridge.\”

After they had passed, Paris turned to Harry. He looked
into his sober face, and laughed like a madman. He sank to his
knees, he laughed so hard. Harry dropped beside him, and shook
him savagely. \”Should I get Kes? Are you alright? What\’s with
you, Tom?\”

Tom stopped laughing abruptly. \”That was hilarious, Harry!
And you\’re standing there like a sucker, beliving that the
Commander and the Captain…\” he doubled over, laughing, once
again.

Harry stared at Paris. \”What do you mean, Tom??\”

Paris shook his head. \”You are so naãve, Harry! Don\’t you
see?\” He pulled himself up, and began walking toward the
turbolift.

Harry ran behind him, and pulled him around. \”I don\’t see,
Tom. What are you blabbing about?\”

Tom put his hands on Harry\’s shoulders, and whispered
conspiritorially. \”The Captain and the Commander have fallen in
love!\”

************************************************************

Harry pulled Paris into the Mess Hall. \”Are you crazy,
Paris?\” he whispered savagely.

Paris shrugged off Harry\’s grip. \”I see what I see, Harry.
Did you actually belive that banter about inspections?? B\’Elanna
finished those inspections hours ago!\”

\”That doesn\’t prove that they\’re in love, Tom.\” Harry
countered as he slid into a seat.

A harsh voice jarred Harry\’s nerves. \”Who\’s in love?\” said
B\’Elanna as she sat down beside Harry.

\”No one, B\’Elanna.\” Harry said, glaring at Paris. \”But
according to Tom, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are.\”

B\’Elanna swallowed hard. \”Cha…ko…tay??\” she said,
forcing the syllables out, \”What makes you think…that?\”

Tom leaned over the table. \”Hussshh… here they come…\”
he nodded toward where Neelix was offering steaming bowls of
unidentifiable mush to two crimson-uniformed officers, one\’s head
close-cropped, the other\’s in a reserved chignon.

\”Good afternoon, Captain, Commander!\” Neelix\’s grating
voice could be overheard.

The Captain smiled at the Talaxian amiably. \”What are you
serving today, Mr. Neelix?\”

\”I have an exquisite puree of Angarekian bezel root.
Simply marvalous!\” he said with a smack of his thick lips.

He held out two bowls of the concoction. The arcid fumes
nearly knocked Janeway over. She looked dizzily at Chakotay.
Chakotay deftly pushed Janeway towards a table, calling over his
shoulder, \”Umm… No lunch today…there\’s alot of work we need
to finish, Mr. Neelix.\”

As they sat at an empty table, Tom turned back to Harry and
B\’Elanna. \”See?!?\”

Harry shook his head. \”So they didn\’t want root stew. Me
and B\’Elanna didn\’t, either. Does that mean we\’re in love?\”

Tom looked at them and grinned. \”Who knows?\” he said
mysteriously.

\”Get serious, Paris! Me and Starfleet?\” said B\’Elanna
defensively, crossing her arms. \”I thought we were talking about
the Captain and Chakotay. If that\’s all the proof you have, then
I don\’t belive it. Get real. Doesn\’t she have some boyfriend at
home?\”

Harry stared at his PADD, and squirmed uncomfortably in his
seat. \”I had a girlfriend, too, B\’Elanna. I think you realize
eventually that you\’ll never see them again, and if you do, they
won\’t understand. I won\’t fit in Libby\’s life anymore, even if I
do see her again.\” He brightened artifically. \”But why brood
when you\’re with friends? This speculation is quite
interesting.\”

Janeway looked toward where Paris and the others were now
laughing and joking, and had the uncomfortable sensation that it
was about her. She was beginning to have serious doubts as to
the whole idea of having a… relationship while being Captain.
Chakotay touched her hand tenatively. She turned to him, staring
at her PADD. \”Yes, Commander?\” she said cooly.

\”Is there a problem, Captain?\” Chakotay asked.

\”I\’m not comfortable… with the perameters of our… food
supply.\” Janeway recovered.

\”I see… is there anything I… the crew can do to make
you more… comfortable with the… food supply?\” Chakotay said.

\”I\’d like more breathing room… for Kes\’ garden.\”

\”I don\’t understand, Captain.\”

\”I… think the plants are being… suffocated. The amount
of… care and attention is fine… but there\’s a great chance
for… interference with the ship\’s functionality.\” said Janeway.

\”Perhaps we should discuss this in your Ready Room,
Captain… we can better… discuss this issue there.\” At the
end of this double-conversation, they stood up from their table,
and walked stiffly from the room.

As they passed Harry and the other\’s table, B\’Elanna
hissed, \”See? Nothing but plants!\”

Tom smiled at the Klingon and the Ensign, and shook his
head.

************************************************************

After she had put a privacy lock on the Ready Room,
Janeway turned to Chakotay and said, \”That was the most absurd
conversation I\’ve ever had, Commander!\”

Chakotay sat on the top of her desk and grinned like a
Cheshire cat. \”It was clever, though. But I didn\’t understand
what you were uncomfortable with, Kathryn.\”

\”This!\” Janeway gestured wildly. \”The looks, the rumors,
the secrets, the double-conversations! I\’m so… confused!\”
She said, collapsing into her chair. \”I\’m sure Paris and the
others know… and I feel so guilty…\”

Chakotay sidled up behind her, laying a protective arm
across her shoulders. \”Don\’t worry, Kathryn.\”

She shrugged his arm off and disarmed the privacy lock. \”I
don\’t think you should call me that anymore, Commander.\”
Chakotay stood up in disbelief. \”And I think you should go.\” He
tried to touch her cheek, but she turned her head. \”Now,
Commander.\” He strode toward the doorway. As he stood in it, he
turned to look at Janeway, but her chair faced the wall.

************************************************************

The Doctor noted the rift forming between Chakotay and
Janeway a few minutes later. \”Kes, come over here, you have to
see this.\”

\”What, Doctor?\” asked Kes.

The Doctor gleefully played back the conversation he had
just heard. \”Listen.\”

\”Don\’t worry, Kathryn,\” \”I don\’t think you should call me
that anymore,\” \”I think you should go, Commander,\” and \”Now,
Commander\” flooded the room. Kes looked at the Doctor with
shock. \”I thought the Captain said you shouldn\’t eavesdrop on
conversations, Doctor.\”

The Doctor looked at Kes. \”It\’s… in the best intrest of
my patients\’ mental health. Besides, I\’ll never have my own love
life, even one as fleeting as our Maquis swain Commander
Chakotay.\”

Kes smiled oddly at the Doctor. \”Who says you\’ll never
have a love life, Doctor?\”

The Doctor sighed. \”I\’m a doctor, not a cavalier, Kes.\”

\”Well, it\’s still rude. And you know that it will get all
over the ship.\” Kes argued.

\”Thanks to your good friend Mr. Paris, it already has.\” he
said pointedly. \”Besides, that little interlude implies that the
Captain has decided to sacrifice herself for her crew.\” he said
added sarcdonically.

Kes looked quizzically at the Doctor. \”What do you mean,
sacrifice?\”

The Doctor glanced at his PADD. \”Well, I think that the
Captain decided not to see Commander Chakotay anymore for fear it
interfere with the crew.\”

Kes\’ eyes widened. \”But that\’s insane! Doesn\’t she…?\”

\”…Love him? Her biorhythms indicate a physical
attraction, but she is being inordinately noble. A human flaw.\”

\”Well, it\’s an Ocampa flaw then, too. I\’m going to tell
Captain Janeway to …\”

The Doctor stood up from his chair. \”But you can\’t do
that, Kes!\” he yelled.

Kes eyed the Doctor. \”Why not?\”

The Doctor fumbled, \”Because then she\’ll wonder how you
knew… and…\”

\”I\’ll tell her I used my empathic abilities. Tuvok has
been trying to teach me.\”

The Doctor sighed. \”Very well.\”

************************************************************

Tom Paris caught Kes on her way to find Captain Janeway.
\”Hey, Kes, what\’s your rush?\” he asked smoothly.

Kes sighed. \”Do you really want to know?\”

Paris grinned. \”Look who you\’re asking, Kes. What do you
think?\”

Kes smiled wanly at Tom. \”If you really want to know…
the Doctor and I overheard Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay
… fighting!\”

Paris raised his eyebrows, and gave a low whistle. \”The
Captain?!? Are you sure?\”

Kes nodded mutely. \”We had a comm link to her Ready Room.
She…\”

\”And…?\” Tom urged her on with a wicked gleam in his eye.

\”She said something about him leaving… and he called her
Kathryn.\”

Paris whistled again. \”HELlo… I\’ve gotta go tell Harry
and B\’Elanna…\”

Kes pulled on his sleeve. \”No… then we\’ll get the Doctor
in trouble. I was going to counsel the Captain.\”

Paris looked at her patronizingly. \”And how are you going
to do that, Kes?\”

\”I\’ll tell her I used my empathic abilities to sense her
pain.\” Kes crossed her arms naãvely.

\”Well, I won\’t tell anyone, Kes. Trust me.\”

Kes smiled warmly at Tom as he left, and in a nearby
doorway, a gnome-like figure dropped the bowl of Ybarbian
cauliflower he held in his hands.

************************************************************

A beep roused Janeway from a melancoly reverie. \”Come,\”
said a froggy, distant voice. The slight Ocampa stepped timidly
into the room.

\”Captain… I…\”

With a wave of her hand, Janeway cut her off. \” I know,
Kes. I thought I told you and the Doctor not to eavesdrop.\” she
smiled tiredly. Kes\’s mouth dropped, and Janeway laughed
faintly. \”Don\’t worry, Kes. You don\’t seem to think I ever
glance at my PADD when I\’m rejecting a person.\”

Kas stared again, and sputtered, \”But… why, Captain?\”

Janeway sighed, and ran her finger across her mouth. \”To
tell the truth, Kes, I don\’t know myself. I\’m not sure of
anything right now.\”

Kes smiled sweetly at Janeway. \”There\’s one thing you can
be sure of, no matter what, you\’ll always have your crew\’s
respect.\”

\”Thank you, Kes. I\’ll remember that.\” But after Kes left,
a bronzed face flooded her memory, and Kes\’ words were a faint
echo in the distance.

************************************************************

Tom ran up to B\’Elanna in Engineering. \”B\’Elanna, you\’re
never going to belive this…\”

************************************************************

Chakotay tossed and turned in his quarters, fitfully trying
to sleep. Finally finding a comfortable position, he sighed
blissfully, when his door beeped, causing him to jump out of his
bed. \”Just a second,\” he called, frantically finding his
uniform. B\’Elanna stormed in, ignoring his plea, and stood
frozen before a half-naked Chakotay. Crossing his arms over his
bare chest, Chakotay dead-panned, \”Yes, B\’Elanna?\”

\”Cha…kotay…\” she bleated, until Chakotay finally found
his shirt. Then B\’Elanna roared, \”Chakotay, have you no
scruples!\”

Chakotay just looked at B\’Elanna blankly. \”What are you
talking about?\”

B\’Elanna glared at him. \”Don\’t you know? It\’s all over
the ship… How Janeway kicked you out of her Ready Room.\”

Chakotay sat down at the nearest table, and sputtered,
\”Whaaat…!?!\”

B\’Elanna sat down opposite him. \”The Doctor and Kes
overheard the end of a conversation between the two of you, where
Janeway was ordering you out of the Ready Room, saying something
about not calling her something. Tell me it\’s been blown out of
proportion by Paris, or, even better, it\’s all a horrible
practical joke.\” she cried desprately.

Chakotay looked at Torres\’ anxious face, and murmured, \”For
the crew and Kathryn\’s sake… or yours, B\’Elanna?\”

B\’Elanna started. \”What do you mean?\”

\”I heard about your hallucination, B\’Elanna. It was a
hallucination, right?\”

\”Yes, Chakotay. A hallucination.\” B\’Elanna abruptly
changed the subject. \”Kathryn???\”

Chakotay looked away. \”It\’s long story, B\’Elanna.\”

B\’Elanna leaned back in her chair. \”I have all the time in
the world, Chakotay.\”

Chakotay shook his head. \”I\’m sorry, B\’Elanna… I…
can\’t…\”

Enraged, B\’Elanna stormed out of the room.

************************************************************

Janeway could feel the stares on her back as she stepped
onto the Bridge. She sank into her seat, keenly aware of the
unheard voices mocking her. She sat in ennui for quite some time
as the crew milled busily around her. She sat there, lost in
technobabble and reflection, until a warm gust of breath alerted
her to Chakotay\’s presence. She turned instinctively, and met
Chakotay\’s worried gaze. \”We need to talk, Kathryn.\” he
whispered hoarsely.

Janeway stared at Chakotay. \”I thought I asked you not to
call me that.\”

He grasped her hand savagely. \”I\’m sorry, Captain, but we
really need to talk.\”

\”Very well, Commander.\” she sighed.

************************************************************

Janeway stared out the window as she spoke. \”What is
happening to me?\” she moaned. \”I\’ve never let my personal life
interfere with my captainship before… how could I do it when
it\’s most essential for me not to?\”

\”The same reason it\’s important to be larger than life, is
why you can\’t possibly be so, Captain. We\’re all together 24
hours a day, with little or no hope of ever getting off this
ship. Of course you need your crew\’s respect to run this ship,
perhaps a little amount of godliness as well. But don\’t you see?
The distance has crumbled, little by little.\” he stroked her
shoulder tenderly. \”You don\’t need to use your rank as an excuse
anymore. Things change when you\’re 75 light-years from home,
Captain. People change. Feelings change.\”

He tilted her face up to his, but a look of a new fear
crossed her face. \”But… what if we do get home…?\” she
whispered fearfully.

Chakotay grinned to mask the fear in his own thoughts. \”I
hope the good word from the Captain will assuage the Federation.
Besides, by the time we get home, everyone will have forgotten
all about the Maquis.\”

\”You make it sound so simple, Chakotay…\” sighed Janeway.

\”In my opinion, it is. All I know is that I love you,
Kathryn, and I think you love me, and there isn\’t anyone in our
lives to interfere…\”

\”…except the crew.\” Janeway finished, ignoring his
intonement of her name.

\”Too late to worry about that, Kathryn.\” countered
Chakotay, emboldened by his use of her first name. \”No matter
what, they\’re going to gossip about us, no thanks to the
Doctor…\” he muttered gruffly.

Janeway smiled, stroking his tawny cheek. \”You make an
interesting case, Chakotay.\”

Chakotay became uncharacteristically impatient. \”So…?\”

She kissed his flushed cheek, and said in her wonderfully
resonant voice, \”We be at least somewhat professional about this.
We shouldn\’t give the Doctor and the crew any more to gossip
about than absolutely necessary.\”

He smiled at her again with his deep velvety smile, and
kissed her deeply.

************************************************************

A few days later, at the beginning of their new-found
relationship, Chakotay and Janeway were eating lunch together,
totally engrossed in each other, barely glancing at their PADDs
or their food. There was little idle gossip now, and the two
were spending most of their free time together, inviting wild
speculation nonetheless. Tom Paris, one such spectator, was
guestulating wildly to Harry as he observed the two of them a few
meters away. \”There they go again, like a couple of kids!
Honestly, I don\’t think I\’d ever act like that, do you Harry?
Harry…? Harry…?\” Tom Paris turned around, to find Harry
totally engrossed in B\’Elanna Torres…

************************************************************

Fin

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Amantium Irae

************************************************************

\”Amantium Irae\”

************************************************************

Voyager Story II

************************************************************

by Emily Odd, A.K.A. Emmy Odd @ aol.com

************************************************************

Immature love says: \”I love you because I need you.\” Mature love
says: \”I need you because I love you.\”
-Erich Fromm

************************************************************

\”So what is this place, Harry?\” asked Clare as the door to
the holodeck slid away before Ensign Harry Kim, the half-Klingon
Chief Engineer B\’Elanna Torres, and an exubrant Junior Ensign
Clare Edwards at their heels.

\”Its a program Tom wrote. It\’s a recreation of a tavern in
Marseilles he used to frequent. The senior officers come here
all the time.\”

Clare\’s brows knitted at the words \”tavern,\” and \”Tom.\”
\”Do you think… Captain Janeway…??\”

Harry felt wise and mature, as the young always do, at the
sight of the worry in Clare\’s face. \”What Captain Janeway
doesn\’t know won\’t hurt her. If you don\’t tell, I won\’t.\”

Clare smiled gratefully. \”Well, then, what are we waiting
for??\”

As they stepped inside, a buxom woman entwined her arms
around Harry. \”And how are you, ma ch‚rie??\” Before the young
ensign could say a word, she kissed him on the lips. Harry
struggled to pull away from her vise-like grip. Finally, she
pulled away and growled seductively, \”Monsieur Tom will be happy
to see you.\” She rumpled his hair, and then she saw Clare, with
a mixture of shock and glee on her innocent face. \”Well, well,
Harry, I see you\’ve brought a little friend with you. She is
your girlfriend, no?\”

Harry blushed, eying B\’Elanna\’s fiery face. \”She\’s a
little young to be my girlfriend, Madame.\”

\”Ahh, but love has no age, and she is a pretty face,
Harry.\” countered the hologram, cupping Clare\’s face in her
hands. She scrutinized it carefully, ignoring B\’Elanna. \”Rather
like the lady who is playing pool with Tom and the foreign man
with the strange tattoo. The lady wastes her time with such a
man.\” Her accent and curl of her lip as she described Chakotay
implied her sensuous advances on the Commander were coldly
received.

Clare shook her head from the vise-like grip of the
hologram, and gasped at Harry and B\’Elanna. \”Captain Janeway!!\”

That wasn\’t the best thing for Clare to do, considering she
had yelled at the top of her lungs. A shining brunette head
popped up, and a merry voice called, \”Did someone call my name?\”

Clare sunk into a chair and hid her head in her hands. She
was done for now. She could feel hands around her throat… and
a warm, throaty, tender voice saying… \”Hello Clare, care to
join me and the Commander in a game of pool?\”

Clare stuck her head up. To her surprise, the Captain and
the Commander were smiling at her, and Captain Janeway was
holding out a cue for her. Clare breathed relieved. \”You aren\’t
going to yell at me, Captain??\”

\”Why should I? It\’s not a brothel, even if Tom did design
it.\” Janeway smiled at Paris. \”No offense, Tom.\”

\”None taken.\” Paris walked over and rumpled Clare\’s hair.
\”If she\’s your prot‚g‚, Captain, can she play as good pool as
you?\”

\”I\’ll leave that training to you, Tom.\” smiled Janeway.
\”I wouldn\’t want her getting too good.\”

\”I HAVE played pool before, Captain, and I\’m not that bad,
either.\” mumbled Clare, I bit chagrined. She didn\’t mention she
was the best on Explorer. She wanted to size up the competition
first.

\”Well, then, let\’s get started.\” Tom gave Clare the thumbs-
up, and Clare felt less afraid of Paris at that moment.

************************************************************

After 5 games, Janeway had beaten them all but two times,
when Clare, who was a bit rusty, wiped the floor with her elders.
Chakotay and Paris stared at each other while Janeway and Clare
hugged each other triumphantly. Janeway yawned, and laid down
her cue. \”I\’m too tired to beat you all anymore. I\’m going to
bed. I\’ll see you in the morning.\”

Tom scowled at the pool table. \”Not before I show you this
shot, Captain.\” Janeway sighed, and said, \”I\’m too tired to see
straight, Tom, make it quick.\”

Tom yawned, but willed himself to make his patented
\’miracle shot\’. He pulled his cue back, and ripped a hole in the
fabric lining of the table. Janeway clapped absently.
\”Wonderful, Tom, NOW can I go to bed?\” She was rewarded with a
stony stare as Tom grabbed some darts and hurled them at the
dartboard. He slung them recklessly, and hit Janeway square in
the neck. She slumped forward, and Chakotay grabbed her around
the waist. Clare, Tom and Harry could only gasp and stare at one
another as the Commander carried his Captain to Sick Bay.

************************************************************

\”Commander!\” Kes grabbed a tricorder and scurried over to
where Chakotay was laying the Captain\’s limp form on the nearest
biobed. \”What happened to Captain Janeway??\”

Kes and the Doctor, who had appeared moments before, stared
at the blood on Chakotay\’s sleeve. Chakotay looked grimly at Kes
and the Doctor. \”Tom threw a dart recklessly, and it hit her in
the back of her neck.\” he muttered morosely. \”Why didn\’t the
fail-safes work?\” he muttered.

The Doctor turned Janeway\’s body over to inspect the wound.
Kes winced and turned away. Autopsies and wounds are one thing
when it\’s history, but it\’s different when it\’s a person you
know. Chakotay\’s eyes widened at the crude bite the dart had
made in the graceful neck. \”Well, the Captain was extremely
lucky. It barely missed the jugular vein. I\’ve stopped the
bleeding, and she should regain consciousness in a few hours.
She\’s lost alot of blood,\” he added sardonically, eyeing
Chakotay\’s sleeves and shoulders, \”and I recommend she rest in
her quarters for a few days after she regains consciousness.\”
Janeway moaned, and the Doctor sighed.

************************************************************

A film of sleep blurred Janeway\’s vision. She blinked
slowly, and Chakotay\’s visage came into focus. She was so close
she could see the dark circles under his deep-set eyes.
\”Chakotay,\” was all she could will her parched vocal chords to
say, and her voice seemed far away to her ears.

\”Yes, Captain,\” intoned the Commander, brushing her cheek
with his hand. \”We were all so worried. The Doctor didn\’t know
when you would wake up, so I\’ve stayed here the whole time. Are
you feeling better?\”

Janeway struggled to sit up, her mind frantically trying to
put the pieces together. \”Chakotay?\”

\”Yes, Captain?\”

\”I\’m so confused…\” her hand went to the back of her neck,
and winced at the pain, her eyes watering.

Chakotay winced sympathetically. \”You were hit in the neck
with a dart by Tom Paris.\”

\”How…?\” Janeway said, puzzled.

\”The fail-safes must have malfunctioned, but B\’Elanna
hasn\’t found anything wrong.\”

Janeway struggled to smile dispite her confusion. \”Not a
dignified way to be injured. How long have I been unconscious,
Commander?\”

Chakotay managed a wry smile at his Captain\’s vigor. \”About
5 hours, Captain. The loss of blood knocked you out cold.\”

Janeway\’s eyes widened as she saw the blood, her own,
covering his still-uncleaned uniform. \”I see, Commander.\”

Chakotay looked down at the blood, and tried to smile.
\”Tom and Clare have been worrying the whole time. Harry\’s been
trying to calm them down, but they keep burying their heads in
their hands.\”

Janeway laughed, then winced from the movement. \”Poor
Harry. So it takes my injury to bring those two rakes together
without killing each other. I suppose you should go tell them
I\’m all right, Commander.\”

Chakotay furrowed his brow. \”Is that safe, Captain? The
E.M.H. isn\’t on if you… relapse.\”

Janeway tried to look as happy as she could. \”Commander,
go tell them I am perfectly healthy. I will meet you on the
Bridge in 10 minutes.\”

\”But Captain, the Doctor said that…\”

\”No \’buts\’ Commander!\” snapped Janeway shortly, leaping out
of her biobed. She lurched backwards unsteadily, and Chakotay
rushed to catch her. Her temper cooled slightly when she saw
Chakotay\’s penetrating gaze as he held her in his grasp. But
Kathryn Janeway wasn\’t about to be cowed by a pair of strong arms
and an anxious glance, however… appealing. She wrested herself
from him, and shot him a defiant look. \”Thank you for your
concern, Commander. I will meet you on the Bridge in 20
minutes.\” Chakotay turned to watch the unbowed figure stride,
alibet shakily, out of the room, and the Commander shook his
head.

************************************************************

Exactly 20 minutes later, Chakotay stepped onto the Bridge,
where Janeway was seated in her Captain\’s chair, in complete
command of the crew milling about her. Except for the scar now
half-hidden by her collar, it was almost as if last night\’s pool
incident had never happened. Chakotay stood back, taking the
improbable scene in. Any doubts, had he had any, as to Janeway\’s
resiliency against anything disappeared. Harry Kim\’s youthful
voice announced, \”Captain, there is an M-class ship off the port
bow.\”

Janeway\’s resonant voice resounded through the room. \”Long-
range scans detect any lifeforms, Ensign?\”

\”No, Captain.\”

\”Very well, then. Enter the planet\’s coordinates into the
logs, and continue on at set coordinates.\” Chakotay slipped into
his chair beside Janeway\’s stealthily, but not even his silent
footfalls could fool the alert, busy figure beside him. Janeway
spun around in her seat, smiling. \”Commander, good to see you.
I trust that Tom and the others are having a good rest before
they return to their posts?\”

Chakotay grinned at the pale face, lined with recent pain,
smiling into his. \”They\’ll be back here in a few hours. They
look worse than you do, Captain.\”

\”That\’s the first complement you\’ve given me, Commander,\”
beamed Janeway. \”I… ahh…\” Janeway slumped over the arm of
the Captain\’s chair, her hand clutching the back of her neck,
groaning in agony.

Chakotay tapped his comm badge quickly. \”Bridge to Sick
Bay, initiate Emergency Medical Hologram and prepare for injured
Captain.\”

************************************************************

A few minutes later, the Doctor and Chakotay studied the
pain-ridden, unconscious Captain lying in the biobed once again.
\”She would have been fine, but she refused to rest.\”

\”Stubborn little…\” sighed Chakotay, checking himself at
the last minute. Lucky he did, for at that moment, the hand that
was enmeshed in both of the Maquis\’ stirred. Janeway pulled
herself upright, and Chakotay sat beside her. \”The Doctor says
you are to stay in your quarters until I hear from him and the
swelling from the bruise goes down. I\’ll…\”

Ensign Kim\’s voice cut off Chakotay. \”Captain, there\’s a
Kazon ship approaching from behind the M-class planet.\”

Before Chakotay could stop her, Janeway blurted out,
\”Evasive maneuvers, Ensign. If they don\’t see us, we don\’t have
to fire on them. Get as far away as possible. If that doesn\’t
work, try to reason with them. Don\’t fire unless they fire on us
first.\” Janeway turned to Chakotay. \”You\’d better get to the
Bridge, Commander.\” Dispite the overwhelming urge consuming him,
pleading with him to stay, Chakotay strode out of Sick Bay.
Janeway sunk to her pillow, drained by her facade in front of
Chakotay.

************************************************************

\”The Kazon ship is pursuing, Commander.\”

\”Lock on the engines, and fire.\” he said blurted
instinctively.

\”The Kazon ship has been destroyed.\”

************************************************************

Right before drifting into a long healing sleep, Janeway
heard echoes of Chakotay\’s order to fire.

************************************************************

The next day, Chakotay entered Janeway\’s Ready Room. He was
greeted with a stare so compelling that it physically sickened
him. The subsequent explosion was still more painful. Janeway\’s
face set her mouth in an unlovely snarl, and vented almost a year
of repressed stress in her first officer\’s face. \”Commander, you
committed direct insubordination when you fired on that ship.
What the hell were you thinking!?!\”

\”Captain, I make no apologies for my actions. They were
following us!\”

Eyes flashing, Janeway slapped him soundly. \”That\’s the
flimsiest excuse I\’ve ever heard. Have you no respect for my
intelligence!?\”

Mustering up almost superhuman courage, Chakotay stared
into Janeway\’s eyes, which were gleaming with a cold blue fire,
daring him to oppose them. His hands tingled to retaliate. His
normally placid soul now seethed with indignation at her cutting
words, but Chakotay was amazing in his patience with the red-hot
fury before him. He snapped but once. \”Captain! They would
have powered up their weapons in a few seconds, it was a
lose/lose situation.\”

\”You don\’t know that! Was it worth it? Did it give you a
good feeling? Was it like when YOU were captain of your ship?
Was it an old Maquis tactic to make friends out of enemies???\”
snapped Janeway. She was not yelling at the man before her, nor
his actions, she was yelling at the crew, the Kazon, herself.
She lost control at that moment, uncapable of doing anything but
verbalize all that she had gone through lately.

Chakotay cracked at last. \”This has nothing to do with the
Maquis!\” he roared vehemently.

Janeway looked at Chakotay. His bitterness sobered her.
Her eyes widened, and she turned away. \”It hurts me more than
you know Commander, to think that you would do such a thing.
Have I no influence on you at all, Chakotay?\” Janeway, her voice
strained, now spoke with her back to him. She madly repented the
insane display she had just put on for Chakotay, desprately
wishing that he would leave, and this nightmare would end. He
walked over to her, and she turned around to confront him again.
The fire in her flashing eyes was drowned with budding tears.

He grabbed her arms and stared into her eyes, which had
lost the hatred in them, and darted around the Ready Room,
avoiding his glance. He compelled her gaze to lock with his. He
tried to clear his throat. \”Captain, that ship was powering up
their weapons to fire on us. Nevertheless, it wasn\’t grounds to
destroy them. I have been racked with guilt ever since. I
didn\’t sleep last night. I haven\’t been able to commune with my
spirit guide. I am beginning to think that everyone and
everything I care about has forsaken me.\” he murmured strangely.

The choked melancholy which pervaded his words, and the
strange look in his eyes hit home for Janeway at that moment.
She had never realized how much Chakotay had meant to her, not as
a first officer, not as a confidant or advisor, not even as a
friend… through the joys and triumphs, sadness and loss,
revelations and discoveries of the past few months, they had
shared more together than she and Mark had in their shared
years… and to think he thought she could ever forsake such a
bond as they had… She touched his hand, as she had many times
before, but with new meaning in it now, her fettered soul, locked
away from pure, unrestricted human contact for so long, crying
out in that light touch. She lifted her eyes, and they locked
with his. \”I would never forsake you, Chakotay. Know that.\”

Her simple words, combined with the touch of her hand,
broke down all the resolve Chakotay had amassed in his heart in
the past months. Forgetting himself, he held her head in his
hands, and kissed her as he\’d wished to almost since he first saw
her months before. Barriers, Maquis and Federation, Commander
and Captain, Seska and Mark, fell in an instant of utter bliss of
a single moment, far from Earth, from family, from even the room
in which they stood.
But all good things must end. The moment ended, seconds
after it had begun, but the transformation in the two who shared
it was forever. Janeway stared, dizzy, up at Chakotay. It felt
so warm and secure with his hands cupping her face, but a vision
of Seska\’s horrible face darkened the sweet moment. Janeway
stepped from his embrace, and sank into her chair. She had never
felt so close to Chakotay the man, or so distant from Chakotay,
her first officer. She was glowing, but a million questions had
begun to cloud the bliss. Her head sank into her hands, and she
could not even lift her head to acknowledge Chakotay\’s departure.
It could be said she didn\’t even know he was gone until the first
chill of loneliness for him swept over her. She realized then
that she loved him.

************************************************************

Chakotay stared out of the windows in the empty Mess Hall,
his thoughts of the woman in her Ready Room, and the woman who
had cursed him to forever doubt himself about his feelings about
Janeway; whose harsh voice echoed, \”And you are a fool to follow
her!\” when he thought of Janeway\’s soft hair, her shining eyes,
her warm smile… His heart quickened as a slender woman\’s hand
touched his shoulder. His face fell when he saw B\’Elanna
hovering over him. \”What\’s wrong, Chakotay?\” asked B\’Elanna.

Chakotay turned away. \”I can\’t tell you, B\’Elanna.\”

B\’Elanna grabbed his shoulders and turned him around.
\”We\’ve been through alot together, Chakotay. I look up to you,
respect you. You\’ve helped me out a thousand times. Let me help
you for once, Chakotay.\”

\”You can\’t, B\’Elanna! Just leave me alone!\” Chakotay
snapped.

\”Chakotay, you\’ve never been this angry! What is with
you?\” For once, B\’Elanna Torres was afraid.

\”I\’m sorry, B\’Elanna. This is one quest I must make
alone…\”

************************************************************

\”Your shot, B\’Elanna.\” Tom Paris poked Torres in the back
with his cue.

\”Oh! I\’m sorry Tom… I\’m just thinking.\”

Tom leaned over the pool table. \”No kidding, B\’Elanna…
what about?\”

Kes felt the Klingon\’s ridged forehead. \”You\’re not sick,
B\’Elanna?\”

\”No, I\’m just worried about Chakotay. He hasn\’t spoken to
anyone in hours. After his shifts, he just sits in the Mess Hall
or his quarters, looking out the windows.\”

\”Captain Janeway\’s been acting strange, too. She just sits
in her chair on the Bridge. She\’s still a great captain, but her
heart\’s not in it. And she won\’t look at Commander Chakotay at
all.\” said Harry Kim.

B\’Elanna lowered her voice and looked around at the rest
of them. \”You know what I think… I think that Janeway
threatened him!\”

\”Threatened him?\” Kes looked puzzled.

\”She probably hates all the Maquis, and she probably wanted
to keep Chakotay in line, so she threatened him. That\’s the only
thing that would hurt him so much.\” whispered B\’Elanna harshly.

\”What about… love?\” said Harry, staring at B\’Elanna.
\”Maybe he\’s having a liaison with one of the ensigns, or some
other subordinate.\”

B\’Elanna confronted him. \”Do you mean to imply…?\”

\”No, B\’Elanna! It\’s just that if she told him not to
see… someone… that might be the reason they\’re acting
strangely.\”

\”Yeah right, Harry. \’Love\’ isn\’t a part of their
vocabulary anymore.\” mocked B\’Elanna.

************************************************************

Janeway and Chakotay sat in their commander\’s chairs,
averting their eyes to each other, numb to the ebb and flow of
their harmonious crew surrounding them. Their reverie was
disrupted by Harry\’s youthful voice. \”Captain, there\’s another
M-class planet directly ahead.\”

Janeway waved her hand lazily. \”Scan for lifesigns.\”

\”Little, Captain. It seems that the only life on the planet
is restricted to a 10-mile radius in the Northern Hemisphere, and
the planet is releasing some sort of ionic burst every 10 hours.\”

Janeway rose up from her chair, alert and attentive.
\”Amazing… it must have caused the fail-safe malfunction.\” The
sparkle in Janeway\’s eye became evident when presented with this
scientific quandary.

\”That\’s not all, Captain. It seems that the planet is
reversing orbit to \’face\’ us.\”

Chakotay stood up behind her, amazed as Janeway. But the
dazzle was short-lived. \”Captain, it seems as if they\’re
powering up some kind of…\” But he was cut off by blinding
burst of light. The crew blinked their eyes, and stared in
horror as the place where Chakotay and Janeway had once stood,
now empty. Harry Kim hurriedly pressed buttons, then looked up
at Tuvok. \”I don\’t know where they are, Lieutenant.\”

************************************************************

Chakotay looked around. He was in a grassy path, edged by
dense hedges. It looked like a hedge maze of sorts. He
instinctively tapped his chest, only to find his comm badge was
gone. No tricorder, either. He turned a corner, where he found
Janeway in the same plight. She paled when she saw him.
\”Commander… it seems we are the only ones here. My tricorder
and comm badge are gone.\”

\”Mine too, Captain. But where is here?\”

\”I don\’t know, Commander. But we aren\’t going to find out
sitting here. Let\’s go.\” Janeway walked briskly down one path.

Chakotay ran to catch up. \”Captain…\”

Janeway stopped abruptly. \”Yes, Commander?\”

\”We aren\’t going to learn anything if we are… preoccupied
and unable to communicate.\”

\”I don\’t know about you, Commander, but I am not
preoccupied, and we\’re communicating right now.\”

\”You know what I mean, Captain. A few days ago…\”

\”It would have happened eventually, Commander. Maybe not
with me, but B\’Elanna or Kes. It\’s just a stress-oriented
reaction. I\’ve almost forgotten about it.\” Janeway set her
mouth, hoping desperately he\’d believed her bald-faced lie.

\”I wish I had more \’stress-oriented reactions\’ then,
Captain. I usually only kiss women I\’m in love with. Thank you
for enlightening me.\” Chakotay grinned at her.

Janeway turned to hide her burning face. She strode off in
one direction, calling back blithely, \”Anytime, Commander. Now,
can we continue?\”

Chakotay jogged behind Janeway. \”Of course.\”

************************************************************

They reached a clearing a few hours later, and the sun was
high in the sky. Stopping under a shade tree, they found words
carved into the trunk:

\’For speech to amplify,
emblazon labels in
lifeblood\’s pump on
Creator\’s Creation\’

\”I know the tree is \’Creator\’s Creation,\’ but what of
\’Emblazon Labels in lifeblood\’s pump\’??\” frowned Janeway.

\”Blood… pump… heart pumps blood… HEART!\” Chakotay
felt around the trunk, until he saw a wedge of bark shaped like
heart. He pulled out a knife and began carving \”C\” and \”K.J.\”
into the heart.

Janeway\’s eyes widened at the sight of the knife, and her
cheeks burned at the sight of the initials. \”Wicked little
thing. We\’ll have to have a talk about carrying it around
Voyager.\”

Chakotay grinned at his handiwork. \”We\’ll have to talk
about alot of things back on Voyager, Captain… there!\” He
said, yanking out the piece of bark, uncovering… \”Our comm
badges!\” laughed Chakotay, handing one to Janeway. She pinned it
on, happy and relived. It was as if a part of her was restored.
She tapped it hesitantly.

\”Janeway to Bridge.\”

Harry smiled at Tuvok. \”Good to hear your voice, Captain.
Is Commander Chakotay with you?\”

*Boy IS he…* thought Janeway, glancing at Chakotay.
\”Yes, he\’s here. It seems we\’re in some sort of maze. Can you
beam us out, Mr. Tuvok?\”

\”Too much distortion, Captain.\”

\”We\’ll keep you posted as to our status. We seem to be in
some sort of puzzle at the moment, Lieutenant.\”

\”Puzzle, Captain?\”

Janeway smiled at the mental image of Tuvok arching his
eyebrow at Harry Kim. \”I\’ll explain when we get back. Janeway
out.\”

Janeway looked at Chakotay. They stood before 2 hedge-
lined paths, each looking exactly like the other. \”Which way do
we go, Commander?\”

\”Well, we won\’t get anywhere standing here. Let\’s just
take one.\” said Chakotay, striding toward one path. \”Captain?\”

Janeway started, shaken from a haze. \”Oh! I\’m sorry,
Commander. My mind was somewhere else…\”

\”I see.\” Chakotay smirked knowingly, admiring the fleeting
blush on Janeway\’s face. He stepped to the opening, and added,
\”Don\’t bother, Captain. It\’s a reflective surface. Quite well
done, too.\”

Janeway walked over to the other path. Her face fell.
\”It\’s a mirror, too.\”

\”Not to worry, Captain.\”

Janeway spun around, trying to find the source of
Chakotay\’s voice. Suddenly she was grabbed from behind by a pair
of arms. Her scream was muffled by a hand over her mouth. She
pulled her elbow back, and knocked the wind out of her assailant.
The attacker\’s breath rushed over her neck, and she gasped.
\”Chakotay!\” she cried, rushing over to where the Commander lay,
doubled over. \”I\’m so sorry… I didn\’t…\”

Chakotay grinned at her. \”I\’m fine, Captain. But how did
you know it was me before you turned around?\”

Janeway concentrated on his tattoo so as not to falter.
\”Your… breath,\” she murmured.

Chakotay struggled to his feet with Janeway\’s help. Maybe
it was the exertion that brought crimson to his face, or
something else; either way, he recovered quickly. \”I didn\’t mean
to frighten you, Captain. I found that the hedge here is another
mirage. We can pass through it…\” He grabbed Janeway\’s hand and
pulled her through the seemingly dense hedge. They found
themselves in a dazzingly white area. The hedges from which they
had come were encrusted with snow. Chakotay inspected the area.
Underneath the thermal fabric of her uniform, Janeway shivered
horribly. The ground under their feet was icy… it WAS ice.
Janeway impulsively swept away snow from the ice, uncovering
another verse like the one in the tree trunk:

\”Take a mortal plummet
to get the privity
you desire…\”

\”Privity… information… our tricorders!\” said Janeway,
dropping to her knees to inspect the phrase. The ice cracked
beneath her, and she slipped into the water with a loud splash.

Chakotay spun around. \”Kathryn!\” he yelled. The only
thought in his mind was to save her. He jumped into the hole in
the ice. Everything went black, and his muscular form sank.

************************************************************

\”Bridge to Commander Chakotay… Bridge to Captain
Janeway… Captain, can you hear me??\” Tuvok\’s voice jolted
Janeway from unconsciousness.

She tried to move her right hand, but it was stuck under a
heavy weight. She lifted her free left hand, and tapped her comm
badge awkwardly. \”Janeway here. What\’s the problem?\”

The Vulcan\’s voice calmed her. \”Well, we\’ve been trying to
communicate with you and the Commander for an hour, and you
haven\’t responded. Is there something wrong?\”

\”We\’ve been unconscious. We fell into a icy pond.\”

\”Captain?\”

\”It\’s a long story. Suffice to say I… we… are now in
some sort of…\” she wiped sweat off her brow, \”desert. It is
very strange here, Lieutenant.\”

\”Yes Captain, we noticed your sensor logs from your
tricorder.\”

\”Excuse me, Mr. Tuvok? We haven\’t had our triquarters for
some time.\” Janeway felt around the ground and found her
tricorder. Using her one free hand dexterously, she found that
it had scanned everywhere they\’d been. \”I stand corrected, Mr.
Tuvok. We\’ll keep you posted. Janeway out.\”

The weight covering most of the left side of her body
shifted, and a groan issued from near her head. Janeway
struggled to turn to her left, and saw that the massive weight
pinning her down was her first officer. \”Chakotay!\” she laughed
hoarsely.

Chakotay writhed until he was nose to nose with the
Captain, and colored deeply. He jumped up quickly, covering his
embarrassment with deep apologies. \”Captain, I didn\’t… I
thought…\”

Janeway, unburdened of her muscular oppressor, lounged on
the ground, gradually getting the feeling back into her leg and
arm. She smiled whimsically at her florid first officer. \”It
seems that we have accomplished the end of the rhyme in the ice,
however Bohemian the trip. We have our tricorders now, at
least.\”

\”Good! Now we can scan for a way out of this oven!\” grinned
Chakotay, wiping the forming sweat from his forehead. He picked
his tricorder from the hot sand, and scanned the area. \”Nothing!
Not a lifesign anywhere! Except for cacti and dust, there\’s
nothing!\”

No messages anywhere around here, Commander? Then how are
we going to get out of here??\” Janeway hugged her knees, and
wrinkled her brow, desperately thinking of ways to get out of
this arid wasteland. Her stomach wrenched inside her, and she
was half-unconscious and weak from hunger.

Suddenly, a bright light shone before them, and it came to
the Captain… they were not alone. It wasn\’t a space anomaly
that brought them here… it was a being. The light grew
brighter, and it shaped itself into the form of a small child,
which approached the Captain. \”Captain Janeway. I am glad you
came here.\”

Janeway smiled at the being. \”It wasn\’t by choice…?\”

\”My name would have no significance to you, Captain.\”

\”How do you know my name, and how did you find us?\”

The being smiled at Janeway. \”Captain, we have \’met\’
before.\”

Inexplicable recognition swept over Janeway. \”You were the
wave that \’crushed\’ our ship?\”

The being looked pleased. \”Very good, Captain. Suffice to
say I know many things in your logs and your own mind that no one
on this ship knows.\” She turned to where Chakotay had silently
observed the whole conversation. \”Ahh, YOU must be Commander
Chakotay. Your logs were very deep, in human terms.\” She smiled
conspiratorially at Janeway. \”I see.\” she murmured mysteriously.

Chakotay turned to Janeway, mystified. Janeway fumbled
strangely. \”Nothing to concern you, Commander.\”

Chakotay shook his head, smiling. \”And I see, Captain.\”

\”What is the meaning of all this? This planet, bringing us
here, going through all this?\” queried Janeway.

\”We needed to test the two of you, and the mettle of your
crew. This planet, and everything on it, is a facade. The 10
square mile of life you scanned alerted us on the other side that
you had entered our range. After studying your fascinating logs
and your extraordinary psyche, we decided to determine whether to
invite you to join us.\” the creature said placidly.

\”Join you? Facade? Other side?\” Chakotay and Janeway
exchanged puzzled glances.

\”The 10 square miles you found is really a gateway to the
other side, where my people reside. We had to disguise The
Gateway in order for you to get close enough for us to bring you
here.\”

Janeway brought her hand to her forehead thoughtfully, and
gestured at the being. \”If the planet we are supposedly on is an
illusion, where is here?\”

The being glowed brighter, and smiled warmly. \”You are in
Sh\’a Habir\’a, beyond The Gateway.\”

Janeway and Chakotay looked at each other, and their
combined gaze fell on the glowing being smiling placidly at them.

************************************************************

Chakotay spoke directly to the being for the first time.
\”But how can we speak to our crew if we\’re in… wherever we
are?\”

Despite their situation, Janeway\’s heart lept up when she
heard \”OUR crew.\” She smiled to herself. \”Wait a second.
You\’ve told us WHERE we are, and HOW we got here, but you haven\’t
told us HOW we get back, and WHY we\’re even here!\”

The being beamed irritatingly again. \”Closer observation
of you and your commander under stress. You are quite
remarkable. The ones you call the Kazons were not as…
intuitive as yourselves. The co-leader was very intelligent, but
her mind was too stealthy and cruel for our purposes. It was
clouded with deception.\”

\”Seska!\” whispered Chakotay hoarsely. Janeway could see
the amazement in his eyes.

\”Yes, I believe that was her name.\” the being said.

\”Seska is alive?!?\” gasped Janeway.

Chakotay sucked in his breath. \”And a co-leader of the
Kazon!\”

\”You would never have to worry about that again, Captain
Kathryn Janeway.\”

\”What?\”

\”Join us here in Sh\’a Habir\’a. Live forever free from
pain.\” smiled the being.

************************************************************

Janeway stared at this gorgeous creature, who was extending
her hand toward her. \”I don\’t understand. Why me?\”

The creature glided nearer to Janeway, who backed away,
somehow afraid. \”You are the possessor of a amazing mind,
Captain Janeway. If you stay here, you can use your mind to its
full potential, and achieve perfect harmony.\” She waved a slim
hand, and a man\’s form appeared from thin air. Mark ran toward
Janeway. A searing pain shot through Chakotay\’s heart as Mark
caught her up in his arms, and kissed her. Janeway opened her
eyes, and looked at Chakotay. She saw with shock the longing and
pain in their depths. Instinctively, she pushed herself from
Mark, and stood between the two men. Then Mark\’s form
dissipated, and left Janeway standing before Chakotay, with the
being smiling slightly malevolently. \”Your every wish can be
granted, if you come with us, Captain Janeway!\”

Janeway shook her head. \”No. I can\’t leave my crew.\”

\”If you come to us, Captain Kathryn Janeway, I will send
your crew home.\”

With a faint shimmer, the creature was gone, leaving
Janeway to ponder the fate of more than 100 people, and Chakotay
to reflect on the possibility of life without the Captain.

************************************************************

Janeway turned to Chakotay. \”I can\’t think, Commander.
Help me.\” she pleaded.

Chakotay shook his head. \”This is your decision, Captain.
I have no right to decide your fate.\”

She moved to touch his shoulder, and he grasped her hand in
his. \”You have every right to help me, Commander. You are my…
\” her voice failed her, and Chakotay realized he hadn\’t breathed
during this episode. He released her hand, and she hugged him
tenderly, and turned away. Somehow, this action was more sweet
to him than the kiss, which seemed far away now.

Janeway began to pace. \”I have no right to sacrifice the
futures of an entire crew for me. I might as well give up.\”

\”NO\” exclaimed Chakotay so urgently Janeway spun around.
\”What about YOUR future, Captain? We might still get home some
day. Who knows whether they\’ll really send us home, either?
I… wouldn\’t feel right captaining a Federation starship home,
either.\”

\”I must stay, for all of you.\” Janeway set her mouth in a
tight line. At that moment, the being appeared beside Janeway.
She touched Janeway on the shoulder, and an aura of bright light
surrounded her. She shuddered and moaned as she sank to her
knees. It was as if the very life was sucked out of her by this
calm banshee, unruffled by Janeway\’s screams. Chakotay could
take no more. \”NO!\” he yelled, wrenching Janeway from the
creature\’s grasp, and threw his knife at it.

************************************************************

A huge explosion rocked the ship. Dispite this, Harry
smiled, over his eyes from the motion. \”Lieutenant, we\’re able
to get a lock on Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay.\” Clare
sighed, relived.

For the first and only time in his life, Tuvok yelled.
\”Beam them out NOW!!\”

************************************************************

Chakotay rubbed his eyes, and found that one of his hands
was sore and inflamed. He sat up, and found he was in Sick Bay.
A loose Maquis tunic had replaced his uniform, which lay at the
foot of the biobed, slightly burned on the cuff. Beside the
uniform was a twisted, melted knife. The events that had caused
the burns came flooding back as he looked around, his eyes
finally coming to rest on the still figure in the next biobed.
\”I see you\’re awake, Commander,\” a grating, faintly sardonic
voice boomed from behind him. He jumped, and found the Doctor
standing behind him. \”And I see your reflexes are in working
order.\”

Chakotay glared at the Doctor. \”Why\’d you yell at me,
Doctor? Are you programmed with a sadistic sense of humor now,
too?\” he growled.

\”I\’m sorry, Commander. My volume must have been turned up
a little high today.\” The Doctor moved to inspect Chakotay\’s
hand. Chakotay winced. \”A little sore, but you should have the
full use of it in a few days.\”

Chakotay\’s gaze went back to Janeway. \”And the Captain…
is she…?\”

\”Oh no, Commander. Simply getting a well-deserved sleep.
She suffered strange burns, like yourself, near her shoulders and
upper back, but she is resting comfortably now, and should be
fine in a few days. For all you two have been through from the
looks of your sensor logs, you are amazingly hardy. Nothing
could kill that woman, I don\’t think.\”

Chakotay grinned in her direction. \”I hope not, Doctor, I
hope not.\”

************************************************************

A week later, Janeway sat in her quarters, deep in thought.
The beep of her door jarred her for a second, and with a absent
\”Come,\” she relapsed into her reverie. A youthful shadow slipped
at her knee, and laid her head on Janeway\’s lap. Janeway shook
the cobwebs from her head, and smiled down at the young ensign\’s
softly shining face, and stroked her soft brown hair. \”Clare.
How are you?\”

Tears welled up in her big hazel eyes. \”We were so afraid.
First the darts, then you just… disappeared. I was afraid I\’d
lost my parents for the third time.\”

Janeway hugged the crying girl. \”My poor Clare. I had no
idea…\”

Clare looked up admiringly. \”Of course, Captain. You\’re
my hero. And if I\’d lost that…\”

Janeway clapped her hand over Clare\’s mouth. \”But you
didn\’t, and you won\’t for a long time yet. Now go. If I
remember correctly, you have a duty shift in a few minutes, and
Tom doesn\’t like you to be late.\”

Clare beamed. \”Yes, Captain.\”

As she left, Janeway turned around in her chair. She had
almost sacrificed herself for her crew, but her crew needed her.
She was glad that Chakotay had saved her from making the biggest
mistake of her career. Her thoughts turned to Chakotay. She ran
over everything she\’d ever said and done, analyzing every
conversation, every sarcastic comment, every unconscious
innuendo. \”Mating process!\” she laughed, wondering how she ever
said that aloud.

Then she sobered. Other than that inoppertune comment, she
was still in shock as to why she loved Chakotay, and even more
puzzling, why Chakotay was even friendly to her. She represented
everything he had fought AGAINST. She was deep in thought when
another beep interrupted her. \”Come.\”

By then she had come to the conclusion that Neelix had
spiked the Auturian salad with Barvan tomatoes that day. She
turned to reach for her PADD to find out the effects of Barvan
tomatoes on brain waves in humanoids, when her groping hands
found another hand on the table behind her. She turned around,
and looked up at her first officer. \”Hello, Commander. Found a
new M-class planet to explore that you needed to tell me about?\”

He turned her chair around, and sat before her in an
adjacent chair. He stared at her solemnly. \”You know what I\’m
here about, Captain.\”

She sighed. \”We can\’t forget it, can we?\” she murmured, as
if pronouncing the inevitable.

\”No.\” Chakotay leaned forward. \”And I don\’t want to, and I
don\’t think you do, either.\”

\”But what about the crew?\” Janeway said, forehead leaning
on her hand.

\”It isn\’t the crew\’s concern unless it interferes with our
leadership of this crew, and right now doing nothing is affecting
us more than not.\”

\”But what about … ?\”

\”She\’s dead.\” Chakotay said sharply. \”No matter what that
– – creature – – says… And the Seska I thought I knew never
even existed outside of my imagination. Seska was a myth, but
you are real.\” he eyed Janeway pointedly, \”But the more
appropriate question is, \’What about Mark?\’\”

\”Mark,\” Janeway sighed. \”He\’s 75 light-years away, taking
care of my dogs… I thought I could live with memories for the
rest of my life, but… \” Janeway hung her head. \”I\’ve changed.
These past few days – – this entire mission – – has questioned
everything that identifies me as Kathryn Janeway. I\’ve changed
my outlook, and Mark doesn\’t fit anymore.\”

Chakotay, practically on his knees before her, stroked her
cheek and looked up at her with a new light in his eyes. \”Do I,
Kathryn?\”

Hearing his entonement of her name, Janeway could not
speak, nor nod her head. But the soft shine and glitter of her
intense blue eyes spoke more eloquently than any simple \”yes\” or
\”no\”. His hand went to her face, and they looked into each
other\’s eyes for what seemed an eternity. Slowly, as if in a
dream, their lips met, and Janeway slipped to the floor beside
Chakotay. Her rigid chignon fell in a scatter of pins, and the
soft scent of her hair filled Chakotay\’s senses. After the
longest moment of his life, he pulled away and slipped from her
quarters, leaving Janeway, eyes half-closed, stunned and glowing.
For better or for worse, neither would ever be the same again.

************************************************************

Fin

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Comments are appreciated

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All characters and the Star Trek Voyager name, except for Clare
Edwards, belong to the owners of the copyrights thereof,
Paramount, UPN, ect. This story is for entertainment purposes
only, and distribution is encouraged (keep my name on it,
though!).

************************************************************

In this series:

Voyager I: Prot‚g‚
Voyager II: Amantium Irae
Voyager III: D‚tente
Voyager VI: Puppy Love
Voyager V: Parti Pris
Voyager VI: Roles

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